Chapter 26: Growing Doubts

I have no choice but to admit it.

No—let’s take it even further.

Yeah. How about this?

A life so twisted, it’s downright disgusting.

I tried to hold back. But reality kept tormenting me, and curses slipped out of my mouth.

But if I didn’t accept it, I wouldn’t be able to complete the 100th mission given to me by the Quest Jewel.

So, while hating the reality before me, I still forced myself to accept it.

The problem was, the more I accepted it, the more I felt like I was falling apart.

No matter how much I tried to endure, I kept wanting to turn away, thinking, Isn’t this too cruel?

It was a defense mechanism—a way to avoid breaking completely.

But what good would that do?

Even if it hurts, I have to do it, Yeres.

You know that better than anyone.

It’ll be easier if you just get it over with.

You’ve made up your mind, right?

Then say it.

Don’t hesitate.

Admit that all 131 lives before this were a complete waste of time.

Why?

Because my 132nd life was just that shocking.

The information I gathered over the past two days kept reminding me that my past efforts had been completely wrong.

It forced me to accept that the starting line itself had been a mistake, long before I even began figuring out how to reach my goal.

At the same time, my cheap self-pity mocked me as I clung to my pride and dignity in vain.

Let’s think back.

In the past 131 lives, had I ever given Happy a fatal wound?

I had ruined her surroundings and tried to break her mentally, but it never led to victory.

Every time I tried, this Magical Girl would awaken and kill me with her overwhelming power.

As for physical damage?

It had never been anything worse than a broken arm, or severe bleeding that might have been fatal to a normal person.

If I had actually killed her, I wouldn’t be stuck repeating my life 132 times.

But now?

For the first time, I was sure it was possible.

I had no idea why I had done the things I did in the past, but looking at my actions now…

I had acted arrogantly.

I had played the obedient dog.

I had even let her strip me, let her kiss me, let her whisper love into my ears.

And now?

In my arms, Happy lay completely defenseless.

If I had a magic-infused gem in one hand and an endless flood of water in the other, I would have had at least a hundred chances to kill her.

So, then—if I restart my 133rd life, and I find myself in this exact same situation, but this time I have my gem and my water…?

The world will end.

This is why all 131 past lives were a complete waste.

And now comes the next part—self-loathing time.

“…Huh?”

I expected anger or at least a crushing headache.

But instead, I felt light, as if I had thrown off a heavy burden.

I felt… strange.

More than sadness, I felt relief.

After all, Yeres, you’ve finally found a way to complete the 100th mission, haven’t you?

Shouldn’t you be smiling instead of sulking?

That’s true.

The joy of escaping this cursed cycle began slowly erasing my past regrets.

That’s why I treasured the new knowledge I gained in my 132nd life.

Let’s summarize.

What was the most important discovery?

By far, it was how Happy’s mind was split into two.

When she was Happy, she amplified her emotions.

When she was Hyun-seo, she suppressed them completely, facing me with an emptiness that was unsettling.

The key was her mother.

Whenever she heard her mother nagging, Happy switched to Hyun-seo.

And then, there was the Magical Girl supporting her.

Her name was Joy.

She was a fellow Korean Magical Girl who financially backed Happy, to the point where spending 3.5 million won in a single day meant nothing.

And finally—

“Yeres, are you listening to me?”

Ah.

I had been so lost in thought that I had completely ignored Happy.

I shook my head, then turned to look at her.

“Sorry, Happy. I got a little dizzy and lost focus.”

“You’re not sick, right?”

“No, I’m fine. I think I’m just sleepy, even though I slept a lot.”

A blatant lie.

Didn’t I just spend all this time thinking about how to cut useless chatter?

And now, I was the one stalling?

There was only one reason I said it.

It fit perfectly with what I needed to do next.

“Really? Aww, that’s too bad. I wanted to talk more with you…”

“I’m not that tired. Besides, I’m more worried about you, Happy.”

“Huh? Why?”

“You haven’t slept at all since yesterday, have you?”

“I mean, yeah, but I can handle it.”

“Instead of forcing yourself, why don’t we lie down together and talk until we fall asleep?”

Happy might have napped in class today.

But even if she had, sharing a bed would perfectly make up for my earlier slip-up.

And besides—she definitely wouldn’t hate it.

