Chapter 38: A Dilemma of Proximity

Quan Haoqing cast a surprised glance at Ye Qingfeng, who stood beside him.

‘When exactly did your self-awareness reach such heights?’ he mused.

‘And become so… proactive?’

The old cultivator, now completely at ease, declared, “Then this old man can finally put his worries to rest.”

A faint smile graced Quan Haoqing’s lips as he stepped closer to Ye Qingfeng, gently taking her hand once more.

Ye Qingfeng offered a nearly imperceptible struggle, so subtle that Quan Haoqing barely registered it.

“Then we shall take our leave,” Quan Haoqing announced. “Until next time.”

“Indeed,” the old man replied, his voice trailing off. “Until… next time.”

As the old cultivator watched them depart, his heavily wrinkled eyelids slowly descended.

In a fleeting moment of reverie, he seemed to glimpse the faces of his wife and children from days long past, but the harsh grip of reality swiftly reclaimed his vision.

Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet and ambled towards the deeper recesses of his shop.

“This time, I must prepare with utmost care,” he murmured.

****

Quan Haoqing and Ye Qingfeng, their hands still intertwined, walked away from the old cultivator’s gaze.

They left behind the bustling street frequented only by cultivators, and eventually, they even exited Fengcheng Town, yet their hands remained steadfastly clasped.

Ye Qingfeng remained utterly silent, her mind still adrift in a daze, as if unable to shed the identity of Quan Haoqing’s fiancée.

For his part, Quan Haoqing was utterly engrossed in this newfound joy, unwilling to utter a single word that might shatter the delicate illusion.

“Hey,” Ye Qingfeng suddenly interjected. “Is that enough?”

Her voice cut through the quiet.

Quan Haoqing paused, a flicker of confusion crossing his face. “What do you mean?” he inquired.

“Sigh.”

Ye Qingfeng lifted their joined hands, still firmly locked together.

“Can you let go now?” she asked, a hint of exasperation in her tone. “Honestly, my hand is getting quite clammy from being held so tightly.”

Ye Qingfeng had considered trying to free herself, but Quan Haoqing’s grip felt like an unbreakable cage, holding her firmly captive.

“Ah, my apologies,” Quan Haoqing quickly responded, a sheepish smile spreading across his face. “I seem to have gotten a bit carried away.”

He swiftly withdrew his hand, casting an embarrassed glance at Ye Qingfeng.

The claim of sweaty palms was a mere pretense; that delicate, small hand had rested in his palm the entire time, its cool, smooth texture something he was intimately aware of.

Yet, the fact that Ye Qingfeng had only now mentioned it was, in itself, a delightful surprise.

Ye Qingfeng flexed her wrist, inwardly sighing. She had intended to wait for Quan Haoqing to release her hand on his own, but the man evidently possessed not an ounce of self-awareness.

“Hey, you wouldn’t possibly be…” she began, her voice trailing off.

Even with her usual obtuseness, a peculiar feeling had begun to settle over her.

Having previously viewed herself as male, she had been oblivious, but since yesterday’s reminder, her perspective had started to shift, aligning more with her female form.

A jolt went through Quan Haoqing’s heart. Despite his usual boldness, he instinctively averted his gaze, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“Are you… coveting my body?”

‘Hiss,’ Quan Haoqing thought, a wry smile playing on his lips. ‘Such predatory words. It truly is Ye Qingfeng, always so direct, straightforward, and utterly unambiguous.’

Quan Haoqing gazed at Ye Qingfeng, a hint of helplessness in his eyes, only to find her studying him with a peculiar intensity, devoid of any discernible fear or repulsion.

‘Surely, this must be a good sign,’ he mused.

Considering the inherent peril of the question, he ventured cautiously, “If I were to answer yes, you would most likely deem me a beast. If I were to answer no, you would probably accuse me of not being a man. So, is there perhaps a standard answer I might consult?”

Ye Qingfeng narrowed her eyes, much like a seashell retracting a lustrous, iridescent pearl into its depths.

Naturally, there was no standard answer to such a question.

Even if Quan Haoqing were to sacrifice his pride and respond negatively, she wouldn’t believe him for a second; did he truly take her for a fool?

‘How terrifying,’ she thought. ‘Truly worthy of being my fated enemy. Even with a different body, even having avoided a disastrous first encounter, he still manages to become an adversary I must regard with utmost vigilance, albeit from a new perspective.’

‘Should I draw a clear line between us right here?’

Had this been her former self, she would have already been meticulously planning her escape.

Yet, the current plan was already halfway complete; abandoning it now would be an immense waste.

Ye Qingfeng found herself ensnared in a profound dilemma, her facial expressions shifting with bewildering rapidity.

Quan Haoqing observed her silently from the side, choosing not to intervene.

He was acutely aware that a misstep in this delicate situation could very well lead to their paths diverging permanently.

