Chapter 5: The Perils of Pet Ownership and Profound Pronoun Ponderings

Observing Mu Wanqing’s fervent interest in learning Earth languages, Su Liyue suddenly wondered if she should find an opportunity to teach her some second-tier phrases in the future.

Then, in their dorm, Mu Wanqing could call out to her, “Yamete! Yamete!”

That seemed quite amusing.

And Su Liyue herself would be on the sidelines, cheering, “Ganbatte! Ganbatte!”—it sounded absolutely perfect.

***

Ever since her first day in this world, Su Liyue had harbored a perplexing question: Why did everyone here speak Chinese?

Could this be a different future timeline of Earth, or merely a coincidence in a parallel universe?

It couldn’t possibly be that some mighty cultivation masters from Earth had already promoted Chinese to become the common tongue of the multiverse, could it? That thought alone was truly astonishing.

However, if this truly were Earth’s future, many modern vocabulary words didn’t seem to have been fully preserved.

This was evident in some of the internet slang from her previous life on Earth that she had taught Mu Wanqing.

Precisely for this reason, Su Liyue would occasionally teach Mu Wanqing Earth’s popular slang, hoping to understand this world’s linguistic culture through language.

Yet, the way this magical genius flexibly applied what she learned was utterly dumbfounding.

For instance, last week, Su Liyue taught her ‘yyds’ (TL Note: A Chinese internet slang term, ‘yǒng yuǎn dī shén,’ meaning ‘eternal god’ or ‘forever the GOAT’).

The very next day, during potion class, she heard Mu Wanqing say to her:

“Yueyue, look! This vitality potion is truly ‘forever single’!”

At that moment, Su Liyue, who was meticulously mixing potions, felt her hand tremble, nearly pouring the entire bottle of dragon’s blood grass essence into the cauldron.

“It’s ‘eternal god’!” she corrected in a hushed voice, only to see that Mu Wanqing had already neatly inscribed the new term on the title page of her 《Advanced Potion Formulas》, complete with a crooked little heart drawn beside it.

After class, this meme spread throughout the academy with astonishing speed.

Now, even the Potion Professor would jokingly remark during demonstrations:

“Students, pay attention; this formula is truly ‘yyds’—meaning, of course, ‘eternal god.'”

In a quiet corner of the library, Ye Xingchen recalled these conversations, silently pushing his 《Language and Cultural Adaptation Guide》 deeper into the bookshelf.

‘Some cultural impacts are simply better left to run their natural course…’

***

“By the way, Yueyue, are you ready? We’re about to go for familiar summoning soon!”

Mu Wanqing clasped her hands together, her eyes sparkling with starlight, and her wand traced adorable trails of light in the air with her movements.

“I wonder what I’ll summon! Perhaps a legendary Ice Crystal Phoenix~”

‘A familiar…’

Su Liyue remembered they were now third-year students.

According to Starfall Academy’s tradition, all third-year students had to participate in the familiar summoning ceremony.

This was so they could summon a lifelong companion familiar under the safe guidance of their instructors.

The requirement for third-year students stemmed from the belief that mages of this age had shed the greenness of a novice and were not yet tainted by worldly concerns, making it the most suitable time to establish a pure soul contract with a familiar.

After all, familiars were akin to pets; without a certain degree of love and responsibility, they could prove quite troublesome.

In the magical world, familiars were not merely guardians in battle; they were also reflections of a mage’s soul.

The more powerful the incantation, the longer the chanting time required, and a mage without a familiar acting as their protector was like a knight entering battle without armor, highly susceptible to becoming a living target.

However, for Su Liyue, she wasn’t particularly eager to summon a familiar.

For one, she had the protection of Ye Xingchen, her male counterpart, who could appear before her in an instant with a mere flick of spatial power.

Beyond that, simply summoning a familiar felt like being a ‘poop scooper’ on Earth, having to attend to its feelings and emotions.

What was more, she would have to summon two, which seemed incredibly troublesome just thinking about it.

