Chapter 15: Permission To Touch

Tae-woo hesitated for a moment over a request he had never received before.

Being touched itself wasn’t a problem—but he worried that the unfamiliar texture might scare So-won, making him fear Tae-woo even more.

For that reason, an answer didn’t come easily.

However, the moment he saw the Guide looking at him—clearly nervous, yet still watching him with wide, earnest eyes—his hesitation melted away like snow.

“You may touch it.”

It was a rather impolite request, but fortunately, Tae-woo didn’t seem offended.

With Tae-woo’s permission, So-won looked closely at the dark red veins running along his arm.

In the past, they had frightened and repulsed him so much that he hadn’t even wanted to brush against them.

Now, though, he felt like he could touch them.

So-won lifted his hand and cautiously reached out, touching Tae-woo’s arm with gentle fingers.

Beneath the rough skin, he felt something soft—the veins were pliant to the touch.

He had expected them to be hard, just like their appearance, but the sensation was surprisingly different.

And stranger still, the texture was more addictive than he’d expected.

Unable to resist, So-won traced his finger along Tae-woo’s arm once more.

It was uneven and soft, yet at the same time firm.

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

It was a question he’d been holding onto for some time.

The veins that bulged so prominently looked like symptoms of a severe illness—painful just to look at.

A side effect of going without proper guiding.

Eight years later, when these veins had wrapped themselves even more tightly around Tae-woo’s body, had they tormented him badly?

“I’m fine now.”

Now.

So-won pretended not to hear the weight carried by that single word.

If he dwelled on it—if he acknowledged that Tae-woo had always been in pain—he feared he would be crushed by even greater guilt.

So-won could no longer bring himself to touch Tae-woo’s arm.

Instead, he placed his hand gently over the back of Tae-woo’s hand and stopped moving.

He continued to grip it faintly, afraid that the heaviness of the guilt he carried might be revealed if he let go.

***

Tae-woo quietly took in the sensation of So-won’s careful touch as it traced along his arm.

Where So-won’s thin fingers passed, warmth flowed in, leaving behind a faint, ticklish sensation before fading away.

Tae-woo found the unfamiliar feeling surprisingly pleasant.

However, after touching his arm a few times, So-won lowered his hand and remained still.

In the quiet stillness, Tae-woo felt no movement from So-won for quite some time.

Gradually, more weight settled onto the hand resting atop his own.

Sensing this, Tae-woo looked over at him.

“Mr. Lee So-won?”

He called So-won’s name softly, but there was no reply.

“Are you asleep?”

He couldn’t see So-won’s face since his head was bowed low, but the even sound of his breathing and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat suggested he had fallen asleep.

Every so often, So-won’s head dipped forward in a small nod.

He must have been exhausted after being busy all day.

So-won dozed with his eyes closed, nodding off repeatedly.

Even as his head swayed from side to side, it frustratingly never came to rest against Tae-woo’s arm.

The soft-looking hair swayed gently with each movement, as if tempting him.

Tae-woo reached out, intending to lay So-won down properly so he wouldn’t have to sleep sitting up—then stopped.

He was afraid he might hurt him, unable to control his strength.

If he caused So-won even the slightest pain, he felt he’d never be able to lift his head again under the weight of that guilt.

He briefly considered waking him, but in the end, Tae-woo chose not to.

Instead, he closed his eyes quietly beside him.

***

Tae-woo fell asleep later than So-won—and woke earlier.

Opening his eyes while still sitting upright, Tae-woo lowered his gaze at the light weight pressing against his waist.

Curled up on his side, So-won was clinging to him, arms wrapped around Tae-woo’s waist.

Where their bodies touched, guiding was happening steadily and naturally.

Perhaps because of that, Tae-woo’s body felt strangely light, as though it might float away.

Watching So-won sleep soundly—so peacefully that he wouldn’t notice even if someone carried him off—Tae-woo felt a sudden urge to lie back down beside him.

Bathed in sunlight, So-won’s skin glowed almost translucently.

His closed eyes fluttered faintly, as if complaining about the brightness around him.

A soft pink hue tinged his cheeks, warmed by sleep.

His slightly parted, plush lips were even redder.

“Mm…”

When Tae-woo gently disentangled himself and rose from the bed, So-won let out a small whimper, as though he’d lost something precious.

He shifted slightly, as if about to wake—but soon settled again, breathing softly as he sank back into deep sleep.

Only after confirming this did Tae-woo carefully drape the blanket over So-won’s exposed body.

