Chapter 1: Prologue

“Yes, that’s right. Just check it as it sounds. Crustacean. Armor. Grit. Earthen pot. Multinational…”

In the quiet room, only the soft, composed voice of a woman in a white coat pierced the silence a few times.

The man and woman sitting across the desk from each other were each doing different things.

The woman in the white coat slowly spoke the words written on an A4 sheet at an appropriate volume.

The man listened to the words she read out and simply marked them on paper.

“Good. You had quite a few correct responses today.”

“Is that so.”

“Of course. On a day like today, you’re allowed to smile a little.”

The man sitting across from her was not much different in build compared to the woman.

His small, thin frame produced a gentle but weak voice.

There was no vitality to be found in his monotonous replies.

The clothes he was wearing looked new and were from a very expensive brand, but they were too large for his frame.

That only made him look more frail.

Forty minutes passed in silence.

The pen slipped from the man’s hand.

“We’ll stop here for today.”

“Thank you for your effort.”

“Your assignment is everything on this page. It’s not difficult, right?”

“Yes.”

Only then did the woman, who had been sitting stiffly for forty minutes, gently stretch her back.

In the process, the gold name tag on her chest glimmered.

‘Department of Rehabilitation Medicine, Speech Therapist, Kim Jaeyoung.’

“Mr. Haesu, try giving yourself feedback too. One, auditory training. Two, self-feedback. Those are your assignments.”

“Understood.”

“Yes. You did really well today, but your expression is the same as when you came in.”

“Is that so…”

Was there really something I did well?

What did I just do?

The man named Haesu thought as he opened his bag and put in the stack of papers and pencil case.

Did I do well?

If they say I did well, then I did, I guess.

Haesu.

That’s my name.

And the therapist said something else too.

Something about doing the assignment…

Lost in thought about the conversation he had just had, Haesu only came back to his senses when Jaeyoung greeted him as he was leaving.

He bowed his head.

He felt slightly apologetic for having been distracted in front of her, but she probably wouldn’t be too bothered by his attitude.

“Then take care, Mr. Haesu. See you next week.”

“Yes.”

He recalled what had been written in the intake form during his initial consultation with Jaeyoung here.

Things like having experienced a car accident five years ago, currently taking antidepressants, and being in a mental state accompanied by depression and sleep disorders.

All of it described Haesu’s condition.

As he opened the automatic door and finished at the counter, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

At first, he assumed it was just an app notification or a message, but the vibration continued several times.

Eventually, Haesu let out a short sigh and took out his phone.

The faint irritation he had just moments ago disappeared instantly.

As soon as he saw the name on the screen, Haesu quickly pressed the call button.

His arms awkwardly tangled as he brought the phone from his right hand to his left ear.

“Doyoon.”

“Oh, you picked up. Haesu.”

“Mm. What’s up?”

“I was just wondering how you’ve been. It’s been so long since I’ve seen your face, I thought I might even forget it.”

“Ha ha. We just met a few days ago. You’re joking, right? I’ve been… fine.”

“That’s good to hear. I’d like to see you.”

“…Ah. Yes. Okay.”

Haesu hesitated for a moment, then quickly agreed, worried the other person might misunderstand.

Doyoon didn’t seem to think much of it.

His laughter rang through the phone.

“You don’t mind, right?”

“Of course not.”

“Thanks for saying that. Actually, I have something to give you.”

“Hm?”

“When would be good for you? Just tell me whenever you’re free.”

It wasn’t forceful, but somehow it felt difficult to refuse.

And it also felt like he shouldn’t refuse.

“Today works too. Honestly, anytime is fine…”

It felt awkward to admit he was free in the middle of a weekday afternoon.

Doyoon fell silent for a moment, as if thinking.

“…I wonder when our Haesu will start getting busy.”

“Yeah.”

“Then shall we meet today? In the evening.”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

He had planned to go straight home, but an unexpected appointment came up.

After ending the call, Haesu immediately headed toward the subway.

The meeting time was 6 p.m.

And it was currently 3:34.

It was an awkward time to go home and come back out.

But two hours meant nothing to Haesu.

Choi Haesu had waited for someone for five years.

It was absurd, and now it felt like meaningless time.

For the first year, he stayed by the side of someone who could not wake up.

After a hellish year, when that person finally opened his eyes, Haesu resented him for not remembering only him.

Still, he couldn’t leave.

He hoped that the memories might return soon.

The doctors called it a miracle.

Even after being asleep for a year, rehabilitation was possible, and with effort, he could return to daily life without much issue, even if it took time.

It seemed like another miracle might happen.

As more years passed, he couldn’t leave because he feared that when the memories returned, that person might feel betrayed if Haesu wasn’t there.

He said it was for him, but half of it was an excuse for himself.

He endured, sustained only by memories of a happy past and the faint possibility of hope.

And just like that, five full cycles of seasons passed.

During that time, Haesu learned what resignation and loss meant.

The house they once lived in became empty because neither of them went there anymore.

By now, it probably belonged to someone else.

The restaurant filled with memories closed after its owner died.

Even their walking path was now being replaced by buildings.

Everything was changing.

