Chapter 86: A Calculated Cruelty

“I’m happy just that you accepted, Shinui-ssi.”

At Sehyun’s words, a sense of guilt rose from within me, but I suppressed it and looked away.
I couldn’t meet his gaze and just nodded.
And I looked for Hyun Taewoon, but he was nowhere to be seen, as if he had hidden himself.

“Can I hug you?”

“Yes.”

No sooner had I answered than he took me into his arms.
Even with the bouquet in my arms, I was completely enveloped in his embrace.
Being like this felt strange.
It might have been because no one other than my mother had ever held me like this.

The hug I had wished for from him was being fulfilled through him, and my stomach churned, and my heart felt heavy.

“Being like this, I feel like I have the whole world.”

Unlike him, I didn’t feel like I had the whole world.
Still, I hoped that in the future, I would also feel the same way as he did.

“I’ll try to make you like me.”

“Me too…. And can you keep our meeting a secret? The Association or the government won’t look favorably on it.”

I said, slightly pulling my body away from him.
He must have had the same thought, as he nodded.

“I understand. I’ll do as you wish.”

“Thank you.”

“But are you going to stay at the Association?”

“To be honest, I want to live like a civilian, without belonging to anywhere.”

At my words, he was silent for a moment as if thinking, and then he soon opened his lips.

“I think it would be possible if you hide your guide identity.”

“Is that possible?”

“Yes. I’ve seen it before. I’ll look into it in detail and let you know again.”

“I feel like I’m always just imposing on you.”

“Not at all. Shall we take a walk for a bit? I’m a little conscious of the fact that this is an Association building.”

He said, looking at the apartment entrance.
When I followed his gaze, I saw the apartment manager looking at us.

I took his arm and led him towards the walking path.
Walking with him felt strangely awkward today.
It wasn’t like this before, but it seemed to be because of the thought that we were dating.

“You’re 23 this year, right?”

“Yes. What about you?”

From his rank, I had a rough idea that he was older than me, but I couldn’t guess his exact age.

“I’m 30. Since there’s a 7-year difference, I feel like a cradle robber.”

“It’s not to the point of being a cradle robber.”

“Instead, I’ll do better.”

He smiled, a grin on his face.
At that, my tension eased, and I was also able to return to my usual self.

After chatting for a while in a comfortable atmosphere, as the day grew darker, he took me back to the front of my house.

“Can we meet again tomorrow?”

“I think the same time as today would be fine.”

“Then I’ll come again tomorrow. You must be tired, so get some rest.”

“You too, drive carefully at night and get home soon.”

Before he left, he seemed to want to hug me, but in the end, he just waved and went back to his car.
Watching him, I kept wondering if accepting his confession was the right thing to do.
But I also needed a turning point.
At this rate, I wouldn’t be able to get out of the box that he and the Association had created.

I was heading to the elevator after passing through the lobby when I blatantly felt his wavelength.
When I turned around, he, who had been out of sight for a while, had revealed himself and was standing there.

I was surprised by his sudden appearance, but since it was a situation I had already expected, I wasn’t flustered.

“What.”

“Are you dating that government guy?”

He asked with a flushed face, unlike usual.
It was the anxious look I had wanted, but because of my guilt towards him, I wasn’t entirely happy.

“Eavesdropping is a bad hobby.”

“That’s not important right now! Why are you dating a government guy? Do you really like him or something?”

However, it was the first time I had seen him so agitated since the regression.
The moment I affirmed it, I even felt a slight sense of exhilaration.

“I’m dating him because I like him.”

“Shinui, don’t do that.”

At my words, he contorted his face as if in pain and shook his head from side to side.

He had said he would suffer as much as I had, but in reality, there was nothing for him to suffer from, so I wanted to create it myself.

“I don’t want to. Why should I listen to you?”

“I can cherish you more than that guy.”

No matter how much he cherished me and treated me well, my heart would never turn to him.

“I don’t need it. And don’t try to interfere under the pretext of protecting me. I’m not the foolish Lee Shinui you used to know.”

He was still frowning as if he were about to cry, but he soon said with a determined face.

“Break up with that government guy.”

“Who are you to tell me?”

“Because I don’t like it. If you don’t break up, I’ll make you break up one way or another.”

“Hyun Taewoon, don’t you think you’ve crossed the line?”

“I don’t think so. Break up if you don’t want to see one of us die.”

A dry laugh escaped me at his words.
Yes, this was the self-centered and selfish Hyun Taewoon I knew.

