Chapter 36: Panic and Awakening

[Do you think Jung Woohyung would actually search his name?]

It was a thought everyone shared with one mind and one heart.

There was no way Jung Woohyung would search his name.

Not only Woohyung’s fans, but even Jemin, who was a member of the same group, had thought so.

However, surprisingly, that very thing actually happened.

“…There are quite a lot.”

Woohyung rested his chin on his hand and scrolled down without even blinking.

Feeling self-loathing at his own appearance as he searched, he placed a hand over his forehead and then removed it.

“What on earth am I doing right now?”

Woohyung turned off the screen and shoved it into his pocket.

After thinking for a moment, whether he felt somewhat murky, he turned his phone back on.

[Yoo Jemin]

Only after deleting his recent search history did Jung Woohyung let out a sigh.

Using song production as an excuse to avoid going to the dorm, to think the thing he was doing was searching Yoo Jemin.

Woohyung did perform a search, but instead of himself, he had searched Yoo Jemin.

And even then, he was looking it up not on social media, but via image search on a major portal site.

“Seeing as I don’t feel much, was I just strange for a brief moment back then?”

Woohyung pondered alone over what the cause of his confused heart had been over the past few days.

He searched and looked at Jemin’s photos, but it was just the Yoo Jemin he had always known.

Just in case, even when clicking to order by newest, there was nothing that had changed about Yoo Jemin.

“He is handsome, but that’s obvious since he’s an idol.”

In truth, if he had felt strange emotions just looking at photos, it was about to become twice as flustered.

So inwardly, he felt a sense of relief.

‘He smiles a lot while going around.’

To Woohyung, the appearance of Jemin glaring at him while giving him side-eyes to avoid the camera was much more familiar.

Meaninglessly having shoved his phone away, Woohyung was thinking about Jemin once again.

「Q2P Yoo Jemin : When are you coming?」 11:45 PM

The phone vibrated.

Woohyung intended to only look at the preview, but accidentally tapped the chat window.

「Q2P Yoo Jemin : I’m waiting」

「Q2P Yoo Jemin : Because I have something to tell you」 11:46 PM

He was not the type to exchange that many messages with Jemin.

They were bound together in a team anyway and shared a room, so if there was something to say, they said it directly.

Even the saved name was as stiff as could be.

It was the exact name saved back when they formally exchanged numbers after hearing they were in the debut lineup to debut as the same team.

‘Something to tell me?’

For a relationship like that, to the point of declaring there was something to talk about separately, what on earth could it be.

Thinking that way, his head became complicated.

Without knowing what it was, he felt hesitant, feeling it would plunge him into even greater confusion.

However, even so, he couldn’t just pass the whole night here without returning to the dorm.

Woohyung frowned as he tried to reply.

「Yeah」

This looked a bit cute, so no.

「Got it」

This felt like he was listening too well.

「Ok」

This looked casual, so he disliked it.

「Yeah」

The reply Woohyung picked after much deliberation was merely that.

“Why am I acting like this?”

Woohyung wondered if sending a few letters to a fellow group member was something to deliberate over this much.

Yet, he even wrote a few more letters and sent them.

「Bastard : Yeah」 11:47 PM

「Bastard : I’m coming now」 11:48 PM

Thinking it would be a relief if he just didn’t ignore it, unexpectedly a reply came immediately from Woohyung.

Jemin tilted his head and muttered to himself.

“What is it?

Does he think I’m angry?”

Jung Woohyung was not someone who would get scared just because Jemin was angry.

Jemin simply assumed he must have sent the text right at the timing Woohyung was intending to leave.

Whether Jemin’s thought was wrong or not, Woohyung really arrived at the dorm shortly.

“Sit down.”

Like a parent telling their child to bring their report card on exam day, Jemin sat cross-legged and patted the floor vigorously.

“…There?”

Was it because sitting in that same posture in a place holding that previous memory felt uncomfortable, Woohyung asked back.

“You can do it standing up too.”

“Forget it.

I’ll sit.”

Woohyung sat in front of Jemin.

To face him straight on felt a bit odd.

Woohyung pointlessly fiddled with his fingernails and asked Jemin.

“What is it you have to say?”

He asked indifferently as if he had no interest whatsoever, but inside he was truly curious.

The only thing Jemin would say to him was nagging, but what if it was something else.

Could that drunken truth back then just be passed over as if nothing happened.

While Woohyung was having all kinds of thoughts, Jemin asked an unexpected question.

“Did you search yourself?”

Hearing the word ‘search’, Woohyung raised his head and looked at Jemin.

It was definitely an enclosed space, and he searched using his personal account, so how did he know that he searched Yoo Jemin.

Moreover, he even deleted his search history.

“Did you really search?”

Jemin looked at Woohyung who was staring straight at him with eyes wide open, asking back in the sense of ‘did Jung Woohyung actually search?’.

“No.”

Woohyung denied it first.

“I didn’t.”

“I knew it.”

If Woohyung had known about this situation, he would have been angry in a different way.

Knowing that a commotion had broken out, was he staying outside completely unbothered.