Only Choi Haesu remained the same.

And today, that felt especially painful and suffocating.

“Wow, it’s raining a lot.”

“Doyoon. You’re here.”

“Yes. I’m a bit late, right? Sorry. Want anything more to drink?”

“No, I still have more than half left.”

He didn’t realize how much time had passed until someone appeared and broke his thoughts.

6:13 p.m.

Not very late.

As he sat blankly in the café, the man who came to meet him greeted him from the entrance and approached.

Lee Doyoon.

Rather than a friend, he was someone Haesu knew through his former lover.

They had been childhood friends.

Rainwater clung to Doyoon’s shoulders as he approached.

It hadn’t been raining when Haesu entered the café, so he hadn’t noticed.

He suddenly realized he didn’t have an umbrella.

But it didn’t matter much.

“It’s gotten colder these past few days. Take care of yourself, Haesu. Was it hard getting here?”

“It was fine. I was already here, so it wasn’t difficult.”

“That’s… good, I guess?”

“For now.”

“Mm, the reason I asked to meet today is…”

Doyoon trailed off.

It was a habit of his when he had to say something difficult.

Haesu was already used to that.

Smiling, Haesu rubbed the mug with his fingers and spoke first.

“How is Seha doing?”

“….”

“It felt strange that you wanted to meet again after just seeing me a few days ago…”

“….”

“You came to talk about Seha, right? He’s not sick or anything, is he?”

His gentle expression carried no emotion at all.

Whenever Haesu looked like that, Doyoon felt an unbearable pain.

Even though he wasn’t the one directly involved.

Words of comfort rose to his throat but stopped there.

Still, he couldn’t just send Haesu home like this.

Especially not on a rainy day, given Haesu’s condition.

His unnecessary guilt weighed heavily on him.

After clenching his fists and thinking for a long time, Doyoon took something out of his bag and handed it to Haesu.

It was a pristine white envelope.

The moment he saw it, Haesu’s mind instinctively turned to negative thoughts.

Of course, he didn’t show that.

“There’s no way you wrote me a letter, Doyoon.”

“Haesu.”

“It’s a wedding invitation.”

“….”

“If it were your wedding, you would’ve introduced me first before giving me this, so then…”

“This is Seha’s wedding invitation, right?”

His voice didn’t tremble even slightly.

Hearing Haesu’s composed question, Doyoon’s throat tightened.

He didn’t know why he felt like crying.

Haesu quietly looked down at what was handed to him.

He carefully touched the pristine envelope, as if afraid of leaving fingerprints.

It was decorated with elegant gold foil and dried flowers.

When he opened it, the neatly written name stood out.

A name he had called countless times.

Kwon Seha.

Choi Haesu’s lover.

And now, a name that no longer belonged to him.

“So Seha is really getting married.”

“Yes… that’s right.”

“He’s at that age. He’s two years older than me, so both you and Seha are already thirty-two. What about you, Doyoon? Any good news?”

There was still so much he wanted to say, but Doyoon couldn’t bring himself to speak.

It hurt just to swallow.

Perhaps he had already been crying without tears.

“…The chairman asked me to deliver this. Seha doesn’t know yet. Even if you don’t come, he won’t be angry. He cares about you more than anyone…”

Haesu’s gaze stopped at Doyoon’s reddened eyes.

Haesu still wore a gentle smile.

His soft laughter and light teasing voice sounded as affectionate as ever.

“You always end up crying first, Doyoon.”

“Haesu. Just don’t go to the wedding. I don’t think you should.”

Five years was a long time.

It should have been enough.

Doyoon didn’t want Haesu to remain tied to Seha anymore.

Haesu seemed to think for a moment.

Then he held the mug he wouldn’t drink from with both hands and lowered his head.

After a long silence, he finally spoke.

“How could I not go? It’s Seha’s wedding.”

“Haesu…”

Doyoon rubbed his face roughly.

Since receiving the invitation, he hadn’t been able to focus on anything.

He had left work early and rushed to Haesu’s place.

He knew Haesu would say this, but hearing it directly still felt unbearable.

Haesu’s fingers rested on Seha’s name.

Though he wanted to look away, he couldn’t.

Ten minutes passed in silence.

Then Haesu carefully folded the invitation, put it in his bag, and met Doyoon’s eyes.

“Not much time left. I’ll see you at the wedding.”

“Okay… Haesu…”

“Take care until then.”

With that, Haesu stood up and said goodbye.

He waved lightly and then turned his gaze away.

As he left the café, he didn’t stumble, nor did he seem full of energy.

Watching his back, Doyoon felt a heavy sigh rise only after he was left completely alone.

Haesu’s thin back and the hand slipping out of his sleeve looked frail even from a distance.

Doyoon wanted to tell him to take care of himself, but Haesu had already disappeared.

Five years.

Choi Haesu was still stuck in that accident.

Kwon Seha was getting married to someone else, and Lee Doyoon had moved on from the pain.

Only Choi Haesu remained.

It was frustrating, but Doyoon wasn’t Seha or Haesu.

He couldn’t persuade him any further.

The emotions Haesu must have felt all this time… even without experiencing them, they were terrifying.