Chapter 1: The Desire to Be a Girl

From what point had it truly begun? This yearning to be a girl.

Lin Duo sat quietly in a corner of the sports field, cradling a book in his hands, completely out of sync with the surrounding clamor.

Suddenly, a basketball slammed violently into his shoulder. Lin Duo winced, clutching his arm in pain, and looked up to find a tall boy with a buzz cut standing before him.

“Hey, come play basketball!” The tall boy’s face showed not a trace of apology.

“I… I don’t know how…” Lin Duo timidly lowered his head.

From a distance, the jeers of other boys drifted over: “Can’t even play basketball? Are you even a man?!”

“This guy looks so feminine, not like a man at all. He’s clearly a cross-dresser!”

“Hahaha, you’re right! How can such a disgusting person be in our class!”

Lin Duo trembled as he picked up his book again, trying desperately to block out their words.

Yet, the tall boy showed no sign of letting him off. He raised the basketball and smacked it against Lin Duo’s thigh. Lin Duo looked up, but he dared not voice his anger.

Seeing his reaction, the other boy’s words grew even more unrestrained: “I heard from your elementary school classmates that once in class, you said in front of everyone that you wanted to be a girl. Is that true?”

Lin Duo merely glared at him, refusing to answer.

“Hey, you freak! What are you staring at? Answer me!” The tall boy raised the basketball in his hand, poised to strike again.

Just then, a girl rushed over, stepping in front of the boy. “Hey, are you bullying Lin Duo again!”

“Bullying? I’m just inviting him to join a group activity.” The tall boy’s face was devoid of remorse.

“I don’t care! If you bother him anymore, I’ll tell the teacher!”

The girl’s threat had some effect. The tall boy mumbled a few words before finally walking away.

The girl sat beside Lin Duo, tenderly rubbing his swollen left arm. “Gao Tianshu is truly too much, bullying you like this! Next time he does it, just tell the teacher; I’ll go with you!”

“Thank you, Jiang Chengying.” Having someone suddenly show such concern made Lin Duo’s eyes well up.

“Pfft, don’t be so formal, we’re friends after all!” Jiang Chengying’s smile revealed two adorable dimples. “But it must be so boring sitting alone during every PE class. Come over and play shuttlecock with us instead!”

Lin Duo hesitated for a moment, then shook his head. “No need, I… I’m a little tired.”

Jiang Chengying felt a pang of pity for the delicate-looking boy before her and decided to stay with him a little longer. “Lin Duo, I remember you have a twin brother named Lin Cheng, right? And he’s in the class next door.”

Lin Duo’s body quivered slightly, and he nodded softly.

“I heard your brother excels in academics and sports; he’s even the ace player on the class basketball team. Why don’t you ask him for help when you’re being bullied?”

“I… I don’t like to trouble others…” Lin Duo lowered his head, speaking in a hushed voice.

“Oh, you really are…” Jiang Chengying struggled to find the right words. “Alright, my friends are calling me over, so I won’t bother you anymore. If the boys bother you again, just shout for me!”

After Jiang Chengying left, Lin Duo picked up his book and continued to read in silence.

Finally, the dismissal bell rang, signaling the end of PE class, and students gradually made their way back to their classroom

***

Lin Duo returned to his seat and pulled out a small chewing gum box he always carefully guarded from his backpack. Just as he was about to open it, the boy at the next desk snatched it away.

“Hey, let me have a few pieces.”

Lin Duo panicked. “You can’t eat that, it contains…”

“Contains what?” The boy at the next desk blinked. “Hmph, a box of gum doesn’t cost much, why are you so stingy! Hey, who wants some of Lin Duo’s gum!”

“I do!”

“Give me a few!”

Middle school boys were always enthusiastic about free food, and the small container of gum was quickly divided. Lin Duo watched all of it unfold, powerless to stop it, and his eyes reddened as tears welled up.

That was because the box didn’t contain gum; it held pills worth several hundred yuan.

These were the pills that could help him become a girl.

The boy at the next desk noticed Lin Duo’s distress and, with a look of disdain, tossed the empty container back. “It’s just a box of gum, is it really that big a deal? Here, take the money!”

Lin Duo didn’t take the coins offered to him; instead, he began to sob softly.

Jiang Chengying also noticed something was amiss and rushed over, scolding the boy, “You guys are really too much!”

“Tch, it’s not like I wasn’t offering money; he just didn’t want it!” The boy at the next desk retorted righteously.

Jiang Chengying was about to speak further when the teacher entered the classroom. The mischievous students quickly scrambled back to their seats, and Lin Duo hurriedly pulled out a tissue to wipe his eyes, striving to appear normal.

