Chapter 2: The Last Goodbye

“Please don’t die.”

A clear yet firm voice echoed in the darkness.

I knew the owner of this voice better than anyone.

“There is no such thing as someone who deserves to die in this world… Even you can be loved, Count Kinesis! You are a wonderful person!”

At the moment I wanted to turn my back on the world, it was this voice that saved me.

As the darkness vanished and light flooded the world, clear green eyes containing the vibrancy of nature came into view.

Faced with his countenance directly, I felt the illusion of being pulled into his eyes.

This was my first meeting with Baron Mariel.

Chestnut hair and a cute, youthful face.

Exuding positive energy in all directions, Mariel was someone anyone couldn’t help but love.

Although he eventually seemed to become Mikeron’s lover, he was popular among everyone, regardless of age or gender.

Who could possibly hate someone so bright and beautiful?

Before my regression, I had loved Mariel blindly.

Loving him all too much, I became obsessed, stalked him, and went so far as to kidnap and imprison him.

The one who interfered with my criminal actions at every turn, rushing over whenever anything happened to Mariel, was Mikeron.

Mikeron, the Knight of Light praised by all, and Mariel, beloved by everyone—in a way, they were the perfect match, but I could not accept it.

Mariel was mine, and he had to be mine.

Because my life belonged to Mariel.

The tip of my ugly inferiority complex pointed toward Mikeron.

I had screamed and wished to kill him, seeing him as nothing but an obstacle.

Yet, in the end, my life was ended by Mikeron Leilight’s hand.

Just as it had always been, I had lost to him once again.

“Gasp! Haah!”

Startled awake after a sudden twitch, my foot struck the floor with a heavy thud.

Lifting my head, I saw a desk piled high with documents.

“What is this…”

The document that had been stuck to my cheek just a moment ago fluttered down to the floor.

Every joint in my body ached, but my hunched back was particularly sore.

I had apparently fallen asleep while reading the documents.

Lately, I had been burying myself in work just to forget my distracting thoughts.

Pressing my temples as I stood up, my unbalanced body swayed.

I quickly grabbed the desk, furrowing my brow.

It seemed I needed a change of pace.

***

“U-Um, Count. Where did you say you were going?”

“I’m going to the city. I want to get a change of pace.”

“Ah, well…”

The butler kept hesitating, eyeing me warily.

Feeling frustrated, I narrowed my eyes.

“What? If you have something to say, just say it.”

“Um, by any chance, are you going out to stalk Baron Mariel…”

Looking closely, there was a heavy trace of suspicion in the butler’s eyes.

It seemed he was worried that after being quiet for a while, I was heading out to stalk him again.

“It’s nothing like that. I haven’t been out in a while. I’m really just going out for some fresh air.”

I forced a smile to reassure the butler.

Of course, the butler, who had served by my side for a long time, did not seem convinced.

“Are you going alone? Perhaps you should take a servant with you.”

“No need. Having someone next to me is only uncomfortable.”

“Understood. Have a safe trip.”

While not letting go of his distrustful gaze, the butler asked no further questions and quietly closed the carriage door.

I stared blankly out the window, leaning against the frame.

It was my first outing since my regression.

I hadn’t thought about what to do in the city.

I had simply headed out to get some fresh air.

What did I usually do to pass the time?

‘…I probably followed Mariel around, didn’t I?’

It was entirely understandable why the butler couldn’t trust me.

“Should I go grab something to eat first?”

In truth, I was incredibly fond of sweets, the kind of desserts that would melt your tongue.

I didn’t care even if people said it didn’t suit my appearance.

What I liked was what I liked, after all.

I ordered the coachman to head to the dessert shop I frequented.

The coachman complied with my command and drove the carriage.

***

“Welcome…!”

The moment I stepped into the shop, dozens of eyes turned toward me in unison.

[Why is Count Kinesis here?]

[Didn’t you know? They say he comes here often to win Baron Mariel’s favor.]

[I don’t know why he lives like that. Isn’t he ashamed in front of his deceased siblings?]

The shop buzzed with murmurs.

Even after regressing, the critical gazes of others still frightened me, but I squared my shoulders, pretending to be unbothered, and spoke confidently.

“An éclair, two chocolate macarons, and ah, a strawberry tart as well, please.”

“Ah, yes…!”

The employee, stealing glances at my face, quickly hurried away after taking the order.

I sat down at an empty window seat.

As I had thought on the way here, the weather was truly wonderful.

The whispering voices surrounding me persisted, but I did my best to pretend I couldn’t hear them, focusing on the view outside the window.

Before long, the desserts I ordered were served.

The employee set down the plates with trembling hands, hastily uttered a formal “Enjoy your meal,” and bolted.

Seeing them get frightened in advance when I hadn’t done anything gave me a strange sense of déjà vu.

I chuckled dryly and focused on the desserts in front of me.

Still, every single dessert looked delicious.

Lifting the éclair in front of me, I took a bite.

