Chapter 44: Fright

Yu Xi felt as though his entire body was being tightly embedded into the man’s chest. The two palms gripping his shoulders were dominant and forceful, and the scalding body temperature radiating through the fabric carried a searing sensation akin to a burn.

There was certainly room to struggle, yet Yu Xi’s mind went entirely blank. His hands were devoid of strength, and his calves were still trembling.

Staring into the irises of the man behind him, he detected a sensation that was both unfamiliar and dangerous. He was scared half to death, completely frozen in place like a rabbit pinned down by its natural predator.

He couldn’t articulate where his sense of dread originated. Clearly, this man was the very existence among his friends who made him feel the most secure and dependent…

Following that, he heard Gu Chuanzhou inquire in his usual soft tone, “Why isn’t Xi Xi speaking? Your little face has turned completely pale like this.”

“…I,” after a long lapse, Yu Xi’s dry throat finally succeeded in producing a voice, “I didn’t enter on purpose. I’m sorry.”

Gu Chuanzhou raised his eyebrows slightly. “Why are you apologizing? You are free to enter and exit any place in this apartment at will, let alone this room—”

Gu Chuanzhou’s gaze shifted upward, landing on the door that had already swung open. “It opened for you entirely on its own initiative, is that not obvious enough? Xi Xi was always meant to be the master of this place.”

Yu Xi’s voice shook: “I… I don’t really understand…”

“Xi Xi will understand once you step inside.” One of Gu Chuanzhou’s hands controlling Yu Xi’s shoulders slid downward, lifting Yu Xi’s left hand from underneath.

This gentlemanly posture—resembling a ballroom dance—ought to have been tender. In the next second, however, he forcefully wedged his fingers through the gaps of Yu Xi’s hand, locking them together tightly without offering the slightest opportunity to break free.

“Let’s go.”

Just like that, Yu Xi was led step by step closer to that pitch-black door, walking inside.

The exact moment his feet stepped across the threshold, the lights abruptly illuminated.

The glowing illumination significantly dispelled Yu Xi’s unease, but the moment he clearly beheld the sights within the room, his entire being froze once more.

The perfectly square space of the secret room wasn’t large. Yu Xi instantly noticed the most conspicuous wall, thoroughly shocked by the densely packed photographs of various sizes plastered across it. The most terrifying part was that he harbored absolutely no memory of a large portion of these photos, entirely unaware of when they had even been taken.

The photo placed directly in the central position featured him in his attire from when he attended the Zhang family gathering. Similarly, he couldn’t recall when Gu Chuanzhou had ever taken a photo of him that day.

“These photos were all taken quite well, right?” Gu Chuanzhou led him toward the photo wall, his gaze roaming back and forth between the youth and the photographs before his jaw brushed against Yu Xi’s ear in an ambiguous manner. “But no matter how well they are taken, they cannot capture even one-ten-thousandth of our Xi Xi’s beauty.”

Yu Xi felt as though his throat was entirely blocked, unable to utter a word.

“There is more.” Gu Chuanzhou turned him around, gesturing for him to look at the cabinets built along the other three walls.

Only then did Yu Xi discover that the items within the cabinets were equally extraordinary.

The cabinets had all been deliberately constructed with glass doors for display purposes, allowing everything to be seen at a single glance. Yu Xi spotted the most familiar items instantly.

Two grass-woven grasshoppers were placed side by side. One was withered and yellow, while the other was a vibrant jade green.

Yu Xi had indeed gifted Gu Chuanzhou many grass-woven items, but… why were there two grasshoppers?

“You didn’t gift me one when we were children.” Gu Chuanzhou had already detected his bewilderment, answering ahead of him. “The other children all had one, I was the only one who didn’t receive it.”

Yu Xi’s eyelashes trembled. “You didn’t say anything, I thought you didn’t want one…”

“I don’t mean to blame you at all, I only blame myself.” Gu Chuanzhou lowered his eyes as he fell into recollection. “Back then, I could be considered… insecure, or perhaps cowardly. The you back then was very distant toward me, and I didn’t dare speak up to ask you for one.”

Yu Xi was stunned.

