Chapter 5: The Smell of Milk and Medicated Ointment

The milk, hurled toward the dirt ground, splattered in droplets like shrapnel from a bomb. As I wiped the milk off my cheek, the fishy scent clung to my skin. Song Yun Jae’s expression didn’t seem relieved, nor did it ripple with overflowing anger.

Even his shimmering pupils were now still.

He really knows how to endure. It makes me want to poke at him even more.

My fouled mood sank even deeper.

“…If you had one more, you should’ve just said so. Facing each other like this makes me feel even more like fcking sht than before.”

Milk I hadn’t managed to wipe away from my temple trickled down my jawline. Without avoiding my gaze, he spoke.

“I don’t know why you’re suddenly acting like this after not saying a single word for three months, but don’t mess with me just for your own amusement.”

A laugh broke out. He’s interesting, this guy. When did I ever mess with you? You’re the one who set up your thorns and lunged at me.

“Why didn’t you say that back in the classroom?”

“…What?”

“You’re doing this now when no one is around because you hate the idea of becoming a b*stard just like me, right? Isn’t that it?”

“…….”

“Or maybe you just don’t want to make a bigger scene. Ah, the homeroom teacher doesn’t know. Then it must have been the same when you were a freshman. You went around like that all last summer, and the teacher didn’t say anything?”

At my gaze scanning him up and down, his expression distorted. There was a certain pleasure in that subtle shift.

Looking at the situation, it seemed the teacher had no interest in whether the kid hovering at the top of the class rankings was a victim of domestic violence or school bullying.

It was obvious. He must have acted vacantly with that blank face of his. No one would have dared to guess.

But I had no intention of joining in on his self-pity game. I was curious about him, and it seemed there was some fun in watching and teasing him, but that was as far as it went. I wasn’t some leisurely idler with enough room in my heart to embrace a hedgehog bristling with thorns.

“Are you planning on getting help or not? Isn’t it a bit ridiculous to act all noble and blank, playing the victim, while doing absolutely nothing about it?”

“…You really were a son of a b*tch.”

Coming from a brat whose only curse word is ‘son of a b*tch.’

“Is it such a big deal that I saw a few of your bruises?”

“…….”

“What else is there besides a single crack in the pride you used to pretend you were a normal guy?”

“…….”

“But you aren’t normal. It’s a fact that you’re not okay.”

Water immediately welled up in his eyes. His subtly distorting expression finally collapsed under the surge of stung sorrow. I could see his thin jaw twitching as if he were clenching his molars. Strength went into Song Yun Jae’s lips. It was obvious he was biting the tender flesh inside his mouth.

“…Stop i—”

“You’re not the only one who isn’t okay.”

“…….”

“There isn’t a single b*stard without a story.”

The subtle trembling of his lips stopped instantly.

To think he’s weak enough to feel something like a sense of kinship and lean on it just from a single remark like that.

“So don’t act so unusually thorny.”

“…….”

“And fck, if you ever do this sht again, you’re dead.”

I couldn’t tell if his silent crying had stopped along with the trembling of his lips.

June, a night that had cooled down refreshingly. The playground was dark, and the fishy smell of the milk, cooled to a lukewarm temperature by the gentle breeze, hit my nose. I turned around without hesitation. I couldn’t imagine what kind of fit that woman would throw if I went home like this.

I thought I heard a sniffing sound for a moment. And soon, the sound of footsteps began to move away quickly.

With this, I had essentially uncovered everything I was curious about regarding Song Yun Jae down to the very bottom. Now that I’d seen what lay beneath, that ivory cardigan would likely no longer catch my eye.

It was entertaining until the end. The vibrating smell of milk was f*cking awful, but I thought it was a very ‘him’ kind of idea.

Using the thing he warned me not to drink just to screw with me.

From tomorrow, it would be the start of a quiet, boring school life again. It would be ridiculous even for him to go back to acting fake after showing his bottom like this.

While thinking those thoughts, I had to suppress a surge of irritation.

the fishy smell was seeping in deeper than I expected.

That night, the woman said nothing upon seeing the state I was in. As usual, I didn’t offer a greeting, and the woman, who turned her head to scold me, swallowed her words and scanned me up and down. There was no sign of surprise or curiosity. Maintaining her usual alluring expression, she looked me over for a long while before turning her head as if she had seen nothing.

It was actually more comfortable that way.

Since there was no word from my father after that night, it seemed the woman hadn’t opened her mouth about the uniform vibrating with the smell of milk or the state I was in that day. The next day, when I returned from school wearing a spare uniform, the one that had been dry-cleaned and cleared of the milk smell was hanging on my door. And then, nothing happened.