“But Yueyue, it’s said that a familiar’s attribute will resonate with its summoner’s!” Mu Wanqing said expectantly.

She seemed quite eager for a familiar, much like someone excited about adopting their first pet.

Of course, that was if you excluded the actual scooping of poop.

“Mm,” Su Liyue nodded.

“Just like you have a water-affinity physique, making it more likely you’ll summon an Ice Crystal Phoenix. But me…”

Upon thinking of her own all-attribute affinity, Su Liyue had no idea what kind of creature she would summon.

Did all-attribute familiars even exist in this world? What if she ended up summoning a ‘sì bù xiàng’ (TL Note: A mythical Chinese creature, literally ‘four unlikes,’ referring to something bizarre or ill-defined, resembling no single animal)?

And then there was Ye Xingchen, a no-attribute affinity user; she worried he might truly summon some adorable, weak creature like a hamster.

“Exactly! I remember a senior last year had wind affinity and summoned a Dream Pegasus, capable of soaring freely through the sky—I was so envious!”

A Dream Pegasus, huh?

The existence of familiars in this world was indeed quite fantastical.

She was glad it was a girl who had summoned it; if it had been a boy, wouldn’t he be riding the Pegasus, shouting, ‘I will punish you in the name of the Moon!’?

Su Liyue suddenly pictured Ye Xingchen in a sailor suit, standing on the back of a Pegasus, and nearly burst out laughing.

“Yueyue, what are you thinking about? You look so happy!”

“Ah… nothing, nothing. I was just wondering what kind of familiar I could possibly summon. Are there really all-attribute familiars?”

“All-attribute, you say… I don’t recall seeing any in the Familiar Compendium. But I once heard a professor mention that legendary dragons are supposedly all-attribute.

However, they are inherently proud and would never deign to sign a master-servant contract with a human.”

Dragons… Su Liyue remembered that dragons in most magic worlds were typically winged creatures, often hoarders with a peculiar fondness for gold, silver, and jewels.

They were nothing like the imposingly majestic Five-Clawed Golden Dragons of the cultivation world.

However, Su Liyue distinctly recalled that in her previous life, he had also raised a Five-Clawed Golden Dragon.

He had intended to raise it from an egg and then sign a contract once it matured.

Who knew that little dragon would be incredibly gluttonous from birth, pooping everywhere like a tiny pet, and constantly demanding hugs?

It made him, the ‘poop scooper,’ utterly miserable, and he eventually simply gave it away.

Just thinking about the dragons in this world—their inherent pride, their treating wealth as treasure, and their enormous size—if she had to be their ‘poop scooper’ as well… she’d rather not be a dragon knight.

She just didn’t know if familiars in this world could be returned or transferred; otherwise, if she truly summoned such a marvel, she would be utterly distraught.

Simply dealing with the placement issues during a dragon’s mating season would be enough for her to write three theses on 《The Necessity of Familiar Sterilization》.

“Male dragons would have to be regularly sent back to Dragon Island for breeding, and female dragons are even more troublesome.

What if one day one brought a male dragon back? My dorm would probably have to be converted into a dragon’s nest!”

Imagining the possibility of having to hang a ‘No Fire-Breathing’ warning sign above her bed, she suddenly thought a hamster was ‘zhēn xiāng’.

(TL Note: A Chinese internet slang term, literally ‘truly fragrant,’ used humorously to express a change of heart, often after initially rejecting something, implying ‘it’s so good’ or ‘I want it now’)

Mu Wanqing’s wand dropped to the ground with a soft thud, startled:

“A hamster?! That’s literally trash that can’t even beat a slime! It’s practically for ‘beating up gay friends’!”

“It’s ‘just passing by’!” (TL Note: Wrong Chinese slang usage as always)

‘God, what the hell is ‘beating up gay friends’?’

Su Liyue stood with her hands on her hips, utterly justified.

“Small size, low cost, quick to sterilize, and most importantly!”

She suddenly lowered her voice,

“You don’t have to write its 《Dragon Ethics Class》 essay during final exams!”