Insecure, cowardly? He had never dared to associate these two words with the remarkably capable Gu Chuanzhou, nor had he ever imagined that the Gu Chuanzhou of back then possessed such feelings—even worrying that Yu Xi might look down on his own ragged and sloppy grass-woven grasshopper.

“This was originally a gift you gave to Meng Liang. He didn’t cherish it, so I stole it away, pretending that I possessed one just like everyone else.”

A sudden realization hit Yu Xi. So that was how it happened…

“But compared to the others, the gifts you gave me were very few. I have properly collected every single one of them. For instance, this flower—do you still remember it? Even though it was just something you plucked casually when you came to see me, I loved it just the same.”

Gu Chuanzhou released Yu Xi’s shoulders, opening the cabinet door to pick up the small yellow flower sealed inside a glass jar.

Aside from its color being slightly faded, the flower looked exactly as though it were still alive, miraculously preserved for twelve full years.

Yu Xi stared blankly. Only now did he recall that Gu Chuanzhou’s WeChat profile picture featured exactly this flower. Because too much time had passed, he had nearly forgotten about it entirely.

Following this, Gu Chuanzhou led him along to revisit and review each item one by one.

“This… is something you threw away and I picked back up. Since Xi Xi didn’t want it anymore, it should be fine for me to keep it, right? And this scarf—it’s the one Xi Xi forgot to take back last time. Every single day, I want to take a breath to catch its scent…”

“I originally bid on this emerald solely for you, thinking that one day you would be able to wear it. Aside from that, everything inside this jewelry cabinet exists entirely for you.”

From old items from twelve years ago—such as the cellophane wrappers left behind from gifted candies—to his own accidentally left-behind scarf from not long ago.

What Yu Xi found the most unbearable was that even his own personal items were displayed among them.

Surrounded by this environment, the initial shock transitioned into a swelling panic that grew alongside the items. With every single piece he looked at, his heartbeat quickened by another beat per second.

By the time he came before the wardrobe and saw what was stored inside, his legs turned so weak he could barely maintain his footing.

“…Look, I saw this dress when I passed by a display window not long ago. It’s very cute. I knew without even thinking that it would suit you beautifully, so I bought it and brought it back.” Gu Chuanzhou selected a sky-blue one, holding it up against Yu Xi’s frame. His face pressed close against the youth’s, utilizing the glass cabinet door to study Yu Xi’s terror-filled yet increasingly beautiful features, his expression thoroughly satisfied. “Doesn’t it complement you beautifully?”

Yu Xi didn’t dare look at what his reflected self looked like, much less look at the expression of Gu Chuanzhou, who was pressed tightly against him. The tone Gu Chuanzhou used to speak to him remained deep and tender, yet the abnormal affection hidden within every single sentence made his skin crawl.

“I gathered all of these for you, do you like them?”

Yu Xi’s breathing grew increasingly ragged, his hands trembling harder and harder. He bit his own lips until they were red and swollen, resembling a ripe, plump cherry that would burst with juice at the slightest suction.

He shook his head. Finally summoning the courage to struggle, he wrenched his hand free from Gu Chuanzhou’s tight grip and turned his frame around to escape the man’s chest. Just as he intended to say something, his vision suddenly caught a glimpse of a certain area, and he was struck speechless by the fright once more.

In an instant, the tears that had been welling in his eyes rolled down in torrents.

“Why are you crying?” Gu Chuanzhou extended a hand, intending to help Yu Xi wipe away his tears, but he was dodged.

Yu Xi’s back pressed tightly against the glass cabinet door. His wary gaze flew rapidly across the area beneath Gu Chuanzhou’s abdomen, and he let out a violent shudder, terrified once more by the staggeringly vigorous desire directed toward him from that spot. His tears fell even more violently, and he squatted down, curling himself into a tight ball.

Understanding the situation, Gu Chuanzhou ceased his approach, offering a humble and low-voiced apology.

Yet this reaction only provoked an even greater surge of panic within Yu Xi.

The moment Yu Xi opened his mouth, he let out a crying hiccup. Forcefully wiping his tears with one hand, he spoke between hitching sobs, “I… I want to go home.”

Gu Chuanzhou pondered for two seconds. “But it is already very late right now.”