The house was so quiet it made my brief worry about things getting troublesome seem silly.

Contrary to what I expected, the thing that bothered me after that day was Song Yun Jae’s gaze.

The gaze observing Song Yun Jae had always been mine, and he must have felt it, so it was only natural for him to pretend not to notice and keep his eyes on his books.

But after that day, Song Yun Jae observed me overtly. During class, breaks, PE, dinner, and even night self-study. He would be fine, then suddenly fix his gaze on me and stare for a long time. It had already been a week of this.

Wondering what he was up to, I even glared back at him once, out in the open. I thought he would turn his head on his own, but Song Yun Jae didn’t avoid my gaze, maintaining that usual blank face. In the end, I was the one who turned away first.

If I had pushed him that hard, he should hate the sight of me, so why was he doing this? Was he determined to pay me back exactly for what he endured?

The annoyance crossed a line. While a spark of amusement flickered, his gaze following me constantly for a week quickly brought on irritation.

Today, even though I came early on purpose and sat in a seat near the hallway, the side of my head felt stung. While the kids rushed out at the bell marking the end of 4th period and the start of lunch, I slumped over on my desk.

And in the classroom where silence briefly flowed, footsteps approached.

Just as I was about to ignore it, assuming it was someone heading late to the cafeteria, an unexpectedly clear voice hit my ears.

“Aren’t you eating?”

It was Song Yun Jae.

Unable to even fully straighten my slumped body, I just craned my neck awkwardly and confirmed that the one speaking was Song Yun Jae. I should have buried my head again immediately, but the timing was off. It was because his words followed a beat faster.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

It was a familiar line.

It was what I had said on the evening I first spoke to him. Is he mocking me? I straightened my upper body and brushed back my bangs irritably. During that time, he continued to watch me.

“What are you doing?”

“I asked if you’re hungry.”

“Whether I am or not.”

“Are you sulking?”

“What?”

There was no agitation in his expression, which was calm enough to be called serene, but the ripple happened on my end.

It was the kind of thing I might have heard a long time ago when my mother teased me and I pushed her away while playing. Stunned and unable to say anything, he added a further explanation.

“I’m asking if you’re sulking because you got hit with milk.”

“Ha.”

What is this…

“If you’re not sulking, help me out for a bit.”

“…What?”

He said that and headed for the back door of the classroom. Wondering what kind of new crazy sh*t this was, I just watched his movement, and he stood at the door staring blankly at me. The way he even gestured with his chin as if asking why I wasn’t following was a sight to behold.

“You, seriously, what are you doing.”

“Hurry up, I’m hungry.”

Even though there was no need to play along with his prank-like behavior, I brushed my bangs back irritably once more and stood up.

He walked ahead of me by a distance of about five steps. It was different from when he walked ahead of me out of anger over the infirmary incident. If it felt like my footsteps were slowing down a bit, he would stop and look back. Then he would lead the way again. Checking to see if I was following well felt like training a f*cking dog.

Ah, he’s making me crave a cigarette again.

I was barely holding back the curses when he stopped walking. We arrived in front of the boys’ bathroom. It was absurd that the end of the craziness that had bothered me all week was the bathroom.

“What do you want me to help with? Does your arm hurt so much I have to wipe your ass or something?”

“Come in.”

Ha, f*ck, seriously. He’s a whole head shorter than me, yet every word he spits out is ‘follow me,’ ‘hurry up,’ ‘come in’…. It wasn’t even funny.

Song Yun Jae, who went into the bathroom first, only turned around after checking if there was anyone in each stall. Even after seeing my heavily scowling face, he didn’t budge and suddenly took off his cardigan.

Nothing was within the realm of expectation.

After suddenly taking off the cardigan and entering the very last stall of the bathroom, he called me.

“Come in.”

“…What are you doing.”

“I said hurry up. I’m going to finish this quickly and eat.”

“You, f*ck, seriously I—”

Standing in front of the last stall, I saw him unbuttoning his uniform shirt through the half-open door. Having unbuttoned them one by one as if it were nothing, he pulled his arms out and completely removed the shirt.

For a moment, I couldn’t say anything.

Firstly, it was because of the fact that he wasn’t even wearing a common short-sleeved t-shirt inside his uniform shirt, and secondly, because the bruise marks I was starkly confronted with as a result silenced me in succession.

After confirming that silence had spread across my face, which had been full of irritation just moments ago, he pulled something out of his pocket with that same blank face.

“Apply this.”

It was ointment.