Chapter 19: Happy and Hyunseo, Yeres and you (2)

This place is the edge of the abyss.

That was the thought that crossed my mind, and I hated that it did.

But both objectively and subjectively, this place was a hell unlike anything I had ever experienced before.

I had believed that there was no lower depth to fall to,

and that if such a thing were to happen,

it would be a horrific future where I would take my own life, without even the protection of the Quest Jewel.

So I had felt a small sense of relief.

I had no desire to die here.

I was already completely broken, already shattered beyond repair.

And even in that state, I had managed to reclaim my pride by remembering the moment I had been at my strongest.

I had kept my hope alive until the very end.

I had found a way to escape.

I had thought that I could do this on my own,

that I didn’t need the Quest Jewel’s protection anymore.

Until just a moment ago, I had even felt a twisted sense of pride in myself.

Enough.

But this wasn’t the edge of the abyss.

At best, it was merely the beginning of hell,

or perhaps the middle of the descent.

Why do I think that?

Because my entire life was being denied.

Because my past struggles,

all the desperate clawing and fighting I had done,

were now being made meaningless.

Happy had killed me 131 times.

No—if I counted the smaller, insignificant deaths as well,

it was probably well over 200.

I had spent my entire existence collecting information.

For the sake of destroying this world,

I had spent lifetimes analyzing enemy weaknesses,

comparing them to my own strengths over and over again.

Comparing, comparing, comparing, Yeres.

Comparing, comparing, comparing—Stop it.

Comparing, comparing, comparing—Don’t do this.

Comparing, comparing, comparing—You can’t give up.

My entire past was built upon endless comparisons,

and all of that knowledge was still inside my head.

But now, I had to erase it all.

Because the truth was—

I didn’t know anything about Happy.

The things I had only just discovered in my 132nd life were so bitter

that they were impossible to swallow.

Not just bitter—

they were sour,

so sour they left a sharp aftertaste.

Enough self-loathing.

And yet, it didn’t end there.

I didn’t even fully understand my own state.

If my mind had been divided the way Magical Girl Happy and high school girl Hyun-seo had been,

If I had just known who this “something inside me” was,

then maybe I wouldn’t have felt so miserable.

So let me ask again.

Who are you?

What do you want from me?

I know you want me to survive.

But who the hell are you to be inside my mind?!

…

Answer me.

Answer me!

Answ—

Don’t doubt me.

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Focus on escaping, Yeres.

What was I thinking about just now?

My time as the Queen of Darkmoon?

The magical girl who abducted and tortured me?

The pain I had endured until now?

The distorted hope that had started to swell inside me?

The cheesy magical girl incantation, For Love and Peace?

The green gemstone in the first drawer?

The half-full 500mL plastic water bottle and how to use it?

Oh, right.

Both her and I…

I had been thinking about how we were both suffering from some kind of dissociative disorder.

I was momentarily startled by the abrupt interference from the “something inside me”,

but the calmness that followed washed over me.

As a result, I forgot what I had been feeling just moments ago.

But I accepted it.

Looking back at my life,

it wasn’t surprising that I had developed some kind of mental illness.

A normal person only dies once in their lifetime.

I had died 131 times to Happy alone.

And if I counted all my other deaths,

I had probably died over 200 times.

But at least the thing inside me wasn’t like Happy.

It didn’t torture me.

It didn’t try to take over my body.

If anything,

whenever I was about to break,

it had always held me together.

It had helped me see things objectively.

So this time, too—

I decided to listen to it.

Because this was the lowest point I could fall.

From here, the only direction left was up.

I braced my mind, anchoring myself to reality.

“Unnie, are you really going to keep acting like this?”

The voice belonged to not Happy—but Hyun-seo.

I lowered my gaze.

The perspective felt different from when I had been sitting in the chair.

This was how it should be.

She was 155 cm, and I was 178 cm.

If Hyun-seo stood in front of me,

she would look like a cicada clinging to a tree.

“Just say something.

I’m asking you nicely.”

Still clinging to me,

she tilted her head back, looking up with desperate eyes.

