Chapter 3: Crown Prince Xiao Futu

Lin Xiaoque asked how Xie Zhichi was doing.

Hearing his master’s question, Shan Xiu replied, “His Majesty’s anger has passed. The palace punishment has been revoked.”

Lin Xiaoque asked again, “Then where is he now?”

Shan Xiu lowered his head without speaking.

Lin Xiaoque said, “Why aren’t you answering?”

Shan Xiu replied, “What this servant has to say is not something Master would like to hear. So this servant won’t say it.”

Since childhood, Shan Xiu had always served Lin Xiaoque.
When Lin Xiaoque fell into Lotus Lake as a youth, it was also Shan Xiu who saved him.

When Lin Xiaoque fell unconscious, Shan Xiu wiped down his body.
When he lacked strength, Shan Xiu fed him meals.
When sickness chained him to his bed, Shan Xiu stayed beside him to keep him company.

Lin Xiaoque said, “If you don’t say it, how do you know I won’t like hearing it?”

Shan Xiu kept his head lowered.
After a moment of silence, he finally raised his eyes to look at him.

“Master, this servant doesn’t understand why you think so highly of the top scholar.
Your body was already weak, yet you still insisted on kneeling in the rain to plead for him.
In His Majesty’s eyes, that may very well have looked like coercion.

“Why concern yourself so much with another person’s life or death?
You didn’t even care about your own health.
You offended His Majesty just to save the top scholar, yet the top scholar may not even appreciate it.”

After speaking, Shan Xiu lowered his head again.

As a servant, he should not look directly at his master.

Thinking of his assigned character role, Lin Xiaoque said, “I like him, Shan Xiu. I don’t expect anything in return. I simply want to do something for the sake of this feeling.”

Head lowered, Shan Xiu clenched his fists tightly.

After hearing Lin Xiaoque say he liked someone, Shan Xiu could no longer force out another word.

The torrential rains in Yejing had destroyed bridges.
The Crown Prince, Xiao Futu, had left the palace to supervise officials handling flood control efforts.

Only after returning to the palace did he learn what had happened to Lin Xiaoque.

Suppressing his anger and agitation, he hurried toward Lin Xiaoque’s palace.

The eunuchs and palace maids serving there were so frightened by the Crown Prince’s expression that they forgot even to announce his arrival and immediately dropped to their knees, trembling.

Just as Xiao Futu reached the entrance of the sleeping hall, he heard Lin Xiaoque speaking about liking someone.

It felt as though someone had seized Xiao Futu’s throat.

A suffocating pain surged upward from his chest.
His eyes reddened and grew wet.

What exactly was this supposed to mean?

And what exactly was he supposed to be?

His, Xiao Futu’s, feelings were called treating Lin Xiaoque like a plaything.

But Lin Xiaoque’s feelings for some damned top scholar were somehow noble?
Pure?
Acceptable?

He had once believed Lin Xiaoque simply lacked emotion and affection, ignorant of what love even was.

Who could have guessed Lin Xiaoque already had someone he liked—

it just wasn’t him.

How could he possibly allow Qie Yu to fall for someone far inferior to himself?

Xiao Futu stepped inside.

“Leave.”

He ordered everyone serving there to withdraw.

Shan Xiu remained silent.

Lin Xiaoque lightly tugged at his sleeve, signaling him to obey the Crown Prince’s command.

Only then did Shan Xiu respectfully retreat.

Xiao Futu let out a cold laugh.

“Your servant is certainly loyal to you.
And you’re equally loyal to that Xie Zhichi.

“So your body means nothing to you now?
Kneeling?

“If you love kneeling so much, why not kneel enough before me instead?

“The rainstorm outside washed away bridges.
The common people suffering without shelter have no choice.
But you?
You deliberately went looking for misery.”

Xiao Futu strode over and seized Lin Xiaoque’s hand.

“Did you hear what I just said?”

Looking at Xiao Futu, Lin Xiaoque replied,
“Your Highness, I’m fine.
You don’t need to worry.”

“Who’s worried about you?” Xiao Futu sneered.
“You think I’d worry about you?

