Chapter 7: Learning to Say Sorry

While walking down the stairs, perhaps because I had put too much weight on it, my already throbbing ankle suffered a severe strain.

“Ugh.”

Frowning as I stumbled, I completely lost my balance.

‘Ah, what is wrong with today, seriously?’

Flustered, I reached out to grab the handrail beside me, but the distance to it was awkwardly far.

The handrail only brushed past my fingertips and could not be caught.

Tightly closing my eyes as I braced myself to tumble down, the collar of my shirt was grabbed, pulling my center of gravity backward.

“Hah…”

Collapsing onto my rear once again, I took a sharp breath.

My startled heart was pounding furiously.

Though I avoided a disaster thanks to the catch, I couldn’t be entirely relieved since it was clear who had saved me.

I whipped my head around irritably.

“I clearly told you to ignore…!”

“To ignore you? I’m getting quite sick of those words.”

Mikeron cut off my words mid-sentence.

Just as I was about to knit my brows, he spoke again.

“If I had ignored you, you would have tumbled straight down. But as someone once said, my meddling nature is simply too vast to just stand by and watch.”

“What do you think you’re…”

The way he was openly mocking me made it seem like he wanted to pick a proper fight, so I glared at him fiercely.

In that moment, Mikeron draped his outer coat over my shoulders.

A comforting warmth spread through the coat.

Startled, my shoulders rattled.

With Mikeron acting so far out of my expectations, my brain temporarily short-circuited.

The combative spirit that had been burning inside me just moments ago withered away like a dying flower.

“Because I thought you’d be cold.”

Mikeron muttered casually to my bewildered self.

In that moment, I felt as though the blood in my veins was boiling once more.

‘Annoying.’

My temper flared up strangely, as if the muscles in my joints were tensing up in frustration.

“Like I said, I don’t ne—!”

“It’s a useless item to me as well. So whether you throw it away or sell it, do as you please, Count.”

Once again, Mikeron cut me off to say his piece.

Heat rushed to my head at the realization that my thoughts had been read yet again.

Stopping mid-step as he turned to walk down, he looked back at me once more.

“And I do not meddle in other people’s business, especially while listening to complaints, for someone I deem dreadful.”

As if his business was finished, Mikeron walked down the long stairs first.

His footsteps, which had been close, gradually receded until there was complete silence.

“…”

Sitting alone on the empty stairs, a wave of emptiness washed over me, making me wonder what on earth I was doing.

Burying my face in my hands, I closed my eyes tightly.

This was all because of Mikeron.

‘It’s definitely because of Mikeron…’

I wanted to lay the blame on him, but the more I tried, the deeper my sense of self-loathing grew.

“Liar.”

It was all a lie.

He thought I was dreadful.

The image of Mikeron’s frowning face, interfering with me at every turn before the regression, came to mind.

I took the coat Mikeron had draped over my shoulders and threw it roughly down the stairs, biting my lower lip.

Holding the handrail, I slowly made my way down the long flight of stairs.

When I returned to the party hall, the people who had been slandering me so harshly didn’t even spare me a glance, as if they had never done so.

They were simply laughing and clinking their champagne glasses together.

Taking advantage of the fact that no one was paying attention to me, I walked along the far edges of the vast party hall to head back.

I was already too exhausted to deal with getting caught in some unnecessary dispute by drawing attention.

On my way out of the venue, Mikeron Leilight’s figure stood out immediately despite the crowd.

Because a massive crowd had gathered wherever he was.

I walked cautiously while staring at Mikeron, who was smiling amidst the people.

Even though we were quite far apart, perhaps sensing my gaze, he looked toward me.

The moment Mikeron locked eyes with me, his smile vanished.

I, too, hardened my expression.

While we stared intensely at each other, Mikeron diverted his gaze first.

It was because Mariel, standing beside him, tapped his shoulder and called him.

‘So obnoxious, as expected…’

Clicking my tongue in annoyance, I turned my gaze away from him.

And quietly made my exit from the party hall.

***

The day after the party, I came down with a cold and was bedridden.

The family doctor said I would recover quickly if I took medicine and rested, and since my ankle wasn’t severely injured, it would be fine as long as I didn’t overexert myself.