Yu Xi merely shook his head and repeated himself, resembling a snail pulling entirely back into its shell, rejecting everything from the outside world. “I want to go home, I don’t want to stay here.”

After a long silence, Gu Chuanzhou—knowing in his heart that he shouldn’t push the youth too tightly—made a compromise.

However, he refused to allow Yu Xi to take a taxi back alone. He called over his own chauffeur, watching with his own eyes as the youth entered the vehicle.

“Send me a message when you arrive at the Pei residence.”

Crouched tightly in the rear passenger seat, Yu Xi didn’t lift his head even once, merely using a tearful voice to beg the driver uncle to drive faster.

It wasn’t until the car roared into motion that he dared to steal a glance through the rearview mirror.

The man—whose illness had not fully cleared—stood amidst the freezing wind to watch him off, wearing nothing more than a thin set of pajamas.

Meanwhile, before being sent into the car, Yu Xi had not only been bundled up in a scarf but had also been layered with an additional overcoat.

Yu Xi sniffled, glancing at the scarf around his neck that he didn’t know how many times the man had caught the scent of. Filled with resentment, he yanked it off. He rolled down the car window, intending to throw it outside, but ultimately couldn’t bring himself to do it.

This scarf was old, but he had bought it with the money he earned from hard part-time work.

Forget it, he would just treat it as though it had been snatched away by a dog for a few days. Once it was dirty, he could just wash it; a good scarf was very expensive…

Sobbing, Yu Xi silently rolled the car window back up.

Seeing him crying so pitifully, the chauffeur upfront handed over a tissue to comfort him.

Belatedly realizing it was a bit embarrassing to be seen crying like this, Yu Xi wiped away his tears and nose, muttering a muffled thank you.

He sorted out his emotions before returning to the Pei residence, welcomed into the house by Aunt Pei, who hadn’t gone to sleep yet.

“Why did you rush back to sleep so suddenly? How do I remember you still have classes tomorrow morning? Will you be able to make it back in time like this…” Pei Lexin held his hands, helping him warm them up. “Did you catch a chill? Your eyes and nose are both frozen red, you absolutely mustn’t catch a cold.”

Pei Lexin hurriedly instructed Aunt Wan to brew some ginger soup to dispel the cold for Yu Xi.

Amidst the care, Yu Xi’s chaotic state of mind gradually smoothed over piece by piece. After finishing the ginger soup, he took a hot bath, curling into the warm fleece blanket in a state of utter exhaustion.

Too many things had transpired throughout the day, coupled with the fright he had sustained; he fell asleep very quickly.

He didn’t sleep well, plagued by a bizarre and shifting dream.

One moment he dreamed of Gu Chuanzhou’s terrifying collection room; the next moment he dreamed of Gu Chuanzhou catching a chill after sending him downstairs, causing his fever to recur violently as he collapsed inside the apartment with no one to care for him, ultimately being wheeled into the emergency room by an ambulance.

Finally, he dreamed of that winter from his childhood.

It was a clear morning just after the snow had cleared. Holding a small yellow flower he had plucked from the Pei family greenhouse, he stepped all the way through the melting slush to slip inside the Gu family railings.

He knocked on the window of the study. The moment the person inside materialized, he delivered the flower in his hands through the window, flashing a bright smile as he said, “Brother Chuanzhou, look!”

Gu Chuanzhou accepted the flower. “Why are you gifting me this?”

Yu Xi smiled until his dimples showed, his eyes curling into crescents. “Mom said that when people see beautiful things, their mood turns better. I hope you can be a bit happier.”

“Is that so?” Gu Chuanzhou merely looked at him, already displaying a faint smile. “In truth, simply seeing Xi Xi is enough to make my mood turn better.”

“Our Xi Xi is far more beautiful than this flower.”

Hearing this, the young Yu Xi’s face turned incredibly red.

That was the first time he had ever received praise from Gu Chuanzhou.

Because Gu Chuanzhou was the most formidable and outstanding brother in his heart, this single phrase of praise far exceeded anyone else’s, sending his heart soaring with delight.

But… could someone please tell him why the older brother he had always looked up to would ultimately turn out like this?

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