Chapter 12: Four In The Morning

So-won had another nightmare that night.

Because he hadn’t dreamed at all when he took a brief nap in Tae-woo’s private room, he thought he would be fine, but once again the scenery of the operating room appeared in his sleep.

In the end, not long after falling asleep, So-won jolted awake in shock.

Lying still in the pre-dawn hours, before even the sun had risen, So-won sank into thought.

His fear of Tae-woo was being overcome better than he’d expected.

Even when he thought of him now, he wasn’t as frightened as before, and in Tae-woo’s private room, he had even slept peacefully with his head resting against Tae-woo’s arm.

And yet, the fact that he still dreamed of Tae-woo dying suggested that the problem wasn’t fear, but something far more fundamental.

Was it guilt over his death after all.

Or was it a vague fear that, having returned to the past, he might be sent back at any moment to the day Tae-woo died.

So-won thought that if he stayed with Tae-woo, he wouldn’t have nightmares.

That inexplicable anxiety would vanish the moment he saw Tae-woo alive and breathing.

So-won carefully clasped his right hand—the one that had held Tae-woo’s hand earlier that day.

The warmth lingered vividly in his memory.

Groping through the pitch-dark blankets, So-won found the phone hidden beneath them.

When he turned on the screen, the bright light calmed him a little.

He scrolled through his contacts and pressed Tae-woo’s name.

As soon as he hit the call button, the familiar ringing tone flowed out.

Only then did So-won notice the time displayed on the screen.

“Ah….”

Four in the morning.

No matter how diligent someone was, it would be hard to be awake at this hour.

So-won came to his senses too late, and the call was already ringing.

Afraid his call might wake Tae-woo, So-won hurriedly tried to hang up.

But the ringing stopped.

Thinking the call had ended, So-won checked the screen, only to see that it hadn’t disconnected.

The words In Call were displayed, and the call duration was steadily increasing.

Startled, So-won brought the phone to his ear.

On the other end, there was only silence.

“Hello?”

Was the call really connected.

So-won spoke cautiously.

–Lee So-won?

From the other end, where he hadn’t expected any reply, Tae-woo’s low voice came through.

More than the fact that Tae-woo had answered, So-won felt overwhelming relief simply from hearing his voice.

Whenever he had a nightmare, the anxiety lingered—yet confirming that Tae-woo was alive calmed him almost instantly.

Once he regained his composure, guilt about calling so early—or rather, in the dead of night—set in.

“Yes, that’s me, Lee So-won… I’m sorry for calling so late.

Were you asleep?”

–No.

I was awake.

His voice wasn’t hoarse, so it seemed to be true.

Yet So-won’s own voice was thick with sleepiness when he’d asked.

Feeling embarrassed, So-won cleared his throat softly.

–Is something wrong?

Tae-woo asked.

Something was wrong.

So-won had dreamed of Tae-woo dying, and that was the reason he’d called.

But he couldn’t say that outright.

So he skipped the cause and went straight to the conclusion.

“Can I move in today?”

–Today… you mean today?

“Is that… not okay?”

Even to himself, it sounded like an unreasonable request.

At Tae-woo’s hesitant reaction, So-won trailed off, disappointment evident in his voice.

It sounded unmistakably dejected, even to his own ears.

But even if he had to ask like this, So-won wanted to go to Tae-woo’s house as soon as possible.

He felt that once he returned there, the nightmares that kept tormenting him would finally stop.

Unable to keep his fingers still, So-won waited for Tae-woo’s answer.

–No.

It’s fine.

I’ll prepare a room, then.

“Really?”

So-won’s expression brightened in an instant.

Because he’d assumed refusal was inevitable given the short notice, the happiness hit even harder.

After smiling silently to himself, he suddenly felt embarrassed about calling at four in the morning with such a request.

This time, his fingers twisted together tightly.

“I’m sorry for calling so early.

I’ll be more careful next time.”

A long silence followed on the other end.

It really must have been a nuisance.

If only he’d checked the time a little sooner, this wouldn’t have happened.

So-won reproached himself.

–…It’s fine.

Once again, the silence stretched on.

This time, it was So-won’s turn to respond.

He racked his brain, but nothing came to mind.

