Chapter 29: Campsis Flowers and Crimson Rationalizations

I wondered how so much food could fit into such a small frame. Tuna kimbap, original kimbap, and pork cutlet kimbap. I thought that would be more than enough to be filling, but then he added tempura udon to the order. What was even more impressive was that he finished every bit of it. In the snack bar where we arrived well past 4:00 PM, Song Yun Jae took his time, neatly polishing off almost the entire menu by himself by 6:00 PM.

Despite eating all that, he apparently still had room, as he led the way to the cafe we had first visited. When he looked at me after ordering a strawberry latte, I shook my head, so he added an Americano to the order. He didn’t even go to the table to drop off his bag; he stood guard at the counter and became busy the moment the drinks came out. However, the drinks he received were in disposable cups.

“I thought we were staying here to drink?”

At the sound of my voice, which was clearly flustered by the unexpected turn of events, he gave me a completely unrelated answer with a bright face.

“Should we go see the Campsis flowers?”

My confusion doubled, but it was impossible to argue logic or reason with Song Yun Jae. Seeing his expression, which was completely relaxed, I had to swallow the words I was about to say.

Since it was summer, the days were long. 6:30 PM. It wasn’t time for it to get dark yet, but it was the hour when the sky turned yellow before the sunset truly spread. If we headed out now and walked slowly, it would be the perfect time to see the Campsis flowers in the sunset-drenched alley again. Looking at him standing there loosely with a drink in each hand, a helpless laugh escaped me.

“Let’s go.”

Taking the iced Americano he handed me, we headed toward the alley filled with Campsis flowers.

The sun had dipped much lower than when we left school, so the heat wasn’t quite as back-stinging. Perhaps due to the late monsoon forecast for August, there was a hint of humidity, but it was bearable. But then, looking at his cardigan made me feel suffocated again. Feeling that frustration, I finally brought up the question I’d been hesitating to ask.

“Do you still have the bruises?”

The moment the words left my mouth, I felt like my timing was garbage. Especially when I saw a flicker of a sigh in Song Yun Jae’s eyes as he looked at me. Feeling awkward, I took a large gulp of my Americano. After a moment of silence, he spoke up.

“I’ve been sleeping well, eating well, and I haven’t been hit lately, so it’s healing fast.”

It’s only been a few days, he added, before taking a large sip of his strawberry latte and chewing. Watching his mouth work as he chewed on the strawberry preserves made me feel that familiar tickle—and the thought that he was quite, well, cute. Wait… cute?

“…F*ck.”

“Suddenly?”

The problem was that the thought of him being “cute” had occurred to me so naturally. The moment I became aware of that sentiment, my mind, which had been drifting all day, snapped into sharp focus. Song Yun Jae, with the straw still in his mouth, looked up at me with wide eyes.

“No, no. I didn’t mean you.”

“If it wasn’t me, were you swearing at yourself?”

“…Let’s just say that.”

“Cha Hyun Uk, you’re really strange today.”

Shaking his head as if he couldn’t understand me, he resumed his pace.

Even amidst the chaos in my head, the stimulation he provided remained constant and powerful.

Maybe it was because of the shock from yesterday. I felt dizzy realizing that I might accidentally blurt out these ridiculous thoughts out loud. Song Yun Jae, oblivious to the turmoil inside me, seemed to be in a particularly good mood.

“Are you in a good mood?”

“How did you know?”

This was another unexpected counter-question.

How did I know? I just saw it. The way he played with his feet, the way the corners of his eyes softened, the slight strength in the corners of his mouth… Every detail I noted was, in the end, a place where my gaze had lingered for a long time.

“…I just see it when I look at you.”

“That’s fascinating.”

Exactly. It was fascinating.

The fact that I had become so accustomed to his moods that I could read them at a glance. I used to think he was a simpleton whose inner thoughts were a mystery, but now his emotions filled my vision with transparency. The fact that I didn’t hate that was even stranger.

Maybe it was because of today, following right after yesterday. Silence kept stretching between us during the gaps in conversation. The thoughts filling those gaps weren’t well-organized. Yet, maintaining the silence didn’t feel right either.

