Chapter 44: The Dean’s Matchmaking Biscuits

Don’t just sip tea; indulge in these royal-exclusive biscuits.

Dean Yu Qinglan, with an elegant flick of his magic staff, opened the gilded pastry box, which immediately sprang open to display its exquisite nine-compartment design.

Within each compartment lay an assortment of intricately shaped biscuits: some sculpted into delicate roses, others fashioned as elegant crescent moons, and still more as radiant stars and charming hearts.

Bathed in the magical glow, they shimmered with an enchanting brilliance.

A slight twitch pulled at the corner of Ye Xingchen’s eye.

The sheer grandeur of this packaging rivaled the elaborate Mid-Autumn Festival mooncake gift boxes he remembered from CCTV in his previous life.

If only it came with a golden light special effect upon opening, it could undoubtedly feature in a gourmet documentary.

With another gentle tap of the Dean’s magic staff, the exquisitely crafted biscuits gracefully floated into the hands of all three individuals.

Su Liyue and Ye Xingchen cast their gazes downwards, and an immediate stiffness seized them.

What they held were unmistakably two halves of a mandarin duck biscuit (TL Note: A traditional Chinese pastry often given to newlywed couples), designed to form a complete heart when joined.

Along their edges, intricate vine patterns were traced in gleaming gold thread, a design so overtly romantic it screamed ‘couple’s edition’!

‘Dean, must you really go to such lengths?! Even the biscuits are being used to stir up trouble!’

Mu Wanqing, oblivious to their plight, delightedly cradled her star-shaped biscuit.

‘Wow! This pattern is absolutely gorgeous!’

Curiosity piqued, she leaned in closer.

‘Liyue, what kind did you two get—’ Her words abruptly halted midway as her gaze fell upon the perfectly matched heart-shaped biscuits in their hands, her eyes instantly sparkling with realization.

Qizai, seizing the opportune moment, poked her head out from her scabbard, her sword tassel quivering with excitement.

[Master, Mistress, are you going to feed each other biscuits? I can help record this momentous occasion!]

Jiuwu the phoenix, not to be outdone, promptly sketched a playful diagram in the air with her tail flame: ‘(⑉°з°)-♡( ｰ̀εｰ́ )’, thoughtfully enhancing it with twinkling star effects.

‘Dean… your refreshments… they are quite distinctive?’ Su Liyue’s fingers, clutching the biscuit, trembled almost imperceptibly.

Dean Yu Qinglan, stroking his beard with a knowing smile, calmly continued to sip his tea as if nothing out of the ordinary were happening.

‘It’s said that these special biscuits are most delicious when paired with black tea.

Especially this ‘Bi Yi Shuang Fei’ (TL Note: ‘Wings Flying Together,’ a Chinese idiom symbolizing a loving couple) biscuit; it’s only truly flavorful when two people share it.’

He cast a pointed glance at the heart-shaped biscuits still clutched in their hands.

Ye Xingchen’s earlobes flushed crimson with visible speed, and the biscuit in his hand suddenly felt searingly hot.

Su Liyue, meanwhile, attempted to maintain her composure, yet the faint trembling of her fingertips unmistakably betrayed her acute embarrassment.

Just then, the central compartment of the pastry box suddenly opened automatically, and a biscuit carved with the character ‘囍’ (TL Note: ‘Shuangxi,’ meaning ‘double happiness,’ a symbol often used at weddings) slowly rose.

To everyone’s astonished gaze, it ‘snapped’ into two halves, landing precisely in Su Liyue’s and Ye Xingchen’s teacups…

Ye Xingchen felt as though his very brain were vibrating.

‘Damn it,’ Ye Xingchen fumed inwardly. ‘I absolutely refuse to believe this audacious maneuver was concocted by that old fogey Yu Qinglan.

It must be Duke Xiao’s rotten idea, cooked up in that cunning mind of his.

After all, when I visited the Duke’s mansion previously, he explicitly informed me that Su Liyue and Ye Xingchen were “involved,” and warned me to rein in my little rascal, or he might find his “third leg” crippled one day without even knowing it.’

Bound by his current identity, Ye Xingchen could only feign humility as he began to probe.

‘Dean, sir, you specifically called us here… surely it’s not merely to help ‘someone’ push for a marriage, is it?

And with me, of all people—the bottom-ranked student in the entire grade?’ He deliberately stressed the words ‘someone,’ all while maintaining the cautious, somewhat awkward posture befitting a struggling student.

As the male Ye Xingchen, he instinctively knew he had to maintain his image, careful not to repeat the habitual blunders he’d just made.

Yet, embodying Su Liyue, his female persona, he felt significantly more uninhibited; the exquisite refreshments laid out before them were simply too tempting to resist.

The undeniable benefit of operating two accounts was the ability to savor double the deliciousness simultaneously—a truly lucrative endeavor!

And to indulge in a variety of culinary delights, what could be more splendid?

Dean Yu Qinglan narrowed his eyes, having naturally grasped the underlying probe in Ye Xingchen’s words.

‘Someone’ clearly alluded to Duke Xiao, who was behind him, and ‘bottom-ranked’ undoubtedly referred to the matter between Ye Xingchen and Su Liyue.