The cream filling the inside clung sweetly to my palate.

Desserts sweet enough to melt my tongue were perfect for a change of pace.

Just as I took another bite, the shop door opened with the chime of a bell.

“So… that’s how it turned out.”

I heard a familiar voice, one I used to listen to from afar every day.

At the clear, melodious voice that felt identical to the one in my dream today, my ears perked up, and I raised my head reflexively.

Mariel.

Mariel Esgard.

The man who had stolen my heart before the regression was standing over there.

I dropped the éclair I was holding back onto the plate.

The moment I saw Mariel, my heart pounded heavily as if awakening the feelings I had put away.

I could no longer taste the éclair I had been enjoying just seconds ago.

The cream coating my mouth now felt unpleasantly sticky.

As soon as Mariel appeared, the murmurs inside the shop grew louder.

The fact that I was not only pathetically obsessed with Mariel but also stalking him was already an open secret among the nobility.

Concerned voices for Mariel pierced my ears from all directions.

As if sensing the strange atmosphere, Mikeron was warily scanning his surroundings, and by terrible luck, my eyes locked right with his.

Mikeron’s eyes widened before narrowing in an instant.

“Mariel, would you mind going over to the plaza to look around for a bit?”

“Uh, what?”

“I’ll quickly buy what you said you wanted and meet you out there.”

Though Mariel, who still hadn’t grasped the situation, looked bewildered and asked what he meant, Mikeron grabbed his shoulders and ushered him outside.

Mariel blinked blankly before walking away toward the plaza.

I had come out to get a change of pace, but with things turning out this way, an annoyed sigh escaped me internally.

Mikeron scowled and walked over to me.

“Surely you’re not going to tell me this is a coincidence?”

“…”

“This is a shop Mariel visits often. Did you not come here to meet him?”

Even though it was purely coincidental, completely denying Mikeron’s words was a bit ambiguous.

I knew Mariel was a regular at this shop.

After all, the reason I found out their desserts were delicious was because I had discovered it while trailing behind him.

And yet, I had walked into this shop without a single thought.

This whole situation arose purely from my own carelessness.

I clicked my tongue in frustration.

“If I said it was a coincidence, would you even believe me?”

“Considering your reputation, honestly, it’s hard to believe.”

“Then believe whatever you want.”

“What did you say?”

Mikeron’s brow furrowed sharply.

He looked down at me with an displeased expression.

“When I visited you last time, didn’t you promise on your honor that you wouldn’t stalk Mariel?”

“Yes, and I have no intention of breaking that promise. I’m just too tired to try and convince you. You wouldn’t believe anything I say anyway, right? So figure it out yourself with that brilliant brain of yours, Duke.”

I retorted sharply and stood up from my seat.

Though the untouched macarons and strawberry tart remained, I lost my appetite entirely after dealing with Mikeron.

My dry mouth tasted incredibly bitter.

“Ah, please pass along a message to Baron Mariel.”

“…”

“Tell him that I am truly sorry for everything. I beg of you.”

I bowed my head politely to Mikeron and walked out of the shop.

Even as I exited, the sounds of whispering trailed closely behind my back.

A sudden wave of exhaustion washed over me.

This was all a karma that I rightfully had to bear.

To be honest, even if I were Duke Mikeron, it would be difficult to believe the words of an infamous stalker.

Rather than avoiding this karma, I intended to carry it all.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I lifted my head and saw Mariel’s back.

Mariel was sitting on a nearby bench, waiting for Mikeron to come out.

It seemed he was too concerned to leave Mikeron behind.

“…Mariel.”

I reached my hand out toward Mariel, who was humming a tune without a care in the world, then slowly curled my fingers back.

Mariel was nothing short of light to me.

Some might say it was merely an obsession, not love, but at the very least, I loved him sincerely.

“I truly loved you.”

I whispered quietly to his back, as if casting away all remaining regrets.

Mariel wasn’t looking at me, nor was he listening to what I said.

Even so, I whispered my unreachable love before slowly turning away.

With this final confession, I secretly brought an end to my pathetic obsession.

Although my feelings of love for Mariel hadn’t vanished even after my regression, I couldn’t live like this forever.

After all, Mariel’s partner was Mikeron.

The moment Mariel kissed Mikeron was burned into my memory.

Though I never wanted to admit it even in death, Mikeron was a fine man.

He was strong, handsome, and reliable.

From the very start, someone like me stood no chance.

He would probably cherish and love Mariel for the rest of his life.

In comparison, I was someone who couldn’t do a single thing for Mariel.

Feeling so pathetic made me bitter.

My aching chest felt as though it was being squeezed.

Since things had come to this, I felt I needed a proper distraction.

Something so effective that I wouldn’t even remember the pain of heartbreak.

But as long as I was Leviat Kinesis with crimson eyes, far from getting any peace of mind, I would draw everyone’s attention wherever I went.

While lost in thought, a black robe on display caught my eye.

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