Chapter 30: A Good Card

In the end, Jemin couldn’t fall asleep until late that night.

He thought he had forgotten what Woohyung said, but the thoughts came back to him.

Either way, watching Woohyung follow that trainee hyung who had left better than a member of his own team like himself washed over him with a feeling of emptiness.

Thinking ‘He doesn’t even recognize me as a hyung…’ made him feel twice as bitter.

In the dead of night while everyone was asleep, he turned on his phone alone and read fans’ comments for a long time.

He should have stopped there, but with tears welling up in his eyes, he ultimately ended up writing an emotional post.

[From. Jemin]

When I feel those moments where it feels like it doesn’t have to be me…

When I get the feeling that maybe it shouldn’t have been me…

What do you do in times like that?

After pressing the submit button, Jemin gasped internally.

He hadn’t particularly wanted fans to know about these feelings.

Afraid he was worrying them for nothing, he tried to delete it hastily, but fans who rushed in during that short time had already left a flood of comments.

• Jemin-ah ….. You are an indispensable existence

• I’ve only ever thought about how lucky we are to have you, so I don’t really know …..

• Who said something to our Jemin! Bring them all out!

• Today was really tough, right? Blaming yourself continuously thinking “Why does this only happen to me?” But even if there’s a reason why it doesn’t have to be you, that still doesn’t become a reason why you aren’t precious.

• I’ll pray that you have sweet dreams. Jemin, the most precious person in the world.

Fans who were swearing and fighting with PPP stans as usual sent only beautiful words to Jemin as if nothing had ever happened.

Realizing once again that there were so many fans caring for him, Jemin vowed once more to do his absolute best for them.

[From. Jemin]

(Content pop-pop-popped away!!)

I’m sorry.. only saying things that make you worry…

This is why you shouldn’t do social media late at night!

I feel much better after venting to you Nities!

Rather than feeling fine, he thought he needed to steel his resolve further.

Just as he had declared so confidently before.

He resolved to prove the reason why it had to be Yoo Jemin.

[From. Jemin]

Sorry for waking you Nities up…

I don’t have anything to give you, what should I do… …

Sleep tight and see you tomorrow!

He needed to calm down the fandom, which had gone into chaos worrying if something happened to Yoo Jemin.

Jemin hurriedly turned on the bedside lamp and looked in the mirror.

Although he was bare-faced, equipping a filter made it so it wasn’t overly raw.

Though he rarely wore it normally, he put on the rabbit-eared washing headband he had received as a fan gift and snapped a selfie while lying on his pillow.

Then, he took another shot with half his face buried in the pillow, and a final shot with a bright smile holding up a V sign, where his pajamas slipped down slightly.

• Wow… wait a second….

• Saying sorry while keeping us wide awake, look at him

• Jemin-ah… Cover yourself up!

• You walk around the dorm like that? haha

• Hey… give us more

“Hello.”

Hyunguk immediately recognized Woohyung, who had his hat pulled down low, and waved his hand.

Woohyung let out a dumbfounded laugh upon seeing Hyunguk and sat across from him.

“You should have worn a mask. You’re famous now.”

“What’s with you suddenly showing up after disappearing without a trace?”

“Aren’t you happy to see me anyway?”

Woohyung barely managed to carve out time from his packed schedule.

Even if he was busy, he had no choice but to make time.

After all, news had reached him regarding Hyunguk-hyung, whom he hadn’t known was dead or alive.

He spoke to the CEO and got in contact with Hyunguk.

When Hyunguk-hyung’s voice came out in the guide track, he felt as if he’d been hit on the back of the head.

“…You’re not doing the idol thing anymore?”

He blurted it out offhandedly, pretending to be unbothered, but inside he was anything but.

“To be precise, I can’t do it.”

Hyunguk smiled, took a sip of coffee, and set it down.

Woohyung seemed to recall those days back then.

Staring off into the distance while drinking coffee, he let out a sigh.

“I thought I’d debut with you, hyung.”

“Don’t look at me like I’m that pathetic.”

In the time they hadn’t seen each other, it felt as though his hyung had grown up even more.

“There are more heart-fluttering things than standing on stage, you know.”

Hyunguk said it not merely to comfort Woohyung, but out of genuine sincerity.

“Look. You never know with life. Who knew your team would blow up like this, or that I’d be doing so well as a composer for top idol follow-up tracks? Even though my track lost the title spot to yours.”

With a playful laugh, Hyunguk tapped Woohyung’s shoulder.

“I watched your team perform, and everyone is doing great.”

Hyunguk brought it up to change the subject.

“Everyone’s improved since the last time you saw us, hyung.”

“I kept catching my eye on that one member, though.”

Assuming Hyunguk was naturally trying to praise him, Woohyung prepared to nod his head in advance.

“Yoo Jemin.”

“Naturally… wait, what? Him?”

At the unexpected name, Woohyung furrowed his brows.

“Is it just because he’s a member you don’t know well, hyung?”

“It’s not simply that.”

Surprised by Woohyung’s negative reaction, Hyunguk said:

“Wait, why are you asking with a look like you can’t understand at all? You’re right beside him and you still don’t know?”

“I’m asking because I don’t know because I’m right beside him.”

Woohyung tilted his head.

From what he had observed so far, Hyunguk-hyung had a keen sense for producing as well.

He couldn’t comprehend on what basis he bypassed James-hyung, Eunhan, Yunbin, and even Jung Woohyung himself to pick Yoo Jemin.

“He’s not the main vocal, not the main dancer, not the main rapper, and not the main visual either.”

“I’m telling you this because you’re the member producing the team overall. Don’t take it personally, just listen.”

