Chapter 62: A Dangerous Kindness

“When I was little, I always bathed alone. I was so young I didn’t even know how to adjust the water temperature, so sometimes I caught colds from washing in freezing water. Other times I got burned because it was too hot.”

“What? They made a kid bathe alone? What were your parents doing?”

“…They hated coming near me. I wasn’t someone who awakened later, I was strange from the day I was born.”

That wasn’t strange. It was a special power given to save humanity in a doomed world. And even if it had been strange, what kind of parents left a child who knew nothing to bathe alone? What if he had slipped and fallen?

“I used to hold out until I got really, really dirty. Then the kids at kindergarten teased me for smelling bad, so I started washing every day. I thought if I got dirtier, people would hate being near me even more.”

Only then did Ju-an understand why Se-yoon had cried so sorrowfully when Ju-an washed him. If he had never even received the touch that should have first come from his parents, no wonder it affected him so deeply.

“But when you said you’d wash me, hyung… and covered me in soap without any hesitation… I was so happy. Hng…”

A storm of emotions swept through Ju-an. Anger, sorrow, something painful enough to make him feel like he’d go mad. Was this how a father felt seeing his child come home hurt by the world? If he could, he wanted to go back to Se-yoon’s childhood and become his father himself.

‘Are all those kids blind? Why would anyone dislike someone this pretty?’

Ju-an deliberately hugged him tighter. In the sweltering bathroom, thick with heat and steam, he held Se-yoon more warmly than anyone else ever had. He stroked the back of his head and patted his back, hoping his warmth would comfort him.

“Do you know how lovable you are, Se-yoon? People stare at you because you’re beautiful, not because there’s something wrong with you. And why are you crying? I’ll keep doing this for you from now on!”

“R-Really?”

“Of course. If you want me to, washing you with soap is nothing.”

Se-yoon rubbed his forehead against Ju-an’s shoulder. Tears dripped from his lashes onto the floor. He’d wanted to make Sung Ju-an happier than anyone else in the world, to make sure Ju-an could never leave his side.

But only a short while after starting, he’d already ruined everything. This wasn’t how he wanted things to go, but the moment Ju-an said he’d wash him, he simply couldn’t hold back anymore.

Thinking about it, Sung Ju-an had always been like this. Back when he’d been the Creator of Sacrifice, and even now, he constantly made Se-yoon’s heart race with unexpected kindness.

He regretted messing up his plans, but at the same time, he was happy he could hold Ju-an tightly like this, skin against skin.

Then Ju-an started lathering him up again. This time, the front of his body.

“Hngh…”

Every place Ju-an touched felt unbearably ticklish, hot, and thrilling. Se-yoon squirmed helplessly.

‘This is bad… w-wait…’

He tried everything, tensing his thighs, lifting onto his toes, but another part of him had already hardened on its own. Ju-an’s touch itself was innocent enough, but Se-yoon felt mortified that he was reacting like this all by himself.

More than embarrassment, though, he feared Ju-an would hate him if he realized the filthy thoughts running through his head.

Ju-an paused while soaping his thighs and slowly looked up.

“Um… uh… well, it’s a natural reaction, so. Haha.”

He really was too kind. Even though his face had turned red in embarrassment, he was clearly trying to reassure Se-yoon so he wouldn’t feel ashamed. But this wasn’t some simple physical reflex. The more warmly Ju-an reacted, the more excited Se-yoon became.

Se-yoon quickly turned around and started mentally singing the national anthem while thinking sad thoughts. But instead of calming down, things only got worse.

As he crossed his legs desperately to hide himself, a thought suddenly occurred to him. Every time he talked about his miserable past, Ju-an always went out of his way to help him. Maybe he’d solve this too.

Turning back toward Ju-an, Se-yoon decided to act on the idea.

“Is this really normal?”

“Huh? Of course. Guys naturally have to… um, anyway, it’s not weird.”

“Oh… so that’s why after people have dirty dreams, they wash their sheets…”

He deliberately trailed off with an innocent expression, and Ju-an’s face filled with horror.

“D-Don’t tell me you don’t know?”

Of course Se-yoon knew. Instinct alone would’ve taught him eventually. But kind-hearted Sung Ju-an seemed to believe him completely.

“What is it?”

“It’s… using your hand to, uh, take care of it yourself.”

As he explained, Ju-an wrapped one hand around a finger on the other and moved it up and down. It was just a hand gesture, yet somehow it looked incredibly obscene. Se-yoon swallowed hard.

What if the thing Ju-an was holding wasn’t his finger, but him?

While indulging in the fantasy, Ju-an asked,

“Do you understand now?”

