Chapter 63: The Price of Ambition

“Brother, what are you thinking about?”

Wonjae, who had come up next to me on the sofa, asked cautiously.
My mind had been a tangled mess ever since my conversation with Hyun Taewoon this morning.

How had he returned to the past?
Was it even true that he had returned?
I still couldn’t believe it.

The image of him crying kept replaying in my mind.
He was a man who seemed like he wouldn’t flinch even if stabbed with a needle.
Seeing him cry like a child made my heart flutter.

To have my heart weakened by such a sight…
I reminded myself of the past Hyun Taewoon and steeled my resolve once more.
Then I forced a smile and answered Wonjae.

“I was thinking about how to lecture tomorrow.”

I had a guide lecture for Espers tomorrow.
Since I was the only S-Class Guide at the Seoul Center currently, I was in charge of the lecture.

“That’s a shame. If I were an Esper, I could have taken your lecture.”

“We train together every day.”

“Still!”

“Did your check-up go well yesterday?”

“I think it went better than I thought.”

He said, and then rested his head on my shoulder.

“I’m so happy to be alone with you after a long time. Can’t we just stay here?”

After yesterday’s incident where I was almost imprinted by Sung Yohan, I felt that I couldn’t live in the same house with him anymore.
But I couldn’t take Wonjae to Sehyun’s house either, so we ended up staying at an Association hotel.

“We’ll see after a few days.”

S and A-Classes could stay at the Association hotel for an unlimited period, so there were some Awakened who lived there.
Therefore, as he said, we could live here.

“Okay. I’m just so glad Sung Yohan isn’t here, hyung.”

I had lost sleep more than once or twice because of him.
I felt like I could sleep soundly today.

“Nothing happened yesterday, right?”

“Yeah. Nothing happened.”

The quick-witted Wonjae seemed to have noticed that something had happened with Sung Yohan as soon as I suggested staying at the hotel.
I didn’t tell him the truth, knowing it would only worry him.

Despite my words, he still had a suspicious look on his face.
At that, I had no choice but to say I was going to bed and avoid the situation.

I thought my feelings would have settled down to some extent by the next day, but my heart was still in turmoil as I headed to the Center.

As I was frowning the whole way, he looked at me with a worried face.

“Hyung, you don’t look well today either.”

“Do I?”

My condition must have been bad enough to show on my face.
I immediately relaxed my frown and smiled, but he still said cautiously with a worried expression.

“Yes. Are you perhaps worried because of the guiding lecture today?”

“A little. I’m nervous.”

It was true that I wasn’t in good condition, but I was also worried about the lecture today.

Today was the day I was giving a practical guiding lecture to the Espers.
It was a lecture on how to receive guiding smoothly from a guide.

“It’s a one-hour lecture, so it’ll be over quickly.”

“I hope so.”

When we arrived at the Center, he went to the training room, and I was guided by Jinseok to the lecture hall.
The inside was already full of Espers.

This lecture was in a format where I would pick three Espers and explain while personally guiding them.
They must have drawn lots in advance, as the host called out the lottery numbers.

“Number 22, number 57, number 12.”

The chosen Espers came up to the stage one by one.
The Espers who came up all had different uniforms.
It seemed they had been chosen without regard to grade.

Among the Espers on the stage, the C-Class Esper looked the most unconfident.
Seeing my old self in him, I approached him and said in a small voice.

“Don’t be nervous.”

At my words, the C-Class Esper looked at me with a surprised face.
I had spoken to him to tell him not to be nervous, but contrary to my intention, the Esper became even more tense, so I wondered if I should have approached him.

Soon, I took the microphone and explained about efficient guiding methods.

“First, you need to check the guiding level and choose a guiding method accordingly. And it’s important to find the guide’s wavelength. You can’t just connect blindly. The wavelength is more sensitive than you think, so if it’s rejected once, it’s difficult to connect.”

All the Espers listened to me with concentration.
At that, I also lectured diligently.

“It’s easier to handle the wavelength if you think of it as a crying child. It only calms down when you soothe and coax it.”

The Espers’ levels were displayed on the monitor installed next to me.
Perhaps because they had just come from training, their guiding levels were all low.

The A-Class Esper’s guiding level was 52%.
I started by giving the A-Class Esper remote guiding first.

As soon as I started guiding, the level went up by 1% per minute.
Since my grade was higher, I could easily subdue the wavelength with just remote guiding.