“Why are you in such a good mood? Because the bruises are gone?”

My effort to keep the conversation going was admirable, but hasty. Was the simplicity of the question funny? He let out a soft, airy laugh.

“Just because.”

“…….”

“What about you? Why are you in a bad mood?”

Just as I took a wrong step and moved away from him, he quickly grabbed my arm. There was considerable strength in his firm grip. It was an amount of force I could have shaken off easily, but the unfamiliar strength in his hand made it feel like my stumbling was an urgent matter to him.

His hand dropped immediately. I walked in the direction he was heading as if nothing had happened. I could feel him glancing at me, waiting for an answer.

“I never said I was in a bad mood.”

“You’ve been in a bad mood all day.”

“…….”

“What is it? Is your father’s… legal wife giving you a hard time?”

I burst out laughing at his unexpected choice of words. His expression was dead serious. To think that that was what he’d come up with after careful consideration. It was hilarious that he’d used the exact expression I’d used to explain things to him before.

“Just look ahead.”

“Why are you laughing?”

“Look forward. The flowers you like are starting to show up.”

His gaze, which had been full of earnest question marks, snapped away from me. From the entrance of the alley, orange Campsis flowers were peeking over the walls. I stole a look at his face; that soft smile was back.

“…….”

“…….”

Neither of us seemed to have any intention of actually drinking our beverages. I slowed my pace to match his, which had become even more leisurely. The sun’s tilt had also become quite shallow. The sky, approaching the colors of sunset, and the flowers filling the alley were quite beautiful. I thought he was entirely captivated by the dense clusters of flowers, but he spoke up quietly.

“The fact that you came back here alone to take photos… that makes me happy.”

“…….”

“I’m grateful, and it makes me feel good… that’s just how it is.”

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is a big deal. It’s a first for me, something like that.”

His soft voice brushed against my ear. The way he pronounced “first” was so clear. I shouldn’t recklessly assign meaning to things, and I wasn’t even sure what kind of “first” he was talking about, but hearing that word in his voice made it feel like a big deal to me too.

“And you?”

“What about me.”

“Why are you in a bad mood?”

We were about halfway through the alley. A little further and we’d reach the cafe where we’d had the tteokbokki and shaved ice. I decided to just stop walking. My heart tickled again as he stopped with me. The fact that he was reading my mood just as I was reading his made the back of my neck burn with a ticklish sensation.

“You’re being unfair. I told you mine—”

“Today is my mother’s birthday.”

It was because of this tickle that the story I’d been hesitating to tell suddenly burst out. A small gasp escaped him. A look of “oh no” briefly crossed his eyes before vanishing. I continued, pretending not to notice.

“My father is having another child.”

“…….”

“They showed me the ultrasound yesterday.”

“…….”

“They left the country today for a ‘celebration trip’ or whatever.”

Was it really such a simple story to summarize? A hollow laugh escaped me. It was nothing. I was being melodramatic over nothing. I brushed my bangs back in irritation.

“It’s nothing major. Now that I’ve said it, it’s even less of a—”

I was going to say it was no big deal. But the words were cut off by a hand gently stroking the back of my head. The fingers, carefully brushing over my hair, gradually dug deeper, leaving a tickling sensation behind. I could still feel a sense of hesitation in the fingers resting on my head, but the gesture was one of constant, soothing comfort.

“…….”

“…….”

I stood there frozen for a long time, unable to even look at him.

“…Should I give you a hug?”

Before he could even finish the sentence, I turned my gaze toward him. The area around Song Yun Jae’s eyes was flushed red. There was a shimmering look in his eyes. As if it were contagious, something surged up from deep within me in that moment.

All of this could be blamed on the ripening sunset. The face waiting for my answer without moving after offering a hug, the fact that I didn’t hate the pity he couldn’t quite hide, and the fact that I found even his cautious gestures to be so like him. Even his shimmering eyes and the state of my own heart. I could blame it all on the sky, dyed red like the Campsis flowers. With that rationalization, I impulsively grabbed the wrist that had been tickling the back of my head.

“…Ah…!”

With a thud, the strawberry latte in his hand—the ice already mostly melted—fell to the ground.