Chapter 58: An Unacceptable Request

“So I told him to look for another guide besides me… but he refused.

He said at the very least, their looks have to be above average, or something like that….”

Now that he thought about it, Si-hyeok’s guide, despite her sickly complexion, was quite beautiful.

She had a slender face that suited her short hair well, with gentle eyes.

Her small, straight nose and striking lips made it easy to believe she could be an actress like Si-hyeok herself.

Yet her personality was the complete opposite of his.

Her rarely smiling expression, and the way she stayed quiet the entire time she was beside Si-hyeok, made that clear.

“Is Esper Choi Si-hyeok… always like that?”

“You mean obnoxious?”

“Ah, um… yes.”

So-won blinked at the blunt wording, then nodded.

“He can be mischievous, but he’s not actually a bad person.

He’s just terrible at being honest.

The reason he canceled the gate schedule last time wasn’t because he was annoyed—it was because my condition suddenly worsened.”

“Your condition is… really that bad?”

“It’s apparently a rare disease that only affects guides.

They say I don’t have much time left.”

So-won couldn’t bring himself to continue the conversation.

If he’d known things were that bad—bad enough that guiding wasn’t even possible—he shouldn’t have asked.

This mouth of mine is always the problem.

“Sometimes even I can’t believe it.

On days like today, when I’m feeling good, I really feel completely fine.”

She reached out toward a butterfly passing by.

The gesture looked like she wanted time itself to pause, and So-won stopped walking.

“I hate being cooped up in the hospital, so sometimes Choi Si-hyeok takes me out like this.

He could use his ability, but he always insists on pushing the wheelchair himself.”

Come to think of it, both the first time So-won met them and today, Si-hyeok had pushed her wheelchair with his own hands.

He could have moved effortlessly with telekinesis.

Maybe that’s why she said he’s not a bad person.

Even so, he was still someone So-won wanted to avoid.

“Guide Lee So-won.”

They’d never formally introduced themselves, yet she knew his name.

So-won was briefly surprised, but quickly guessed why.

He’d been introduced to Si-hyeok in front of her before, and even if not then, Si-hyeok might have talked about him—or she could have seen So-won’s information from the recent Association briefing.

“What kind of existence is Esper Kang Tae-woo to you, Guide Lee So-won?”

“…..”

So-won couldn’t answer right away.

She looked at him with gentle, understanding eyes.

“The relationship between an Esper and a guide…

It’s really complicated, isn’t it?”

As soon as she finished speaking, So-won spotted Si-hyeok and Tae-woo walking toward them from afar.

She noticed them too and began moving her wheelchair herself.

So-won hurried to follow, offering to push for her, but she shook her head.

She went with Si-hyeok.

So-won went with Tae-woo.

Only after they parted did So-won realize—he still didn’t know her name.

***

Tae-woo watched So-won’s retreating figure as the wheelchair was pushed farther and farther away.

So-won kept glancing back, his steps hesitant.

Only after So-won and Si-hyeok’s guide disappeared from view did Si-hyeok finally speak.

“Esper Kang Tae-woo, shall we talk now?”

Tae-woo turned his gaze toward him.

Since Si-hyeok had once again tried to receive guiding from So-won, there had been no choice but to send So-won elsewhere first.

But the moment So-won vanished from sight—and the guiding he could sense whenever So-won was nearby was cut off—his body urged him to return to So-won’s side.

“What is it you wish to say?”

“I never thought the day would come when I’d ask you for something…

But your guide seems to cherish you to an extreme degree.”

Cherish him to an extreme degree.

Tae-woo rolled the words around in his mind.

That wasn’t right.

So-won merely pitied him.

He recalled the way So-won sometimes looked at the curse-like veins covering his body with distant, sorrowful eyes.

So-won was simply too kind to leave a monster like him alone.

And Tae-woo was exploiting that kindness to keep So-won by his side.

“I really don’t get it.

What’s so good about a monster like you?

One wrong touch with a finger, and a powerless ordinary person like Guide Lee So-won would pop like a balloon.”

Si-hyeok let out a deep sigh, complaining openly.

Tae-woo understood all too well what he meant.

So-won wouldn’t know.

How easily Tae-woo could destroy that fragile body.

How much effort it took, every single moment, not to hurt him.

