Chapter 64: What am I to you?

Oh, shit, it’s real.

Bodam, realizing it wasn’t a dream but reality, pretended to be asleep while his eyes were already closed.

It was the first time he had faced Han Seung Ho since throwing the soaked resignation letter in his face.

Bodam’s awkward snoring continued briefly.

“Kuh-euh- huff, cough.”

He tried to make a snoring sound, but a cough burst out instead.

Next to Bodam, who was coughing painfully, there was the sound of water.

Han Seung Ho was pouring water into a glass.

“Drink it.”

Bodam, who had been trying to drink water even without being offered it, suddenly lost all desire for it.

Since he was told to drink it, he didn’t want to.

He pulled the blanket over his head and turned his body in the opposite direction from where Han Seung Ho was standing.

But wait.

Bodam, blinking his swollen eyes, replayed the situation that had just occurred.

‘Did Han Seung Ho just pour water for me?’

Cough.

“Drink it,” Seung Ho moved the glass of water to the table near the bed and offered it again.

Bodam, lying on his side facing the wall, felt great confusion about the situation unfolding behind his back.

‘It’s not Lee Tae Hwan, but Han Seung Ho pouring water and telling me to drink it.’

‘What did that bastard put in the water?’

Bodam, burying his face in the pillow and cultivating intense wariness, stubbornly endured his thirst.

‘Even if blood came from his dry throat, he shouldn’t drink that water,’ he decided.

Esper Hwang Gyu Tae, watching Team Leader Han stand stiffly in the suffocating silence and the Guide lie covered by his blanket, busily swallowed dryly.

Feeling this couldn’t go on, he bravely decided to break the silence first.

He was about to suggest they leave, as Seung Ho had only said he would check the Guide’s condition.

“Um, now, if we could—.”

Before he could finish, Seung Ho turned around first.

He instinctively backed away at the stifled breathing coming from inside the thick blanket.

Relieved by this, Esper Hwang Gyu Tae walked forward first and quickly opened the door.

The two B-class Espers, who had been clinging to the door and listening intently, naturally moved to either side of the hallway with the sliding door.

‘They were afraid of making eye contact with Team Leader Han Seung Ho as he exited the room.’

“Why did you heal me?”

At the unexpected voice, his feet, which were nearing the door, stopped.

Seung Ho’s gaze averted, the heads of the B-class Espers, who had been looking straight ahead, also turned back towards the hospital room.

Dra-dduuk.

Unfortunately, due to the door closing, they couldn’t see the situation inside.

Surprised by the voice of the Guide who had thrown off the blanket and gotten up, Hwang Gyu Tae immediately closed the door that the Esper had opened.

“I asked why you healed me.”

Unable to suppress his unsettling curiosity, he stopped Han Seung Ho.

‘He had always intended to ask him, someday, if he ever encountered him on an unlucky day.’

‘Why on earth did you heal me?’

‘Why on earth, when you don’t even treat me like a person who feels emotions like you do?’

‘Even though you only treat me like a guiding machine.’

“You said you were in pain,” Seung Ho, with a low voice, turned towards the bed where Bodam was lying and replied.

Silence followed the answer, thrown without hesitation.

“……”

Bodam, closing his parted lips, just met his gaze.

He faced the face that closed its mouth along with his.

Han Seung Ho, whom he faced after two months, was still so nonchalant that he was cold.

‘The moment he threw the resignation letter in that face felt like decades ago.’

‘They say the one who was hit sleeps soundly, but here he is.’

‘He wondered if one could truly be so nonchalant after getting a resignation letter thrown in their face on a rainy day in front of everyone.’

Bodam had never wanted to meet Han Seung Ho, whose ending was the dirtiest, even if a monster came to his house.

‘He had planned to ask him, someday, only when they were both old and on the verge of death, why he had used his healing ability back then.’

‘He was that curious.’

“There are more people… who are in pain than me.”

“I can’t heal everyone.”

Again, Han Seung Ho’s swift response was like a knife.

He always moved without an inch of hesitation in anything he did.

‘Stiffly, as if living predetermined moments.’

‘He lived his life as if the hands of a clock were merely repeating their assigned roles.’

