Chapter 62: Ghosts of the Past

At the sudden presence of Hyun Taewoon’s wavelength, I hurriedly looked around, but he was nowhere in sight.
Still, just in case, I moved while surveying my surroundings.
As I walked, his wavelength grew fainter.

However, when I arrived at the Center, greeted the familiar security guard, and went inside, I felt his wavelength again.
Yet, he was still nowhere to be seen, which sparked a bit of annoyance.
It felt like he was secretly following me.

Without realizing it, I kept searching for his wavelength.
He only revealed himself after I moved to a deserted training room floor.

“Where were you just now?”

The moment he appeared, he interrogated me about my whereabouts. From his demeanor, I knew he had seen me with Sehyun.

“Why should I have to tell you?”

Hiding all this time and only showing himself when I was alone was the epitome of creepy. I glared at him and spoke.

“Your body is engulfed in the wavelength of that government person.”

“So what?”

“Were you with him yesterday by any chance?”

I knew telling him the truth would hurt him, so I nodded.

“Yes. I slept at Cha Sehyun-ssi’s place.”

“Why did you sleep at his house? You’re not close enough to stay over at each other’s places.”

“We are close. Since we’re close, we can sleep over together.”

“Shinui-ssi, please be a little more cautious and cherish your body. What will you do if you get imprinted?”

He must have known Sehyun and I hadn’t had sexual contact.
The book said Espers could tell whether a guide was imprinted or not.

“Hyun Taewoon-ssi, are you my lover? Stop interfering. Do you even intend to keep your promise not to bother me? This is why I dislike you.”

“Then what do I have to do to win your heart?”

“You will never win it.”

“Do you dislike me that much?”

I answered with my silence.
At that, the muscles in his face twitched and then hardened even more.

“Why do you dislike me? From the moment I first saw you, I thought it was fate and brought you to the Association. I don’t want to be disliked by you.”

“To you, anyone who’s an S-Class must seem like fate.”

“No. That’s not it.”

He pleaded, sending me a desperate gaze.
But I felt no sympathy, only a hardening of my heart.

“Shinui-ssi, I’m not a bad person. More than anyone here, I’m the one who wishes you well.”

“Why? Because I’m an S-Class? Do you think saying that will make me see you in a better light?”

At my words, he shook his head.
Then, with trembling lips, he continued.

“Because I like you.”

He said, his ears and face turning red.
But he still looked on the verge of tears.
His words felt sincere now, but I didn’t fully believe them, as it could have been an act to win my favor.

“Shinui-ssi, please open your heart to me just a little.”

He said, taking my hand.
Not wanting to be deceived anymore, I swatted his hand away and said.

“I told you not to touch my body.”

“I’m sorry…. And I have something to tell you. I’ve wanted to for a while, but I don’t know if you’ll believe me…”

I stared at him, wondering what grand story he was about to tell with such a dramatic pause.

“Actually, I…”

“Stop dragging it out and just say it.”

Despite my words, he just kept opening and closing his mouth.
It was just frustrating to watch.

“If you have nothing to say, can I go in?”

As I was about to enter the training room, he finally spoke.

“…You used to be my exclusive guide.”

I was going to enter the training room no matter what he said, but his words made me freeze in my tracks.
Then he continued.

“It might be hard to believe, but we lived together, and you liked me a lot.”

There was something I had been constantly thinking about.
The fantasy that if I had returned to the past, perhaps he had returned as well.
I had often thought that this fantasy might not be a fantasy at all.

“…When did you know that?”

I asked him back without realizing it.
The past days with him came to mind, and my thoughts quickly became tangled.

“Two months ago.”

Two months ago…
Suddenly, the day he came to me crying came to mind.
From then on, his behavior towards me had become cautious.

“It might sound like a lie, but I came from the future. The me from the future was a very mean and bad person to you, so maybe I’m being punished now.”

“……”

My mind was in chaos.
Seeing that I had returned to the past, it was entirely possible that he had returned as well, and from his words now, it seemed he had also regressed.

“Now, I want to treat you well and make you happy.”

