Chapter 39: Seeds of Doubt

Now that negotiations with the government had fallen through, I had no choice but to escape the Association on my own.
The contract with the Association was indeed a rash decision.
But at the time I took the guide grade test, I only had two options: go to an overseas association, or sign a contract with the domestic one.

I had no intention of going to an overseas association in the first place, so I decided on the domestic one and made the guide contract for five years.

While at the Association, I tried to find a way to completely cut ties with Hyun Taewoon and live as the civilian Lee Shinui, not a guide.
But contrary to my thoughts, he kept hovering around me, and I was told by the Association and the government that I could no longer live as a civilian.

Nevertheless, I still wanted to believe that I could go back to how things were.
And I came to the conclusion that in order to become a civilian, I had to distance myself from Espers and guides.

For now, since all eyes were on me, I thought I should plan my escape from the Association while living at the Center.
And so, I returned to my life as an Association guide.

I was doing machine guiding training as usual.
A small commotion was heard from the monitoring room.
When I opened the door, Dr. Yoon and Jinseok were talking.
However, their raised voices and pointing fingers made it look like they were fighting, no matter how I looked at it.

“Dr. Yoon, you do not have the authority to enter here.”

“I am the general manager of the research wing.”

“I am in charge of Guide Shinui, and I manage him, Dr. Yoon.”

Their words and actions were getting more and more heated, so in the end, I had no choice but to intervene to mediate.

“What’s going on?”

“Guide-nim, it’s nothing. Please go back into the training room.”

Jinseok was surprised to see me and told me to go back into the training room, but at the same time, Dr. Yoon approached me with a friendly face.

“Guide Shinui, I came to talk to you in person.”

Jinseok repeatedly told me to go back in, but since Dr. Yoon was the one who had helped me before the regression, I couldn’t ignore him.

“What is it?”

“I want to apologize for my rudeness last time.”

I knew it was an apology for the time of the matching test with Hyun Taewoon.
Knowing that he had no choice but to follow the Association’s orders, I shook my head and said.

“It’s okay if it’s about that.”

“Still, I would like to treat you to a meal as a sign of my apology. I’d like to talk as well.”

I had no desire to be on bad terms with him, and I thought it would be nice to have a meal and talk with him after a long time, so I nodded.

“Then, I understand.”

“You can’t!”

Jinseok, who was next to me, suddenly shouted, and I was startled without realizing it.
It was the first time I had seen him so agitated, so I was a little flustered.

“There was a word from the Association to refrain from going out for the time being.”

“I will speak to the Association about that. Then how about this evening?”

“That sounds good.”

I nodded, looking at Jinseok’s face.
He was already shaking his head, with sweat on his forehead.
I didn’t know why he was acting like that, but he had a face that wanted to stop me from having a meal with Dr. Yoon.

Soon, Dr. Yoon, satisfied with having made an appointment with me, left the monitoring room without any lingering attachment.

As soon as he left, Jinseok looked at me with a worried face and said.

“Can’t you cancel the dinner appointment?”

It was just a meal, but I couldn’t understand his desperate appearance.

“Why?”

“Nothing good will come from getting involved with him.”

He was the one who had helped me become an A-Class Guide, and he was like a mentor to me.
That’s why Jinseok’s actions of preventing me from meeting with him now seemed strange.

“That’s for me to judge.”

“First, I hope you’ll cancel today’s appointment.”

“Why? I’m going.”

Jinseok was fidgety at my firm attitude.
At that, I finally said a word.

“Don’t you think you’ve been going too far since last time?”

“I’m saying this for your sake, Guide-nim.”

Come to think of it, his more desperate than usual appearance had been strange for a while.

“If there’s a reason why I shouldn’t have dinner with him, please tell me.”

“I can’t go into detail, but he’s definitely not a good person for you.”

“Even if you say that, I can’t be convinced if I don’t know the reason.”

“…Then are you going to go as planned?”

“Yes.”

If Jinseok didn’t give me a reason to refuse dinner with him, I had no choice but to go.

“Then let me accompany you.”

I also had trouble moving around alone, and his unspoken circumstances weighed on my mind, so I couldn’t refuse this time.

