Chapter 13: The Itch Beneath the Skin

The sky was overcast today.

Through the window where the curtains were neatly drawn, a gray horizon stretched out. Beside it sat Song Yun Jae, wearing a cardigan that looked exceptionally white against the gloom. Since a while ago, I’d been consciously trying to stop myself from glancing toward his seat as if checking for something.

But whenever a gap appeared in my focus, my eyes drifted back to him.

I stole a look, then forced my eyes back to my textbook. I felt a flush of embarrassment over what I’d done first thing this morning.

After tossing and turning for two nights straight, I’d ended up leaving the house early two days in a row, arriving first in the classroom both times. With exams less than a week away, I should have just sat down and started studying, but the lack of sleep made my concentration scatter. Eventually, my gaze landed on his seat.

I knew that if the window stayed open, he’d end up in another quiet, frustrating battle with the fluttering curtains. I couldn’t tell if he did it on purpose just to annoy me, or if he was simply too stubborn to find a workaround even as June came to an end, but it irritated me regardless.

After a moment of deliberation, I tied back the curtain nearest his seat. I looped the cord high so it stayed fixed against the frame, then opened the remaining windows one by one.

This way, even if the windows were open and the fans were on, he wouldn’t have to fuss with them.

I told myself I did it for my own sake—so I wouldn’t have to feel suffocated watching him struggle.

I kept glancing at the neatly bundled curtain, pretending to just be turning my head. Even though I knew I’d tied it securely, I couldn’t help it. The sheer absurdity of my behavior was pushing me toward a flare of irritation.

Seriously, f*ck, I’m acting like a child. I brushed my bangs back with a self-deprecating sigh. I concluded that this was all the fault of two nights without proper sleep. I clicked my tongue subconsciously. That’s when it happened.

“Cha Hyun Uk, did you spend all night studying? You look properly pissed off.”

The voice cut through the classroom atmosphere, snapping me back to reality. Thanks to our homeroom teacher giving us self-study time before exams, we’d been working quietly throughout second period. I hadn’t even realized the period was ending because I was so lost in thought. Come to think of it, during those two hours, I’d looked at the windows, the curtains, and Song Yun Jae’s silhouette more than I’d looked at actual words.

I definitely had a screw loose. Without answering, I traced the edge of my open textbook. Then, a clear voice chimed in from the window.

“Cha Hyun Uk is sick, sir.”

It was Song Yun Jae. I glared at the source of the voice, but he didn’t even give me a look. Meanwhile, the teacher took the comment quite seriously, gripping the lectern with a concerned expression.

“You look so healthy, yet you’re sick often. Hyun Uk, if it’s too much, go to the infirmary, take some medicine, and lie down for a bit.”

“…I’m fine.”

“Yun Jae, take care of him like you did last time.”

“Yes, sir.”

His reply was cheerful. I looked at him again, wondering if he was mocking me, but once again, he didn’t even tilt his head toward my desk.

“Don’t slack off just because vacation is coming. Keep your focus on finals, everyone. Get ready for third period.”

“Yes, sir.”

Just like that, I’d been branded a weakling. And the person responsible for making me this way was sitting right over there.

I rolled my stiff neck from side to side. A satisfying crack echoed, and a cool sensation spread through my muscles. As I pulled out my third-period textbook, I stole another glance at him, but his eyes were fixed firmly on his desk.

Why don’t you just bury your head in the desk while you’re at it? It made sense since exams were around the corner, but he was likely still holding a grudge over getting caught by the dean yesterday while trying to skip. My sleep-deprived brain was hazy, but the image of his flustered eyes looking up at me after I’d pushed him away flashed vividly in my mind.

It was the most dramatic expression I’d ever seen from him.

Even after the milk carton incident, he’d acted thick-skinned, but the memory of his slightly parted lips and startled face was still fresh.

I shook my head violently. My thoughts were veering into strange territory.

*** As soon as the bell rang for the end of fourth period, I organized my desk while the other kids swarmed out of the classroom. My lack of sleep made it feel like my thoughts were uncontrollable. I was about to slump down to catch up on some rest when a sharp clack near my ear made me look up. It was the sound of a milk carton being placed on my desk.

“Hey, Traitor.”

A short laugh escaped me at his words. To ignore me all morning only to call me a traitor?

His brow twitched, seemingly offended by my incredulous laugh.

“Are you actually sick?”

“Why worry if a traitor is dying or not? You said I was a traitor.”

“At least drink the milk before you die.”

