Chapter 59: The Weight Of Wanting

If So-won had wanted it, Tae-woo wouldn’t have objected and would have let him have things his way.

But ever since his first meeting with Si-hyeok, So-won had been uncomfortable around him.

Even today, recalling how So-won had anxiously clutched at his own collar when he spotted Si-hyeok approaching from afar, Tae-woo shook his head.

And then—

Tae-woo remembered what Si-hyeok had just said.

So-won had no intention of guiding anyone other than Tae-woo himself.

Judging by the fact that Tae-woo had never heard this before, So-won must have said it when he was alone with Si-hyeok.

If he wanted to hear those words directly—

Was that just his own greed?

Even though he knew he shouldn’t start wanting more than he already had, the thought still crossed his mind.

“Esper Kang Tae-woo, are you serious?

You know how painful it is not to receive guiding?”

“I do.

But Lee So-won is not an option.”

“I’m not asking for much.

Just my hand—just hold my hand.”

“That won’t be possible.

Please do not approach Lee So-won again.”

“…..”

A long silence followed.

The emotions that had surfaced on Si-hyeok’s face began to settle, one by one.

The desperate expression he’d been wearing slowly returned to its usual calm.

“Ah… so you’re not falling for it.”

Si-hyeok smiled faintly.

The expression he’d shown just moments ago had vanished without a trace.

“Then I guess it can’t be helped.

Ah, I’ll be late for the hospital checkup.

Should head over and pick her up.”

With an easy, unhurried gait, Si-hyeok turned and walked away.

On the surface, everything he’d shown could be dismissed as an act.

But Tae-woo had heard it clearly—the anxiously pounding heartbeat, and the tremor that couldn’t be faked.

Si-hyeok knew it too.

That there wasn’t much time left for his Guide.

Even Tae-woo could tell at a glance that her life was slowly fading.

If that was the case, then Si-hyeok—who never left her side for even a moment—must have understood her condition far better.

For the first time, Tae-woo felt pity toward someone else.

The feeling of losing a Guide without being able to do anything—he couldn’t even begin to imagine it.

He understood Si-hyeok.

After all, Tae-woo himself had a Guide more precious than his own life.

After watching Si-hyeok’s retreating back for a moment, Tae-woo moved with him, heading off to find So-won.

Even though he didn’t consciously know So-won’s location, his body seemed to already know, carrying him along on its own.

And at the end of that path—

There was So-won, wrapped in bright sunlight.

The smile that bloomed the instant he spotted Tae-woo was so lovely that Tae-woo etched the sight deep into his heart.

So that it would never fade, even after a lifetime had passed.

Even if, someday, So-won were to leave him.

***

After Si-hyeok left, So-won and Tae-woo returned to the Association together, chatting softly as they walked.

“Tae-woo, what did you talk about with Esper Choi Si-hyeok?

Don’t tell me you’re being sent to a gate in his place again?”

“No.

It wasn’t anything important.”

“Well, that’s a relief, but…”

“Did you have a good conversation as well, Lee So-won?”

“Ah, nothing that important on my end either.

Come to think of it, I didn’t even ask her name…”

Inside the Association, So-won waited with Tae-woo for the elevator to go up to the private rooms.

The first floor, a little past the start of the workday, was bustling with staff and outside visitors.

But the people who noticed Tae-woo from afar all flinched and chose the stairs instead, so So-won and Tae-woo were able to take the elevator comfortably.

“Tae-woo.”

“Yes.”

“Is there… something you wanted to say to me?”

Throughout the ride up to the tenth floor, So-won could feel Tae-woo’s gaze at his side.

He kept sneaking glances, and only when the elevator was about to open did he finally manage to ask.

“No.”

For how insistently Tae-woo had been staring, the answer was curt.

Just then, the elevator doors opened, and So-won headed toward the private room, casting a sidelong look at him.

The empty hallway felt unusually quiet today.

Thunk.

The door closed with a heavy sound.

As soon as they stepped inside, So-won headed toward the sofa that was always his assigned spot.

But a hand lightly caught hold of him.

Puzzled, So-won turned around and found Tae-woo looking down at him, as if he had something to say.

“Um… do you need guiding?”

“…Please.”

Seeing Tae-woo ask first, So-won figured the meeting with Si-hyeok must have stressed him out quite a bit.

Thinking that was understandable, So-won gently wrapped his arms around Tae-woo.

The broad circumference of his body filled So-won’s arms completely.

His large frame was solid, so much so that just holding him felt tight and full.

So-won was clearly the one hugging him, yet because of the difference in their builds, it felt more like he was the one being held instead.

It was like standing in front of a giant mascot suit—
though it wasn’t soft, nor furry, but the warmth of his body felt snug and comforting.