This was history class, a bit dull, and many students secretly played on their phones. Lin Duo, however, stared blankly at the ponytail of the girl in front of him. He had always wanted to grow his hair long like that, but his parents absolutely forbade it; any time his hair grew a little, he would be ordered to cut it short.

These past two days, his parents had been pressing him to get a haircut again, and he had been finding various excuses to delay it.

Finally, the long school day concluded, and the dismissal bell rang. A group of excited middle schoolers either headed to the sports field to play or rushed home.

Lin Duo’s home was not far from school, a twenty-minute walk, but for him, home was hardly a warm haven.

****

When Lin Duo arrived home, his brother, Lin Cheng, had already beaten him there, lounging lazily on the sofa watching TV. “Hey, little brother, Mom and Dad are working late today, so go make dinner for me.”

Lin Duo silently went to his room to put down his backpack, then slipped into the kitchen, donned an apron, and began preparing dinner.

Lin Cheng and Lin Duo were fraternal twin brothers, but because Lin Cheng was born a few seconds earlier, he became the older brother. However, the two were completely dissimilar in every aspect. For example, in terms of height, both were fourteen and in their second year of middle school, yet Lin Cheng was nearly 1.8 meters tall, comparable to many adults.

Lin Duo, in contrast, was just over 1.5 meters, looking like a small pudding next to Lin Cheng. Furthermore, Lin Cheng was robust and muscular, loved playing basketball, and had even won first place in the 400-meter and 800-meter races at the school sports meet last week. It was said that many girls secretly admired him.

Conversely, Lin Duo hardly ever exercised; his physique was even weaker than that of girls his age.

Lin Duo placed the prepared dinner in front of Lin Cheng. Lin Cheng took two bites and expressed his satisfaction. “Your only good quality, little brother, is your cooking.”

Seeing that his brother was in a good mood, Lin Duo mustered his courage to make a request. “Brother, I’ve run out of my allowance this month. Could you lend me a little?”

“Lend you money?” Lin Cheng eyed his younger brother curiously. “Mom and Dad give us the same allowance, and I never see you buying snacks or toys. How did you spend all your money?”

“I… I spent it on game top-ups,” Lin Duo offered a strained excuse.

“Is that so? But what does your wasteful spending have to do with me? No, I won’t lend you any!”

Seeing Lin Cheng’s firm resolve, Lin Duo felt a surge of panic. After all, his current supply of medication had been inadvertently consumed by those boys earlier today, and if he couldn’t buy more in time, he would run out, which would severely disrupt his original plans. He bit his lip, pleading in a voice bordering on desperation: “Brother, this is the first time I’ve ever asked you for money. Please, you must help me! If you help me this once, I’m willing to do anything for you!”

“Anything?” Lin Cheng seemed intrigued. “Alright, if you agree to this, I’ll lend you the money.”

With that, Lin Cheng extended his dirty athletic shoe, placing it by the sofa. “Lick it clean.”

Lin Duo thought he had misheard, and he looked up in shock.

“I just saw this kind of scene in a manga. Licking shoes is a ritual for a s*ave to pledge loyalty to their master. Since you want to borrow money from me, you should show some sincerity, shouldn’t you?” Lin Cheng’s lazy voice sounded as if he were discussing a trivial matter.

Though Lin Duo desperately needed the money, he also had his pride, and he firmly shook his head.

Unexpectedly, Lin Cheng sprang up from the sofa with a ‘whoosh,’ grabbing Lin Duo’s hair and growling, “This is an order, do you understand? Do you know the consequences of disobeying an order?”

Lin Duo’s body began to tremble uncontrollably, but he still resisted. “Brother, this is too much, please—oof—”

Before he could finish, a solid punch landed on his stomach. Lin Duo clutched his abdomen, curling into a painful ball.

“A useless younger brother like you, your only purpose is to be my servant, for me to vent upon.” Lin Cheng’s voice drifted down from above.

“I… I’m going to tell Mom and Dad!” Lin Duo painfully squeezed out a sentence.

Another heavy kick landed on his lower abdomen. Lin Cheng, like an emperor, coldly looked down at Lin Duo from his elevated position. “Mom and Dad don’t like you much either, so even if you complain, it won’t do any good. If you don’t want to suffer anymore, just obey!”

Seeing that Lin Duo still wasn’t reacting, Lin Cheng lost his patience. He directly pressed Lin Duo’s fair, delicate face onto his dirty sneakers. “Lick it! Lick it now!”

Despite the painful expression on his face, his cheek scraped raw by the shoe’s surface, Lin Duo still refused to yield, trying to straighten his body.

Ultimately, Lin Cheng gave up first, releasing him. “How boring, you won’t even do such a small thing.”

With that, he pulled three red banknotes from his wallet and threw them on the ground. “Consider it your reward! I’ve eaten my fill; I’m going to a friend’s house to play PS4. You clean up the kitchen.”