Chapter 42: Exactly the same

Everyone has their own secrets.

The identity of an Agent is sensitive, and there are those who keep their identities completely confidential out of concern for the safety of their families and loved ones.

Yonomikenami wouldn’t be so tactless as to pry into Ephnel’s reasons.

These were not things to be discussed with Yukina.

Yonomikenami had been Ephnel’s combat operator for quite some time now, and she had more or less gotten used to Ephnel’s “Yanase Naoto” side.

For Ephnel to suddenly take the initiative to reveal her own disguise actually made Yonomikenami a little worried.

It was obvious that Ephnel’s sudden confession to Yukina was because of what had happened today.

The gears had been set in motion for many things concerning Ephnel and Yukina, and they couldn’t be stopped.

So, Ephnel wanted to make a preemptive move.

Ephnel going to see the commander just now was precisely because of the series of events that had occurred today.

Ephnel usually seemed a bit airheaded, but if her principles and bottom line were crossed, then no one could sway her.

At times like that, she was always aggressive and very imposing, leaving no room for negotiation… Yonomikenami, who had been by Ephnel’s side for so long, knew this all too well.

The thought that the rigid commander might even get beaten up by an enraged Ephnel made Yonomikenami a little anxious.

“Is something wrong, Miss Yonomikenami? You don’t look very well.”

“Ah, it’s nothing.”

Her thoughts were pulled back to the present.

Yonomikenami let out a long sigh.

Ephnel didn’t want her to interfere in this matter, so there was no use in her sighing here now.

The only task Ephnel had given her was to take good care of Yukina.

Yonomikenami decided to just clear her mind.

She looked at Yukina.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about work… Well, let’s talk about your sister instead. I was wondering what she suddenly called you to the hospital for, but now it’s all clear…”

Yonomikenami smiled.

“But speaking of which, did your sister properly explain things to you herself?”

“She did, I think…”

“You think?”

“Yeah…”

Yukina thought for a moment, not knowing how to answer.

“Actually, I’m not very clear on it myself, on what counts as her having ‘told me’… There are still so many things I want to know, so many that I can’t even list them all. In the end, I have no confidence at all in how much I really know about her… Onee-chan has always been like that, never telling me things about herself. It’s only when I want to understand her that I realize I know nothing about her at all.”

Yukina gave an awkward smile and looked at Yonomikenami.

“Compared to me, you must know my sister much better, Miss Yonomikenami… After all, you fight alongside each other, comrades who entrust their backs to one another… Unlike me, who is just protected and knows nothing. From the very beginning, I was on the side that couldn’t understand her…”

‘How did the topic suddenly get pushed to me?’

Yonomikenami tilted her head, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

And besides, she was supposed to tell Yukina about Ephnel?

They were sisters who had lived together for over a decade.

Even if a rift had formed between them due to certain things, it wasn’t her place as an outsider to comment on it.

“That’s not really the case.”

“It is.”

Yonomikenami tactfully shook her head, trying to avoid the question, but Yukina stood up with unusual determination.

“It definitely is. The sister in my eyes, and the Ephnel in your eyes… To me, my sister is a very important person, and so is Ephnel. But for them to actually be the same person… it’s suddenly hard to accept… I want to be able to understand them. That’s why I’m here. So, no matter how little, I want to know the real her.”

…

On the way here, Yukina had been thinking.

Back then, when she had begged Ephnel to save her brother, what was Ephnel feeling…

Why did she have that expression on her face?

How much of what Ephnel had said to her held a hidden meaning?

Those casual details, those forgotten words, now reappeared in her mind, replaying over and over.

In the year since that time, how many of the things Ephnel had said to her were said as Ephnel, and how many were said as her older sister?

The tangled balls of yarn in her heart began to be picked up again, and Yukina’s mind was once again filled with a surge of memories.

Perhaps, for Ephnel, nothing had ever changed… The only one who had really changed was Yukina herself.

She couldn’t understand…

Yukina couldn’t help but wonder if this had happened countless times before, if Ephnel had tried to convey something to her time and time again in the moments she had overlooked.

But in the end, had she, who was only concerned with her own affairs, selfishly cast it all aside?

Her sister’s feelings, her sister’s thoughts, what the world looked like through her sister’s eyes—how many things had she overlooked?

There were still so many things she wanted to know, no matter what.

Yukina looked at Yonomikenami with a serious expression.

“Before, the distance between my sister and I was gradually growing, and it made me very uneasy. But now, that uneasiness hasn’t lessened at all… All this time, I’ve misunderstood her… But… maybe this will sound strange, but when I see her, I’m reminded of the promise she and I made when we were little. Even though I know the reasons for everything she’s done, her difficulties, the things she couldn’t say, in the end, I still got angry at her for my own selfish reasons…”

Whether it was for her sister or for Ephnel, this feeling was genuine.

Her sister had hidden many things from her and gradually grown distant in order to protect her.

Yukina didn’t doubt this reason for a second.

But with these two feelings suddenly entangled, Yukina could no longer distinguish between them.

“Am I a horrible person…?”

Yukina pursed her lips and lowered her gaze.

“I hate this version of myself too… I probably still can’t sort out my feelings and face her. That’s why I thought of you just now. Miss Yonomikenami, you must be someone my sister trusts. The things you said to me before… I’ve been thinking about them… And Miss Canary, she told me a lot of things too. I think I still want to know more about my sister. Not just as a fan and a supporter, and not just as a younger sister. Can you tell me more? About my sister, the one you all know as Miss Ephnel.”

Yonomikenami looked at Yukina for a long time, then suddenly gave a meaningful smile.

“Little Yukina… you have quite an imposing air. You’re like a completely different person from when we first met. As I thought… you sisters are all the same. Not just me… everyone probably thinks so too.”

Yonomikenami gestured for Yukina to look around.

“Am I…?”

Yukina shifted her gaze and looked to the side, only then noticing the curious glances coming from all around.

It was very quiet here, so even though Yukina’s voice wasn’t loud, the people around her could more or less hear her.

And so, whoosh—Yukina’s face turned red.

She awkwardly looked away and sat down stiffly.

“S-Sorry… I just got carried away and said so much… Please don’t make fun of me, Miss Yonomikenami…”

“Why would I make fun of you?”

Yonomikenami leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand and smiling.

“But you’re so cute, little Yukina, I probably can’t help but want to tease you a little.”

Yonomikenami fiddled with a coffee spoon in her empty cup, then suddenly sighed again.

“Ephnel, too. From the looks of it, she didn’t really say anything in the end, did she? Although it’s not really my place to say this, but actually, your sister’s feelings right now are probably the same as yours. Standing in place, hesitating, feeling uneasy because of you. In that respect, you sisters are exactly alike.”

“Um… are we…”

Yukina gave an embarrassed smile, not quite understanding what Yonomikenami was saying.

A brief silence fell between them.

Yukina lowered her gaze, looking at her dirty shoes under the table.

Her and her sister, were they really the same…

…