Chapter 6: The First Smile

How many times do I have to say I’m fine? Suddenly, a wave of anxiety washed over me—that all my efforts so far might go to waste. Ugh… So annoying. I need to speak more firmly…

“One person is enough.”

…Did I say that? I stared at Choi Taehyuk in surprise as he said exactly what I was about to say. This was the first time since my regression that I’d heard him speak that much.

Aside from that initial warning about keeping my mouth shut, he’d only spoken in single words… But now he was even softening his expression, as if to reassure Chae Yeryeong.

As expected, even this bastard can’t help himself in front of the person he likes. Something unpleasant stirred in my chest, but I ignored it. It’s definitely not that I’m feeling slighted. I’m a cool guy.

“Alright, okay! I’ve delivered what I came to deliver, so I’ll be going now.”

Chae Yeryeong, probably embarrassed that his kind offer had been rejected multiple times, scratched his cheek and stood up. Seeing that, I felt a little bad—maybe we’d treated him too much like an unwelcome guest.

“Uh… Want me to walk you out? I could say hi to your mom while I’m at it.”

I’d walked him home a few times before, so Chae Yeryeong nodded and naturally took the lead. I put my hand on his shoulder and guided him toward the front door. As he was putting on his shoes, I turned my head back to say I’d be right back.

“…Going?”

Startled. I nearly had a heart attack. Covering my mouth just in time to stop myself from screaming, I looked up at Choi Taehyuk, who was standing right behind me. The bastard I thought would be sitting motionless on the sofa had personally come to the entrance and was looking down at Chae Yeryeong putting on his shoes.

Wow… Look at this bastard. When I leave, he doesn’t even see me off, let alone say a word—but when Chae Yeryeong leaves, he comes running to the door with his bare feet. Well, I suppose that’s normal. Actually, it was stranger that he said I could handle things alone earlier.

…But still, you said you didn’t need help and made things awkward, and now you’re sad that he’s leaving?!

I’m not feeling hurt. I’m just feeling wronged.

Biting my lip to hold back a retort, I nudged Chae Yeryeong aside once he’d finished putting on his shoes and slipped my feet into my own.

“Yes. If I’m out too late, my family will start calling!”

“…No, I meant you.”

But what Choi Taehyuk grabbed was my arm.

Me?! He was asking about me?

Choi Taehyuk straightened me up—I’d been awkwardly bent over fixing my crumpled sneakers—and turned me to face him.

“Huh? Ah, I just thought I’d walk him out since it’s been a while…?”

Hit directly by his interrogating gaze, I instinctively shrank back and ended my sentence awkwardly. What’s with this atmosphere?

“…I see.”

That’s it? You create this suffocating silence, nod, say one word, and that’s the end?

“What’s with this atmosphere? Haha—. Hey, looks like hyung doesn’t want you to leave. Say hi next time and just stay today.”

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one feeling the awkward tension—Chae Yeryeong said he’d go alone and opened the front door. I confirmed that Choi Taehyuk had finally looked away from me and quickly turned around.

“Should… should I?”

“Yeah! It’s just right outside anyway. I’ll be going then. Sunbae, see you next time!”

Unlike my hesitant reply, Chae Yeryeong’s voice was bright, as if he’d already adapted to the situation. He wrinkled his nose at me, shrugged his shoulders, and then playfully saluted toward the person behind me.

“Yeah.”

That must have been amusing—Choi Taehyuk’s voice from behind carried a hint of laughter. I’m having a lot of new experiences today. A voice with laughter in it—so he could make that kind of sound too.

In this brief moment, the way he treated Chae Yeryeong and me was so different—that’s a real talent, seriously. I shook my head and shouted at Chae Yeryeong, who was walking backward and waving.

“Next time, ring the doorbell, you bastard!”

I doubted he’d actually listen despite his agreement, but taking back a key I’d already given felt a bit much.

