Chapter 19: An Unwavering Heart

My life with Taewoon was generally difficult, but good memories also began to accumulate one by one.

When we shared everyday stories, when I discovered an unexpected side to him, when I saw him trying to take care of me even though his words were cold, and when I saw the small gifts he had prepared for me, my heart warmed.
Before I knew it, he had seeped into my daily life.

My feelings for him remained unchanged.
They were my own emotions, but emotions weren’t something I could erase or create at will.

He also seemed to have gotten used to living with me, as he no longer kept his distance and began to treat me comfortably.

They said affection grows through guiding, and it seemed he had also developed some fondness for me.

My wish these days was to spend peaceful days with him, just like now.

On Sundays, I only did physical training in the morning and rested from guiding training, so I relaxed at home from the afternoon.
My phone was filled with messages from Guides I had befriended, asking me to come out, but I wanted to rest today, so I declined and took care of the flowers in the greenhouse.
The daffodil bulb he had given me as a gift bloomed every year.
When my birthday approached, it would start to grow, and when the flowers bloomed, I would go to see my mother.

I looked at the sprouted daffodil for a while, then spent a leisurely time surfing on my tablet PC.

I was sitting on the sofa, browsing the guide community.
Lately, there was a lot of talk among guides about a bracelet that was in vogue.
It was a bracelet that was said to deepen affection when an Esper and a Guide wore it together.
There were many stories that were clearly advertisements, but I became interested because there were guides who had seen effects.

I thought about getting a matching bracelet with him, but then I thought it would still be difficult and was smiling bitterly.
The door to my room opened, and he appeared in the living room.

“Lee Shinui, what are you doing?”

He, also bored of being home alone, approached me and asked.

“I was just looking at something.”

Just in case, I showed him the tablet PC so he could see.
He came right up next to me and glanced at the screen.

“Awakened couple bracelets?”

As expected, he said in a sneering tone.
It was an expected reaction, but it still stung my heart.
There was no way he, who was neither my lover nor my friend, would get something matching with me as a couple.

In the end, I turned off the tablet PC screen, got up from the sofa, and said in a light tone.
I had become skilled at hiding my emotions now.

“I was just looking at it because there’s a lot of talk about it among guides lately.”

“Really?”

He said, looking at me with a suspicious expression.
At that, I said with my usual face.

“Yeah. Want to have lunch? The housekeeper made your favorite braised short ribs before she left.”

“I’ll eat.”

“Then wash up and come out. I’ll set the table.”

He went straight to the bathroom.
Watching him, I also slowly walked to the kitchen.
When I first learned about the bracelets, I had imagined us wearing them together.
But I still thought it would be difficult.

I was disappointed by his reaction, but I wasn’t sad.
For now, I was satisfied with just this life.
After all, for the past three years, I had been the only guide by his side.

When I opened my eyes, the project training was over.
I felt dizzier than usual, perhaps because the anesthesia was still wearing off.

I lay down for a long time until the dizziness subsided and then sat up.

Headaches had become more frequent since the beginning of this year.
Every time, I took the medicine prescribed by Dr. Yoon, but there was no sign of improvement.

When I pressed the call button to signal the end of guiding, Dr. Yoon and his assistant entered the project room.

“You worked hard today too.”

His assistant removed the electrodes attached to my body one by one.

But I couldn’t come to my senses due to the headache that still weighed heavily on my head.
I pressed my temples firmly with my palms and said.

“Doctor, I think my headaches have gotten worse lately. And my muscle spasms are more frequent too.”

“Is it so severe that you can’t bear it?”

“Yes. Even now, my whole head feels like it’s ringing.”

The number of times I woke up from sleep due to the sudden headaches and spasms was now too many to count on two hands.

“I’ll prescribe you more medicine.”

“I understand…”

I had already gotten another medicine last week, and I was worried if my body could handle it if I added another one this time.
The medicine was strong, so when I took it, I was either dazed all day or slept for a long time.

But I had to suppress the symptoms of unknown cause with medicine, so I had no choice but to force the numerous pills down my throat.

