Chapter 25: The Name I Called in My Sleep

“I cannot stand by and watch with my eyes open as you keep someone by your side.”

Ran, his face icily hardened, brushed past Raihar’s shoulder and disappeared into the venue.

Raihar stumbled under the force but regained his balance and headed resolutely toward his carriage.

The escort knight followed behind him, warily watching Raihar’s expression.

As soon as they reached the carriage, Raihar sat Leviat down so he was leaning against the window and took a seat opposite him.

The carriage began to move forward the moment the door was closed.

Raihar quietly watched the suffering Leviat, then reached his hand out toward Leviat’s forehead.

Leviat was unconscious, and there were only the two of them inside the carriage.

Though Raihar hesitated for a long while, his hand trembling, he ultimately closed his eyes and shook his head.

“No. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to die.”

Raihar clenched his fist and withdrew the hand he had extended toward Leviat.

***

God had never once been on my side.

Even now, having traveled back in time, that belief remained unchanged.

Even if I was given another chance to live, I possessed neither the ability to change anything nor the will to endure resolutely and move forward.

I thought that perhaps it would have been better if my life had simply ended back then, with Mikeron piercing my heart.

As I lifted my heavy eyelids, brilliant sunlight streamed through the slightly parted gap.

The ceiling that met my eyes the moment I opened them was unfamiliar.

‘Where is this?’

‘Have I finally died and been reborn as another person this time?’

When I slowly raised my upper body, Raihar’s face, which I had seen before losing consciousness, came to mind.

Looking closely now, the layout of the room was oddly familiar.

‘If so, is this Raihar’s palace?’

Raihar had helped me.

After letting out a sigh of relief, a laugh escaped me.

I was incredibly glad that Raihar, who had seemed to harbor no emotions toward me, had helped.

Even as a laugh escaped me out of joy, my throat tightened at the same time.

I couldn’t comprehend why my heart was so painfully sorrowful.

Though I knit my brows, no tears came out.

Feeling as if my choked heart would burst at any moment, I laughed aloud like a madman.

***

After managing the emotions that had explosively leaked out all by myself, I was guided by an attendant to Raihar’s study.

Raihar, who had been reading a book, startled and ran over the moment he saw me.

“Count! If I had known you were awake, I would have gone to you directly.”

After fussing over my condition, Raihar gave an order to the attendant who had guided me here.

“Um, could you pass along a message to prepare a light meal suitable for a patient?”

“Understood.”

The attendant bowed and exited the study.

Raihar grabbed my wrist and sat me down on a chair.

“How is your condition?”

My vision was still dazed, so I couldn’t say it was particularly good, but it was better than before I lost consciousness.

Opening my mouth, a hollow, raspy voice came out.

“Thanks to Your Highness, I am doing reasonably well.”

“I heard roughly about what occurred at the venue.”

“…”

“Was that also something you did because Baron Mariel asked you to?”

Sitting quietly, I recalled the events of that day.

Memories I had no desire to recall jumbled chaotically in my mind.

Was it something I did because Mariel asked, or because I wanted to?

I didn’t know.

Just trying to remember was exhausting.

“I don’t know.”

When I replied weakly, Raihar let out a deep sigh.

“It seems I had misunderstood you somewhat.”

“…”

“I thought you were a suspicious person, but you were just a foolish idiot.”

“…”

“I believe I even gave you advice not to push yourself into a corner too much.”

Raihar reached out and brushed down my face.

As his warm touch reached me, my throat tightened.

I suddenly grabbed Raihar’s hand.

Though I knew it was rude, I simply couldn’t let go.

Clinging to his hand as if holding onto a final lifeline, I hung on desperately.

“Your Highness… you will stand on my side, won’t you? At least you will, right?”

“…”

“I… I will do well. I will… even if I have to risk my life, I will protect you. So please, at least you, stay by my side.”

My grip tightened further on his hand as I trembled.

The moments I spent with Raihar before my regression swirled in my mind.

Raihar… was different from Mikeron.

To me, Raihar was my only one.

Therefore, I wanted to believe that I was also his only one.

Because the only thing I could cling to was the belief stemming from the uniqueness that only I could save him.