I didn’t know what sudden whim Choi Taehyuk was acting on, but I decided to head to bed early and think of ways to get closer to him. As I hurried to get ready for sleep, his gaze followed me everywhere I went. Since there was no one else in this house but me and Choi Taehyuk, unless it was a ghost, it had to be him. Why was he making me so self-conscious?

“Hyung. I know the position might be uncomfortable, but just sit tight a little longer. The bed sheets I washed are dry now, so I’ll change them and help you lie down.”

I said that thinking he might be uncomfortable, but Choi Taehyuk just nodded silently as always.

That deep, sexy voice—what’s he saving it for?

I figured I’d said my piece and busily changed the sheets. But the back of my neck still felt itchy.

“…Hyung, do you have something to say?”

“……?”

He’d been staring at me like he had something to say, so I asked—but Choi Taehyuk instead looked at me as if wondering why I’d suddenly ask such a thing. Talk about turning the tables, this bastard?

“No… It’s just that you kept looking at me…”

The instinctively cowering tone wasn’t because I was a coward—it was because the bastard’s presence was overwhelmingly intense. I mean, wouldn’t anyone be scared with a guy over 190 centimeters tall, with shoulders as wide as the Pacific and muscles bulging everywhere, staring at you with wide eyes from close range? But why has this bastard been looking at me like he’s about to devour me since earlier?!

“No.”

He’s annoyingly short with his words too, seriously. I engraved the character for ‘patience’ in my mind and finished up my tasks, then walked toward the closet.

I hummed awkwardly, slowly pulled out the pajamas I’d hung up, turned them this way and that to check for loose threads, even sniffed them to see if they smelled—but either my sidelong glances were wasted on the neighbor’s dog, because Choi Taehyuk was still staring at me intently. Hey! It’s not like I’m about to put on a strip show for you—at least have the decency to look away when I’m changing clothes, isn’t that basic manners?!

“Uh… Hyung, I need to change, so could you look somewhere else… No, never mind, we’re both guys. I’ll just change. Hahahaha!”

Overwhelmed by his gaze, I ended up changing in front of him. Something about Choi Taehyuk seemed a little strange lately.

“Wow—. Hyung, your body is insane.”

How did this come up? It was an exclamation that slipped out while I was massaging Choi Taehyuk’s body.

For the past few days, I’d been massaging his neck, shoulders, arms, and legs—avoiding his wounds—every night before bed. And every time, I ended up saying something like this. His body was truly a work of art.

Every part I touched was solid, his proportions were no joke, and his skin was flawless—not even a single freckle. Isn’t this just too well-made? The defeat I felt as a human being made me curse internally, but that only made me feel more defeated, so I decided to just admire it freely. Right. He’s the abnormal one, and I’m the normal one.

“I always think this, but hyung, you must have been really popular. Right?”

“……”

“Since my job involves physical labor, I thought I’d seen my fill of muscular bodies, but hyung is on a whole different level.”

“……”

“No, seriously, what kind of exercise did you do and for how long? I’m envious. If I work harder at my current job, could I become like you, hyung?”

Always the same pattern. I’d ramble on about this and that, and he’d nod when an answer was absolutely necessary—or not even that. When the answer was negative, he’d naturally just send a powerful glare without a word and that was it. The only time this bastard uttered actual words was during meals.

But I’m a man of indomitable spirit, so I kept up the conversation, changing topics to keep things from getting boring for either of us.

“Phew—. Okay, that’s it. Massage over for today!”

Since he was so large, every massage session drained all my strength, and I’d be exhausted afterward. Since I always worked on his legs last, lying down beside him as he lay on his stomach and admiring his side muscles had become part of the routine—I’d gotten used to it.

“Hyung. How do you get a body like this?”

“Exercise.”

“How much do you have to do?”

“29 years.”

Ah~ I see~. So you’ve been exercising since you were a newborn baby~. Are you kidding me?

