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Join the ServerWhen Lin Xiaoque awoke, he found himself back in his own courtyard.
He knew nothing of what had happened while he was unconscious.
Even awake, his mind remained hazy.
Then he heard someone announce,
“Her Majesty the Empress has arrived.”
He looked up.
What met his eyes was Chu Cizhao walking toward him, his face deathly pale.
He should have risen to bow.
Instead, beneath the empress’s gaze, he forgot every rule of etiquette.
Her Majesty… looks so sad.
When Lin Xiaoque had been a child, he had always thought the empress resembled a dignified peony.
From his appearance to his bearing, everything had been flawless.
The empress always wore robes befitting his station.
His makeup was equally proper, never allowing even the slightest hint of seductive charm.
He left others no opening through which they could criticize him.
He was the very image of a virtuous empress.
Never jealous.
Never envious.
Never one to scheme against others.
Yet he had never been weak.
Once, a favored consort had relied on the emperor’s affection to offend the empress.
Chu Cizhao had punished the consort strictly according to palace regulations.
Unwilling to accept the punishment, the favored consort retaliated.
He accused the empress of practicing witchcraft to curse the child in his womb.
Witnesses.
Evidence.
Everything appeared complete.
The situation quickly spiraled beyond control.
No matter how rumors spread, the empress refused to confess.
Even the officials in court began to question him.
Emperor Xiao Juan personally came to question him.
“Did you do it?”
Kneeling on the floor, the empress answered only,
“I did not.”
“Even if Your Majesty were to grant me poisoned wine…”
“I would never confess to something I have not done.”
After a long time, Xiao Juan reached out and touched the empress’s brows.
“You are the empress.”
“To be framed by someone else is your own incompetence.”
“You should have crushed him before he had the chance.”
“Not allowed yourself to be suspected of plotting against an imperial heir.”
His hand slowly caressed Chu Cizhao’s face, almost tenderly.
“Empress…”
“Your beauty has not aged.”
“But your heart has.”
He had failed to discipline the palace servants.
Failed to govern the imperial harem.
This had not been an unavoidable disaster.
He had simply grown tired.
He no longer wished to manage such matters.
That was why the favored consort had dared to sink his teeth into him.
Xiao Juan dampened a silk handkerchief with water.
Little by little, he wiped every trace of makeup from the empress’s face.
When Chu Cizhao’s face was finally as clean as it had been on the day they first met at the palace banquet, Xiao Juan quietly looked at him for a long while.
Then he smiled.
He pushed the empress onto the bed.
That night, he took him with exceptional roughness.
“I still prefer the way you were back then.”
“Not like you are now…”
“So lifeless.”
He tried to force tears from him.
But the empress only bit his own lip.
He bit until it split open and bled.
Even then, he refused to let out a single sob.
Xiao Juan suddenly clamped a hand over the empress’s mouth and nose.
For one terrifying instant, Chu Cizhao truly believed the emperor intended to suffocate him to death.
As the air left his lungs, he thought of his young child.
His family.
His clan.
Before he realized it, tears had gathered in his eyes.
Xiao Juan kissed those tear-filled eyes.
Only then did his hand slowly loosen.
The following morning, Xiao Juan said he would personally investigate the matter.
Until then, the empress was to remain confined to his palace.
Enduring the pain throughout his body, Chu Cizhao climbed out of bed and bowed.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Without another glance, Xiao Juan turned and left the empress’s palace.
Not long afterward, he uncovered the truth.
Despite the favored consort’s pregnancy, he had the consort thrown into the Cold Palace.
The consort proved remarkably resilient.
He gave birth there to the Fifth Prince.
But the child grew up like a ghost within the Cold Palace.
Invisible.
He did not even have a name.
It was only after the consort wrote a letter in blood and had a loyal servant risk his life to deliver it to the emperor that Xiao Juan finally agreed to see him.
The consort confessed his love.
The emperor remained unmoved.
He even seemed irritated by it.
Only when the consort said,
“I’ll trade my life…”
“Just let my son leave the Cold Palace…”
did Xiao Juan’s expression soften ever so slightly.
Seeing that the emperor still made no promise to free them, the consort understood.
He looked one last time at his son.
Then, hardening his heart, he threw himself headfirst into a pillar before the emperor.
He died instantly.
Xiao Juan ordered him buried.
Then he carried the Fifth Prince out of the Cold Palace.
He personally gave the child a name.
Xiao An.
“You’ve reached the shore.”
“But your mother drowned.”
“Your shore…”
“And your mother’s endless darkness.”
After naming him, Xiao Juan handed the Fifth Prince over to another consort to raise.
He disliked the child.
The blood of his birth mother still clung to him.
There was too much death surrounding him.