He knew, too, that a simple declaration of disinterest in Ye Qingfeng, or a promise not to make a move, would likely resolve the immediate tension.

But he found himself unwilling to utter those words. To do so would mean that any future pursuit would have to resort to less conventional, perhaps even disingenuous, methods.

He would take a gamble, betting on the weight he currently held in Ye Qingfeng’s estimation.

Ye Qingfeng felt a profound sense of bewilderment. Initially, a wave of nausea had indeed washed over her, but with the return of her rationality, she confronted an undeniable truth: with her current visage, it was virtually impossible not to stir certain thoughts in others.

This wasn’t narcissism; she herself had almost been captivated by her reflection when she first gazed into a mirror.

‘Must I disfigure myself?’

The thought was repugnant, and she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Despite her usual disdain for her feminine appearance, the prospect of facing the world with a face so ugly it repelled both men and spirits was a decision she simply couldn’t make.

Quan Haoqing might be the first to harbor such feelings for her, but he would assuredly not be the last.

She was no sheltered maiden, ignorant of the world’s harsh realities; she was keenly aware of the treachery inherent in human hearts.

After the incident involving Liang Tong’s ambush, her vigilance against human nature had reached an unprecedented peak.

Now, with her strength diminished and her beauty blossomed, the likelihood of encountering individuals with nefarious intentions had dramatically increased.

Yet, to cease all human interaction because of this would condemn a Rogue Cultivator like herself to a path of nightmarish difficulty.

Within a sect, a cultivator might remain cloistered for years, yet still receive a steady stream of spirit stones and readily available cultivation techniques.

However, for a Rogue Cultivator striving for advancement, engaging with others was an unavoidable necessity.

Her current personality and deep-seated psychological scars were not something she could overcome in a mere moment, nor could she simply declare herself unbothered and truly be so.

Quan Haoqing, however, was currently the sole individual who, despite her evident awkwardness, persisted in approaching her.

What made him even more remarkable was his capacity for restraint. His affection was not so overwhelming as to be unbearable; upon realizing her lack of self-awareness as a woman, he didn’t seek to take advantage but instead promptly alerted her.

Putting aside the tribulations of the past, Ye Qingfeng found interacting with him quite comfortable.

He was capable, well-liked, and possessed a gentle disposition.

As long as their close relationship remained as it was, without developing further, everything would be fine.

In the future, she should minimize instances of pretending to be his wife. Ye Qingfeng even suspected that her excessive indulgence was gradually transforming Quan Haoqing from a good friend into a ‘beast’.

Furthermore, she would later need Quan Haoqing to help her connect with reliable partners, assist in discerning who was worth befriending, and even aid her in strategizing…

‘Hiss,’ she thought, a prickle of unease. ‘Something isn’t quite right. Am I becoming a little too reliant on Quan Haoqing in my future plans?’

Ye Qingfeng looked up at Quan Haoqing with a touch of frustration, sighing at her own predicament.

‘How can one be so utterly lazy? In this state, you’ll be taken advantage of sooner or later.’

‘So, relying on him a bit in the early stage should be fine. Yes, just relying on him in the early stage before my psychological issues are resolved, and then I won’t rely on him anymore.’

‘Uh, why does that sound so much like a scoundrel, a ‘scum woman’?’

‘Is it a bit too much to use someone and then cast them aside?’

‘Stop, stop, stop!’

‘What are you thinking so much about now, Ye Qingfeng!’

‘You need to protect yourself first before you can even consider repaying others. At worst, I’ll just find him a suitable wife later!’

After agonizing for most of the day, Ye Qingfeng finally broke free from her heavy thoughts.

Suddenly, she noticed that the surrounding scenery was vastly different from before. Replacing the twilight sunset, the bright moonlight covered the earth, and under the starry night sky, cheerful insect chirps played the symphony of their time.

In just a moment of distraction, it had already turned from dusk to night.

She instinctively asked, “How long was I lost in thought?”

“About half an hour.”

Receiving the answer without surprise, Ye Qingfeng turned to look at the man who had been steadfastly by her side. She hadn’t noticed before, but now, looking closely, she realized how tall he was; she even had to strain to look up to see his face clearly.

“You’ve been standing there watching all this time? Why didn’t you wake me?”

‘Because you’re also very cute when you’re troubled,’ Quan Haoqing silently spoke this sentence in his heart, but what he actually said was:

“Why would I wake you? Did you want me to wake you?”

Quan Haoqing lowered his head, his gaze meeting Ye Qingfeng’s without reservation.

But Ye Qingfeng, like a startled rabbit, quickly lowered her head and asked softly, “I didn’t particularly want to be woken up, I just feel like I wasted a lot of your time.”

Quan Haoqing took a deep breath, like a prisoner awaiting judgment, and said, “There’s as much time like this as we need. If you truly feel guilty, why not tell me the conclusion you reached after all that thought?”