Chapter 3: A Day for Flowers and Birds, or So He Thought

“What a beautiful day it is, perfect for admiring flowers and teasing birds~”

A handsome young master ambled leisurely along a small path in the valley.

His posture was tall and straight, adorned in a brocade robe edged with gold thread, a jade belt inlaid with jewels cinching his waist, and satin boots embroidered with cloud patterns on his feet.

His vibrant red hair was swept up high with a jade hairpin, making his complexion appear as flawless as jade and his features exquisitely refined—even more striking than a beauty.

He casually carried a cage holding a small yellow bird, whistling a carefree tune.

Anyone who saw him would surely praise him in their hearts: ‘Ah! What a charming and dashing playboy!’

“Young Master, the Sect Leader requests your presence!”

“Sister Liu?”

Hua Yan watched the woman in green robes arrive, flying on a flute. His body stiffened slightly, then he burst into laughter and went to meet her.

“Oh, what brings you here, Sister Liu?”

Without waiting for a reply, his expression turned stern, and he spoke earnestly, “Sister Liu, I truly didn’t do it this time! Grandmother must be wrongly accusing an innocent person!”

“Stop talking! They’ve already come knocking, who else could it be but you?!”

‘Huh? That’s not right. I just picked up a golden-winged magpie outside. Did its owner really track it down already? And even alarm Grandmother directly? When did this bird become so precious?’

Hua Yan felt a flicker of suspicion. He held up the birdcage and stared at the golden-winged magpie inside, eye to eye. The magpie also tilted its head, its tiny, beady eyes meeting his beautiful golden ones, and they shared a moment of silent understanding.

“Oh, my young master, you still have time to play with birds! Please, come with me!”

Protector Liu said, grabbing his hand and pulling him along.

“Hey, hey, Sister Liu, don’t be in such a hurry! Let them come, but this magpie can’t be left behind!”

***

“Wow, Great-Grandmother, you’re amazing!”

“Hahahaha, of course I am!”

Inside the hall, Hua Xiangrong clapped her small hands, excitedly watching the birds Hua Yuheng conjured with spiritual energy.

They soared and twirled in the air, performing various difficult maneuvers. The great-grandmother and great-granddaughter were gathered together, a picture of joyous harmony.

‘I say, Host, why are you so skilled at acting like a child?’ 099’s voice echoed in Hua Xiangrong’s mind.

‘Oh, 099, didn’t you investigate my background before choosing me as your host?’

Hua Xiangrong picked up a pastry from the table, nibbling on it in small bites as she replied with a cheerful smile in her thoughts. ‘I was an acting major in my last life. Playing a child is nothing difficult for me.’

‘Besides, with you shielding my mental fluctuations from external detection, coupled with my acting skills, forget about Great-Grandmother, the Valley Master of the Demonic Sect.

Even a true immortal wouldn’t be able to see through my disguise. Moreover, who would suspect a child connected to them by blood?’

099 froze instantly, its internal data flow momentarily halting at her words.

‘No, if you have this level of skill, why didn’t you transmigrate into someone close to the female lead?! Wouldn’t that be much better than spontaneously becoming the daughter of the female lead and the villain?!’

‘Oh, haven’t I explained it to you already? By becoming their daughter and bringing them together, the world’s crisis will be much easier to resolve.’

‘Besides, I’m not the type to be decisive, cautious, or capable of cultivating diligently. If you put me by the female lead’s side and make me grow up with her, that definitely won’t work.’

‘It’s better to leave everything to others. I just need to intervene a little!’

‘No, I think you just want to ship them, don’t you?’ 099 bluntly exposed her.

“Cough, cough!”

Hua Xiangrong coughed lightly twice, then quickly picked up a cup of honey-infused flower tea and took a sip. The tea’s sweet and refreshing taste, imbued with an indescribable mellow richness, slid down her throat, permeating her entire body.

“Mm! I have to say, the pastries and tea in this cultivation world taste really good!”

‘Host, don’t change the subject!’

‘Oh, 099! I haven’t even blamed you for transmigrating me into a girl, so why are you talking so much!’

Hua Xiangrong put down her teacup, feigning impatience as she chided, ‘You said I asked to become the child of Hua Yan and Yun Xueshang, so why did you just assume I’d be a pink-haired little girl? You changed my gender!’

‘Host, did you not pass your nine-year compulsory education?’ 099 retorted, unwilling to yield.

‘How could that be! I was an acting genius who scored over six hundred on the college entrance exam!’