So-won rested his head against Tae-woo’s chest and rubbed his round forehead lightly against it.

Their bodies, pressed together without a gap, were dressed entirely in black.

Only then did So-won realize how similar their outfits looked, as if they’d deliberately coordinated.

Since Tae-woo always wore the same clothes, anyone would assume So-won had dressed to match him.

So-won was glad he didn’t have an appointment with his attending physician today.

If the doctor saw them like this, he’d definitely give them a knowing, lecherous look.

When So-won lifted his head, their eyes met.

Seeing Tae-woo lower his face toward him, So-won instinctively closed his eyes.

And then he startled himself.

He didn’t even know what Tae-woo was about to do, yet he’d closed his eyes as if expecting a kiss.

Before Tae-woo could notice anything strange, So-won hurriedly opened his eyes again.

But at the same moment, a warm sensation brushed against his lips, and Tae-woo’s face filled his vision.

Ah—

So-won froze, mouth falling open in surprise.

As if waiting for that exact moment, Tae-woo’s tongue slipped smoothly into his mouth.

“Mm… ngh…”

The tongue that pushed deep inside traced along his teeth and licked the soft roof of his mouth.

From the very start, the kiss was thick and intense.

When So-won’s legs tangled and he wobbled, unable to keep his balance, Tae-woo pulled him in tighter, one arm wrapping firmly around his waist.

Still unsteady, So-won clutched at Tae-woo’s back, practically hanging onto him.

“Mm… ah, Tae-woo…”

Every time Tae-woo deliberately targeted his sensitive spots, So-won’s body shuddered and soft sounds spilled from his lips.

Tae-woo soothed him as he went, licking slowly and deeply.

It was when So-won thought the kiss was unusually long and sticky—

“Ah—!”

A large hand slid down So-won’s waist.

The ticklish yet provocative touch made heat rush through his body, drawing an instinctive reaction.

The blatant intimacy flustered him.

He hadn’t just returned from a gate, and he’d already done high-intensity guiding yesterday—there was no need to go this far.

Because he knew that, Tae-woo’s actions felt confusing and overwhelming.

He felt his body tilt backward, then something touched his back.

Reaching out, his hand brushed against soft sheets.

Just moments ago, they’d been right by the door.

But when he came to his senses, So-won realized he’d already been moved all the way to the bed.

A large hand traced lazily down his waist, pressing their lower bodies together.

The clearly sexual intent behind the movement made So-won tense, his body going rigid.

At this rate… he really will…

Remembering that his body still hadn’t fully recovered, So-won felt conflicted.

And then, his eyes met the CCTV camera on the ceiling—watching everything.

“W-wait a second, Tae-woo.”

So-won hurriedly pushed him away and covered his mouth with his hand.

Tae-woo slowly straightened from where he’d been bent over him and looked down at So-won.

Unlike So-won, who was thoroughly disheveled, Tae-woo looked perfectly composed, as if nothing had happened.

Stammering, So-won spoke.

“H-here…?

You’re going to do it here?”

“…..”

“There’s a CCTV right there…”

With trembling fingers, So-won pointed toward the corner of the ceiling, where the camera was aimed straight at them.

Following So-won’s finger, Tae-woo lifted his gaze to the ceiling.

Half-lying on the bed, So-won looked up at him.

From this angle, he couldn’t clearly see Tae-woo’s expression, but for some reason, he felt like Tae-woo was glaring at the camera as if he wanted to kill it.

In any case, Tae-woo’s movements stopped.

Relieved to finally catch his breath, So-won tried to wriggle free while Tae-woo was looking away.

Crash!

Suddenly, something shattered.

Startled, So-won snapped his head toward the sound.

The CCTV that had been perfectly fine just moments ago was now completely smashed, hanging pitifully from the ceiling.

As if begging So-won to save it, the broken camera swayed precariously for a moment before dropping to the floor with a dull thud.

“Is this acceptable now?”

Tae-woo asked, looking down at So-won, whose eyes were wide like a startled rabbit’s.

Only then did So-won regain his senses and quickly scanned the room.

The broken camera was the only CCTV in the private room.

No one would come by Tae-woo’s room this early in the day, and thin curtains covered the windows, preventing anyone from seeing inside.

If there was one thing that still bothered him, it was the fact that it was far too bright a morning for something like this.

But So-won knew all too well that such a reason didn’t even qualify as an excuse.

Looking at the lump of metal that had met its demise on the floor, So-won swallowed hard.

There was no longer any justification left to refuse.

His heart pounded rapidly.

His body, trembling with excitement, burned hot—as if it were eagerly anticipating what was about to happen.

To be honest…

He didn’t hate it.

Slowly, So-won lowered the hand that had been covering his mouth.

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