He recalled how So-won had looked when he’d entered the room the night before.

After lingering outside the door for a long time, the face that finally appeared when he stepped inside had been deathly pale.

If he was so afraid, he didn’t have to come—but still, trembling all over, So-won had sought him out to guide him.

Tae-woo left the room quietly so as not to wake him.

Once he stepped outside today, he didn’t plan on returning for a while.

So-won needed time.

Even though this had been the designated matching So-won himself had wanted, he still looked confused about becoming Tae-woo’s Guide.

Kind as he was, So-won hadn’t shown it—but perhaps Tae-woo was more monstrous than So-won had imagined, and he might already be regretting becoming his Guide.

For now, So-won needed time alone—to adjust to this house, to his surroundings.

And for that to happen, the monster called Tae-woo couldn’t be here.

Only when Tae-woo was gone would So-won truly be able to rest at ease—or so Tae-woo believed.

There was also a Gate mission scheduled for tomorrow.

It hadn’t been long since his last deployment, but he’d received an urgent call from the Gate Assignment Office the day before.

The interval was unusually short.

Tae-woo could guess why.

Now that he had a Guide, the higher-ups intended to work him even harder.

As he left the house, Tae-woo checked his condition.

Unlike usual, his body didn’t ache—in fact, it felt light.

It was thanks to So-won holding onto him all night.

Perhaps the higher-ups weren’t entirely wrong.

At this rate, he might actually return from the Gate tomorrow without issue.

The sun had already climbed high into the sky.

Sunlight crept toward So-won and finally touched the corner of his eyes.

The rays that slipped through the window tormented him, urging him to wake up already.

So-won’s eyelids twitched several times, reluctant to open, before he slowly forced his eyes open.

Clear brown eyes brimmed with lingering drowsiness.

For the first time in a long while, he’d slept deeply without nightmares.

Though he’d slept for nearly half a day, his body wasn’t stiff—instead, it felt light.

Still half-asleep, So-won rubbed himself against the white bedding, savoring the languid comfort of waking.

Then, belatedly, he realized the sheets smelled like Tae-woo—and were softer and more plush than his own blanket.

The memory of the previous night came rushing back.

So-won jolted upright.

He’d tried to stay awake, but ended up falling asleep anyway.

Looking around hurriedly, he saw no sign of Tae-woo.

When he noticed the neatly made space beside him, he understood that Tae-woo had been gone for quite some time.

The carefully arranged blanket was cold, devoid of warmth.

For reasons he couldn’t explain, So-won felt hollow and collapsed back onto the bed.

He’d fallen asleep in Tae-woo’s private room—no, even in his bedroom—right in the middle of guiding.

After saying he’d guide him properly next time, no less.

If Tae-woo thought of him as a pathetic Guide, So-won had no excuse.

“Tae-woo?”

Stepping out of the bedroom, So-won called his name.

There was no response.

He called again, louder, but still heard nothing.

Peering over the railing, he checked the first floor—but Tae-woo wasn’t there either.

He searched every corner of the house, but couldn’t find even a trace of him.

Only then did So-won check the time—it was already past noon.

“Ah…”

So-won let out a small sigh.

It was only natural that Tae-woo wouldn’t be home at this hour.

Even when Tae-woo returned home after a long absence, he usually left again at dawn the very next day.

Back then, So-won had liked waking up to an empty house.

So why did it feel so disappointing now?

Once So-won stopped moving around, the empty house grew even quieter.

He returned to his room.

Without anyone inside, Tae-woo’s house felt excessively silent.

The soundproofing was so thorough that not even the wind could be heard.

So-won stood alone in the middle of his messy room.

Perhaps because the house had been lively these past few days, the place Tae-woo had lived in alone for eight years now felt unfamiliar.

A sharp loneliness welled up inside him.

He didn’t want to be alone.

Since Tae-woo wasn’t home, maybe he should go out for a bit…

As he considered where to go, So-won suddenly remembered that his car had disappeared when he’d come back to the past.

He let out a sigh.

This area was so remote that even taxis rarely came, and the bus stop was a fifteen-minute walk away.

The bus intervals were so long it was hard to believe this was still Seoul.

He roughly knew the schedule—but he didn’t want to walk fifteen minutes under the glaring heat outside.

In the end, So-won gave up on going out and resumed unpacking the boxes he’d left unfinished the day before.

When Tae-woo returned, he’d apologize for falling asleep during guiding—and this time, he resolved, he would guide him properly.

With that thought, So-won waited for Tae-woo to come back.

But Tae-woo did not return.