Following his advice, I lay on my plush bed and spent the entire day sleeping.

While repeating the cycle of waking up and sleeping several times, I had a dream about Mikeron once.

Even in my dream, his face looking at me was flat and dry.

However, his blue eyes shone with a firm strength.

“Leviat Kinesis, live your own life. Stop doing this.”

“If you promise to stop the stalking, I will help you start a new life.”

The moment Mikeron Leilight said that, a strange sense of familiarity washed over me.

‘Did Mikeron ever say such words to me?’

I felt as though I had seen this scene before, yet at the same time, I hadn’t.

Despite it being a dream, my head spun.

Even though I deemed his upright eyes hypocritical, staring into them made my will to stay angry crumble completely.

I swallowed hard, unable to say a single word.

Even after waking up, the look in his eyes lingered in my mind.

Then, suddenly, a thought occurred to me.

‘Aside from Mikeron, how many people would go out of his way to help me while listening to my complaints?’

Putting aside my personal feelings and thinking calmly, Mikeron hadn’t actually done anything wrong.

He had merely done what was expected of him as the Knight of Light.

Though a part of my heart knew that very well, it only made my thoughts more complicated.

I buried my head into the pillow and let out a sigh.

***

“Philip, there’s something I want to ask you.”

“Yes, please go ahead.”

A few days later, my cold had completely cleared up, and I was back at my desk.

I paused my reading of documents and subtly questioned the butler who was assisting beside me.

“What do you think of someone who receives help but does nothing but complain?”

In that instant, the butler dropped the stack of documents he was holding.

Startled by the sound, I glanced up to see the butler’s face filled with absolute rage.

“What kind of person is that?”

“Huh?”

“Just what kind of ungrateful wretch would speak to you like that, Count?”

“No, it’s not like that…”

“Count, do not pay them any mind. There is no need to trouble your heart over such a person. They are simply not worth associating with.”

Well, yes. I understood the butler’s thoughts very well.

‘So he thinks I am an ungrateful wretch not worth associating with.’

Though the butler, who didn’t know the full story, was fuming on my behalf, my conscience was pricked so hard I felt as if I would cough up blood.

Rolling my eyes, I thought to myself.

‘I really should apologize for snapping at someone who tried to help me.’

‘But how on earth do I apologize?’

Tapping on my desk, I fell into deep thought. Should I try writing a letter again?

After finishing the approval of documents, I placed letter paper on my desk.

I gripped the pen tightly as if to break it, but holding it still didn’t magically yield a brilliant result.

Just what words should I use to start, and how should I wrap it up?

Staring intently at the blank paper on which I hadn’t written a single character while the night deepened into the early hours of morning, I let out a heavy sigh.

Maybe for anyone else, but saying mushy, embarrassing words to Mikeron made my skin crawl.

My pride simply refused to allow it.

‘Was I really such a narrow-minded person?’

Instead of writing a letter, I ended up falling into unnecessary self-reflection.

I crumpled the blank sheet of paper and tossed it away.

Since a letter was out of the question, I should settle it with a gift instead.

After all, nobody in this world dislikes gifts.

I decided I should go out and choose a gift for Mikeron this very day.

As soon as the sun rose and morning came, I finished preparing to head out with the help of a servant.

When I asked the butler to prepare a carriage, he looked at me with a worried gaze as I prepared to go out.

“Your ankle is still in bad condition… will you be alright?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll take a servant with me today.”

Although I preferred going alone because having a servant nearby was uncomfortable, I purposely pointed to the servant standing behind me so the butler wouldn’t worry.

The butler still looked worried, but he complied and bowed his head.

“Please be careful on your way.”

“Yes, I’ll return as soon as my business is finished.”

I offered a soft smile to reassure him.

Though my smile, which the butler misconstrued, only seemed to make his expression more worried.

***

Taking in the sight of the city I hadn’t visited in a while, I breathed in the air deeply.

As I walked slowly, the large fountain in the center of the plaza came into view.

Seeing it brought back vivid memories of the day I made a fool of myself in front of Mikeron while drunk.

‘Come to think of it, I plunged my face in there, didn’t I?’

And Mikeron helped me.

‘Why on earth is that bastard so desperate to help me?’

