Chapter 7: The Devil’s Jest and the Real Men Bandit Gang

On the desolate expanse of land, a young woman, clad in simple adventurer’s attire, ambled leisurely forward.

This was Ellis. She stared intently ahead, displaying an utter nonchalance toward her surroundings. There was no hint of wariness in her demeanor, despite traversing such a desolate and unfrequented region. She moved like a plump, harmless lamb, seemingly awaiting its predator.

Ellis let out a yawn. She had been walking for half a day already, yet not a single soul had appeared.

‘Was this truly a place frequented by bandit gangs?’

Ellis found herself harboring such doubts.

She subtly glanced into the distance. Though no one was visible to her naked eye, the persistent lock of aura on her served as a constant reminder that Larry was meticulously monitoring her every move from afar.

After much discussion, the two had decided upon a honey trap scheme, using Ellis’s beauty as bait to lure the bandit gang into attacking her.

Originally, Larry had intended to simply overpower the bandits, interrogate them, and then ascertain the location of their hideout through brutal means. However, Ellis found such a straightforward approach utterly boring.

She proposed a more challenging alternative: infiltrate the bandit base using her charm, extort information about their treasure hoard, and then, coordinating from both inside and out, dismantle the gang in one swift blow.

Though the ultimate objective remained the same as Larry’s violent, frontal assault, and Ellis’s plan was considerably more complicated, Larry readily agreed.

They both possessed sufficient strength to back their actions. Despite the changes to Ellis’s body, her original power remained perfectly preserved.

From the very beginning of their adventure, Larry and Ellis had reached an understanding: they weren’t striving for the final reward, but rather to thoroughly enjoy the journey itself.

Much like conquering a demon lord’s castle, their reasons for accepting quests and the conventional methods they employed were all about experiencing the trials and joys of protagonists from games and anime in their past lives. They even deliberately suppressed their overwhelming strength for this very purpose.

This bandit mission was no different. Despite reluctantly taking it on to gather travel funds, neither of them intended to complete it in such a dull fashion.

Necessary precautions, of course, still had to be taken. This time, Ellis was in charge of being reckless, while Larry was responsible for ensuring their safety.

Ellis sat down, preparing to build a fire and cook. She was still somewhat unaccustomed to her current identity. Larry’s constant aura lock, which would have been an entirely normal sensation for her before, now made her feel a little uneasy, as if her entire body were being scrutinized.

Being scrutinized wasn’t really an issue. Ellis had seen Larry’s naked form in both his previous and current lives, and Larry, naturally, had seen hers.

Ellis pondered the root of her discomfort. After a moment of thought, she understood.

During their playful banter, Larry had once threatened to imprison her in a basement for a costume change, his serious demeanor unsettling her. Later, while planning their current scheme, Larry had suggested she pick out some attractive women’s clothes to dress up in, which had elicited a strong repulsion from Ellis.

These experiences, combined with the undeniable fact that she was now a woman, were what made her feel so flustered.

‘It’s all that damn faggot’s fault. I’ll beat him up when we get back.’

Ellis gnashed her teeth, tossing firewood into the blaze. Suddenly, a faint tremor ran through the ground, growing steadily in intensity.

Her extensive adventuring experience instantly told Ellis that a group of people was rapidly approaching her location.

‘The bandits here to deliver money have arrived?!’

Ellis’s eyes immediately sparkled with brilliant light. This boredom had been driving her mad.

Ellis was not disappointed. Indeed, it was the very bandit gang wanted on the mission, a group of burly, bald men riding swift-drakes, who galloped forth and encircled her. And wasn’t that flashy-looking individual at the front none other than the bandit leader himself?

Ellis was just about to test out her newly acquired feminine wiles, planning to utterly mesmerize these unsophisticated bandits with a honey trap, when—

“Just you alone? Hand over everything valuable!” the bandit leader roared rudely at Ellis.

“Please don’t shout at me like that. I’m quite delicate,” Ellis simpered, pinching her fingers together in a delicate gesture, her voice sickeningly sweet. She felt like gagging herself; her body was already reacting.

But what she least expected was that the surrounding bandit gang actually vomited.

The sight of twenty or so people simultaneously throwing up was truly spectacular.

For a moment, Ellis couldn’t even process what was happening.

‘Could it be that the aesthetic standards of this region are unique? In these people’s eyes, am I actually an ugly woman, not a beauty?’