“You know that the more you do this, the more my rebellious spirit grows, right?”

“…Are you perhaps dating that government guy because of me?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Do you dislike me that much?”

“Would you like it if you were me?”

I said, staring straight into his eyes.
His eyes were already red and trembling.
A face I could never have seen before returning to the past.

I might have returned to the past just to see this face.

I soon ignored him and got on the elevator.
Fortunately, he did not follow and stood still in that spot.

It seemed he was more shocked than I thought that I was dating him.
But it was a sight that I didn’t need to care about.
Right now, I just wished that he would be in pain.

I was doing guiding training when I felt his wavelength.
When I looked at the monitoring room, I saw his figure next to Jinseok.

As soon as his eyes met mine, he folded his eyes beautifully and waved his hand.
At that sight, my brow furrowed.

‘Why did he come.’

I tried to avoid his gaze as much as possible and finished my training.
When I came out, he greeted me.

“Shinui-ssi!”

“What are you doing here?”

“I came because I wanted to see you. And to give you this.”

He handed me a paper bag.
When I looked inside, there was a dessert from my favorite confectionery, packaged in a case.
The fact that he had chosen this place among the many confectioneries didn’t seem like a coincidence.

“How did you know I liked this?”

“I saw you eating it when we lived together before.”

I had never thought that he would have paid attention, so I was surprised and bluntly said thank you.

“Thank you.”

“Let’s go and eat dessert together next time.”

“If I have time.”

Unlike usual, a peaceful atmosphere flowed between him and me.
Jinseok looked at us with a curious face, and then, after giving feedback on today’s training, he said let’s wrap it up.

At his words, I was cleaning up the training room, and he also helped.
I could definitely feel that he was different from before, but that didn’t make me feel any forgiveness or fondness for him.

As the cleaning was about to end, the door opened, and Wonjae came in.

“Hyung!”

He called me and was walking briskly towards me when he saw him in the training room and froze.
He looked at him and said.

“You’ll die soon even if I don’t kill you.”

“What did you say?”

As I looked at him, who had suddenly uttered such ominous words, he was looking at him with dry eyes.

“Ask him what he’s been up to these days.”

For a moment, his words to me before I returned to the past came to mind.

‘Your body is full of electric currents. You’ll break down if you continue like this.’

“Then I’ll be on my way.”

He must have known that he didn’t think highly of him, as he left the training room as if to avoid the situation.
As soon as he was gone, he approached me as if he had been waiting.

“Why is he here?”

“He just came. Anyway, are you okay these days?”

“Of course I’m okay.”

“Dr. Yoon is still in charge of your training, right?”

He, who had been listening to our conversation, stopped cleaning and quickly approached us and asked.

“Dr. Yoon’s training?”

“It’s nothing.”

He hurriedly shook his head and said it was nothing, but that seemed to have aroused his suspicion instead.

“Don’t hide it and tell me in detail.”

I knew he was particularly sensitive about matters with him, so I was taken aback.

“It’s not something to be taken lightly. Guide Wonjae, please tell me. What kind of training are you doing with him.”

He looked at him with a troubled face, but he continued to press him.
I thought it was a good opportunity.
If I persuaded him with him, he might be able to get him to quit the training.

“I told you I can’t tell you.”

“Wonjae, why are you continuing the training?”

“Because I want to stay with you, hyung.”

“We’re already together.”

“But we can never be separated if we’re imprinted.”

He said in a small voice that only I could hear.
But his voice was trembling.
He looked so precarious that I grabbed his wrist.
I had told him I would be his exclusive if he became an Esper, but now, I thought that if I told him the truth, he would also give up the training.

“Wonjae, I have no intention of imprinting even if you become an Esper.”

“Why…?”

“How can a brother and a brother be imprinted? I can’t do that.”

At my words, his face hardened as if in shock.
I didn’t feel good seeing his face, but I said it so that he could understand well.

“I think of you as my real younger brother. We can’t be together forever, but I’ll always be on your side.”

He no longer answered my words.
He still seemed to have a fear of being left alone.
I was worried about him, but I thought he would have understood my words.

After a while of silence, he, who seemed to have grasped the situation to some extent from our conversation, said with a firm face.

“Guide Wonjae, I need to talk to you.”

Knowing that Jinseok would be better at persuading him than I was, I moved aside.
His words were shocking, but I thought it was because he was still young, and I hoped Wonjae would change his mind after talking with him and quit the training.