‘Then, Host, you should know that for same-s*x reproduction between two females, genetically speaking, it should only be possible to give birth to a girl, right?’

‘? Wait a minute…’

Hua Xiangrong, who was still nibbling on a pastry, suddenly froze, her small hand suspended in mid-air.

‘099, do you mean—in this world, two girls can really have a child together?!’

‘Of course. After all, this is a cultivation world. In cultivation realms, magic realms, and even late-stage technological worlds, same-s*x reproduction is common. This world is naturally no exception.’

099 explained earnestly, but then suddenly realized a problem, its voice abruptly rising. ‘Wait, Host, you didn’t even read this part of the script before urging me to transmigrate you as the daughter of the female lead and the female villain, did you?!’

But at this moment, Hua Xiangrong could no longer hear 099’s words. Her hand, holding the pastry, was suspended in mid-air.

Her entire being seemed to be frozen, but inside, gongs and drums were clanging, and a whole field of brilliant fireworks had exploded.

‘Wahahahahaha! 099, I love you to death! This is simply a paradise for yuri! Hahahahahahaha!’

Just as 099 was about to scold its Host, Protector Liu, who had been away from the hall for some time, happened to walk in, followed by a red-haired man carrying a birdcage.

“Oh, Grandmother, whose child is this? So adorable.”

Hua Yan had just entered the hall when his eyes fell upon the pink-haired little girl in his grandmother’s arms. He couldn’t help but ask out of curiosity.

“Hmph! You still have the nerve to ask? Get down on your knees for this old woman!”

Hua Yuheng saw his frivolous demeanor and felt a surge of anger. A wave of oppressive spiritual pressure descended directly upon him.

‘Huh? I just picked up a bird, is it really that serious?’

Hua Yan was utterly bewildered, but years of experience in getting into trouble and being punished kept him from hesitating. He immediately set the birdcage aside and dropped to his knees with a thud.

‘Hmph, that’s more like it.’

Seeing her only grandson kneel so promptly, Hua Yuheng’s anger subsided by two points. But when she looked down and met the innocent, blinking eyes of Hua Xiangrong in her arms, the flame of anger flared up again.

‘No! I almost got fooled by this rascal again! When has he ever admitted his mistakes quickly and obediently, only to forget them the next moment? This old woman won’t fall for that trick today!’

‘Today, I must avenge Little Rongrong and her mother!’

“Hua Yan,” her voice deepened, “do you know what mistake you’ve made?”

‘Wait… Great-Grandmother called him… Hua Yan?!’

Upon hearing this, Hua Xiangrong’s inner world instantly crumbled.

‘099! You better explain this clearly! Why would Great-Grandmother call this man ‘Hua Yan’! Am I not the female villain’s child?! What exactly is going on?!’

‘Uh… th-this…’ 099’s data flow became chaotic for a moment. ‘This shouldn’t be. I… I strictly followed the operating manual, so theoretically, there shouldn’t be any errors… How could Hua Yan be a man?’

Sensing the Host’s somewhat崩溃 emotions, 099 quickly tried to soothe her. ‘Host, calm down! Let’s observe first! After all… after all, Hua Yan is a major villain who only appears in the mid-to-late stages of the book. Perhaps… perhaps this person in front of us is a woman disguised as a man?’

‘Aaaaaah—I’ll trust you one more time! If he really is a man, 099, you’re dead!’

Regardless of the intense inner conversation between Hua Xiangrong and 099, Hua Yan, kneeling below, listened to his grandmother’s words and felt the undiminished spiritual pressure. He couldn’t help but be stunned.

‘No way, it actually had no effect at all? Grandmother is really that angry this time? Could it be… not because of this bird…?’

Hua Yan glanced at the golden-winged magpie again. Immediately, adhering to his experience of “if you’ve made a mistake, admit it quickly,” he loudly declared, “Grandmother, I truly know I was wrong!”

“Oh? What was your mistake?”

Hua Yuheng gently set down the child in her arms, slowly stood up, and asked with a deep, lingering tone.

“My mistake was picking up this bird from the roadside! Who knew whose spiritual pet it was!”

Seeing his grandmother’s increasingly somber expression, Hua Yan inwardly thought, ‘Sure enough, it’s not just that,’ and quickly continued to admit his wrongs. “I also erred by secretly plucking the branches of the Azure Jade Willow from Sister Liu’s courtyard this month!”

“What?! So those branches were plucked by you, Young Master? I thought it was Elder Sun’s spiritual beast that gnawed on them!”