I just had to guide until it reached the calm zone of 60%.
I explained my own guiding know-how and finished the A-Class guide’s guiding.
And then I moved to the B-Class Esper.

This time, I tried first-level contact guiding.
I asked for the Esper’s understanding and held his hand.

As expected, the guiding level rose much faster with contact guiding.

I explained how Espers could help during contact guiding.
These were my own know-hows that I had acquired because of the difficult Hyun Taewoon for three years.

The C-Class Esper was still nervous.
For him, who was the last in line, I did second-level contact guiding.

“I will now attempt second-level contact guiding. Please don’t be surprised by the contact.”

The man and I were about the same height, so it was easy to hug.
As soon as I hugged him, the man’s body trembled incessantly.
Wondering if he was not feeling well, I pulled away and asked.

“Are you perhaps sick somewhere?”

“I-I’m… just nervous.”

“Relax. It’s just a practical exercise.”

“Y-yes.”

Despite my words, the man’s forehead was drenched in sweat from nervousness.

I waited with remote guiding until he got used to my wavelength, and then I tried second-level guiding again.
Fortunately, the man’s tense body gradually relaxed.

“This is the first time I’ve felt this…”

“It’s probably because my control ability is high that you feel that way.”

“No!”

The man suddenly shouted.
Feeling a bad premonition, I emitted a large amount of wavelength and quickly raised his guiding level.
As expected, contact with other people was awkward.

As soon as the level reached 60%, I was about to pull the man away, but he held onto my waist and showed no sign of letting go.

“Guiding is over.”

At my words, the man finally pulled away from me.

“Ah, ah! I’m sorry.”

After finishing the one-hour practical lecture with the C-Class Esper, I was coming out when I heard a voice calling me from behind.

“Guide Lee Shinui!”

When I turned around, it was the C-Class Esper I had just guided.

“What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you felt the same thing as me when you were guiding.”

“What? What kind of feeling?”

The guiding I did today all felt similar.
The wavelength and the guiding were all ordinary.

“…Fate… a feeling of…”

The man’s voice was so small that I couldn’t hear him well, so I asked him again, but the man, with his face flushed red, couldn’t look at my face properly.

“Can’t I have a matching test with you?”

It seemed he had liked the guiding I did today, but he, a C-Class, would probably not be able to have a matching test with me.
First of all, the grade difference was too great.
I had had a matching test with Hyun Taewoon before the regression, but that was possible because my grade hadn’t come out yet.

“Please inquire with the Association regarding the matching test.”

“Ah, the Association…!”

“Then I’ll be on my way.”

“Yes, Guide-nim. You worked hard today.”

The man, who had bowed so low that he almost folded in half, ran off somewhere.
I already felt tired from the continuous guiding, but the man, who reminded me of things from before the regression in many ways, seemed to make me even more tired.

I thought about going home early, but I thought I would be fine after sleeping for about an hour, so I moved to the break room.

After taking a nap, it was already lunchtime.
Since Wonjae was eating separately because of his test, I was alone with Jihwon today.
We were sitting at a table with our trays when Jihwon couldn’t hold his spoon.
Looking closely, his hand was trembling like someone with a tremor.

“Jihwon, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

At my words, he finally held his spoon tightly and ate his soup.
At that, I was about to eat my own food, but blood started to trickle from his nose.

“Jihwon, your nose is bleeding.”

“What?”

I hurriedly took out a handkerchief from my pocket and handed it to him.
He took the handkerchief and immediately pressed it to his nose.

“Actually, I’ve been getting nosebleeds often lately.”

“Aren’t you overworking yourself?”

“I feel like I need to become an A-Class to feel like I’m on the same level as you and Wonjae.”

It seemed my grade had unintentionally become a burden to him.
Come to think of it, I had also always been conscious of his grade and thought I had to do better.

“I’m not the type of person who cares about grades. I like you for who you are.”

I said it to relieve his burden even a little, but he shook his head weakly.

“I know. But it’s my own greed.”

I wanted to tell him to stop, but I was reminded of my past self.
But it was dangerous to raise one’s grade at the cost of one’s health, so I thought I would have to talk to him separately later.

“Rest in the infirmary today. If this continues, you should get a health check-up at the Center.”

“Okay.”

He forced a smile, but I was still worried about him.
After all, I had also had my health deteriorate due to Dr. Yoon’s project.

“If you need anything, you have to tell me. Your worries too.”

“Thank you, hyung.”

In the end, he and I couldn’t even eat properly and headed to the infirmary.
His condition had improved, but I was still worried because his complexion was not good.