‘Didn’t he say he doesn’t like me?’

‘Then doesn’t that mean he dislikes me?’

‘I don’t understand why he keeps lingering in my sight and annoying me.’

Is it because he is the Knight of Light who protects people, so he simply can’t leave someone in trouble alone?

But since I wasn’t a knight, I couldn’t understand such a mentality, nor did I want to.

It wasn’t as if I had asked for help and then threw a tantrum, so should I just stop this reluctant task?

Racking my brain over all these thoughts as I walked, my body had somehow brought me to stand in front of a jewelry shop tucked away in an alleyway.

I narrowed my eyes and stared intently at the jewelry shop.

The corners of my eyes twitched.

‘Well, yes. As a human being, I can offer a simple gift, right?’

‘I can do that even for someone I dislike.’

Rationalizing fiercely in my head, I dragged my feet slowly into the shop.

“Welcome…”

Stepping into the jewelry shop, I saw the face of the shopkeeper, who welcomed me, turn sour as usual.

No matter which shop I visited—no, wherever I went—I was always an uninvited guest.

Such looks were no longer surprising, so I tried my best to ignore them and walked toward the showcase.

“Wh-What kind of gemstone are you looking for?”

The stiffened shopkeeper raised the corners of her mouth, asking as cordially as possible.

Ignoring her words, I examined the gemstones scattered sparsely inside the showcase.

Every single gemstone was glittering brilliantly and looked magnificent.

But regardless of how pretty they were, none caught my interest.

Just as I was debating whether to try another shop, a brooch set with a blue sapphire caught my eye.

Blue… The color of Mikeron’s eyes.

A clean and elegant color that brought the ocean to mind.

My eyes were tightly gripped by that brooch.

“S-Shall I prepare that one for you?”

The shopkeeper asked in a trembling voice.

I simply nodded without replying.

I couldn’t see anything other than that brooch.

Though it wasn’t a one-of-a-kind custom piece, it would serve perfectly fine as a gift.

Receiving my order, the shopkeeper carefully retrieved the brooch from the showcase, packed it into a jewelry case at lightning speed, and handed it to me.

She likely wanted me to get out of her shop as quickly as possible.

‘If that is her wish, I might as well grant it.’

Paying the price, I walked out of the jewelry shop with my servant.

Just then, someone who was about to enter the shop recognized me and called out.

“Look who it is. If it isn’t Count Kinesis?”

The person who greeted me with a cheerful laugh was Count Seimon Export.

I didn’t think we were close enough to exchange friendly greetings.

Though I felt uneasy, I bowed my head and greeted him.

“Hello.”

“I heard you left before the party fully ended that day. Did something happen?”

‘Why on earth is he asking that?’

It was detestable.

I briefly narrowed my eyes before quickly smoothing my expression back to normal.

“My stomach was feeling a bit upset. I had to head back early. I apologize.”

“No, that can happen. I hope we can stay together until the end next time.”

I let his words, which didn’t contain a single drop of sincerity, go in one ear and out the other.

Thinking I had humored him enough, I was about to leave when he spoke again.

“But what brings you to a jewelry shop? Ah, did you purchase some gem to present to Baron Mariel?”

“Ah, well…”

“You are truly amazing, Count. How you don’t care at all about what others think and can recklessly throw yourself at the one you fancy.”

He was still smiling, but unconcealed disgust rolled off his gaze and voice.

Despite acting hypocritically at the party hall that day, he was now displaying thick hostility, likely because he believed no one else was around.

“Baron Mariel must suffer quite a lot as well. To be caught by a madman like you, of all people.”

Export grabbed one of my shoulders.

An intense unpleasantness crawled up from the shoulder he grabbed.

“I’m truly curious, just what kind of confidence makes you cling to Baron Mariel?”

As he pulled my shoulder close and whispered his question, my discomfort doubled.

Unable to bear it any longer, I stepped back with my sore foot and kept a safe distance from him.

“I do not understand what intention lies behind you asking such a thing.”

“No, it’s just pure curiosity. What kind of mindset does it take to live entirely as one pleases like you do?”

It was hard to understand why he was suddenly picking a fight.

‘Because he hates the sight of me?’

‘Because my crimson eyes creep him out?’