Raihar did not fling off my hand.

Instead, he distorted his face in a complex, subtle manner, wearing a troubled look.

“Count, it would be best to calm down first. You seem entirely out of sorts right now.”

As Raihar coaxed me to calm down, the attendant I saw earlier brought the meal and placed it on the table.

Raihar ordered the attendant, who was about to withdraw after serving the food, to also bring some warm tea.

“Let us eat first before we continue. First, calm down.”

Nodding my head, I ate the thin soup placed before me.

Though I ate it since it was a meal Raihar looked after, I couldn’t taste anything.

I swallowed only a few spoonfuls, but having absolutely no appetite, I quickly laid down my spoon.

“Wouldn’t it be better to eat a bit more?”

“No. This is plenty.”

The moment I finished eating, the attendant entered the study and served warm tea.

Raihar gestured with his finger, offering it.

“Drink some tea as well. It might make you feel a bit better.”

“Thank you.”

I hesitated briefly, then drank the tea before me.

Whether because the tea was warm, or because I had regained my composure as time passed, my extremely heightened emotions gradually calmed down.

“How is it? Are you feeling a bit better?”

“Yes.”

As I slowly nodded my head, Raihar stared at my face with thoughtful eyes and smiled softly.

“If you don’t mind, would you like to stay here until your physical condition improves?”

“Pardon?”

“Because you seem to need some change of pace.”

I felt embarrassed, thinking I had made such a fool of myself as to make Raihar say such a thing.

But it was true that I needed time to sort out my complicated thoughts.

I bowed my head.

“Then, I shall gratefully accept.”

“Sure, take your time staying here.”

Raihar leisurely crossed his legs and rested his chin on his hands over the table.

Following Raihar’s words, no conversation passed between us for a while.

As I brought the tea to my lips because the awkward silence was uncomfortable, Raihar picked up the book he had set face down.

Just as I was about to ask what book it was, he suddenly raised his head and looked at me.

“Ah, right. There’s one thing I am curious about; may I ask?”

“Ah, yes. By all means.”

‘What on earth is he going to ask?’

Because there were too many vulnerable areas, I couldn’t even guess what his question would be.

Just as I grew tense under an strangely ominous premonition, a question I had never even imagined erupted from Raihar’s mouth.

“Do you, perhaps, like Duke Mikeron?”

“Cough, cough, cough… Pardon?”

My throat choked instantly, and I began to cough.

I wanted to believe I had misheard, but Raihar drove the point home completely.

“You kept searching for Duke Mikeron in your sleep. I was truly surprised.”

My vision spun.

I couldn’t look Raihar straight in the face.

My burning face felt as though it would explode at any second.

“I… I did?”

Raihar smiled slyly and nodded his head.

I wanted to believe he had purposely cracked a mischievous joke to break the awkward atmosphere.

However, not only were Raihar and I not close enough to share such jokes, but the very fact that he singled out Mikeron of all people already provided the answer.

I dropped my head.

I felt it would be better to bash my head and die instead.

“Mhm, I see.”

Perhaps because my reaction had been too grand, Raihar already seemed certain of my feelings.

I had to formulate some excuse to address his assessing tone, but my mind had turned completely white, and no thoughts came.

My throat felt needlessly dry.

“And yet, you granted Baron Mariel’s request? You really are foolish.”

“Because sooner or later, the Duke will despise me anyway.”

Thus, I had merely thought it better to push him away quickly.

Before my feelings grew far larger than they were now, and I was hurt to a degree from which I could never recover.

“Why are you so certain of that? Nothing is set in stone. Especially human emotions, which are more volatile than anything else.”

“That is…”

Because I had already died at his hands once.

The moment he discovered I was a dark mage, he would pierce my heart with his sword once again.

Though it had been a fleeting split second, that memory was dreadfully vivid.

However, because I couldn’t possibly utter these thoughts aloud, I simply mumbled an evasive reply.

***

While staying at his palace after accepting Raihar’s proposal, reasonably peaceful days ensued.

In the meantime, consistently taking the medicine prescribed by the doctor and resting well without any stress, my condition improved significantly.

On a day when my exhausted heart was also stabilizing to some extent, Raihar, who was reading a book, made a suggestion.

