Chapter 13: A Heart That Refused to Hate

Though it was a faint memory, he had always crumpled his face whenever he looked at me.

He would glare in anger, straighten his face strictly, and, on very rare occasions, look at me with a subtle, inexplicable expression.

Perhaps that was why seeing Mikeron smile brightly at me felt so fresh and novel.

Even after Mikeron turned his head, I couldn’t snap out of my daze and merely stared blankly at his profile.

I never imagined a single smile from him could leave my mind so fluttered and unsettled.

“Duke.”

“Yes?”

Barely regaining my senses to break the silence, Mikeron, who had been watching the fireworks, turned back toward me.

Turning his head, he wasn’t scowling, nor did he look angry.

“You dislike me, don’t you?”

“I believe I have never once said I dislike you. I said I do not like you.”

“Isn’t that practically the exact same thing?”

When I frowned, feeling as though he was playing word games, a calm reply returned.

“It is the difference between having feelings or none at all. Disliking someone implies harboring hatred toward them.”

“If you have no feelings whatsoever, why do you look out for me like this?”

“Who knows. Perhaps it’s because my eyes keep wandering toward you?”

“Pardon?”

“You weigh on my mind, Count.”

I had no idea how I was supposed to take Mikeron’s words.

In what sense did I weigh on his mind?

Did he mean that he had never seen such a hopeless person like me before, and thus wanted to figure me out?

As I stared intently at Mikeron, he stared right back at me.

He urged me with his gaze, as if telling me to say whatever I wanted to say.

I did not avoid that unspoken invitation.

“Why do I weigh on your mind?”

“Because seeing you reminds me of a certain person.”

‘A person who comes to mind?’

Who could that be?

Interrupting my quiet speculations, I shook my head in surprise.

Whoever he thought of, what did it have to do with me?

Not wanting to probe deeper, I shut my mouth tight.

“Is there nothing else you would like to ask?”

Mikeron asked in a subtle, suggestive tone.

To be honest, I was far more curious about the current relationship between Mikeron and Mariel than some stranger.

Seeing as he had left Mariel behind alone, it seemed they weren’t in a deeply romantic relationship at this point in time.

I asked, testing the waters.

“What do you think of Baron Mariel, Duke?”

The instant I asked about Mariel, Mikeron’s expression hardened.

I adopted as harmless an expression as possible so as not to cause any strange misunderstandings.

Perhaps my composure worked, because he replied dryly.

“Mariel is my Academy classmate and a close friend.”

“And?”

“Why are you asking me such a thing? Do you still harbor lingering feelings for Mariel?”

Asking further had only brought back his suspicious glare.

I quickly denied it.

“It’s nothing like that. Please don’t misunderstand.”

Mikeron stared at me intently, as if looking right through my thoughts.

Fireworks burst in the sky once more.

Perhaps because it was a red firework, a reddish light flickered within Mikeron’s blue eyes before returning to normal.

“I still cannot fully trust you, Count.”

I already knew that Mikeron distrusted me.

It wasn’t just Mikeron; anyone else would be the same.

However, there was no reason why I needed to earn his trust.

Our relationship was one where calling us ‘acquaintances’ was already too grand a title.

“It doesn’t matter even if you don’t trust…”

“However.”

I had intended to say that whatever he thought of me wouldn’t affect me in the slightest, but he cut off my words mid-sentence.

“As I told you last time, I will listen to what you say before anyone else.”

“…”

“I will listen to your words, uncover the truth, and make my judgment at the very end. Although I cannot fully trust you yet, I will choose to believe your explanations.”

I thought it was nonsense, but strangely, it hit home.

Because what he just said to me meant that even if everyone in the world blamed me and pointed fingers, he alone would stand on my side.

When such a situation actually arose, he might turn his back and change his words as if he never said them, yet seeing his eyes shine steadfastly even in the dark made my heart sway.

“Damn it…”

“What is wrong?”

As I muttered a low curse, Mikeron asked in a voice filled with wonder.

Glaring at him with a displeased expression, I pouted.

“I wish you were an utterly terrible person instead, Duke.”

“What on earth…”

Mikeron shook his head with a look of pure bewilderment.

It was understandable.

Even I would have made the exact same face if someone blurted that out to me out of nowhere.

Yet I was entirely sincere.

I truly hated Mikeron, but now I couldn’t just hate him blindly, so I rather wished he were a bad person.

Because then, I could hate him and curse him to my heart’s content.

Even these paradoxical emotions turned into frustration, burning me up inside.

“I hate you so much, Duke.”

“I know.”

As if completely unfazed, Mikeron silently nodded his head.

Unlike me, who was dragged around by all sorts of emotions, I also thoroughly disliked how relaxed he looked all by himself.

“Seriously, I hate you so much I can’t even stand the sight of you.”