I stopped thinking at his last words.
He wanted to make me happy, but the me who had wished for happiness with him had already died.

“Now, of all times…?”

“Yes, even if it’s now.”

I met his gaze with cold eyes.
I didn’t know how he had come to the past, but it was not a welcome situation, and I never wanted to go back to how things were.

“It’s already too late.”

“Don’t say that…. It’s not too late yet.”

“Then you should have treated me well before I died.”

Yes, he should have treated me well before I died.
At the very least, he shouldn’t have abandoned me when I was dying.
Whether he had returned before me or after, my feelings would not change now.

At my words, his face quickly hardened.
He looked at me with trembling eyes.
It was a face of disbelief.

“…By any chance, did you return too?”

He looked at me with a mixture of confusion and bewilderment.
At that sight, my heart became colder than ever.

“Shinui-ssi.”

“Now that you know, you can drop the ‘ssi,’ can’t you? Speak informally, like you used to.”

I thought there was no need to hide the fact that I had regressed anymore.
I was curious how he would react, and I wanted to end this tiresome relationship.

At my words, his eyes filled with tears again.
In the end, he lowered his head, his eyes turning red.

“You, how did you return to the past?”

Now, more than his crying, I was curious about how he had returned.
Since I had died and returned to the past, there was a high probability that he had too.

“I couldn’t accept your death…”

“You didn’t like me. You abandoned me and left. Did your heart change because I became an S-Class?”

The image of him acting so cruelly to me before I returned to the past came back to me.

“I didn’t abandon you. I was going to bring a Healer-class Esper.”

“I told you to stay with me!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Shinui. At that time, saving you was more important.”

The images of the past came back to me, and tears welled up in my eyes too.
Because the me from that time was so pitiful.

“Shinui, I-I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

He took my hands with his trembling ones.

“Please…. It’s my fault, I was wrong…. Let me ask for your forgiveness.”

He seemed to have fallen into a panic after hearing that I had also returned to the past.
His eyes, filled with pain, were out of focus, and his incessantly trembling hands were damp with cold sweat.

“Let go. You’re acting strange.”

The Hyun Taewoon in my memory was always cold and heartless.
I had no idea what change of heart had made him become like this.

“You and I were nothing. We were just exclusives, so why are you suddenly acting like this?”

“Because I was a fool…. I tormented you because of my pride.”

“You’re acting strange all of a sudden. Is it because I’m an S-Class now?”

Other than my grade going up, nothing had changed from before the regression, so I couldn’t guess the reason for his change at all.

“I’ve liked you for a long time.”

“Don’t lie. Is that how you treat someone you like?”

“I was too young and treated you badly. …I’m sorry.”

“You don’t like me.”

In the past, I had imagined him regretting his actions and begging for my forgiveness.
But now that I was actually seeing it, it wasn’t satisfying at all; rather, it was unpleasant.

“Shinui…”

“I don’t want to see you like this. To be honest, I didn’t even want to meet you.”

“You liked me. Do you not have any of those feelings left now?”

His voice trembled low with a sob.

“You seem to be misunderstanding something, but I’ve never told you that I liked you.”

I had never once told him that I liked him.
I had always swallowed it, afraid that he would hate me more.

“I know. But I know that you cared for me more than yourself.”

“Right. And that’s why I died.”

I don’t deny that I liked him.
But when I died that day, my feelings and my body for him also died.

“Hyun Taewoon.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t like you. To be honest, meeting and talking to you like this is disgusting and unpleasant.”

“Why…?”

“I died trying to save you. And as I died… my body, my heart, and my emotions all died too. Because of you.”

At my words, he finally broke down and sobbed on the spot.
From his heartbreaking sobs, I could feel a deep sense of guilt towards me.
Before his guilt could be transmitted to me, I turned my body.

“Now that you know, don’t come any closer.”

With those words, I entered the guide training room.
I still didn’t know how he had returned to the past.

My head was numb, and it felt like a dream.
But now, there would be no change in my relationship with him.
Because the feelings of love I had for him no longer existed.