“Since your condition seems to have recovered, would you like to take a walk in the rear garden?”

I stopped looking for a book on the shelf and stared at Raihar.

Since I was already beginning to crave some fresh air anyway, I expressed my agreement.

“I shall gratefully accept.”

“Let us go together then. I also wanted to get some fresh air.”

Raihar closed the book he was reading and prepared to head out after instructing the attendant.

I followed him outside as he walked ahead.

***

Though clear, the outside was hot as the sunlight beat down intensely.

The air felt with every deep breath was also different from before.

I could sense that the seasons were shifting.

“The rear garden has a fountain and a large pond. There are many flowers and trees, so it will likely be good for a change of pace.”

“Do you visit often as well, Your Highness?”

“Occasionally when I wish to rest? Of course, only at hours when my older brother or Casion are absent. Meeting either of them is exhausting.”

As if the mere imagination of it exhausted him, Raihar let out a bitter sigh.

Walking diligently while listening to his story, the entrance of the rear garden came into view before long.

Emerging along a path lush with rose vines, a wide-open space resembling a plaza appeared.

It was a place where a marble statue spouted water from the center, and flowers I had never seen in my life bloomed in abundance all around.

While I was looking around in admiration of the magnificent scenery, Raihar grabbed my forearm.

“There is a decent place to rest if we go through there. The sunlight is strong, so let’s head over.”

“Yes.”

Complying and continuing to walk behind Raihar, a spot heavily shaded by densely overgrown trees appeared.

He pushed through the trees and walked forward without hesitation.

“Because my favorite place is here.”

“Your favorite place, Your Highness?”

“It doesn’t stand out, and it’s cool in the summer… Here—”

The moment we pushed through the surrounding shrubbery, a table and chairs placed in an open space came into view—along with people carrying incredibly familiar faces.

At the sight of these unwelcome faces, Raihar’s expression stiffened.

I, too, grew tense, my entire body stiffening tightly.

“Look who it is. Is it not my shameful younger brother, Raihar?”

“Why is everyone here at this hour…”

Seated together at the place Raihar had guided me to were not only the First Prince of the Avelonia Empire, Shade, but also the Third Prince, Casion, and Ran Ilay.

Faced with a combination that was thoroughly uncomfortable to deal with no matter how I looked at it, I swallowed hard.

“I greet the First Prince and the Third Prince.”

Though I bowed and offered my respects, the two didn’t even spare me a glance, directing their eyes solely toward Raihar.

“I heard rumors that Brother Raihar had invited Count Kinesis to his palace several times, but you two seem closer than I thought.”

“Things just ended up that way. Why, is there some reason we shouldn’t be close?”

“As your younger brother, I am merely worried that you might tarnish the name of the Imperial Family, Brother. Ah, or had you already tarnished it? My mistake.”

Casion smiled shamelessly with his pretty face.

Raihar didn’t seem to be on good terms with his brothers.

Though barely any words had been exchanged, I already felt as if I were sitting on a bed of needles.

“I had no idea you and our younger brother would be here. Then I must head elsewhere.”

Raihar tightly gripped my hand.

In that moment, my eyes locked with Ran, who sat beside the First Prince.

Ran was glaring at me with a brutal gaze.

A sigh escaped my lips at his viciously cold face.

I rolled my eyes in irritation.

“Why not join us instead? If you have found someone with whom to share a close bond, you must introduce him to us, your brothers. Is that not so, Count?”

‘You didn’t even spare me a glance when I greeted you just now.’

The First Prince, Shade, brought me up as I stood silently, scanning me with an unpleasant gaze.

His condescending glare was far too blatant, making me wish to flee this place immediately, but I lacked any power to refuse his words.

“It is an honor, First Prince.”

My lips trembled as I forced a smile.

“Then shall we do so?”

As even Raihar, whom I trusted, declared his surrender, any choice was naturally stripped away from me.

The uncomfortable tension pervading the surroundings already made me feel suffocated.

‘Why on earth did I accept his proposal to take a walk?’

I didn’t resent Raihar, who had proposed it first.

Because Raihar also seemed to be harboring the exact same thoughts as me.

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