Chapter 43: Pity Me No Longer

Silence fell between them.

Jin-yeop’s expression was one of disbelief, while Eun-ru’s face as he looked at him was endlessly tender.

“…Is this, is this the conclusion you reached seriously?”

At Jin-yeop’s question, Eun-ru nodded.

“You said you knew how miserable it felt to be used.

So instead of being used, I’m going to make it so you can’t use me.”

“Eunru-ah.”

“If you fall in love with me, you’ll never be able to do that.”

“…”

“I think you’re that kind of person, Jin-yeop-ssi.”

Even though he wanted to get angry, saying that wasn’t something you could conclude with that kind of guess, Jin-yeop simply couldn’t.

For some reason, he stared intently at Eun-ru’s face as he looked down at him with firm, upright eyes, his hands clenched into tight fists, damp with sweat.

His body stiffened with tension, and his heart pounded loudly.

He was too flustered to nitpick where that feeling came from, what the source of the favor Eun-ru held for him was.

And as if possessed, Jin-yeop moved his lips.

“Guiding.”

“…”

“Do today’s guiding.”

“…How shall I do it?”

Eun-ru faithfully adhered to the contract’s condition: guiding would only be done in the way Jin-yeop wanted.

So how to do it was Jin-yeop’s decision.

Jin-yeop walked past Eun-ru and stood before the door.

His hand, entering the password and pushing down the handle, was trembling pitifully.

Soon, as they entered the entrance and the front door closed behind Eun-ru’s broad shoulders, Jin-yeop clung to Eun-ru and kissed him.

A gentle breeze carrying warmth enveloped his entire body, then seeped into his chest, making it surge.

Eun-ru wrapped his arms around Jin-yeop’s waist as he clung to him and deeply responded to the kiss.

The urgent breaths gasped between their briefly parting lips felt almost regrettable, as the desperate contact continued.

They hurriedly took off their shoes and stepped into the dark house.

As if by mutual agreement, their discarded jackets fell to the floor, tangled messily.

Eun-ru, who had been supporting Jin-yeop’s half-bent waist, slowly pulled his lips away from the palm of Jin-yeop’s hand pushing against his chest and looked at him.

Even in that darkness, his dark eyes were shining.

His eyes seemed to be glistening with tears, and Eun-ru cupped Jin-yeop’s cheeks, Jin-yeop’s hands covering his.

“Eunru-ah.

Pity me.”

Amidst the crying mixed with ragged breaths, Eun-ru lifted Jin-yeop into his arms and declared.

“I won’t pity you.”

“…”

“I will love you.”

Jin-yeop wrapped his arms around Eun-ru’s neck, buried his face in his shoulder, and gasped for breath.

It felt like his breath would stop.

He felt like he wouldn’t mind suffocating like this.

He couldn’t fathom anything in detail.

He had absolutely no mental room to question reasons or processes.

Because Lee Eun-ru had filled him completely.

The sole culprit was Lee Eun-ru, who had burrowed inside him as if not allowing even the slightest gap.

“You remember the contract, right?

If you don’t want it, we won’t do it.

But instead.”

“…”

“If you want to stop, now is the only time.”

He felt the soft touch of the bed mattress behind his back.

He knew the extent of Eun-ru’s words about not stopping.

“Eunru-ah, that’s my line.

If you want to stop, now is the only time.”

“I’ve never stopped once.”

“…”

“Even if you cry and beg, it won’t work.”

Jin-yeop quietly reached out and stroked Eun-ru’s cheek.

At this, Eun-ru unhesitatingly lowered himself onto Jin-yeop.

Their moist lips met, and even the breath he tried to exhale all disappeared into Eun-ru’s mouth.

Cold fingers brushed against his skin, legs intertwined.

Thud, thud, clothes piled up like overlapping layers beneath the bed.

The sorrow he had accumulated over time burst forth, and Jin-yeop wept profusely within the warmth of Eun-ru that overflowed around him.

And each of those cries was completely taken by Eun-ru before they could even sound in the air.

Eun-ru’s body was cold.

Because he had been waiting outside for him for a long time.

But the warmth from Jin-yeop’s hands, touching various parts of his skin as they passed over his shoulders and arms, transferred to him, quickly heating him up.

It was urgent, yet simultaneously tender.

Warmth was embedded in every soothing, coaxing touch.

Eun-ru’s hands were cold, but everywhere they touched burned hot, not cold at all.

A sweet, long kiss followed.

As Eun-ru had said, that he wouldn’t stop even if he cried and begged, he held Jin-yeop in his arms and had no intention of letting him go.

The contact was tearful throughout.

Jin-yeop shed tears continuously, his cheeks never drying.

