Chapter 61: Long Answer

The amount was so large that vegetables crammed onto the unusually large meat patties were spilling out.

He wondered how on earth the order had been placed to produce such a hamburger.

It was a hamburger more than 1.5 times larger than usual.

Bodam picked up and ate one french fry of each ordered type.

Lee Tae Hwan, sitting opposite him at the guest table, did not touch the late-night snack.

He only busily emptied the cola that Bodam wasn’t drinking.

The overly generous hamburger filled his stomach after only eating half of it.

His mouth corners were numb from opening his mouth so wide.

As a full Bodam put down the half-eaten hamburger, Lee Tae Hwan, who had been quietly watching, opened his mouth.

“Eat it all.”

“No.”

At the sharp, immediate reply, Lee Tae Hwan just chugged cola again.

It was their first conversation since he had bought the hamburgers.

As food suddenly entered him, Bodam, whose upper belly had protruded, leaned back on the sofa and looked for water.

As he tried to pick up the water bottle placed right in front of him, Lee Tae Hwan snatched it and opened the cap for him.

‘Crazy bastard.’

Bodam, who roughly snatched the water bottle, almost overflowing with water, gulped it down.

Tae Hwan, who had been quietly watching that sight, also drank cola, following Bodam.

Even chewing on ice, his throat burned.

“You said you missed me?”

“Pffft.”

Lee Tae Hwan, who had spat out cola, coughed.

Fortunately, his head had been turned to the side, so only the sofa got dirty.

“Were you high?”

Bodam asked.

It was a question they always asked each other in Attack Team 3 whenever anything happened.

He had never actually seen them do drugs.

Even without taking anything, they seemed like crazy bastards high on drugs.

“……”

Bodam, rubbing his full belly, glared at Lee Tae Hwan.

He watched, dumbfounded, as Lee Tae Hwan took out tissue to wipe his mouth, avoiding his gaze.

The most absurd thing was that this bastard, who was the second loudest after Min Ji Oh, was keeping his mouth shut and not even making excuses.

He needed an excuse for that bullshit about missing him.

Even a common excuse like sending the message to the wrong person would be fine.

“Nothing to say?”

He graciously gave Lee Tae Hwan, who had personally made a spine-chilling text mistake, a chance to explain himself.

However, he only talked around the subject.

“…Sorry.”

“…For what?”

“Everything.”

In the end, Lee Tae Hwan, unable to meet his gaze, slowly lowered his head towards the floor.

Bodam’s hand, which had been rubbing his stomach, tightened.

“Speak clearly.”

‘Everything’ was a very insincere apology to be dismissed so easily.

Bodam wanted to hear the exact reason for his apology.

What exactly was he so sorry for?

Was he feeling so guilty that he held him and cried?

After hearing it all, he wanted to ask one last thing.

‘Why now?’

“Acting like trash… and not taking care of you.”

Lee Tae Hwan, who met his cold brown eyes for a moment before looking away, continued.

“…Just everything.”

He had never apologized before, so it was agonizing.

In a mood that felt crazy enough to make his heart pound, he spoke whatever came to mind.

He had certainly accumulated things he wanted to say during the slowly passing time.

But facing Yoon Bodam now, his mind was completely blank.

“For hurting you.”

Lee Tae Hwan, whose voice trailed off with “sorry,” pulled at the back of his neck.

His muscles tightened from a tension he had never felt in his life.

Even after emptying three cans of cola, no more words came from his parched mouth.

He even wondered if it would have been better to just stay silent.

The more he spoke, the darker Yoon Bodam’s expression became.

It was a terrible apology, even as he uttered it.

He didn’t even know how to properly apologize in the first place.

In the stifling silence where one minute felt like an hour, Lee Tae Hwan, over 190 cm tall, seemed much smaller than Bodam.

All his nerves were focused on Bodam’s silently moving hand.

At the sight of him just rubbing his stomach without a word, Tae Hwan felt like the cola he had drunk would come back up.

Amidst all this, he also worried that Yoon Bodam might tell him to leave.

He didn’t want to leave.

If he were told to get lost, he would open the door and leave, but he didn’t want to.

If only he could stay by his side, he would do anything.

As this thought reached him, Lee Tae Hwan truly felt the cola coming up.

It was a feeling that gave him goosebumps even as he felt it himself.

“Are you disappointed because I’m gone?”

After a long silence, Bodam’s voice, when he finally spoke, was sharp.

“Do you feel empty now that the easy-to-handle guy is gone?”

Tae Hwan closed his mouth.

He took the verbal jabs Bodam threw without dodging.

Even if he had thrown the leftover hamburger, he would have shut up and taken it.

He knew now.

He wasn’t confused either.

Once he faced his terrifying emotions, he naturally yielded.

He only wished Yoon Bodam wouldn’t tell him to leave.

He didn’t care if he was hit, stepped on, or had cola poured on him.

“Please.”

“Lee Tae Hwan, you told me to leave.”

“……”

“Because of you, my medical bills were super expensive.”

To Bodam, who had tried his best to adapt to Attack Team 3, Tae Hwan had cursed at him to leave every time their eyes met.

He had threatened him almost every day, telling him to politely leave when told.

He couldn’t even make a peep to his peer and walked with silent footsteps, then got stomach cramps in just one day.

Since then, he had lived on medication for indigestion and sleep disorders.