I wasn’t expecting a detailed answer, but if this kept up, I’d get annoyed. Being with him made me almost miss my school days when I’d talk to the wall out of loneliness.

Irritation surged up, and I narrowed my eyes as I looked up at him. But then…

“Hyung! Did you just laugh?!”

He was laughing! The perennial ice—Choi Taehyuk—was laughing at me.

It wasn’t a big smile, a grin, or even a proper smile—just a quiet chuckle—but a laugh was a laugh!

Seeing someone who always had a blank expression smile made me feel like I’d won the world. Because that smile felt like the fruit of all my efforts. After all this time, despite the cold responses, I’d never given up and kept acting friendly—this was a small reward for my efforts. I’d acted like it didn’t bother me, but every time he was curt with me, I’d been secretly anxious and lost.

Now that I’d even made him laugh, surely I could consider us somewhat close, right?!

“You little shit! Watch yourself! You’ll throw out your back like that, you bastard!”

“Ah, seriously—you shouting startled me even more! If I twist something wrong, are you going to take responsibility, ajusshi?”

“This brat has no shortage of comebacks!”

I’d been spacing out for a moment, thinking about things, and immediately got yelled at. I know I shouldn’t let my guard down when carrying heavy loads, but I nearly tripped from being startled.

Grumbling, I straightened my posture and kept walking. Get a grip, Kim Jinho. Why do you keep thinking about Choi Taehyuk smiling? It’s not that big a deal.

Whether it was just a chuckle or whatever, it’d been three days since I saw him laugh. In that time, I’d seen him laugh a total of three times. All chuckles, but a chuckle is still laughter.

His vocabulary was still at the one-word level, but he’d started talking a bit more and his actions had become more cooperative. Plus, even when I occasionally mixed in informal speech or tried to get physically closer, I didn’t get hit with that intense glare anymore.

Overall, his gaze had softened, I’d say? This wasn’t just my imagination—I’d definitely built some level of intimacy with him. Honestly, if nothing had changed, that would’ve been stranger.

But the problem was, I had no idea how close we’d actually become. I’ve always been terrible at socializing, so aside from Chae Yeryeong, I never really had any friends. A few other names might come to mind if I thought about it, but when I think ‘friend!’ the only one that pops up is Chae Yeryeong, so he’s probably my only real friend. Kinda shitty feeling, but that’s reality.

Anyway, the point is—I don’t really know what it feels like to become close with someone. I think things are better than before thanks to the circumstances, but I couldn’t be sure whether I’d actually become close with Choi Taehyuk, or if we’d just become superficially less awkward from being together all the time.

“Hey, kid. You gonna keep spacing out?”

I must’ve let my posture slip while thinking, because another stern shout came from behind. I quickly rearranged what I was carrying, put strength into my core so the back could hear, and shouted back.

“I’m carrying it properly!”

“Oh ho? Look at this little shit? Where’d you get the nerve to talk back to your hyung?”

With the ajusshi behind me quieting down, the one in front glanced back at me and chimed in.

“What hyung, what hyung! Just watch where you’re going!”

The one who keeps turning around to check on me looks way more precarious—who’s nagging who here? Anyway, these overly meddlesome ajusshis wouldn’t let me think in peace. Still, they weren’t wrong, so I decided to save my thoughts for later and focus on moving the load.

Finally, as we reached the destination, the ajusshi who’d been walking ahead set down his load first and spoke to me.

“Hey kid, something on your mind?”

“Huh?”

While I was flustered by the sudden question, the ajusshi who’d been following behind also set down his load and threw an arm around my shoulder.

“Well, you’ve been spacing out a lot when you never used to, so it seemed odd.”

Hah… Here comes the ajusshi combo of meddling again. I was about to tell them to just get back to work, but I heard someone shouting that it was mealtime and pressed my palm to my forehead.

Right, if you can’t escape, enjoy it, they say. Maybe two extra heads are better than just me thinking alone.

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