The Fifth Prince had also come on this autumn hunt.
His elder brothers had set their sights on a milu deer.
Just as they were about to loose their arrows, the Fifth Prince stopped them.
“Don’t.”
“She’s pregnant.”
“That’s a pregnant doe.”
The Third Prince replied indifferently,
“So what?”
The Fifth Prince tried to persuade him.
“Third Brother…”
“Killing a pregnant deer goes against Heaven’s will.”
“Let’s hunt something else.”
The Third Prince glanced at him and raised his bow anyway.
Before he could shoot, the Fourth Prince stopped him.
“Third Brother.”
“Fifth Brother is right.”
“A mother’s love for her child is profound.”
“If Father Emperor learned of this, he might not be pleased.”
“Let’s head over there instead.”
“We can hunt a fierce beast for Father Emperor.”
The mention of the emperor immediately changed the Third Prince’s mind.
He lowered his bow.
The Fifth Prince fell half a step behind before quietly thanking the Fourth Prince.
The Fourth Prince said nothing.
He simply reached over and gently ruffled the younger boy’s hair.
The Fifth Prince had been entrusted to Consort Rou.
True to the meaning of her title, Consort Rou was gentle beyond compare.
Even though she already had her own son—the Fourth Prince—she never neglected the Fifth Prince.
The two brothers got along well.
Back in Lin Xiaoque’s courtyard.
The empress stopped beside his bed.
Seeing that Lin Xiaoque was awake, he could no longer suppress the question bursting from his heart.
“Why did you enter the hunt?”
“Why did you deliberately put yourself in danger?”
He dismissed everyone else.
Shan Xiu withdrew reluctantly, worry written across his face.
Looking at the angry empress, Lin Xiaoque thought to himself,
Her Majesty finally seems… alive.
Not merely a perfect empress.
Not just someone who always follows every rule and every ceremony without fault.
Lowering his eyes, he quietly answered,
“It was just an accident.”
Chu Cizhao looked at him.
“How many accidents do you think your body can survive?”
“Do you know how worried the Crown Prince would be after seeing you injured?”
By the end, his voice trembled.
It wasn’t the Crown Prince who had panicked.
It was him.
The moment he heard the news, he had abandoned everything and rushed over.
He only wanted to know—
Was Lin Xiaoque hurt?
How badly?
Would he wake up?
Or had he been frightened so badly that he never would?
But he couldn’t say any of that.
He could only borrow his son’s name to express his concern.
Lin Xiaoque had grown up inside the palace despite having no blood ties to the imperial family.
When he was little, the empress could openly care for him.
But now that Lin Xiaoque had grown older, Chu Cizhao had to avoid suspicion.
Even dismissing all the servants had been an unwise decision.
He was a ge’er.
Even if he was old enough to be Lin Xiaoque’s mother, it was still improper for them to remain alone together.
Mother?
The thought startled Chu Cizhao.
He had looked in the mirror that morning.
He wasn’t old.
If not for the heavy imperial robes…
If not for the solemn makeup expected of an empress…
If he wore the clothes of a young nobleman, no one would find it out of place.
He refused to admit he was over a decade older than Lin Xiaoque.
How shameless.
To harbor feelings for someone so much younger.
Suddenly, the empress sank down beside the bed.
Covering his face, he burst into tears.
Lin Xiaoque felt as though countless ants were crawling through his heart.
It was unbearable.
He wanted to apologize.
But was he supposed to spend his entire life like a porcelain vase…
Locked safely indoors…
Untouched by wind or rain…
Simply to survive until ninety-nine?
He wanted to go outside.
He wanted to ride horses.
He wanted to gallop across open fields.
He wanted to see a different world.
Not spend every day filled to the brim with bitter medicine until it seemed ready to overflow from his throat.
Sometimes he wondered whether, if he cried…
Even his tears would taste of medicine.
Lin Xiaoque didn’t know what to do.
Watching an elder cry before him filled him with unbearable guilt.
His heart felt tightly clenched.
Unable to beat freely inside his chest.
He slowly sat up on the bed.
Carefully…
Very carefully…
He reached out and wiped away the empress’s tears.
The empress’s tears were burning hot.
Like tiny sparks of fire.
“Your Majesty…”
“Don’t be afraid.”
Gently stroking Chu Cizhao’s face, he whispered,
“I’m fine.”
“I’m really fine.”
The empress looked at him.
Tears still lingered in his eyes as he let out a faint, self-mocking smile.
That smile pierced Lin Xiaoque’s heart.
He slowly withdrew his hand.
But Chu Cizhao caught it.
“Don’t call me ‘Empress.'”
His voice was soft.
“I’m Chu Cizhao.”
“From beginning to end…”
“I’ve only ever been Chu Cizhao.”
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