Rather, knowing nothing like the usual Jung Woohyung made him less angry.

Of course, that didn’t mean he wasn’t angry at all.

It was just lesser in degree.

“You’re getting sworn at like crazy right now.”

“You?”

“Why would I get…

Well, I got dragged in and sworn at together because of you, too.

The origin was you.”

“Over what?”

Seeing Woohyung asking back, Jemin realized once again that Woohyung really hadn’t done any searching.

“It doesn’t matter what it is, but to speak of the essence…

Let’s separate public and private matters.”

When Woohyung put on an expression showing he didn’t quite understand, Jemin added.

“I know you dislike me.

Fine.

What can be done about that.

It’s not like you’re suddenly going to like me overnight.”

Woohyung nodded his head several times.

It was in the sense of ‘Right.

There’s no way.’

“People outside pick up on it for no reason and fights break out among fans.

Don’t show that you dislike me and let me act professionally.”

“I don’t dislike you that much.”

“I dislike you that much.”

The brightly smiling Jemin from the image search results was gone.

Jemin looked at Woohyung with a straight face.

“Do you think I’m saying this right now because I want to get close to you?”

A silence fell between the two for a moment.

Woohyung knew.

That at this timing, he had to apologize.

Even so, his lips did not part easily.

“And I’m saying this in case you misunderstand, but I really just did that yesterday because I was drunk, so don’t mistake it as if I had any feelings toward you.”

At Jemin’s words, Woohyung’s pupils shook.

The only thing not shaking was Jemin’s voice.

“Even if I were to come to like a man, it would never be you.”

Having said that, Jemin stood up from his spot.

He couldn’t face Woohyung’s face any longer.

As soon as he closed the bedroom door, he leaned against the door and tightly closed his eyes.

‘I blew it.’

After threatening him to his heart’s content, Jemin regretted it.

Even if he threatened a guy who wouldn’t listen even if persuaded, it would be useless, but he couldn’t overcome the moment’s anger.

He intended to ask for cooperation, but somehow as he talked, it got twisted.

“What do I do if he strays even further in the future.”

Jemin looked at the bedroom door with anxious eyes.

Meanwhile, Woohyung, left alone in the empty room, was not at peace either.

‘It was definitely not like this when looking at photos.

Is it because the real thing is better that he’s like this.’

The feeling he thought was a misunderstanding was spreading again.

Woohyung couldn’t be certain what this was.

He felt a thought that perhaps it might be the very thing he thought it absolutely wasn’t.

Seeing as Jemin’s words, “Even if I were to come to like a man, it would never be you,” kept lingering in his mind.

“Let’s go one more time.”

“Yes!”

It was an hiatus period for fans, but a time so busy the members couldn’t even catch their breath.

Woohyung revised and revised the melody and lyrics whenever he had spare time, making the song into its final completed version.

The members memorized the lyrics referencing Woohyung’s guide recording.

It was the day of recording the song practiced like that.

“One more time.”

Even as Eunhan sang passionately in the recording booth, Woohyung shouted the “One more time” from hell.

“Jung Woohyung is really harsh.”

James, who had already entered and exited the recording booth prison, was slumped on the sofa as if exhausted, shaking his head side to side.

“Still, James-hyung, you wrote your rap lyrics yourself.

So it seemed like he didn’t touch it much.”

“What are you talking about, I touched heaven several times and came back.”

Yunbin, having finished recording, was conversing with James leisurely.

However, Jemin couldn’t do that.

Because he was still waiting for his turn to record.

“That’s enough.

Eunhan, you worked hard.”

Eunhan’s long and arduous recording came to an end.

Eunhan barely managed to come out of the recording booth with unfocused eyes and weak legs.

“Are you ready?”

Woohyung turned around, looked at Jemin, and said.

“Yeah.”

Jemin stood up from the sofa.

It was Jemin who said to separate public and private matters, but until last night, he couldn’t sleep due to worry.

In case Woohyung held a grudge against him and chopped his parts in half or gave him high notes he couldn’t handle.

However, laughably to Jemin’s worries, Woohyung allocated appropriate parts and vocal ranges.

In this song, he even came to take charge of the intro.

“One more time.”

Although he practiced hard before going into recording, Jemin couldn’t avoid Woohyung’s “One more time” either.

“One more time.”

Thinking it was because his condition was bad due to not sleeping well yesterday, Jemin steeled himself and sang again.

“One more time.”

Seeing Woohyung squeezing out even the main vocalist Yunbin anyway, this was something he had prepared for.

Jemin cleared his throat again.

“Ha…”

The words “one more time” didn’t feel bad at all.

Jemin knew that much—that it came out in the process of Woohyung producing as a producer.

However, the sigh had a different meaning.

Because of Woohyung letting out a sigh as if he was pathetic, Jemin cowered, wondering if his vocals were unusable.

“Ha, seriously…”

Woohyung sighed several times, then slammed his head onto the keyboard and muttered.

“…Why does it all sound so good?”

Woohyung fell into a state of panic.

His own ears—which were objective, rational, professional regarding music, and deeply insightful—seemed to have gone weird.

It was a big problem because it just all sounded good.