“Qie Yunü, you are nothing in my eyes.
There’s no way I’d feel even the slightest concern for you.”

He spoke decisively.

Yet his eyes were wet.

And it certainly was not raining indoors.

The Crown Prince’s stubborn dishonesty made it impossible for Lin Xiaoque to even pretend not to notice.

“Mm,” Lin Xiaoque answered softly.
“I understand.”

Seeing Lin Xiaoque’s weak and pale appearance, Xiao Futu slowly loosened his grip.

But Lin Xiaoque merely lowered his gaze, as though he had nothing else left to say to him.

Suddenly, Xiao Futu pulled him tightly into an embrace.

“You don’t understand.
You understand nothing.

“Qie Yunü, you learned how to like someone—
so why can’t you learn…”

Learn how to like me.

Xiao Futu never finished the sentence.

His pride would not permit him to repeatedly beg for love before Lin Xiaoque.

He could not completely strip himself open and display everything before him.

He had spent years studying the teachings of sages, mastering poetry, rites, and classics.
Once such robes were put on, they could never truly be removed.

To stand utterly exposed before Lin Xiaoque would only humiliate him.

Love.
Affection.

What a joke.

Saying it once was enough.

Say it too many times and it became clingy, disgusting, unbearable.

Xiao Futu thought to himself:
today, he would pretend Lin Xiaoque had never spoken those words about liking Xie Zhichi.

But if there were a next time—

he absolutely would not let it pass so lightly again.

Xiao Futu released him.

Yet seeing Lin Xiaoque’s exhausted appearance only reignited the anger within him.

For the sake of another man, he had reduced himself to this state.

Truly…

After a long silence, Xiao Futu suppressed his emotions.

“Qie Yu, don’t do foolish things like this again in the future.”

Whenever he was hurting, Xiao Futu called him by this shortened childhood name, omitting the final nü.

Simply Qie Yu.

In his previous life, Lin Xiaoque had spent his days bedridden and died young.

Those complicated emotions and tangled affections had little to do with him.

Only medicine accompanied him.

Every medicine tasted bitter in its own way.

Some induced nausea.
Some carried a fishy sweetness.
Some spread densely across the senses, consuming everything the moment they entered his mouth.

He could not see clearly.
Could not hear clearly.

There was only bitterness.

Bitter down to the bone.
Bitter into the blood itself.

He wanted to vomit but could not.

All he could do was swallow it down while enduring the nausea.

Lin Xiaoque truly wanted to give Xiao Futu a reassuring answer.

He did not want to torment himself either.

Kneeling in the rain had been terribly cold and painful.
His calves were bruised and swollen.
Shan Xiu had surely already applied medicine to them, otherwise his head and legs would both be throbbing unbearably now.

The medicine was bitter.
He did not want to drink it.

His head hurt.
Dizziness overwhelmed him.

But he could only endure.

He also wanted to live freely without caring about anything else.

But he could not.

There was a price to staying alive.

He needed to properly play the role of this cannon fodder top.
Whenever the plot required it, he had to follow it.

Sooner or later, he would still need to rescue Xie Zhichi from the palace.

Then be imprisoned.

Be used as a hostage.

And finally commit suicide.

Lin Xiaoque asked 233:
【I’ve never tried committing suicide before.
Will it hurt badly?】

233 comforted him:
【It’ll be very quick.
Don’t be afraid, Host.
As soon as you die, I’ll immediately take you away to the next world.】

Lin Xiaoque responded with an:
【Mm.】

Then added:
【Thank you.】

Lin Xiaoque said:
【233, you’re different from the programs I imagined.
You seem to have emotions.】

233 replied:
【I have an installed simulated humanity module.
Systems and hosts maintain a mutually beneficial relationship.
Only by possessing humane care can a system coexist harmoniously and long-term with its host.】

Lin Xiaoque smiled faintly.

Not knowing what else to say, he simply offered another:
【Thank you.】

Seeing his smile, Xiao Futu forgot even his own heartbreak.

Unable to resist, he lifted a hand, wanting to touch Lin Xiaoque’s face.

Lin Xiaoque’s smile froze.

He dodged away.

