Chapter 12: A Fragile Truce

When I opened my eyes again, I was alone in the guiding room, as if Taewoon had never been there.

I felt like I had dreamed it all up out of my intense longing for him.
But his wavelength lingered nearby, a sign that he had been there.

I looked around and noticed a blanket with the Center’s mark draped over my body, likely left by him.
His words may have been harsh, but feeling his lingering kindness, a faint smile appeared as I stroked the blanket.

But soon, the alarm for work rang, and I hurriedly got up.
I realized I had slept in the guiding room until morning.

I first contacted the manager about my current situation and took a quick shower in the guide-exclusive shower room.
I had a feeling I could start the day on a positive note.

After changing into my uniform, I checked Taewoon’s guiding level on my way to the lecture hall.
I felt a sense of relief seeing that he had entered the stable zone, probably because I had guided him all night.

When I entered the lecture hall, Jihwon looked at my face and said I looked happy.
As he said, my condition was so good that my mood was written all over my face.
I had been with Taewoon all night, and the cold relationship we had been in felt like it had warmed up again.
I smiled, vaguely feeling that the day we would return to how we used to be was not far off.

There were no guiding lectures or training on Sunday, so I stayed home all day.
I wanted to go out, but I couldn’t yet leave freely, so I had no choice.

Before coming here, I had worked like a machine at the factory without a single day off.
Even when I did have a day off, I was too busy throwing my exhausted body onto the bed.
So I didn’t know how to spend my free time.

I tried to sleep in bed like before, but sleep wouldn’t come.
After repeatedly opening and closing my eyes, I took out a book titled ‘Effective Guiding’ from my bag.
I thought it would be good to strive for promotion whenever I had time.

I was reading the book, underlining important parts with a pen.
Then, someone started pounding roughly on the front door.

Bang! Bang!
Startled by the sudden noise, I came out of my room and watched the door as the rough kicking continued.
I slowly approached the door and asked in a cautious voice.

“Who is it?”

“Open the door.”

It was Taewoon’s voice.
As soon as I identified the person, my heart began to pound violently.
It was the first time he had come all the way to the Guide dorm.

With a foolish, beaming smile, I hurried to open the door to greet the owner of the voice.
Through the open doorway, I saw him in his casual clothes.
I had thought it before, but he looked good in both his uniform and casual clothes.

As soon as the door opened, he walked into the house with his shoes on.
He scowled and looked around the living room.

“You live in a shabby place, just like a C-Class. How can you even sleep in a place like this?”

“…It’s not bad to live in. Why are you here, Taewoon-ssi?”

He didn’t answer my question and instead looked around the house.
Since I spent most of my time at the Center, the house was bare, without any decent furniture.
I was happy he had come, but I didn’t want to show him this kind of house, so I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

“Come out.”

He quickly lost interest in the unimpressive interior and went outside.
I followed him without a word.

His sports car was parked at the dorm entrance.
He got into the driver’s seat and curtly told me to get in without even looking at me.
I obediently got into the passenger seat, fastened my seatbelt, and asked.

“Where are we going?”

“My house.”

“Why are we going to your house?”

“From now on, you’ll live at my house and guide me.”

At his words, I couldn’t hide my surprised face and looked at him.
I thought I would never be able to go to his house again.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Starting from the day we spent the night together in the guiding room, my relationship with him was slowly returning to how it used to be.

“Really, really?”

Still unable to believe it, I asked him again.
This situation felt so dreamlike that if he weren’t next to me, I would have pinched my cheek.

“Don’t make that face. I’m not calling you because I like you.”

I realized my lips had curled up into a smile without me knowing.
I hurriedly covered my mouth with my hand.

“It’s f*cking annoying that you’re a C-Class, but it’s to my advantage to use you as much as I can while I can.”

“……”

“From now on, you only guide me when I need it, and don’t even think about coming out of your room when I’m home.”

I knew his words were selfish and inconsiderate of me, but just being able to be with him was enough.
If we lived together, he would surely return to the kind Taewoon I knew.

“I understand. I’ll be careful.”

He didn’t say anything more.
And so, I was able to return to his house.
But this time, I wasn’t using the room next to his, but a small room in a corner of the house.

Still, it was much better than the dorm, and I was happy that I could live with him.

As soon as we got home, he went straight to his bedroom, and I went to mine.
I realized for the first time today how happy it was just to be in the same house with him, just to have the person I liked by my side.

He usually came home drunk in the early hours of the morning.
It was said that high-ranking Espers often got addicted to caffeine and alcohol.
Since artificial guiding had its side effects, it seemed they overcame it with alcohol, caffeine, and anesthetics.

Perhaps because he was also suffering from side effects, there were many strong liquors and medicines all over the house.
Experiencing his pain firsthand, I felt like his suffering was contagious.

Today, too, I waited in my room for him to come home.
When it was close to 3 AM, I heard him come in.
I sat on my bed and focused on the sounds outside.
He usually went straight to his room, but I heard him walking towards my door.
My body began to tense at the sound.

I was happy when I was with him, but at the same time, I also felt fear.
His sharp words always stabbed me in the heart.

Soon, the door opened, and he stood in the doorway and spoke.

“Lee Shinui, come out.”

At his call, I hurried out, and he was walking down the hallway with a slightly staggering gait.
I immediately noticed that he had come home drunk again today.

I had never seen him drink before my grade came out, so it seemed he had been holding back then too.
Or maybe he had been fine because I was guiding him.

“Did you come home after drinking?”

“Don’t talk, just follow me quietly.”

In the end, I kept my mouth shut and walked carefully so as not to make a sound.

He went into his room.
The only time I could enter his room was when I was guiding him.
It seemed he had decided to use me thoroughly, just as he had said before.
It felt like I was being treated as a guiding tool rather than a person, but I was still happy.
As long as I could help him and be by his side, I was fine with being used.

After coming to his house, I guided him about three times a week.
He had insomnia, so it seemed he could only sleep comfortably when I guided him.

He was already lying on the bed.
His back was to me, and only his hand was extended behind him.
At that sight, I gently sat down beside him.
And without him saying anything, I started guiding him on my own.

I carefully placed my hand over his.
He had his hand open, but I intertwined our fingers and held his hand tightly.

As soon as the guiding started, I felt his wavelength, which had been as sharp as a blade, gradually calm down.

I stared at the back of his head for a moment, then slowly examined his entire body.

His life felt more pitiful than mine.
He was revered by the entire nation as an S-Class Esper, but he was always suffering from side effects and could die from a sudden rampage.
How scared and frightened must he be in this situation?

It was fortunate that he had met me, with our high matching rate, but it was also understandable that he would be frustrated that it was with a C-Class Guide.

If the person who could protect my life was a C-Class, I wouldn’t have trusted them either.
So I understood his callous behavior.

He must have been tired, as he fell asleep quickly.
He tossed and turned a few times without a sound, then leaned towards me.
I could see his rough face.

I gently touched the ends of his hair, careful not to let him know.
I checked my Guiding Watch and saw that he had entered the stable zone.
Usually, I would return to my room when he reached the stable zone, but this time, I wanted to stay by his side a little longer.

Just looking at his face was nice.
I was about to return to my room after looking at him for a while.

“Don’t go.”

He said in his sleep.
I knew it wasn’t a sincere statement, but I came back and took his hand.

We used to spend the night like this, holding hands.
It felt like we had gone back to that time.

If I were an S-Class, I would probably be sleeping next to him.
I gently held his hand and prayed for the day I could sleep next to him again.