As if Tae Hwan’s words sowed seeds, the tyranny of Min Ji Oh and Kang Yi Jun, which didn’t stop at mere words, followed.

Lee Tae Hwan was the beginning of everything.

A bad bastard who toyed with people with inconsistent kindness.

“I won’t do that again.”

‘Look at him now.’

“I’ll never do it again from now on.”

Even if he apologized so sincerely, he could change again at any time.

So, he had to vent his anger now, enough to quench the burning rage inside him.

Before that bastard’s true personality resurfaced.

“Are you crazy? There is no ‘from now on’.”

With nothing more to throw, he kicked the table with his foot.

“Damn it.”

His instep was numb from kicking without controlling his strength.

Enduring the throbbing sensation that made his eyes water, he fueled his anger again.

‘What do you mean, ‘from now on’?’

‘From now on…’

“Ha.”

Bodam, who let out a hollow laugh, clutched his stomach.

‘Those bastards must know everything.’

“You must have been happy to hear about the natural imprinting.”

‘That’s why he’s spouting that bullshit about ‘from now on.’

“It must have been so funny to see the guy who left on his own crawling back.”

Bodam, hunched over, let out a deep, wet sigh.

He had no strength to lift his head, which had dropped towards the floor.

His body suddenly sank heavily.

It was so heavy, as if he would fall asleep at any moment.

“That’s not true.”

Lee Tae Hwan’s voice, now closer to Bodam, continued.

“I never liked that.”

He was sincere.

Of course, he had never smiled seeing Bodam return to the Center.

All Tae Hwan felt was a burning, nauseating emotion.

The fact that Kang Yi Jun and Yoon Bodam were suspected of imprinting and had their senses connected kept him from sleeping.

Because of that, Yoon Bodam was trapped in the hospital room, wasting away.

Just thinking about that day when he was throwing up blood in his arms, really…

Lee Tae Hwan, whose fists were clenched so tightly that his veins bulged, gritted his teeth.

If he raised his voice any more, it seemed Yoon Bodam’s mood would sink further.

The only thought he could manage in his blank mind was how not to be kicked out.

He wanted to be next to him.

He felt relieved only if he could keep his eyes on that weak body, which might collapse at any moment.

As this thought reached him, Lee Tae Hwan truly felt the cola coming up.

It was a feeling that gave him goosebumps even as he felt it himself.

“Why?”

Bodam, who was hunched over so much his upper body almost touched his knees, faintly asked.

‘Why are you holding on?’

“When you don’t even treat me well.”

His tears, which had dried up after entering the Center, now welled up again.

His tear ducts, which used to open easily even when looking at old family photos at home, had now reopened.

A resentment that wouldn’t diminish no matter how much he spewed it out, burst forth.

He suddenly understood why Lee Tae Hwan used to sarcastically call him a crybaby.

He had cried a lot, especially in front of Lee Tae Hwan.

Every time he cried, Lee Tae Hwan appeared; sometimes he appeared just before he cried, and sometimes he made him cry.

There were many times he would curse so much that his tears would retreat, but the opposite also happened.

“You just, hic, just torment, hic, me…”

Very occasionally, when he couldn’t stop crying even while cursing, a hesitant hand approached him.

It roughly supported the back of his head and made him lift it.

“I’m sorry.”

He hadn’t apologized like this before, but there were days when he wiped away his tears.

It was so rare that he had forgotten it.

He hadn’t even intentionally held onto the kindness he showed.

“You dis, you utterly ignore people… ugh, hic, and embarrass me in front of everyone…”

Lee Tae Hwan, who lightly pushed the table away with one hand, knelt down to the floor.

He knelt so he could see Bodam’s lowered face.

Carefully closing the distance, he also raised his arm.

He placed his hand on the face from which tears were falling like in a cartoon.

To the kindness he showed very occasionally, he added an apology he had never uttered before, repeating it.

He sounded annoyingly sincere.

“I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

His voice, slowly emphasizing each syllable, trembled slightly.

He wondered if the one kneeling there now was really Lee Tae Hwan.

Feeling the touch of the rough hand wiping away his endlessly falling tears, it indeed was Lee Tae Hwan.

His hands were full of calluses embedded there even before he became an Esper.

They were old traces that even an Esper’s regenerative ability couldn’t remove.

Bodam, clutching his stomach tightly and sobbing, mumbled furiously.

He spewed out words until his throat was bright red.

He angrily asked why he was acting like this now.

Even if Kang Yi Jun was linked by matching rate, he wondered if Lee Tae Hwan had been shot in the head.

Did he think everything would be fine if he suddenly knelt and begged for forgiveness like this?

My insides were all messed up from half a year with them.

‘What do you take me for?’

“I like you.”

Lee Tae Hwan said.

“I like you. Yoon Bodam.”

His face, as red as Bodam’s throat, was filled with regret.

It was regret for the past time and regret for the situation of making this confession now.

That was the only answer he could give to Yoon Bodam, who was crying and asking why he was holding on to him.

There was nothing else.

“I li—.”

“Ugh.”

Bodam covered his mouth.

The abdominal pain that had been throbbing slightly even before he ate the hamburger worsened.

His stomach churned as greasy flour and Lee Tae Hwan’s bullshit entered a body that couldn’t even keep porridge down properly.

Just as Lee Tae Hwan revealed his true feelings, Bodam also answered by emptying everything that filled his insides.

“Bleaaargh.”

A rather long answer followed.