“I understand.”

When evening came, Jinseok and I went to a Korean restaurant near the Center with Dr. Yoon.

Unlike Jinseok, who kept glancing at him and observing something, he didn’t seem to mind Jinseok.

“Guide Shinui, I hope you’ll forgive my rudeness last time.”

“It wasn’t your fault to begin with. It’s okay.”

“I’m just grateful that you say so.”

His gaze, which had been smiling, moved to Jinseok for the first time.
The smile disappeared from his face.

“I’d like to talk with Guide Shinui alone. Would you mind leaving us for a moment?”

“I can’t.”

Jinseok said flatly.
I realized that a smooth conversation would be difficult as long as he was here and asked for his understanding.

“Can I visit you in your lab next time?”

“If you would, I would be grateful. I think that would be better than talking here.”

At my words, he nodded and then asked about my life at the Center.

Come to think of it, I remembered that he had comforted me every time I was having a hard time because of Hyun Taewoon.
I talked comfortably with him, just like before the regression.

After the uncomfortable meal, in the car on the way home, Jinseok said in a low voice.

“Guide-nim.”

“Yes.”

“Never get involved with him.”

“Manager-nim, do you have a grudge against him or something?”

He didn’t answer my question, but I could tell just by looking at the expression he had when he looked at him that he had a grudge.

“He has never harmed me, so I don’t think I need to stay away from him.”

“That’s probably because you don’t know his true nature.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing. We’ve arrived.”

Before I knew it, we had arrived in front of the apartment’s main entrance.
He said, breathing low as if to calm his anger.

“I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

“Okay. Get home safely.”

As I watched his car drive away, I mulled over what he had said just before.

‘That’s probably because you don’t know his true nature.’

I didn’t know why Jinseok was trying to drive a wedge between me and him.
Or the reason for badmouthing him.

If they were fellow researchers, they should be on friendly terms, but it was certain that something had happened between them.
But if Jinseok continued to drag me into his personal feelings, I could no longer trust him.

I was training with Jihwon in the C-Class Guide training room.
The hallway became noisy.

When I went outside, an irregular wavelength was raging.
It was a similar wavelength to when Hyun Taewoon went on a rampage, but it was weaker.

“What’s going on?”

“I think there was a problem during training.”

Jihwon and I approached the B-Class training room and observed the situation.
I saw a B-Class Esper using his abilities indiscriminately because he couldn’t control them properly.

The Esper, who was emitting an irregular wavelength while using his abilities in succession, eventually lost consciousness and collapsed.

The thought of helping came first.
Since I had stopped a rampage before, I would be better than other guides.
I squeezed through the crowd and said.

“I’ll help.”

At my words, people moved far away from the collapsed Esper.
Since most of them had never seen an S-Class guide’s guiding, they all watched me with worried yet curious eyes.

Since I had been dealing with S-Classes like him and Sung Yohan, calming a B-Class Esper’s wavelength was easy.
The Esper’s face was a mess of tears and snot, and his entire body was cracked and his veins were all bulging from overuse of his abilities.
He must have been in pain.
He must have also felt the fear of death.

“It’s okay.”

I took the Esper’s hand and tried to guide.
How could he have gone on a rampage when his wavelength was so calm?

He might not have been an Esper for long.

“Can you check the guiding level?”

“Yes.”

A man who looked like a training trainer hurriedly brought a guiding level measuring device.

“He’s still in the danger zone.”

I guided the Esper until he reached the crisis zone, and when it passed 40%, I let go of his hand and told them to take good care of him.

When I stood up, people made way for me to leave.
When I was a B-Class, I hadn’t thought of helping any Esper other than him.
But after becoming an S-Class and realizing that my abilities had entered the realm of special, I wanted to help anyone who needed it.

After this day, for some reason, the rumor spread, and in the rumors, I had become a person with a self-sacrificing spirit like Mother Teresa.
It seemed the guides and Espers were touched by the sight of me, an S-Class, immediately rushing over when a B-Class Esper’s rampage occurred.

But he and Sung Yohan didn’t seem to like that side of me.
The two of them, who wanted to monopolize me, reacted immediately the next day.