‘Even the last-place student has their own unique advantages…’

His gaze, heavy with meaning, then settled upon Su Liyue.

‘After all, didn’t you, the last-place student, manage to win over the grade’s number one campus beauty?’

‘Pfft—’ Su Liyue, who had just taken a bite of biscuit and was poised to sip her black tea, intending to test the Dean’s assertion about the unique flavor pairing, nearly choked, spitting out a mouthful of tea upon hearing that statement.

‘What the hell?! The last-place student paired with the top-ranked student?! What kind of demonic couple pairing formula is this?! Is 1+1 going to equal 3?!’

The teacup lid, as if witnessing the blasphemy, ‘snapped’ shut and disdainfully retreated to the edge of the tray.

Qizai, inside her scabbard, shook with uncontrollable laughter, the bells on her sword tassel jingling wildly.

Jiuwu the phoenix, meanwhile, with a flourish of her tail flame, proceeded to conjure a mathematical formula in the air.

‘1 (Underachiever) + 1 (Top Student) = ♡’

‘↓’

‘3 (A Family of Three)’

Mu Wanqing, her eyes wide with inspiration, excitedly pulled out a small notebook.

‘So this is the power of love!’ she exclaimed. ‘It can even rewrite magical mathematical formulas!’

The Dean, seizing the moment, waved his magic staff.

Instantly, the teapot automatically drizzled a layer of chocolate sauce onto their heart-shaped biscuits, conspicuously forming the characters ‘永结同心’ (TL Note: ‘Yongjie Tongxin,’ meaning ‘forever bound in one heart,’ a common wedding blessing)!

Ye Xingchen stared at this ostentatious magical display, his mind a stampede of furious thoughts.

‘Duke Xiao, you old reprobate! Just you wait until this is all over; I’ll stuff every single one of your treasured millennium-old salted fish into your bed!’

‘Dean, sir, Ye Xingchen is actually—’

Su Liyue’s face was flushed crimson, having choked on her black tea, but to any outside observer, she simply appeared to be blushing shyly, a picture of demure obedience, on the verge of speaking yet holding back.

Dean Yu Qinglan, wearing an expression that seemed to see through all pretenses, nodded repeatedly.

‘I know, I know.

You contribute fifty cents, and he contributes fifty cents! Together, that makes a perfect dollar!’ As he spoke, he even made a ‘five’ gesture with his hand.

‘What the hell?! Both of us contribute fifty cents?!’

And she distinctly recalled bringing up this ‘fifty cents each’ meme (TL Note: A Chinese internet meme about two people contributing small, equal amounts to make a whole, symbolizing mutual effort in a relationship) when she was telling Mu Wanqing love stories one night: true love, she had explained, was two people who liked each other each contributing fifty cents to make a dollar.

Now, to her utter dismay, not only had it spread, but this time, it had outrageously reached the ears of this old fogey of a Dean?

A twitch pulled at the corner of Su Liyue’s eye as she cast a sidelong glance at her best friend, Mu Wanqing, who was blissfully munching on a biscuit beside her.

The more she looked, the more that girl resembled a professional wingman.

If this ‘assistance’ continued, she might truly find herself dragging ‘herself’ to the magical marriage registration office to obtain a license one day!

‘Cough, cough…’ Ye Xingchen strategically cleared his throat. ‘Dean, have you considered that romance might negatively impact Su Liyue’s academic performance?’

Su Liyue, with a rapid, chick-pecking motion, immediately nodded in fervent agreement.

However, their overwhelmingly synchronized reaction, a testament to their tacit understanding (TL Note: A Chinese term referring to implicit mutual understanding or chemistry), was, in everyone else’s eyes, simply a blatant exchange of flirtatious glances.

‘We are, after all, a proper magic academy,’ Dean Yu Qinglan declared, stroking his beard with a knowing chuckle.

‘As long as no laws are broken and no one’s will is coerced, we generally refrain from excessive interference in our students’ private lives.’

Su Liyue and Ye Xingchen simultaneously widened their eyes in surprise.

‘The academy truly is open-minded!’

Compared to his previous life on Earth, where, at their age, dating was a clandestine affair, always fearing discovery by teachers and the inevitable disciplinary action, this was a stark contrast!

Su Liyue, feigning composure, suddenly had a flash of inspiration.

‘Actually, Dean… besides contributing fifty cents each, we could even contribute sixty cents each.’

‘Sixty cents each?’ Dean Yu Qinglan stroked his beard, pondering in confusion.

‘That way, Ye Xingchen and I wouldn’t just make a dollar together…’ Su Liyue offered a sly smile. ‘We’d have an extra twenty cents, making it ‘one dollar twenty’!’

Upon hearing this, the Dean’s eyes suddenly lit up with realization.

‘Oh! You two want to live together!

No, no! The academy has clear regulations: male and female students cannot reside in mixed-gender dorms, not even if you’re a couple!’

‘What the hell do you mean, live together?!’ Ye Xingchen finally broke.

‘Your magic language teachers must have been physical education instructors!’

Even Mu Wanqing’s expression became complex, and the biscuit in her hand ‘crunched’ into two halves.

‘Liyue… are you two progressing that quickly now?

Do you need my help with dormitory interior design ideas?’