‘Or simply because I’m an easy target for entertainment?’

While I was racking my brain to figure out why on earth he was acting like this, he continued.

“You know, I feel incredibly sorry for Baron Mariel.”

“…”

“Since he is such an angelic person, of course an insolent human like you who doesn’t know their place would swarm around him.”

‘Something is strange.’

To say he was mentioning Mariel just to pick a fight with me, the frequency with which he brought him up was oddly high.

In fact, wasn’t he bringing up Mariel from start to finish?

Once that fact began to bother me, a strange assumption sprouted in my mind.

I asked, testing the waters.

“I’m sure it’s impossible, but by any chance, are you interested in Baron Mariel?”

In that instant, he shut his babbling mouth and stared at me with a cold gaze.

A chilling silence settled over the empty alleyway.

If it wasn’t true, he could have just denied it, but he simply ground his teeth in silence.

‘Wow, could it really be true?’

On the day I returned from the party, I had asked the butler to look into Export; he was a man in his mid-forties who already had two wives and four children.

Such a man was eyeing Mariel?

I was deeply shocked, but I tried hard not to let my thoughts show on my face.

“What, what do you dare think you know!”

“I apologize if it was my misunderstanding.”

In truth, I wasn’t particularly sorry, but I offered an apology for speaking so carelessly based on mere speculation.

Export, furious, huffed with an angry face before extending a large hand toward my servant who stood nearby.

My servant was grabbed by the collar and dragged before him.

Watching that scene, my entire body suddenly stiffened.

My heart began to thump wildly.

Export raised his other hand high.

In that moment, I felt the blood completely drain from my face.

Cold sweat broke out on my back.

In truth, I didn’t even know that servant’s name.

I only had memories of him looking at me with fearful eyes, a gaze I thoroughly disliked.

What did I care what happened to some servant I didn’t even like?

It had… nothing to do with me.

Just as I was about to look away and pretend not to notice, I saw the face of the servant I had been ignoring.

The moment I saw his watery, fragile eyes, a thought crossed my mind.

‘If I just look away and pretend not to see here, how am I any different from the people I’ve despised all this time?’

Caught in a brief phantom of the past, I grit my teeth.

And I firmly grabbed Export’s wrist.

“Stop this.”

My hand shook like crazy.

Though my breathing grew ragged, I didn’t back down, glaring straight at Export.

Count Export swung his arm in the opposite direction to shake off my hand.

Because of that, his forceful hand accidentally struck me across the face.

As I lost my balance and fell, Export let go of the servant’s collar in a panic.

Turning pale, the servant rushed over to check on me.

“C-Count…!”

The servant was trembling, entirely consumed by fear.

Though the problem was, I couldn’t tell whether his fear was directed toward the violent Export or toward me.

“Th-That’s why you shouldn’t have blocked me. You really are foolish,”

It became clear that he had intended to exert violence on my servant.

Export harbored feelings for Mariel.

That was likely why he particularly disliked me, who had once stalked Mariel.

Helping myself up with the servant’s assistance, I spoke calmly.

“You seem to be misunderstanding something, but to correct you on one point: I no longer have any interest in Baron Mariel.”

“…”

“Because I’ve finally realized my place.”

As I laughed self-deprecatingly, he glared at me with an displeased expression, shoved my shoulder irritably, and walked into the jewelry shop that had been his original destination.

“What on earth was that sudden bolt from the blue?”

I gently caressed my cheek in annoyance.

Having felt just how large and thick his hand was, I could feel my cheek swelling slightly through touch alone, even without a mirror.

But just then, the servant beside me bowed his head like a criminal and began to tremble.

“I-I’m so sorry. I should have taken the blow instead, but my mind went entirely blank for a moment… I’m sorry…”

He was likely terrified that he would be punished once we returned to the mansion.

Staring blankly down at the shivering servant who couldn’t even meet my eyes, I let out a long sigh.

“The person who committed the violence is the one at fault, what fault could possibly be yours?”

At my words, the servant snapped his head up.

His eyes, which had looked dazed at first, began to sparkle.

‘That gaze is a bit burdensome…’

Avoiding his gaze, I said we should head back.

“Yes!”

He answered in a loud voice and followed close behind my heels.

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