To disguise the awkwardness, Xiao Futu instead brushed Lin Xiaoque’s temple.

“Your hair’s messy.”

He tucked the loose strands behind Lin Xiaoque’s ear.
His fingertips seemingly brushed against the earlobe carelessly.

Lin Xiaoque lowered his eyes.

The faint ticklish sensation along his ear made him uncomfortable.

They had not been this intimate in a very long time.

Suddenly, Xiao Futu no longer understood why he had spent so long angry.

Qie Yu’s health was poor.
He was sickly and temperamental.

If he had little moods, Xiao Futu could simply coax him.

Why insist on opposing him?

So much time had slipped away between their fingers.

Though Xiao Futu hoped Qie Yu might live to a hundred years old, deep down he knew—

that was impossible.

Xiao Futu cupped Lin Xiaoque’s face.

“Am I really that ugly?
Why do you keep lowering your eyes?”

The warmth of both hands pressed against his cheeks.

Lin Xiaoque grasped Xiao Futu’s wrists, trying to push him away.

Xiao Futu said,
“I’ll tell you a story.
Don’t push me away.”

Being bedridden for long periods was unbearably boring.

And in an ancient world, there was little entertainment.

Lin Xiaoque liked listening to stories.
Shan Xiu often asked guards to buy storybooks from outside the palace and read them aloud to him.

But sometimes, Lin Xiaoque wanted to hear real stories instead.

The things Xiao Futu described from his own experiences always felt vivid and alive.

Before the incident where the young Xiao Futu kissed him, they had once been nearly inseparable.

Whenever Xiao Futu returned from outside the palace, he would climb directly onto Lin Xiaoque’s bed.

Holding him in one arm, he would feed him candies bought from outside the palace.

Lin Xiaoque would lie against Xiao Futu’s chest, candy in his mouth, listening as Xiao Futu vividly described the world beyond the palace walls.

In spring, common families traveled together through green mountains.

In summer, storytellers waved palm fans while spinning tales.

When autumn winds rose, maple leaves burned red from the foot of the mountainside all the way upward.

When winter snow fell, frost and wind drenched his hair and face.

And there were also the countless rumors spreading through Yejing City.

Which elderly official had slept with his daughter-in-law.
Which family had encountered the bizarre matter of switched daughters.
Which ancient minister had taken seven or eight concubines…

Elegant stories or vulgar gossip— Xiao Futu avoided none of it.

He told Lin Xiaoque everything.

Lin Xiaoque listened with great interest.

And in the end, Xiao Futu said that once Lin Xiaoque recovered, he would take him outside the palace.

“The world outside the palace is merely an extension of the world inside it,” Xiao Futu had said.

“But outside, there are far more people.
And once there are more people, things become infinitely more complicated and dazzling.

“It has its filth too, like muddy swamps.
But it also has beauty, the scenery of all four seasons.

“When you recover from this illness, let’s go out more often.
Lying in bed all the time is far too boring.”

Back then, Lin Xiaoque had agreed.

But not long after he recovered, Xiao Futu kissed him and was discovered by the Grand Tutor.

Afterward came one incident after another.

Gradually, they drifted apart.

And the promise of leaving the palace together was never mentioned again.

Returning to the present, Lin Xiaoque still firmly pushed Xiao Futu away.

He did not use much strength.
His illness left him weak and exhausted.

But seeing Lin Xiaoque’s determination, the strength throughout Xiao Futu’s body dispersed all the same.

Just like that, he was pushed away by those feeble hands.

Xiao Futu lowered his hands awkwardly.

For a moment, he seemed at a loss.

But very quickly, he raised those proud eyes again and stared directly at Lin Xiaoque.

“Your illness hasn’t recovered.
It’s normal not to want to hear stories.
I was inconsiderate.”

He hid away his feelings, behaving only like a childhood companion.

“I’ll come see you again later.
Take good care of yourself.

“And stop doing foolish things that make people look down on you.”

Xiao Futu deliberately jabbed at him with those words.

After saying them, he felt a little regret.

But seeing Lin Xiaoque’s indifferent reaction, that regret transformed back into irritation.