Hearing Protector Liu’s exclamation beside him and feeling the spiritual pressure on him grow heavier, Hua Yan inwardly sighed, ‘This is bad,’ and immediately began confessing like beans spilling from a bamboo tube.

“I erred last month by stealing the thousand-year ginseng spirit purchased by the pharmacy!”

Hua Yuheng’s hand slowly reached for the discipline ruler on the table.

“I erred the month before last by beating the Saintess of the Corpse Yin Sect!”

Hua Yuheng caressed the discipline ruler, walking step by step from the dais.

“I… I erred the month before the month before last, by secretly stealing a jar of your newly brewed Glazed Flower Tea!”

“I really didn’t expect you, you rascal, to cause me so much trouble, did I?”

Hua Yuheng’s hand rested on Hua Yan’s shoulder, a fake smile gracing her face.

“It’s just a shame, it’s still not right.”

“Th-this still isn’t right?”

Hua Yan looked at the discipline ruler that had been used to beat him since childhood, swallowed hard, and asked with a trembling voice, “Th-that, Grandmother, before you beat me, could you please let me understand what, what trouble I’ve caused this time?”

“You still have the nerve to ask?! Can’t you see your daughter?!”

A sudden, invisible force struck. Hua Yan’s body instantly lost control, and he was lifted horizontally into the air, face down. At the same time, Hua Yuheng’s discipline ruler landed with a resounding “Smack!” squarely on his bottom.

“Waaahhh! Daughter? What daughter?!”

Hua Yan felt a searing pain on his rear, and tears immediately welled up in his eyes.

“Still daring to play dumb with this old woman! Isn’t that her, right there on the dais?!”

“Smack!” Another heavy blow.

Hua Yan shrieked, tears streaming down his face as he looked up at the little pink-haired, pink-dressed girl holding fruits behind the table.

“That’s not right, Grandmother! I’ve never even taken a Dao companion! Where would a daughter come from?!”

“Is that so? Then why don’t you try using our valley’s bloodline secret technique?” Hua Yuheng stopped her hand movements and said ominously from the side.

Hua Yan froze, then immediately activated the bloodline detection technique as instructed, probing towards the little girl on the dais—

The feedback from the secret technique clearly told him that she was indeed his daughter, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

“Impossible! I’m still a pure, unblemished man! How could I have a daughter?!”

“You ask this old woman? Who should this old woman ask?!”

“Smack!” Accompanied by a shriek, another ruler strike landed fiercely on Hua Yan’s bottom.

“Rongrong, tell this heartless man what your mother’s name is!”

Hua Yuheng angrily looked up and shouted towards Hua Xiangrong, who was still nibbling on fruits on the dais.

“Mm!”

Hua Xiangrong saw this, put down the fruits in her hand, and nodded vigorously.

“My mother’s name is Yun Xueshang!”

‘Wait, Yun Xueshang?!’

Upon hearing that name, Hua Yan instantly forgot the sharp pain in his backside and abruptly lifted his head.

“You said your mother is that woman Yun Xueshang?!”

His violent reaction, in the eyes of Hua Yuheng, who held the discipline ruler, was undoubtedly an admission of his guilt.

“Smack!”

“You brat, you still dare to say you don’t know her mother!”

“Wait! Grandmother, listen to my explanation! Ouch!”

“Smack!”

“Abandoning your wife and child, seducing and then discarding! You’re capable of such a thing! Listen to your explanation? If this old woman believes a single word of your nonsense today, I’ll stop being surnamed Hua!”

“That’s not it! Grandmother! It’s not like that at all! Ouch!”

“Smack!”

“Still daring to say it’s not! You’re a grown man, if it wasn’t you bullying that woman, could it be that she bullied you?!”

“That’s right! That’s exactly what happened! Grandmother, you’re finally willing to listen to me—Ouch!”

“Smack!”

“This old woman is still listening to you! Why don’t you say that you are a woman, and that Rongrong’s mother took liberties with you!”

“That’s right! She was the one who bullied me back then!”

With a muffled ‘Thud!’, a puff of green smoke suddenly billowed around Hua Yan. When the green smoke dissipated, everyone looked again to find the red-haired man gone, replaced by a stunning young woman, nine-tenths identical to him, wrapped in a brocade robe that was clearly more than one size too large, crying torrents of tears.

“Yes! She was the one who turned me into this on the Yin-Yang Platform of the Joyful Union Sect back then! Wuwuwu… Clearly… clearly she was the one who bullied me!”

Hua Yan’s beautiful golden eyes were now swollen red like lanterns, snot and tears smearing his pitiful face, making him an utterly pitiable sight.