“It’s a temporary phenomenon and not dangerous, so don’t be afraid.”

“Yes.”

I was a little relieved when he said it was okay.
But my body’s condition was not normal, so I was still worried.

After all the electrodes were removed, I said goodbye to him and moved to the changing room.

My legs had no strength, so I walked, leaning against the wall.
Even after thinking deeply about my physical condition, it still seemed to be because I had been training excessively.
I was worried if my body could hold out until the upcoming promotion test.

As if to confirm my fears, my vision suddenly spun, and I couldn’t keep my balance.
The moment I barely regained my balance, something started flowing from my nose.
I wiped my nose, but it didn’t stop.
When I sniffed, I tasted something metallic and looked down at my hand to see blood.

I blocked my nose with a handkerchief from my inner pocket and was about to hurry to the bathroom, but a ringing sound pierced through my brain, and I fell to the floor.
My body wouldn’t move, as if it were paralyzed.

I wanted to call for help, but my body started to convulse, and my throat tightened, suffocating me.

Fortunately, I heard a voice calling my name from behind.

“Guide Shinui!”

But soon, the voice was also drowned out by the ringing, and my whole body began to tremble abnormally.
My vision turned yellow, then white, repeatedly, and then my consciousness faded and was cut off.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw Taewoon.
Just having him by my side put my mind at ease.
I realized I was relying on him more than I thought.

“You’re awake?”

I nodded and tried to sit up, but I felt a sharp headache again.
When I frowned, he laid me back down on the bed.

“Just lie down.”

At his words, I looked around.
It was a place I had never seen before.
But I recognized it was a hospital from the medical bed and the patient monitor.

“A hospital?”

“Yeah, the Center hospital. You collapsed yesterday.”

My last memory was the hallway floor.
It seemed I had finally collapsed due to the abnormal symptoms in my body.

“Can you move your body?”

At his words, I moved my fingers and legs.
Fortunately, they moved as usual.

“Yeah. But my head hurts a little.”

He asked about my physical condition for a while, then called a doctor.
Not long after, a doctor came to the hospital room.
He checked my condition and said.

“I think you’ll need to stay in the hospital for two days so we can monitor your progress. Looking at your condition, it seems you’ve had symptoms for a while. When did they start?”

“I think it was from the beginning of this year. My head would get dizzy and I’d feel sick after training. It was the same when I guided.”

“For the time being, it would be best to refrain from training and also from guiding.”

The doctor said he would let me rest today and start the tests tomorrow, then left.

After the doctor left, I remembered how I had been training so hard.
I had trained for three years without a single day of rest, and this year, I had increased my training time even more for the promotion.

I had thought it was strange that nothing had happened for three years, but my body might have been breaking down already.
But Dr. Yoon had said it was okay…

After the doctor left, a meal with a balanced mix of nutrients was placed in front of me.
I had no appetite, but I couldn’t take medicine on an empty stomach, so I had to eat something.

I picked up my spoon, but my hand wouldn’t move properly.
When I kept fumbling even when trying to eat, he picked up the chopsticks himself.

“I’ll feed you, so just tell me what you want to eat.”

Feeling grateful for his consideration, I pointed at the side dishes with my hand.
Every time he picked up a side dish and brought it to my mouth, I was so happy with this situation that a happy laugh was about to come out.
How nice would it be if he were always this kind?

“You eat well.”

“Mmm.”

I mumbled and studied his face.
His face was filled with concern for me.

“Don’t make me worry.”

“Mmm.”

He put another side dish in my mouth.
I ate it and nodded.

Seeing the indifferent Taewoon worrying and taking care of me, I wanted to believe that he liked me a little.

I thought he would go back after I finished eating, but he said he would stay in my hospital room tonight, perhaps because he was worried about me.

He even brought an auxiliary bed and fell asleep next to me.
I watched his face, sleeping peacefully next to me not for guiding but just normally, until I felt sleepy, and then I also fell asleep.
Tonight, both my body and mind were so comfortable.