This was a different side of Happy.

One that lacked the overwhelming love and madness she usually carried.

But the meaning behind her behavior was the same.

She desperately wanted me to love her.

“There’s no time, Happy.

Your mother will be looking for you soon.”

Even as I remained silent, time continued to move relentlessly.

She only had five minutes.

If she stayed past that,

who knew what her mother would do to her?

“Twenty seconds left.”

“Haa…”

At Lunt’s urging, Hyun-seo let out a deep sigh.

She slowly turned toward the basement stairs,

but kept glancing back at me, reluctant to leave.

That’s when a wicked thought crossed my mind.

If what Lunt said was true,

I wouldn’t have many chances to see her again.

And I had already figured out how to control Happy.

If I could control Happy,

then controlling Hyun-seo might not be impossible either.

Maybe it was arrogance,

but the confidence made me open my mouth.

“Hyun-seo.”

She never expected me to call her name.

Halfway up the stairs,

Hyun-seo turned back, her face lighting up with a radiant smile.

Just as planned.

“Y-Yes, Yeres unnie?”

Tears welled up in her eyes,

unable to contain the overflowing emotions.

She couldn’t even detect the malice hidden in my kindness.

She just smiled because I smiled.

I almost laughed at her for it.

Go ahead, live your whole life in this delusion.

I still hate you.

And I will never move according to your will.

“Have a good day at school.”

“…Yes!”

I even waved at her.

With renewed energy, Hyun-seo rushed out of the basement.

At that moment,

a new desire bloomed inside me—

I wanted to see the despair on Happy and Hyun-seo’s faces when I escaped.

“Park Hyun-seo!

Are you ready?”

“Yes! I’m coming!”

“Hurry up!”

The voices from beyond the barrier grew distant.

Soon, the exit to the basement was shut.

Now, I was completely alone.

The only furniture left in this space was a single chair.

The monitoring equipment in the corner wasn’t furniture.

I pushed it aside, then collapsed into the center chair.

“Huh?”

Something in my pocket poked against my thigh.

I pulled it out.

It was the smartphone Happy had tried to give me.

She must have slipped it in while hugging me,

or placed it in my dolphin shorts beforehand.

Without thinking, I pressed the button to turn it on.

There was no lock screen.

The wallpaper was a photo of Happy winking at me.

I quickly swiped to the next screen,

finding a note app already open.

It contained a few details:

• There’s an ID card in the phone case.
• XX Pay has been registered.
• PIN: 1111.
• Feel free to change it ❤️.

There wasn’t anything else of interest.

The phone had an active 5G network,

meaning someone was paying for it.

The contacts only listed Happy and Hyun-seo.

There were no messages,

and no social media apps installed.

The first thought that came to mind was to call Alpha.

But I shook my head violently, forcing the thought away.

If Happy had installed a tracking app,

then she had definitely installed a wiretap too.

I vowed never to use it.

I threw the phone on the ground—

Keep it in your pocket.

…I put it back in my pocket.

Think about it.

Happy is just a high school student.

You’ve seen how oppressive her mother is.

Then how does she have multiple phones?

And how did she afford that weird monitoring device?

The voice inside me was always right.

Looking back, Happy had shown me three different phones.

1. The first one, which she returned in the living room.
2. The second one, used to take pictures and record my voice.
3. And now, the third one—the one she gave me.

Not to mention that strange medical device.

Even if she received a large allowance,

there was no way a high schooler could buy a patient monitoring system.

And Yeres.

You’re trusting Lunt’s words way too much.

Make sure to verify whether that cat is telling the truth.

That, too, was correct.

I stood up immediately and walked toward the hidden drawer Lunt had mentioned.

“…For Love and Peace.”

The wall shifted, revealing the cabinet from before.

I opened the first drawer.

Inside was the 500mL plastic water bottle and the green gemstone.

But next to them—

[It’s been a while.]

I froze.

The Quest Jewel.

The one I thought I had destroyed.

It greeted me as if it had been waiting all along.

A storm of indescribable emotions surged inside me.