“Yes.”

“So why… can’t I fully hate you?”

“…”

“Why are you so perfect on your own that you won’t even let me hate you with all my heart? I am angry because you are a better person than I thought you were.”

“So what you mean right now is…”

Only after seeing Mikeron sink deep into thought did I suddenly snap back to reality.

‘What on earth did I just say?’

I felt all the color drain from my face.

I wasn’t even drunk, yet swept up by the atmosphere, I had babbled something utterly embarrassing.

Mikeron stopped pondering and turned his head.

His serious eyes were directed straight at me.

Wondering what that bastard was going to say next, my tongue dried up and I swallowed hard.

“You mean that you don’t dislike me, then?”

Just what kind of overly optimistic brain structure does one need to arrive at such an absurd conclusion?

The moment I heard the conclusion he reached after careful thought, my mind exploded.

I was so utterly speechless that my words stuck in my throat, but if I said nothing now, he would definitely misunderstand.

I rambled in a hurry.

“No? Just what did you hear my words as? That’s truly horrific, so please don’t entertain such illusions.”

The words burst out rapidly like someone who had been hit right on the nerve.

Seeing me flustered, Mikeron burst into laughter.

Watching him smile so brightly without any mocking intent, I couldn’t say another word.

A brightly smiling Mikeron was surprisingly fatal.

“Yes. I understood your words very well, Count.”

No, he clearly hadn’t understood even one percent of what I said.

Otherwise, there was no way he would be grinning with such a sly expression.

Just as I was glaring at Mikeron with displeasure and biting my lip, the sound of fireworks exploding rang out.

A pink glow spread across Mikeron’s face.

“It is the final firework. The firework in the shape of the Goddess signifies the grand finale of the festival.”

Putting my glaring aside, I followed the direction his finger pointed.

A pink flame that soared high into the sky shone enchantingly in the shape of the Goddess.

It was the first time in my life I had seen such a magnificent sight.

“Wow…”

An exclamation leaked through my slightly parted lips.

I slowly engraved those fireworks into my eyes.

From now on, whenever the spring festival was mentioned, I wanted to cherish this view for a long time so I would remember this scene instead of the backs of those two people.

“Do you like it?”

I didn’t answer and merely nodded my head.

While I was focused, the sound of laughter broke out beside me once again.

But I didn’t care.

Even blinking my eyes felt like a waste.

The fireworks vanished before long, but feeling the lingering resonance that wouldn’t end, I placed a hand over my chest.

My heart was still beating wildly.

“With this, the festival has ended.”

As the fireworks drew to a close, Mikeron slowly rose from his seat.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yes, I think I must head back to Mariel now. I had a wonderful time today.”

Mikeron bowed politely and turned his back.

Was it because I was swept up in the atmosphere, or was it because the scene I just saw was so beautiful?

I instinctively tugged at his coat.

At that, Mikeron turned his head back toward me once again.

“I had fun as well, Duke.”

It was a festival I attended without much thought, but it was far more enjoyable than expected.

I almost grew depressed again, but thanks to him, I was able to spend it pleasantly until the very end.

As I smiled brightly, Mikeron’s eyes opened wide.

He stared blankly at me like someone who had lost his mind.

When his gaze didn’t leave me for a while, I felt deeply unsettled.

Just as I was contemplating whether I should say something, he, who had been silent, exhaled vaguely.

“Ah…”

“What is it? Is there a problem?”

“No, it’s nothing…”

Fanning himself with his hand as if the surroundings were hot, he averted his gaze.

It was still spring, so the nights were chilly, by no means warm weather.

When I stared at him with a puzzled look, feeling pressured, he hastily offered his farewell.

“I will truly take my leave now.”

“Yes, get home safely.”

He turned around, clunking like rusty tin, and quickly departed.

It was my first time seeing Mikeron flustered, so I felt a sense of satisfaction seeing him lose his composure for once.

As I watched his back recede into the distance, Noah, whom I had sent on an errand, ran over panting heavily.

“I-I’m sorry I’m late! The fireworks started midway, and I… my eyes were completely stolen by the fireworks!”

“Did you go make the food instead of buying it?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have come straight back without getting distracted.”

With a tearful face, Noah kept bowing his head repetitively.

“It’s fine. Let’s just eat what you bought here before we leave.”

“Uh, here?”

Noah glanced around with an awkward face.

Following his lead to scan the area, I saw couples whose hearts were aligned embracing, kissing, and openly showing affection without hesitation.

“…Let’s go back to the carriage and eat.”

“Yes, yes!”

On the way back to the carriage with Noah, perhaps due to the shocking sight I had witnessed earlier, the memory of Mikeron and Mariel kissing flashed in my mind.

Letting out a quiet breath, I looked up at the darkening sky.

For some reason, my mind felt cluttered and uneasy.