Chapter 23: A Hero with Contradictions

At his words, the hair all over my body stood on end, and my heart plummeted.

What?

Did I do something wrong?

Too scared to look up, I kept my head lowered.

I felt like a herbivore placed before a predator.

Spared only because the predator was full, but liable to be devoured whole the moment it felt like it.

I don’t know why I felt that way.

But it was undeniably true that if Han Jun really wanted to, he could do whatever he pleased with me.

Out here in the mountains, with just the two of us, no one would ever know what happened.

This wasn’t the time to be worrying about awkwardness between us.

I should’ve been worrying about whether I’d get eaten alive.

I was foolish.

Reckless!

We never should’ve crossed that line yesterday.

He’s not the type to force things.

But what if he drinks again?

Wouldn’t the same thing happen?

No—once a line is crossed, it’s like a car without brakes.

I had the uneasy feeling he might just speed forward without stopping.

And the proof of that fear was the shameless way he was standing right behind me, kneading my hip while I fiddled with the radio.

Why is he so obsessed with my butt?

It was terrifying.

I looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“Jun… you can’t treat your hyung like this. That’s a bad hand.”

It was a desperate wish.

You can’t just place your hyung in the palm of your hand and toy with him like that.

You’ve gotten stronger, but that doesn’t mean you get to treat the person who’s been running around for you like this.

“Hyung.”

“Y-yeah…?”

“You said you’d give it to me.”

“…Give what?”

“This body.”

He squeezed my hip tightly as he said it.

I sucked in a sharp breath.

“…Did I really say that?”

“Yeah. On the mountain.”

Vaguely, I remembered.

Why did I say something like that?

Is this my original sin?

“Can I take it back?”

“No.”

“Can I substitute it with something else?”

“No.”

“Isn’t there something you need more than my pathetic body?”

“No.”

So firm.

With no room for compromise.

In the end, I stepped back and resigned myself to letting him knead my hip.

If he’s just squeezing, fine.

I can pretend not to notice.

It’s not like I can win by force anyway.

They say giving up brings peace of mind.

Then why do I feel so uneasy?

Like a sick chicken, I fiddled with the radio again.

Most channels were dead.

Only static crackled no matter how I adjusted the frequency.

“Is nothing broadcasting?”

My expression grew serious.

I remembered the military vehicles we’d seen while leaving the city.

It felt like a shift in power might already be underway.

In a crisis like this, the ruling and opposition parties would clash over control.

From the military’s perspective, leading civilians on the ground, it would be hard to trust a government scrambling to protect its own interests.

Add massive monsters appearing and devastating cities, and the army might stop listening altogether.

“Maybe the broadcasters ran away too?”

“Hmm, maybe.”

I turned on my phone, which I’d kept off to save battery.

There were exactly 134 emergency alerts and 30 missed calls.

I opened the most recent alert.

[National State of Emergency Declared —

1. All citizens must remain in their homes.
2. Looting, rioting, trespassing, murder, arson, or any actions causing social unrest may be dealt with without administrative procedure.
3. Food distribution will occur three times a week according to local government guidance.
4. Upon discovering a crisis situation, contact 221 and wait in a safe location.]

The phrase “dealt with without administrative procedure” practically meant martial law.

Densely populated cities would likely enforce even stricter measures.

Supply lines would be cut.

Cities with large populations would run out of food first.

With monsters rampaging everywhere, chaos would erupt as everyone scrambled to survive.

In situations like this, surviving quietly in a remote place might actually be safer.

“Good thing we left.”

Han Jun, resting his chin on my shoulder as he read the screen, furrowed his brow.

“Hyung, are we staying here?”

“No, I was thinking we’d move soon. Why?”

“There are a lot of monsters. Maybe we should check a nearby village. People might be in danger.”

Already showing savior instincts, huh?

He wanted to help people.

Meanwhile, his hand still rested on my hip.

Maybe he’s only improper with me.

A hero to others, but not to me.

Should I be happy about that or not?

“Let’s check a nearby village first.”

“Okay.”

“And maybe take your hand off? My butt’s going to wear out.”

“It won’t wear out that easily.”

“…You really think it’s yours, don’t you?”

“It is.”

He grinned and lightly bit the back of my neck.

The sudden action sent a sharp jolt through me.

Does he really like me?

Or is he just bored and I’m convenient?

What if he’s serious?

My body wasn’t the only tired thing—my mind was exhausted too.

And just like that, with one careless promise, I lost ownership of my own body.

While packing up, I scolded him when I saw him gathering trash.

“Why are you picking that up? There’s no one enforcing fines anymore.”

“There shouldn’t be trash in the valley.”

So I’m the bad guy again.

“Isn’t that strange?”

“What?”

“Stealing’s fine, but littering isn’t?”

He averted his gaze.

“If you want to live righteously, give up my butt too.”

“No.”

“…You answer that quickly.”

He just shrugged innocently.

What a contradictory savior.

After packing up, we got back into the car.

Autumn leaves waved as if seeing us off.

We left the colorful mountain scenery behind and headed toward a nearby village.

The lady at the shop had said everyone left, but maybe someone remained.

Driving down the winding mountain road, I turned toward the village after spotting a sign.

“Do you think anyone’s even there? Maybe they all ran. Shouldn’t we just hunt monsters and train instead?”

Helping people now was good, but wouldn’t getting stronger for bigger threats be better?

“I wonder if that lady is safe.”

“Excuse me? Did you not hear me?”

Typical savior.

Always worrying about others.

I gripped the steering wheel harder.

“I’m out here breaking my back supporting someone, and that someone’s busy worrying about others. Guess I’m second place.”

He glanced at me awkwardly.

“Hyung, I can drive if you want.”

“You? On this road? Want us to roll off a cliff?”

I snorted.

No way I was handing the wheel to a beginner.

“Try the radio again.”

“Okay.”

After persistent tuning, we found a live channel.

A mechanical voice crackled through.

[10:31 AM, 1.8m monster sighted near Hongik University intersection…
10:31 AM, 1.2m monster sighted toward Wangsan-ro from Gyeongdong Market…
10:33 AM, 0.9m monster sighted toward Changneung Bridge from Haengju IC…]

It listed locations and monster sizes almost every minute.

Whether they were being handled was unclear.

“City’s not as bad as I thought.”

“It sounds dangerous.”

Our views couldn’t have been more different.

“Hyung, shouldn’t we go back?”

I gripped the wheel tighter.

One day, I’d definitely set him straight.

Soon, we arrived at the quiet mountain village near Piagol.

Houses were spaced apart, low stone walls surrounding their yards.

A few homes showed signs of life, but everything was silent.

Vegetable patches were ruined—by beasts or monsters, who knew.

Thankfully, there were no bodies.

“Looks empty.”

“Then let’s go.”

We were about to leave when barking erupted from across the street.

Maybe someone was there.

But when we checked, there was no owner—just a dog tied to a chain, barking fiercely at us.

Its food bowl lay overturned and empty in the dirt.

“Woof! Woof! Woof!”

I pressed a hand to my forehead.

“Ah… I can’t handle this.”

Abandoned by its owner.

That was just too heartbreaking.