Chapter 3: The First Night

Jiang Yu shook his head.

“Don’t be nervous.”

Li Xiao stepped closer, raising his hand. It stopped beside Jiang Yu’s cheek without touching him.

“I’m very skilled. It’ll feel good.”

Jiang Yu said nothing.

He bit his lower lip, eyes fixed on the floor.

Li Xiao waited, then withdrew his hand.

“Go wash in the bathroom.”

He pointed to the door on the other side of the room.

“There’s a robe inside.”

Jiang Yu didn’t move.

“I’ve already paid.”

Li Xiao’s voice dropped.

“Are you backing out?”

Jiang Yu shook his head, then moved stiffly toward the bathroom.

He closed the door and slid down, back against it, until he sat on the floor.

From outside came Li Xiao’s footsteps, leaving the room, going next door.

Jiang Yu sat on the floor for a long time, until someone knocked on the bathroom door.

“Done washing?”

He shot up and turned on the faucet.

Cold water hit his face. He shivered.

In the mirror, his complexion was pale, his eyes red.

Jiang Yu undressed and stood under the showerhead.

The water was scalding hot, turning his skin pink.

He washed for a long time. Another knock came.

“Come out.”

Jiang Yu turned off the water, dried himself, and put on the bathrobe.

It was too big, hanging loosely on his frame, revealing most of his collarbone.

He pushed open the door.

Li Xiao, in a robe with damp hair, sat on the bed, holding a glass of water.

Seeing Jiang Yu emerge, he set the glass down.

“Come here.”

Jiang Yu walked over, his steps dragging.

The robe’s sash wasn’t tied properly, loosening with his movements.

Li Xiao reached out, grabbed his wrist, and yanked.

In an instant, the world spun. The next second, Jiang Yu tumbled onto the bed, sinking into the soft mattress.

Li Xiao leaned over him, hands braced on either side of his head.

Their faces were very close.

Jiang Yu could see his own reflection in Li Xiao’s eyes—tiny, blurry.

“Last chance.”

Li Xiao said.

“Say no now, and I’ll stop. You don’t have to pay me back.”

Jiang Yu closed his eyes.

After a few seconds, he shook his head.

Li Xiao’s hand slipped into the robe.

Jiang Yu’s entire body tensed, fingers clutching the sheet.

“Relax.”

Li Xiao whispered in his ear, voice low.

Jiang Yu couldn’t.

He felt like a puppet, lying there rigidly, letting Li Xiao do as he pleased.

Li Xiao lowered his head, kissing his shoulder.

Jiang Yu flinched, pulling away.

Li Xiao stopped, propping himself up to look at him.

“Changed your mind?”

Jiang Yu shook his head, eyes still shut.

“Then don’t pull away.”

Li Xiao resumed.

This time, Jiang Yu didn’t avoid him.

Li Xiao propped himself up, looking at him.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Can I not—mmph—”

He tried to refuse, but before he could finish, Li Xiao lowered his head and sealed his lips.

Jiang Yu’s eyes flew open, his body rigid.

This was his… first kiss.

Li Xiao’s kiss forcefully pried open his teeth, delving deep.

Jiang Yu’s mind went blank. He endured passively.

Gradually, a strange tingling numbness spread from where they touched. His stiff body, against his will, began to soften slightly. Inexperienced and clumsy, he started to respond.

This tiny response seemed to please Li Xiao. His movements gentled a fraction, but the assault didn’t slow.

One hand slid down Jiang Yu’s waist, brushing over his trembling thighs.

When the pain finally hit, Jiang Yu’s eyes went wide, staring at the chandelier on the ceiling.

The light swayed in his vision, blurring into a hazy halo.

It hurt too much.

More than he’d imagined.

He gritted his teeth, refusing to make a sound.

Tears slid from the corners of his eyes, seeping into his temples.

Li Xiao’s movements paused. His hand touched Jiang Yu’s face.

“If it hurts, cry out.”

Jiang Yu shook his head, raising a hand to cover his eyes with the back of it.

His body trembled, uncontrollably.

“Relax a little…”

Li Xiao coaxed in a low, husky voice, slowing down.

“Bear with it. It won’t hurt for long…”

His coaxing had little effect. To Jiang Yu, the entire process felt like torture, every second agonizingly long.

****

Jiang Yu couldn’t recall when he lost consciousness.

The last thing he saw was Li Xiao’s sweat-drenched collarbone. Then everything went dark.

Li Xiao noticed something wrong with the person beneath him.

Jiang Yu’s rapid, suppressed breathing had stopped at some point. His fingers, previously clutching the sheets, suddenly loosened, falling limply against the dark gray fabric.

The body that had been trembling with fine, uncontrollable shivers moments before abruptly went still—too still.

“Jiang Yu?”

Li Xiao stopped, propping himself up.

Under the warm yellow light, Jiang Yu’s face was alarmingly pale, eyes tightly shut, lips colorless. Only a few undried teardrops clung to his lashes.

He passed out.

Li Xiao frowned, muttered a curse, and immediately pulled out.

He reached out to feel Jiang Yu’s forehead. It was clammy with cold sweat.

He patted Jiang Yu’s cheek.

“Wake up.”

Jiang Yu showed no response, his brow slightly furrowed from residual pain, breathing weak.

Li Xiao got out of bed, fetched a warm, damp towel from the bathroom, and cleaned Jiang Yu up. His movements weren’t exactly gentle, but they were careful enough.

Throughout it all, Jiang Yu was like an unconscious doll, letting himself be handled.

After cleaning, Li Xiao pulled the blanket over him, then turned and went into the bathroom.

Water ran.

By the time Li Xiao finished his shower and came out drying his hair, Jiang Yu seemed to have regained some awareness, shrinking deeper under the covers with a faint, muffled groan.

Li Xiao didn’t pay much attention. He lay down on the other side and soon fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, Li Xiao was jolted awake by an unusual heat beside him.

He opened his eyes, turned, and reached out to touch Jiang Yu’s forehead. It was scorching.

In the dim light of the nightlight, he could see Jiang Yu’s cheeks flushed an unhealthy red, his lips chapped. Even in his sleep, he seemed unsettled, breathing heavily.

Fever.

Li Xiao sat up, running a hand through his hair in irritation.

Troublesome.

He got out of bed, searched the living room downstairs, found fever-reducing medicine, and poured a glass of warm water.

When he lifted Jiang Yu’s upper body to lean against him, the other’s scorching warmth seeped through the thin bathrobe.

Jiang Yu was light. Held like this, he felt almost weightless.

“Jiang Yu, take the medicine.”

Li Xiao patted his face.

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