No matter what he said or did, Lin Xiaoque always acted as though he did not care.

It made Xiao Futu want to grind his teeth apart.

Or perhaps keep his teeth— so he could bite Qie Yu instead.

Bite him until Qie Yu cried softly:
“Your Highness… Your Highness…”

Xiao Futu suddenly drew in a breath, startled by the shamelessness of his own daytime fantasy.

Turning his head aside, he should have left already.

Yet he lingered stubbornly, unwilling to go.

Looking at the candles within the hall, he suddenly found an excuse to stay a little longer.

“I already told you not to keep everything so gloomy.
It’s broad daylight, yet you keep the windows shut and light candles.
Isn’t it stifling?”

Xiao Futu rose and slowly walked toward the palace lanterns, extinguishing the candles one by one.

Immediately, the hall dimmed.

Lin Xiaoque disliked this kind of darkness.

He preferred brightness.

The brighter it was, the easier it became to ignore his body’s discomfort.

He could focus on everything within the room instead of himself.

But once darkness fell, there was nothing left for him to grasp except his own pain.

And the pain had nowhere left to hide.

It surged from deep within his body, burning like fire until he could no longer ignore it.

It hurt.

Lin Xiaoque pressed his lips together faintly.

Should his calves be treated with medicine again?
Why were they hurting once more?

Xiao Futu opened the windows.

Light slanted in from outside.

It felt as though Lin Xiaoque had finally escaped suffocation itself.

Looking toward the light, he saw Xiao Futu turning back toward him.

Standing against the sunlight, Xiao Futu’s figure darkened several shades, making the emotions in his eyes appear even more obvious.

Lin Xiaoque felt as though stung by a bee.

He turned his face away, refusing to look at him.

Frustration climbed across Xiao Futu’s features.

His back straightened further.
His eyes grew prouder.

Standing there, he silently looked down at Lin Xiaoque from above until Lin Xiaoque lowered his head uncomfortably.

Xiao Futu said,
“I’m leaving.”

Lin Xiaoque gave no response.

Xiao Futu repeated,
“This time, I’m really leaving.”

Suppressing his emotions, Lin Xiaoque finally raised his face politely.

“I won’t see you out.”

Xiao Futu gazed at him for a moment longer.

Then, without another word, he turned and left with cold pride.

The moment he stepped beyond the palace doors, the force supporting him vanished.

He stumbled slightly.

Yet before the watching eunuchs and palace maids, Xiao Futu concealed every trace of weakness and sorrow.

No palace servant would ever see vulnerability in the Crown Prince.

He would forever remain the most flawless heir Great Ye had ever known.

Only after Xiao Futu left did Shan Xiu reenter the hall.

He carried a bowl of thin porridge.
It had cooled slightly after being freshly prepared and was now perfect for eating.

Lin Xiaoque had no appetite.

After forcing down two bites, he refused any more.

Shan Xiu had intended to persuade him further, but seeing Lin Xiaoque rubbing his calves, he guessed the pain had returned.

Quickly setting down the porridge, Shan Xiu fetched medicine and began applying it to Lin Xiaoque’s legs.

The moment his fingertips touched his master’s skin, Shan Xiu trembled almost imperceptibly.

This was not the first time Shan Xiu had seen the skin beneath Lin Xiaoque’s robes.

When Lin Xiaoque lacked strength, Shan Xiu bathed him.
There was no part of his body Shan Xiu had not seen.

Yet even so— every glimpse, every touch, still felt like the first time.

He never became accustomed to it.

His fingertips coated with medicine gently rubbed against Lin Xiaoque’s skin.

His mind became hot, dark, and heavy— like damp wood burning, thick black smoke billowing through his thoughts.

He could do nothing.

Could think of nothing.

Within the black haze, only his master remained— like a silent jade statue.

Lustrous light.
Cool and radiant.

A sacred idol being defiled.

Shan Xiu knelt down.

He knelt beside the bed while applying medicine to Lin Xiaoque, atoning for the momentary stirring within his heart.

A servant should kneel.

Not dream of climbing onto his master’s bed.

And even if he climbed up— what could he possibly do?

He was only a castrated s*ave.