“Yes. But I’m curious about something. Do you do it too, hyung?”

“I’m a guy too, so of course I do… why?”

Se-yoon openly glanced downward at the spot that had been bothering him all along. Ju-an followed his gaze, then froze with his mouth hanging open.

“I asked because it looks like you need to too, hyung.”

“N-No, I’m… anyway, no. I’ll leave, so just handle it yourself and come out.”

Ju-an hurriedly dried himself with a towel and reached for his robe. Se-yoon quickly grabbed his hand.

“You’re leaving me alone? That’s dangerous. Even for a short time, I can’t relax.”

“Ah… right, that too.”

“Then let’s just do it together. We can face opposite directions.”

Ju-an shook his head firmly, as if that was absolutely impossible.

“Then should we help each other?”

“No! Absolutely not.”

“Why not? I massaged you and washed you with soap, so why is that different?”

Se-yoon tilted his head with wide, innocent eyes, as if he truly couldn’t understand. Ju-an’s mind went completely blank. Why had things escalated this far just because Se-yoon reacted at the worst possible moment?

He should never have mentioned that men needed to take care of themselves regularly. He shouldn’t have asked how Se-yoon didn’t know.

Regret came flooding in far too late.

“You said it yourself earlier, hyung. Men need to do it regularly. What if I have a dirty dream tonight?”

“…”

What would happen if a healthy twenty-year-old woke up from an e*otic dream with the person he liked most lying right beside him? Ju-an was terrified even imagining the disaster that would follow.

“Fine. We’ll turn around and do it separately.”

“Okay.”

Thank god he didn’t insist on helping each other. Se-yoon faced the wall while Ju-an turned toward the door.

“Hngh…”

Soft m*ans soon came from behind him, followed by the wet sound of skin slapping against skin. Fortunately, Ju-an’s own body had gone limp from sheer panic.

Pretending to do something so Se-yoon wouldn’t notice, he hurriedly turned on the cold water and splashed himself with it.

“Ahh, Ju-an hyung.”

“…”

“Hngh!”

Ju-an could see Se-yoon’s legs trembling with tension. Ignoring the strained gasps and suppressed groans behind him, he desperately waited for it to end. After a long while of breathless moaning, Se-yoon looked at him with a bright smile.

“…You feel better now, right?”

“But hyung, something’s weird. Am I doing this right?”

Se-yoon looked down at himself. Ju-an followed his gaze and his eyes widened. He’d clearly seen Se-yoon finish, so why.

Instead of calming down, it looked even bigger than before.

“It didn’t work at all.”

“Th-That’s… no! I’m sure it worked. You’ll probably feel the difference tomorrow morning.”

Se-yoon licked his lips in disappointment, then smiled innocently the moment their eyes met. Ju-an suddenly felt guilty, like he’d taught something dirty to a child too pure for it. But he had to survive too, so he had no choice.

After leaving the bathroom and changing into comfortable clothes, the doorbell suddenly rang. Curious, the two of them checked the door and found neatly packaged food, carefully sealed so the soup wouldn’t spill.

“…Did you order delivery?”

“No…”

While they stared at each other in confusion, Ju-an’s phone buzzed.

— Eat.

That was all the message said.

The sender, naturally, was Ji-chan.

“I guess Ji-chan sent it. Perfect timing, I was starving!”

They carried the food inside and spread it across the table. Se-yoon pouted, insisting he could cook too, but the moment he tasted the warm soup, rice, perfectly seasoned rolled omelet, and dried shredded squid, his face filled with defeat.

Then he started devouring the food at lightning speed.

‘Yeah, no one can resist Ji-chan’s cooking. Eat lots, Gong Se-yoon. You’re still growing.’

Thinking that to himself, Ju-an picked up his spoon too.

After a warm bath and delicious food, life felt perfect. Once they finished dessert and drinks, Ju-an collapsed onto the sofa. Se-yoon sat beside him and gently lifted Ju-an’s head onto his lap.

Se-yoon quietly studied Ju-an’s face, half-lidded with drowsiness. Somehow, this didn’t feel like the night he’d originally planned.

His intention had been to relax Ju-an completely with a bath and massage, dress him in the stylish clothes he’d prepared beforehand, and take him to the fancy restaurant he’d reserved. But Ji-chan’s absurdly good cooking had ruined everything.

Still, looking at Ju-an now, fresh from the shower, soft and warm, his chest muscles peeking through the loose robe, Se-yoon found himself thinking staying home was even better.

How could simply looking at someone make him this happy? He felt like he could stare at Ju-an all night and never get tired of it.

“Se-yoon.”

At the sudden call, Se-yoon jolted slightly.

“Yes?”

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