“Exactly.”

Bodam, unclenching his fist and wiping his swollen eyelids, let out a sigh.

He inhaled once, a dry breath in his sore throat, and asked again.

‘It felt like talking to a solid wall.’

“Why did you heal me?”

He consciously tried to straighten his shoulders, which habitually hunched from living in fear in front of Espers for so long.

Although his eyes were too swollen to open wide, he lifted his chin to meet his gaze directly.

‘He had nothing left to lose in front of Attack Team 3.’

‘He tried not to forget this fact.’

“What am I to you?”

Gulp.

Esper Hwang Gyu Tae, with the most serious expression in the hospital room, felt his Adam’s apple bob.

‘Now, Team Leader Han Seung Ho, h-he used his healing ability?’

‘On his dedicated Guide?’

‘Doubting his own hearing, he was impatiently waiting for Team Leader Han’s reply.’

‘Seeing him close his mouth instead of answering, he was inwardly screaming, ‘What is it?! What is it?!’ a muted scream.’

A minute passed, feeling like ten minutes to some, and a mere instant to others.

Han Seung Ho, opening his tightly sealed lips, continued the interrupted conversation with his usual indifferent gaze and voice.

“If you need more, I’ll do it.”

Thump.

Outside the door, the sound of two heads colliding passed by very briefly.

Esper Hwang Gyu Tae, standing in front of it, covered his mouth with his hand.

Bodam, was simply blank.

“I’ll treat you every time you’re in pain.”

Seung Ho, interpreting Bodam’s bewildered expression as a lack of understanding, added.

At the subsequent words, Bodam’s upper lip parted wider, revealing his front teeth, and he scowled.

‘Why does he keep making me ask why?’

“Come back.”

Han Seung Ho’s right shoe subtly moved forward as he followed up with the full appellation, “Guide Yoon Bodam.”

His expression, as he added those words, was as rigid as if he wore a mask.

‘It was a face whose true thoughts could never be known.’

“I need your guiding.”

Hearing those words, Bodam replied as unhesitatingly as Han Seung Ho.

He threw back a short answer with a gaze and voice just as cold.

Just as he always had.

“No.”

At the same moment, Seung Ho’s control bracelet shattered.

***

Fire ants the size of a small child poured out of the gate.

Their danger level was low enough for a well-built Guide to catch them with bare hands. However, each time they appeared, they came in swarms of hundreds, making their suppression take a long time.

Of course, in Sectors 1 and 2, which had A and S-class Espers, they would be dealt with in an instant, but this was Sector 3’s gate.

“Jo Yeon Yeok. Don’t overdo it.”

Jo Yeon said to Yeon Yeok, who had consecutively grabbed and broken the necks of two fire ants.

Yeon Yeok, ignoring him, pouted and pulled out the short sword from his waist, definitively cutting off the fire ant’s breath.

“I told you, if you hold the sword like that, you’ll hurt your hand.”

Jo Yeon, who had psychokinetically pulled out the sword Yeon Yeok was holding, demonstrated.

‘Hold the sword hilt to avoid straining the wrist, and use the body’s weight, not just the arm—.’

“I know that.”

Yeon Yeok openly turned his back on Jo Yeon, who was trying to teach him how to use a sword.

Though his physique was mature, Jo Yeon Yeok, the Guide who had worn a school uniform until just the other day, at 18 years old, was sulking at his team leader and cousin.

“I said I’m sorry, you brat.”

“No. What do you have to be sorry for, Hyung? Don’t apologize. I won’t accept it.”

Yeon Yeok, waving his arms and saying he was fine, truly didn’t look okay.

Though he seemed lighthearted, he was surprisingly sensitive and easily influenced by others.

“What? Are you two fighting?”

Gabi, who happened to teleport to find Yeon Yeok for guiding, asked.

True to her nature, raising eight-year-old twin brothers above her youngest son, she mediated with familiarity.

“Just hit each other once and get it over with.”

Yeon Yeok avoided reconciliation, looking for a place to sit for guiding.

‘He wanted to stay sulking a little longer.’

‘How could he say such a thing to him, who worked harder than anyone?’

‘How could he tell him to leave the team—!’