His expression was calm, but his tone was blunt as he gestured toward the milk. He added, almost like a mutter to himself, “It should be fine even if it’s been out for two hours. It’s cloudy today.” The guy’s words and actions never seemed to match.

I considered playing along but chose a sharper remark instead.

“This is why you shouldn’t do things you don’t usually do. If you’d just walked back to class with that sausage in your mouth, nothing would have happened.”

This time, his face went properly pouty. Just as I was wondering if he was even capable of such an expression, his face returned to its usual blankness. It was a fleeting moment.

“I did it because I was in a good mood. So what?”

His follow-up was unexpected. What could he possibly have been in a good mood about?

“Was the sausage really that good?”

“No. Because I made a friend.”

My already heavy head felt like it had been struck by a gong. Making people speechless with that face was his specialty. He hid his expressions so well, yet he never filtered his words.

Now I was the one who had to choose my words carefully.

In the meantime, he held out his hand.

“What.”

“Just give it to me now. If you give it to me, I’ll forgive you for betraying me.”

“What are you trying to extort now? Stop eating so much instant food.”

“Not that. You had ointment in your pants pocket yesterday. Right?”

This time, I was truly speechless. I couldn’t even pick a response.

“I felt something pressing against me and wondered what it was, but thinking about it at home yesterday, the size was exactly right.”

“…….”

“You felt bad, didn’t you? It’s okay. You’re going through puberty, too.”

“…Hey.”

“See. I told you. You’re a son of a b*tch, but not that much of one.”

He prattled on, calling me a son of a b*tch and a hormonal teenager, while wiggling his outstretched hand. He was telling me to hand it over quickly. I barely suppressed the instinctive urge to say I didn’t have it.

My uniform pants weren’t even that tight—how did he know? I was mortified.

And naturally, the image of our bodies pressed close enough for him to gauge what was in my pocket flashed through my mind. When I realized he must have replayed that moment at home too, that itch returned to my chest.

“Think how embarrassing it would be if I was wrong,” I replied, trying to sound as composed as possible.

“Is there anything left for me to be embarrassed about with you?”

His answer was unexpectedly refreshing. So much so that I felt a bit thrown. I scanned the empty classroom. How was this guy so incapable of a middle ground?

“Is everything all or nothing with you?”

“Better than it always being nothing.”

The corners of his mouth tilted up slightly. It was a smile I’d been seeing more often lately.

“I’m going to eat. Sleep well.”

While I struggled to find a comeback, the boy who’d demanded the ointment vanished from the classroom. The ointment was in my bag. I hadn’t even had the chance to pull it out.

The fifth-period bell rang shortly after, and I couldn’t focus on the lesson for the rest of the day.

A strange heat was spreading through me.

*** Finally, the first day of finals was over.

As the proctor collected the last papers and left, the quiet classroom erupted into noise. Even though only the first day had passed, the kids acted as if finals were completely over. Conversations about playing soccer after lunch or a quick game of StarCraft in the evening flew back and forth. It seemed like this chaos wouldn’t end until the homeroom teacher arrived.

Taking advantage of the commotion, I naturally cast my gaze toward his seat.

Song Yun Jae was already spreading out his books, likely preparing for tomorrow’s exams.

Since that day, he hadn’t asked me to apply the ointment. On sunny days, he’d bring me milk after second period or occasionally ask to go to the snack bar, but he had been busy with exam prep. He seemed more buried in his studies than usual. He wouldn’t even notice when the talkative guy hovered near him, and he’d spend the whole lunch break digging into his books with snack bar food just sitting on his desk—a departure from his usual self. Some days, his triangular kimbap and chocolate milk would remain untouched even after lunch was over.

Watching him, a question formed.

Why does he study that hard? Aside from his bothersome white cardigan, it was the first time I’d felt genuine curiosity about him. It didn’t seem like anyone was forcing him. He never once let out a sigh while solving problems. At least, not in any of the moments I remembered.

Does he find studying fun?

Is he crazy?

While those thoughts swirled, he must have felt my gaze because he suddenly whipped his head around. Our eyes met perfectly.

“Hey, Cha Hyun Uk.”

“Are you a tiger?”

“Huh?”

“Never mind.”

Song Yun Jae stood up. As he approached, I straightened my back. My upper body, which had been on the verge of slumping onto the desk, went rigid. Just as he got within a reasonable distance, he suddenly leaned down.

His scent intensified instantly, and I reflexively held my breath. All I could see was the pale skin of his neck.

“Apply the ointment for me,” he whispered in my ear.