Woohyung received overall feedback on their previous album from Hyunguk-hyung.

Even setting aside the title track since he couldn’t control that, he had been confident in the follow-up track.

Matching Woohyung’s confidence, critics gave generous reviews that were rare for rookies.

Did someone once plunge a dagger into him saying it was the end? Dreads and solemnity are embedded within the refreshing sound.

The lyrics speaking of continuity are organically linked to the team’s direction as well.

The rhythm pouring out without a dull moment was light yet heavy, as if exerted without force.

Idols who directly write, compose, and produce their own songs have grown in number compared to before.

Woohyung goes beyond merely producing songs to present a vision for the group.

It isn’t as though unrefined elements are completely absent since it’s his first time, but even those feel like elements of the song itself.

Truly, isn’t 4ever just getting started?

In that one can distinguish between favorability toward Woohyung and favorability toward the music, his ability has already been recognized as valid.

He is a musician and artist whose future is worth anticipating.

Truth be told, Woohyung was the type to look up music critiques even if he didn’t check fan reactions.

Though fans would be utterly outraged if they heard this statement.

The reviews for Woohyung’s self-composed tracks were filled with nothing but praise for Woohyung.

That was how confident Woohyung was in his own abilities.

‘My producing was wrong?’

Woohyung believed his producing had drawn out the absolute maximum possible for that situation.

There were no regretful parts.

If he had elevated each member’s individual abilities further, he might have been able to create an even better song and stage.

However, he didn’t consider there to be any issues with line distribution, song structure, or directing.

“I wonder if it’s because he was the last member to join, so you don’t know him well yet.”

“Are you saying he stands out compared to the four of us? If so, isn’t it just that his color doesn’t match on his own?”

“It’s not like that.”

Woohyung usually accepted almost everything Hyunguk-hyung said.

However, this time it was hard to accept easily.

“It feels like you hold a good card, but because you don’t know when to play it, you just throw it out during a round where it feels like whatever you play won’t matter anyway.”

“There shouldn’t be any throwaway verses in my music.”

“To put it differently, it means it feels like you didn’t write the song while keeping that member in mind.”

Shouldn’t he naturally adapt to my song instead?

Woohyung wore a pouting face, seemingly thinking along those lines.

“Take a closer look. He seems like a member with potential.”

Returning to the dorm, Woohyung lay in his spot and recalled his conversation with Hyunguk-hyung.

The critique that he hadn’t utilized the members well kept bothering his mind.

‘No matter how I look at it, that was the best option.’

In Woohyung’s view, Jemin was a stepping-stone member.

The role of the main vocal bursting out in the chorus was already held by Yunbin.

The role of building up the atmosphere through rap was perfect for James-hyung, while the so-called killing parts belonged to Eunhan.

Jemin was tasked with connecting the members and their respective parts.

There was no part where Jemin particularly stood out, but paradoxically, because it was a part that didn’t stand out, it went to Jemin.

‘Utilize Yoo Jemin….’

If it were anyone else’s advice, he would have let it go in one ear and out the other as usual, but perhaps because it was Hyunguk-hyung’s words, it kept lingering in his mind.

“Do I really not know him that well?”

Not that he had ever made an effort to know him, though.

Woohyung scratched the bridge of his nose.

Yoo Jemin

Troubled, Woohyung typed in a search to watch Jemin’s stage performance.

It came from the thought that the perspective while standing on the same stage versus watching from below might be different.

“Why on earth does he wear pajamas like that?”

Woohyung scowled.

When he searched for Yoo Jemin, only photos of him wearing some rabbit headband popped up.

When he tried searching Yoo Jemin vocal, hundreds of meaningless posts written under the guise of cleansing related search terms appeared.

Woohyung moved his search target from social media to video sharing sites.

[Week 2 Yoo Jemin And-ing Fancam]

He had seen group videos often while monitoring, but it was his first time watching Jemin’s solo video.

He might have seen it once before, but if he ever did, it must have been an accident.

“Hmm….”

He had occasionally looked toward Yoo Jemin while on stage.

Yoo Jemin made it very obvious when he was nervous.

Fearing that a nervous, frozen Yoo Jemin might make a choreo mistake or mess up his positioning, Woohyung would glance over at him.

“Ah.”

Right around when the first verse ended, the door suddenly swung open with a bang.

Watching Jemin’s fancam, Woohyung frantically pressed the back button repeatedly.

Seeing Woohyung hurriedly hiding something under his blanket, Jemin looked at him with a pathetic gaze.

“What is it, what were you watching that you’re hiding it?”

“Nothing.”

Woohyung pretended as if nothing were wrong and lowered his phone volume.

With the video already turned off, pressing the volume key repeatedly made the system sound effect ring out even more clearly.

“Should I step outside for a bit?”

Thinking he had interrupted Woohyung’s alone time, Jemin pointed outside with a dubious look on his face.

“If you’re going to leave, leave forever.”

“Then I shouldn’t move even a single step.”

Out of sheer petty spite, Jemin resolved not to leave the room.

Sitting on the edge of his bed while playing on his phone, Jemin asked Woohyung:

“Where did you go earlier?”

Checking once more that the video was properly closed, Woohyung replied:

“I went out briefly to meet Hyunguk-hyung.”

Hearing the name Hyunguk, Jemin winced guiltily.

“Hyunguk-hyung said he likes you.”

Realizing his wording right after saying it, Woohyung quickly added:

“Ah, it doesn’t mean that kind of way, so don’t ask me to set you guys up.”

“What are you talking about, are you crazy?”

Does this bastard think I’m the epicenter of some gay drama history?

Behind Woohyung’s back, Jemin secretly flipped him the bird.