How crushing the guilt was whenever he accidentally held So-won too tightly and left blue bruises on that delicate skin.

He didn’t want to hear Si-hyeok dwell on it any longer.

“Get to the point.”

“What, are you anxious because you want to follow him?

Relax.

I’ll let you go soon enough.

I’m worried about my guide too.”

Shrugging, Si-hyeok continued,

“You know my guide is sick, right?”

Tae-woo recalled what he knew about her.

A few years ago, her guiding had suddenly begun to weaken, and that was when she realized she was ill.

Around that time, Tae-woo had coincidentally run into Si-hyeok at a hospital—so shaken that he hadn’t even noticed Tae-woo passing right by him.

Not long after, Si-hyeok had returned to his usual self, mocking Tae-woo as always, so it hadn’t seemed that serious.

But each time Tae-woo saw his guide afterward, her condition visibly worsened.

When Tae-woo nodded, Si-hyeok’s expression slowly began to crumble.

“That’s why I haven’t been able to get guiding lately.”

Pain.

Impatience.

Anxiety.

One by one, the emotions surfaced on his face.

“It’s been… about half a year, I think….”

Those feelings tangled together—

“Esper Kang Tae-woo, how the hell did you endure this?”

—and finally collapsed completely.

Looking at Si-hyeok, Tae-woo thought he resembled the man he’d seen at the hospital that day, wearing the same look of despair.

“My head feels like it’s going to split open, and my body feels like it’s about to explode.

It’s a miracle I’m still sane.

Guiding machines?

Don’t make me laugh.

You want me to use that trash?

I’d rather grab a guide with a 1% matching rate and get guided that way.”

It was the complete opposite of Tae-woo’s situation.

He’d survived day after day relying on guiding machines, only to learn what real guiding was after meeting So-won.

But Si-hyeok—who had always had a guide from the start—must have found it even harder to endure.

He knew too well how sweet guiding through a guide truly was.

“Esper-exclusive drinks… I didn’t even know those existed, and I really didn’t want to learn that alcohol works better.

There are liquor bottles rolling around my house every day, the stench is disgusting.

I feel like some useless human addicted to alcohol.”

That, too, Tae-woo understood.

On ordinary days, he could somehow endure it, but after returning from a gate, it was impossible to stay sober.

Each time, he’d down strong liquor.

Those Esper-exclusive drinks the country had poured a fortune into might work for lower-ranked Espers, but for S-ranks like Si-hyeok—or himself—they were practically useless.

“I met every guide they said had a decent matching rate.

But when we actually met, guiding didn’t work at all.

Every time, the Association’s excuse was that my wavelength isn’t standard, so there’s nothing they can do.

Isn’t that a joke?

If the Association head knew how painful it is not to receive guiding, that kind of bullshit wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

I even asked them to connect me with overseas guides, but they rejected it, saying it was a complicated diplomatic issue.”

Suddenly, Tae-woo remembered that So-won had applied for a designated matching with him.

His attending physician had mentioned it later—when the Association first compared their wavelengths, things had erupted into chaos, and they’d forgotten to check So-won’s matching rate with other Espers.

But by then, So-won had already signed an exclusive contract with Tae-woo, and their matching rate was overwhelmingly high, so the decision was made not to compare further.

If So-won hadn’t applied for designated matching…

He might have become Si-hyeok’s guide before Tae-woo ever even knew of his existence.

The image of So-won smiling happily at Si-hyeok’s side tightened something in Tae-woo’s chest, making it hard to breathe.

Clutching his chest, confused by the unfamiliar throbbing emotion, Tae-woo barely registered what Si-hyeok was saying next.

“…I’m not a monster like you.

I can’t endure it.”

At the way he was addressed, Tae-woo’s gaze snapped back to Si-hyeok.

“Let me receive guiding from Guide Lee So-won.

He said he won’t guide anyone other than you.

But if it’s a request from Esper Kang Tae-woo—the person he treasures so much—then he’ll guide me too.”

“…..”

“You understand too, right?

How painful it is not to receive guiding.

So tell Guide Lee So-won for me.

Please?”

Si-hyeok begged.

Normally, he would never make a request like this.

He’d thrown away all his pride.

And Tae-woo did understand him.

The pain of being unable to receive guiding was more horrific than any torture in the world.

“I refuse.”

But he couldn’t give Si-hyeok the answer he wanted.