“This woman is truly disgusting, parading around like that.”

“This slut definitely tried to seduce us just now! To mistake us for those vulgar men—it’s an insult!”

“Exactly. Real men should be with men. Look at this weak-looking woman; she clearly can’t handle a real fight. She’d probably pass out halfway through. What’s the point?”

“Boss, can I just kill this vulgar woman? I feel my values have been insulted!”

“Brothers, bear with it. We’re currently wanted, and business in this area has been tough. Finally, someone showed up. Although she’s a lowly thing and looks poor, her appearance is still quite pleasing to those vulgar types. Selling her to a pleasure house would bring in a considerable income, perfect for replenishing the funds of our Real Men Bandit Gang.”

Ellis :

Ellis, standing in the middle, was so shocked her jaw nearly hit the ground. What had she just heard? What was wrong with this world? It was actually a bandit gang comprised entirely of real homosexuals?!

No wonder they looked at her with such disdain. It made sense now.

‘No, it doesn’t make any sense at all!’

Ellis’s anger flared. She didn’t discriminate against any sexual orientation, but that was no reason for them to insult her character and mentally pollute her!

Ellis rolled up her sleeves, twisted her neck, and after applying a full set of buffing spells to herself, she spoke coldly, “Real men, are you? Weak and delicate, are you? Do you have the guts to fight me one-on-one? Of course, if you plan to gang up on one slender woman, I have nothing to say. After all, real men are just good at bullying a skinny woman with overwhelming numbers.”

“Damn it! I can’t take this anymore! This woman is too damn arrogant. Boss, let me teach her a lesson!” A muscular ‘real man’ bandit stepped forward, loudly requesting permission from the bandit leader.

The bandit leader stated with a solemn expression, “Good. Be careful not to hit her face. Damaging her looks will affect the selling price! Don’t disgrace our Real Men Bandit Gang. Tonight, I’ll allow you to come to my room.”

The muscular man who had stepped out exclaimed excitedly, “Yes, Boss!”

“I’ve had enough! Get lost!”

Ellis finally erupted!

With an uppercut, the muscular man transformed into a shooting star in the daytime sky.

The entire bandit gang stared, dumbfounded, unable to utter a single word at the scene before them.

“I originally wanted to have a good time playing with you all. I even considered calling Larry over to join in. But your behavior has exceeded my tolerance limit. Prepare to die!”

“How dare you ambush my brother! Brothers, take them down!” Realizing Ellis was no pushover, the bandit leader no longer dared to underestimate her and prepared for a group assault.

“Devil’s Jest!”

With this exclamation, a pitch-black elemental staff materialized in Ellis’s hand. She pointed it skyward, and pale blue elemental energy surged into the staff, transforming into an ominous, dark power.

“Water’s Invigoration!”

“Fools! Water’s Invigoration is an area-of-effect mental buff, haha! Is she casting a beneficial elemental spell on us?” The bandit leader, upon hearing this, initially thought Ellis was a novice who had misused an elemental art. However, to his surprise, he suddenly felt a dizzying mental haze, leaving him feeling somewhat powerless.

“Was it a trap?! I knew the enemy wouldn’t kindly announce the true name of their elemental art.” The bandit leader’s strength was considerable; he didn’t collapse like his subordinates, but instead stood firm.

“Oh?” Ellis looked at the bandit leader with some surprise. “By all accounts, you shouldn’t have any mental energy left.”

The bandit leader stubbornly retorted, “You despicable wretch, I am a true man! How could I fall for such a shameless trick as a falsely reported spell name?”

“Heh, I didn’t lie.”

“Nonsense! Water’s Invigoration is clearly a beneficial elemental art!”

“I used Water’s Invigoration, but unfortunately, this magical artifact doesn’t quite see it that way.”

The magical artifact, Devil’s Jest, corrupted any elemental art used through it with dark power. Any beneficial elemental art would have its effect reversed, while destructive elemental arts would gain a dark, corrosive attribute.

“A magical artifact?! Damn it, who are you?! No matter who you are, I will not yield!”

Ellis’s lips curled into a smile. “Heh heh, I truly admire your spirit. Goddess’s Blessing!”

(Elemental Art: Goddess’s Blessing, dispels all negative statuses.)

When cast through Devil’s Jest, its effect became… applying all negative statuses.

The bandit leader, who had just declared he would never yield, flopped onto the ground with a thud. Physical yielding counted as a form of surrender too.