Chapter 18: So Comfortable

But now she stood under the hot spray, water pouring from overhead, steam clouding her vision.

Her body felt as if someone had fished it out of an ice cellar and slipped it into a basin of warm water. Every nerve was slowly relaxing.

The muscles that had stayed clenched for too long loosened, one by one. Breathing came easier.

She picked up the bottle of body wash from the sink and pumped a little into her palm. The clear gel spread across her hand, carrying a light fragrance.

She still didn’t dare use much.

She rubbed it into a lather and spread it over her body. The foam slid over her skin with a soft, smooth feel, carrying away every trace of dust and wood shavings.

With her fingertips, she slowly massaged her arms, so thin they were almost nothing but bone. She watched the gray-black grime wash off under the hot water, revealing pale, delicate skin beneath.

The sensation of being clean felt almost unreal.

‘Yeah…’

‘So this is what I really look like…’

‘White and soft.’

When the hot water hit the swollen palm print on her left cheek, she sucked in a sharp breath.

The heat on the red, tender skin stung.

She turned her head out of instinct, trying to keep the stream away from that spot, but water from her chin and neck still ran down over it, soaking the edges of the wound no matter what.

Bai Zhinuo bit her lip and didn’t make a sound.

The cut at the corner of her mouth flared up too when the water touched it. It burned so badly that she frowned.

She lifted her hand and gently wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her fingers, rubbing off part of the wet scab to expose the fresh pink flesh underneath.

It hurt.

She finished washing her hair through clenched teeth.

The shampoo smelled of jasmine too. When she worked up a lather, she felt the white strands slip through her fingers. The ends, dry and brittle from lack of nutrition, turned soft and smooth in the hot, soapy water.

She rinsed and rinsed until the water ran perfectly clear, leaving no trace of foam behind.

When she turned off the shower, the bathroom went quiet. The only sounds were the patter of water drops hitting the floor tiles and the low hum of the air conditioner vent.

Bai Zhinuo stood on the wet tile, water dripping from the tips of her hair and down her skin, pooling around her bare feet.

She picked up the clean towel beside her and wrapped herself in it. The soft cotton drank the water from her skin, the feel of it like a thin layer of cloud pressed close against her.

She looked down at herself. Wrapped in a towel, she looked fine.

She glanced at the mirror.

The girl in the mirror was thin and small.

But her skin was very white, very smooth.

Long white hair, deep purple eyes.

So cute.

Bai Zhinuo was a little dazed by the sight. She couldn’t remember how long it had been since she’d seen herself like this.

Too long.

Only when the mist on the mirror had completely faded did she come back to herself.

At some point, redness had crept into her eyes.

She was about to get dressed and go out when she stopped short again.

The ragged uniform she had taken off was still piled in the hamper beside the sink, the wet fabric crumpled into a ball. It was impossible to put back on.

And the plastic bag she’d brought to the Shen house.

The one with her spare old sweater and socks in it.

It was sitting on the floor outside the bathroom door.

She clearly remembered intending to take it in with her, but the joy of being able to take a hot bath had gone straight to her head. She had completely forgotten about it.

Bai Zhinuo stood in the middle of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, hair still dripping.

She stared at the closed bathroom door for a long time, running through options in her head.

‘Ask Shen Qingci for help?’

‘No way. How could she trouble them over something this embarrassing?’

‘But what was she supposed to do, then?’

‘Walk out there with nothing but this towel?’

‘How is that different from running around naked?’

Bai Zhinuo looked down at the towel around her. It was wrapped around just once, hanging loosely over her body. A tiny movement would be enough to make it slide off.

She paced back and forth a couple of steps, barefoot on the warm tiles. Water dripped from her hair, leaving dark spots blooming across the light gray floor.

She turned her eyes to the cabinet beneath the sink. With one last fraction of hope, she pulled it open and looked inside.

Several clean spare bath towels and hand towels were stacked in neat folds. There was nothing else.

No spare pajamas. Nothing to cover her body.

Bai Zhinuo closed the cabinet door and leaned against the edge of the sink, looking down at her toes.

The edge of the towel grazed the outside of her thigh. The soft cotton still held a little lingering warmth, but she felt stiff and frozen as she stood there.

Shen Qingci was right outside in the bedroom, with only the door between them. She could even hear the faint noises coming from out there.

A soft sound of a phone being picked up and put down on the nightstand. The low drone of the air conditioner vent. The occasional rustle of Shen Qingci turning a page.

She pressed her ear to the door and listened. Her heart was racing so fast that she could hear it herself.

She swallowed. Her fingers grabbed the edge of the towel and then let go.

In the end, she shrank into the corner by the door, squatting against the cold tile wall, and buried her face in her knees.

The movement made the towel slip up, revealing a patch of white skin so pale it seemed almost translucent at the top of her thigh. She hurriedly reached down and adjusted it.

She would just wait a little longer.

Wait until Shen Qingci was asleep, then sneak out quietly.

That was the plan, and it sounded perfect.

But in the very next moment after she settled into position, a wave of weakness crashed over her. Her vision went black, and she lost her balance entirely.

“!”

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