“Hey. Your hyung said he was wrong.”

Yesterday afternoon, sitting face-to-face in the common waiting room during the snack time Jo Yeon had procured, a dagger pierced Yeon Yeok’s heart.

Jo Yeon had spoken too hastily to Yeon Yeok, who was diligently trying to cheer up his cousin and assigned Esper from his depressed mood.

“Do you want to leave the team?”

Yeon Yeok, who spoke to a rock large enough for Gabi to sit on, mimicked Jo Yeon’s soft voice, showing his hurt feelings.

It was what Jo Yeon had said to Yeon Yeok.

He had asked yesterday if Yeon Yeok had any thoughts of transferring to another team.

At first, Yeon Yeok took it as a casual remark he always made, replying, “I’d be thankful.” Then, seeing his hyung’s happy reaction, he realized he was serious.

‘My goodness.’

Yeon Yeok almost cried.

“Yeon Yeok.”

Jo Yeon approached Yeon Yeok, who was even taking his frustration out on a rock, and tried to soothe him, telling him to just hit him instead.

He knew well that Yeon Yeok, though uncomfortable with contact with his relatives, had already grown fond of and deeply attached to his good-natured teammates and the comfortable atmosphere.

That’s why it was hard to bring up the subject.

But yesterday, filled with thoughts of Bodam, he had hurt Yeon Yeok.

The more he thought of Bodam in his hospital gown and the worsening situation in civilian areas due to unregistered users, only one thought came to mind.

‘He wished Bodam would come back to their team.’

“Hyung, I… almost every day, without fail, I think about and worry about our Espers. The reason I take multivitamins I didn’t use to eat, and take care of my health more than during my physical education college entrance exams, it’s all for our Espers!”

Yeon Yeok, who stopped speaking and sighed deeply, grew emotional.

“What if they, shit, rampage when I’m not there! I try to maintain my best condition every day!”

After that, he confessed numerous large and small subtle considerations that the Espers hadn’t noticed, expressing his resentment.

He was a much more diligent guy than expected.

Gabi and Jo Yeon were more confused than touched by his confession that he even used hand cream to avoid discomfort when holding hands.

“…Who told you to go that far?”

“If I do well, they complain! If I don’t, they complain! The world is just—!”

Yeon Yeok, who was filling his passion for sports, put on hold by his Guide manifestation, with voluntarily excessive workload, was on the verge of tears at his hyung’s attitude, who didn’t understand his feelings.

At this, Gabi approached him, saying “I know,” and tried to comfort him.

Even while huffing, Yeon Yeok, who had grabbed Gabi’s hand and started guiding, spoke nonsense due to his heightened emotions.

“Try to obsess over me a little, Hyung. Like other Espers, earnestly desire me, and tell me you can’t do without me!”

When he asked if he was asking for too much, Gabi couldn’t bring herself to answer and just shrugged and smiled.

It was behavior sometimes seen in new recruits taking on their first dedicated team assignments.

The desire to make a good impression on their first colleagues, and pouring excessive passion into their first job receiving a salary as an adult.

The more diligent and kind they were, the more that passion burned excessively.

He was a Guide they couldn’t help but adore.

‘Because of Guide Yoon?’

Gabi, who had started to focus on guiding, mouthed the question to Jo Yeon without making a sound so Yeon Yeok wouldn’t hear.

Jo Yeon, nodding to the quick-witted Gabi, rubbed the back of his neck.

He was sorry for speaking too hastily and hurting Yeon Yeok.

“Tell him to come as a backup Guide.”

To this, Gabi bluntly replied.

“Team assignments won’t be exactly as he wants, but he can apply. If he’s backup, there won’t be much burden, and our Guide’s workload will decrease.”

Jo Yeon, taking his hand off his stiff neck, gaped.

“Ah,” a silent exclamation of admiration escaped him.

There was a way to have Bodam with them without having to let go of their current dedicated Guide.

A backup Guide.

“But this pay is too little, though.”

Gabi, pressing her thumb and forefinger together to indicate money, wore a bitter expression.

It seemed Guide Yoon Bodam, who had resigned, was looking for a job again, but the pay for a backup Guide was almost halved.