Chapter 13: The Butterfly’s Departure and Lingering Disillusionment

On a sweltering morning, a butterfly fluttered down, landing on a window of a teaching building at Gutang Middle School. It tried repeatedly to pass through the glass, only to fail each time, eventually flying away in resignation.

Lin Duo, still clutching her pen, watched the butterfly’s departure in a daze. Was her two-month stint toiling in the fruit shop truly like that butterfly, gone forever and never to return?

She had only run away from home in early June, and now, in early September, she was back in the classroom—a mere three months had passed. Yet, in Lin Duo’s heart, those three months felt as long as three years.

She had left home resigned to dropping out, never imagining that a series of serendipitous events would lead her back to another classroom, and moreover, as a girl.

At that moment, the murmurs of two boys from the back right reached her ears:

“The new transfer student is so aloof; she barely speaks to anyone.”

“Well, she’s a pretty girl, so a little arrogance is probably normal, right?”

“Hmph, I guess that’s what they call a tsundere.”

****

The daily schedule for the third year of junior high was generally packed: morning self-study, morning exercises, four classes, lunch and a midday break, another four classes, and finally, dismissal.

It was already the second week of school, and Lin Duo remained quite isolated in her class. During breaks and lunch, most other students would gather to chat and gossip, but she simply sat alone, quietly reading or solving problems.

Lin Duo didn’t even feel isolated, having long grown accustomed to a solitary school life. Moreover, unlike her previous school, her female identity seemed to deter the male students from bothering her, a fact that brought her considerable satisfaction.

Suddenly, familiar and stirring music blared from the broadcast speaker above the blackboard. The students, recognizing it as the signal for morning exercises, rose en masse and began filing out of the classroom.

Lin Duo, after solving one more problem, finally joined the tail end of the departing crowd.

At 155 centimeters, Lin Duo’s height was average among girls her age, placing her in the middle of the female queue. Coincidentally, the two girls in front and behind her were good friends, chatting animatedly over Lin Duo’s head during the exercises.

Lin Duo had no desire to join their conversation, her mind instead consumed by the unsolved problem from earlier.

After morning exercises, a fifteen-minute break commenced. Feeling an urgent need to use the restroom, Lin Duo headed straight for it.

The male and female restrooms were adjacent, and Lin Duo meticulously confirmed the pink female sign before stepping inside. After all, fourteen years of habit couldn’t be changed overnight; if her current self were to enter the boys’ restroom, it would undoubtedly cause a minor scandal. The Lin Duo of today dreaded the feeling of being seen as an anomaly.

The girls’ restroom featured tall stalls with toilets, offering ample privacy for Lin Duo. As she discreetly used a stall, the voices of several familiar girls drifted in from outside the door:

“That new transfer student, Lin Duo, right? Why is she so unsociable? She never chats with anyone, and during PE, she just sits alone reading. Isn’t that a bit too reclusive?”

“But you know, some boys actually like that type! Hey, I heard Fang Yuwen from the next class has a crush on her and is constantly looking for a chance to confess.”

“Fang Yuwen? The tall, handsome one who plays basketball? Seriously, what are these boys thinking? Is it really fun to date a human ice block?”

“Anyway, I actually have some news about Lin Duo. I heard she’s from the countryside and only came to the city a few months ago!”

“So she’s a country bumpkin! But looking at her delicate skin and pampered appearance, she doesn’t seem like it at all, does she?”

“Well, that’s what it says on Lin Duo’s file!”

“Hmph, so that’s it! No matter how pretty she is, she’s just a country bumpkin from the sticks!”

The girls’ voices gradually faded away.

Once Lin Duo was certain they were gone, she pushed open the stall door.

Unexpectedly, Lin Duo felt no anger, only waves of disappointment and disillusionment.

She had once harbored high hopes and fantasies about the collective group of girls; after all, she had dreamed of becoming one of them.

But now, it seemed they were nothing special. Regardless of gender, human hearts were all equally ugly.

****

Back at her desk, Lin Duo immediately opened her workbook, hoping to forget the unpleasantness through her studies. However, it wasn’t long before her deskmate, Wang Linshu, spoke up beside her: “Um, I forgot my eraser. Could I borrow yours?”

Without even turning her head, Lin Duo took out her eraser from her pencil case and placed it on the other side of the desk.

Less than a minute later, Wang Linshu spoke again: “Um, I’ve run out of pencil lead. Could I use yours—?”

“Why are you so annoying?!” Lin Duo, her mood already sour, finally erupted in a small burst of emotion. “Why do you always have so many problems? It’s not the first time you’ve asked to borrow my eraser, my pen, my homework, this, that—can’t you buy your own? Or are you so poor you can’t even afford these small things worth a few yuan?!”

“I… I am…” Wang Linshu’s face flushed crimson, leaving him speechless for a long moment.

Fortunately, the chemistry teacher entered the classroom at that moment, temporarily defusing the awkwardness.

For the rest of the half-day, Wang Linshu indeed refrained from speaking to Lin Duo. However, he would still sneak glances whenever she wasn’t looking.

Though Lin Duo didn’t turn her head, she could sense his furtive gaze. Despite her irritation, she had no reason to vent; after all, how could one control another’s eyes?

****

Lunch was served in bento boxes, outsourced by the school. Class monitors were responsible for carrying the appropriate boxes into their classrooms. Apparently, to enhance nutrition, third-year junior high students received an additional boiled egg and a pack of soy milk.

Before opening her bento box, Lin Duo first retrieved a few small pills wrapped in tissue from her backpack and swallowed them directly with the soy milk. Witnessing this, Wang Linshu, unable to contain his curiosity, asked: “What is it you eat every lunchtime?”

“They’re sugar pills. My blood sugar is low, and without them, I’d get drowsy in the afternoon.” Lin Duo shot him an exasperated look.

After finishing their bento boxes, a group of restless boys scattered to the corridors or playground to stretch their legs. Wang Linshu was no exception.

However, about fifteen minutes later, Wang Linshu returned to the classroom and placed a perfectly packaged box of chocolates in front of Lin Duo: “Um, I just bought these from the convenience store outside school. I heard chocolate works better for low blood sugar.”

Lin Duo held the chocolates, feeling a pang of indecision. She didn’t particularly care for the chubby boy, and naturally, she didn’t want to eat anything he offered.

Nevertheless, to avoid arousing suspicion, she gritted her teeth, took a small bite, and then handed the rest back: “This much is enough for me.”

For some reason, Wang Linshu looked quite pleased. “The pressure of the senior high entrance exam is immense, so you really must take care of yourself.”

“Noisy…” Lin Duo muttered softly, then buried her head back in her problems.

For Lin Duo, life in the third year of junior high was nothing special; it simply meant more homework and classroom quizzes. Her adoptive parents, having lost a laborer, had seen their workload increase significantly, yet they hadn’t hired any new help.

Lin Duo understood clearly that this was to save money, and the purpose of saving money was to support her education.

Lin Duo genuinely felt incredibly lucky to have encountered such a kind family when she had nowhere else to turn. The only thing she could do now was study hard, so that her adoptive parents could smile more often.