Unable to let the silence drag on any longer, So-won finally brought the conversation to a close.

“I’ll contact you again once the time’s decided.

Good night, Tae-woo.”

It was far too late for a bedtime greeting, but the two of them exchanged formal farewells anyway.

After hearing Tae-woo’s reply, So-won immediately hung up.

A quiet stillness settled around him.

Only after the call ended did regret set in—because the darkness without Tae-woo’s voice still felt frightening.

So-won spent the rest of the night awake.

The trace of Tae-woo left in the call log was the only proof that he was still alive.

In the end, So-won failed to keep his promise.

Packing took far longer than he’d expected, and there were no moving companies available that same day.

After staring dejectedly at the half-packed boxes he’d managed over several hours, So-won contacted Tae-woo to postpone the move by a few days.

“Son, are you leaving already?

You said you only had to move within a month.

It’s only been a week….”

So-won’s mother looked at him with concern as he collapsed from exhaustion while packing.

Though So-won had managed to persuade his parents, he hadn’t eased their worries.

As a result, he was now receiving their concern in full every single day.

“He may look a bit… like that, but he’s not a bad person.”

“Even if he’s not bad, what if he accidentally bumps into you and breaks something?”

“…Well…”

So-won couldn’t answer.

He was worried too.

Because Tae-woo had gone so long without proper guiding, he struggled with controlling his strength, and there was a well-known anecdote about him breaking someone’s hand during a handshake at an event.

Some even said it wasn’t broken, but crushed.

That was why So-won was afraid of guiding Tae-woo.

Afraid that Tae-woo might accidentally hurt him.

Though Tae-woo had never injured So-won in the past eight years, worry was unavoidable.

“Goodness….”

When So-won couldn’t reply, his mother’s concern only deepened.

Seeing her son awaken as a Guide and sob as if the world had ended in the emergency room, only to firmly declare he would become Kang Tae-woo’s Guide, felt unfamiliar to her.

The So-won she knew was kind and gentle, but timid.

That such a child would become the Guide of Kang Tae-woo—whom people called a monster—and live in the same space filled her with endless worry.

The joy of awakening as an A-rank Guide had lasted only a moment.

He was immediately designated as Kang Tae-woo’s Guide, and with each passing day, So-won’s complexion had grown worse.

Even if he said he was fine, it was obvious he wasn’t.

She let out a deep sigh.

***

So-won did not sleep.

If he slept, he was certain he would have another nightmare.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t tired, but he stayed awake all night.

Because of that, his face looked a little haggard, but without nightmares, his mind was actually clearer.

So-won firmly believed that once he returned to Tae-woo’s house, the nightmares would stop.

So one night without sleep was fine.

After sending all his belongings in the morning, So-won’s room was completely empty.

He sat on the bare floor, staring blankly out the window.

Now that the moment had come, he didn’t want to go to Tae-woo’s house.

In the eight years he’d lived there, all he’d accumulated were bad memories.

He could probably sleep there again, but…

He was afraid that returning might bring back the depression he’d only just managed to overcome.

“So-won, if anything happens, you have to call us.”

After eating lunch with his family, they said their goodbyes.

Seeing tears welling in his parents’ eyes made So-won choke up too.

It felt as if this were a farewell to a family he would never see again.

In truth, Tae-woo’s house wasn’t very far from So-won’s apartment.

Because it was located in a quiet area on the outskirts of Seoul, getting there without a car was difficult, but it was only about an hour’s drive away.

If he really wanted to, he could come home at any time.

In the past, So-won had often taken advantage of this and run away from Tae-woo’s house.

Declining his parents’ send-off, So-won took a taxi toward Tae-woo’s home.

When the dense high-rise buildings disappeared and a quiet, tree-filled landscape like the countryside came into view, he knew he was close.

“We’ve arrived.”

“Thank you.”

As he stepped out of the taxi, a massive house greeted him—grand enough to feel overwhelming.

From the outside, Tae-woo’s house looked enormous, but its thick walls made the interior feel smaller than expected.

For So-won, it was Tae-woo’s house again after only a week.

Since there had been times in the past when he’d run away for months, it didn’t feel all that long since he’d last seen it.