Each time, Eun-ru stroked his cheeks and kissed his wet eyelashes.

Pleasant with the soothing, coaxing touches, Jin-yeop exhaled and clung to Eun-ru, who let out a low sigh and deeply delved into Jin-yeop.

They interlocked seamlessly.

As if a loose cog had finally found its place, Jin-yeop fell into the illusion that the empty corner of his heart was being filled.

So he forcefully held onto Eun-ru’s body, which was almost too big to fully embrace, and begged him not to let go.

Eun-ru did not ignore even a bit of Jin-yeop’s childish act.

How far was the range for receiving guiding?

Jin-yeop thought, clinging to his precarious, almost breaking reason amidst the dizzying sensations enveloping him.

Could even a heart that had shattered and was liable to scatter helplessly with a single breath be restored?

And if it somehow regained its original shape, could it become a size and shape worthy of being passed on to Eun-ru?

But that deep anguish evaporated and flew away.

Before it was cast over them in the deep dawn, before Jin-yeop passed out into sleep.

***

When Jin-yeop opened his eyes, he was wearing a comfortable t-shirt and shorts.

His body was clean, without a single unpleasant spot.

It seemed Eun-ru had washed him last night.

At this, Jin-yeop’s ears burned hot.

Fortunately, there was no one beside him.

He was glad this sight hadn’t been seen, but at the same time, seeing the empty spot next to him made him feel somehow lonely.

Gazing quietly at the empty space, Jin-yeop placed his feet on the floor.

As he slowly stood up, his body felt heavy, as if he had a fever.

It wasn’t a dream.

The traces of that time remained intact on his body.

When he slowly walked and opened the bedroom door, a sweet, savory smell touched the tip of his nose.

“You’re awake?”

At that voice, Jin-yeop went out to the living room and entered the kitchen.

There was Eun-ru, wearing that bizarre pink apron again, holding a spatula and smiling.

The moment he saw him, Jin-yeop felt a strange sense of relief, and that fact made him let out a disbelieving laugh.

“Don’t laugh.

I didn’t have time to buy another apron.”

“No, that’s not it…”

“Then why!”

“Because it suits you.”

“I know that’s a lie.”

Eun-ru’s cheeks puffed up again as he placed the bacon and eggs he’d been cooking onto a plate and asked.

“Do you want toast for breakfast?

Or rice is fine too.”

“I’ll eat whatever you give me.”

Saying that, as he tried to pull out a chair and sit, Jin-yeop frowned at the cushion that caught his eye.

Eun-ru, who had been humming a tune and setting down the plates, looking overjoyed, cleared his throat when he saw Jin-yeop frozen.

“That was already there.”

“It wasn’t here.”

“I brought it from the study.”

At those words, Jin-yeop lifted his head and glared at Eun-ru.

“Are you getting back at me?

For teasing you about the apron?”

“How is this revenge?

I thought you might be, um, uncomfortable.”

“…So you know what you did.”

“I warned you clearly.”

Despite Jin-yeop’s glare of disbelief, Eun-ru paid no mind, approached, pulled the chair back slightly, and gestured with his eyes for him to sit quickly.

Jin-yeop had no choice but to sit, and Eun-ru carefully pushed the chair in and sat across from him.

“You wouldn’t have had bread or these things at home.”

“I bought them at the mart.”

“Why didn’t you buy an apron?”

“I couldn’t find one that fit.”

“…”

“Ah, don’t laugh!”

Sitting across from him, the front of the apron, looking like it might rip again, was right before his eyes, and Jin-yeop couldn’t hold back his laughter.

When he eventually covered his mouth and started chuckling, Eun-ru grumbled and then, unable to stand it, laughed too.

“Since you like it, I’ll just keep wearing this from now on.”

“Who said I like it?”

“You laugh more at my apron than you do at me, you know?”

“…”

“If I want to keep seeing that face, I have to make you laugh, what choice do I have?”

Eun-ru pushed the plate with the beautifully fried, unbroken yolk towards Jin-yeop.

“I’m strangely bad at making fried eggs.”

“You did a good job, it’s pretty?”

“Don’t even mention it.

I probably ate about five while cooking.”

“Aren’t you full?”

“Yes.”

“You’re going to have to earn a lot of money.”

Jin-yeop said this and raised his warm coffee cup.

“To support you.”

Watching Jin-yeop drop a bombshell and then shamelessly take a sip of coffee, Eun-ru said with his mouth agape.

“That’s cool.”

“A fly will get in your mouth.”

“…You’re no fun.”

“I know.”

Jin-yeop put down his cup and picked up his utensils.

Looking at the golden-brown toast, bacon, and eggs, he smiled and gazed at Eun-ru.

“You saw the article, didn’t you?”

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