If anything, she’d be too happy, which… might actually be a problem.

“Sounds great! Oh wow, it’s already 10 PM. Good kids should be in dreamland by now!”

Nodding happily, Happy pulled away from my arms and headed up the stairs.

I slowly got up and followed her.

But as I did, I started thinking about something else—something I still didn’t know enough about.

As we climbed the stairs, I quietly took out my resident ID from the phone case Happy gave me.

The numbers on it meant nothing to me, since I wasn’t Korean.

But I could read enough of the Korean text to figure it out.

It was an address.

And once again—it was in Gangwon Province.

The exact same place I saw earlier.

The location of the Magical Girl Management Bureau.

As I flipped the ID, a holographic anti-forgery mark glowed faintly under the light.

It wasn’t a forgery—it was an official resident ID.

That raised two questions.

Why was the address registered to the Magical Girl Headquarters, and why didn’t Happy tell me where she got it from?

A voice in my head told me I had to find out.

Not the whisper of the Quest Jewel, but my own instincts screaming at me.

“Lie down, Yeres. I’m just going to return my phone to the living room.”

I nodded and did as she said.

In the meantime, Happy was getting ready to leave the room.

The moment she deactivated her Magical Girl transformation, her pink hair and frilled costume vanished instantly.

She placed her magic wand on the shelf beside the door, then quickly walked to the living room.

When she came back, she reached for the door—

But she never got the chance to close it.

“Hyun-seo! Come out and talk to me!”

Her mother’s voice rang out from the living room.

Bad news—for both me and Happy.

She turned back toward me.

“See you tomorrow, Yeres.”

Just like that, Happy would disappear, and Hyun-seo would take her place.

And then, I’d have to change my approach—because Hyun-seo wasn’t like Happy.

The problem was, I had only spoken to Hyun-seo for about ten minutes in total.

I knew she was completely different from Happy, but I didn’t know exactly how.

But what could I do?

Her mother was someone even Happy couldn’t handle.

I had no way to stop her from leaving and even less ability to face her mother myself.

“Did you finish everything today?”

“I did my homework and cleaned my room. I ate all my dinner too.”

“And?”

“I also finished my academy assignments and returned my phone to the living room.”

“Work harder.”

“Yes, I understand.”

It was the same conversation I had heard this morning, as if it had been pre-recorded.

When she finally returned, she sighed deeply, closing the door behind her.

Her entire posture screamed hesitation—so much so that I almost felt sorry for her.

Or maybe it was just because the Quest Jewel’s punishment still affected her even as Hyun-seo.

“Yeres… unnie.”

The moment she saw me sitting on the bed, the darkness in her expression lightened—just a little.

Not much, but better than before.

Click.

Even though she had just returned her phone, she was still holding it.

She lifted it and snapped a photo as if amazed to see me sitting in her room.

For some reason, I raised my hand in a V-sign.

I shouldn’t have done that.

“Uh… unnie?”

Hyun-seo flinched so hard she almost dropped her phone.

Happy would never have reacted this way.

I smiled without even thinking.

“Hyun-seo.”

Just calling her name turned her face red.

A strange excitement burned in her expression.

“Don’t you… feel lonely?”

The moment I said it, I regretted it.

The urge to play with her, to test her reaction, to see where this could lead—

It was getting worse.

Was this still the Quest Jewel’s punishment? Or was it me?

I should be focusing on uncovering the truth behind her ID card.

But that urgency faded, and instead, I felt something else—

A strong desire to hold her.

So I opened my arms wide.

“I feel lonely too. So… will you hold me?”

At first, she hesitated.

But as I kept my arms open, she took one step forward—then another.

And finally, she fell into my arms.

The moment I held her, I wanted to show her how much I loved her.

So I kissed her.

“Wa—Wait, unnie!”

Hyun-seo jerked back in shock.

And that’s when I remembered—

I had never kissed Hyun-seo before.

“Ah, um…! I-It’s not that I don’t like it! I just…! I-It’s my first time…!”

“Hyun-seo.”

I placed my finger against her lips.

The same way Happy had done to me when she said her ID’s origin was a secret.

“You need to be quiet.”

Her expression twisted—then relaxed.

“If you’re too loud, your mother might come.”

“Ah…!”

Her body tensed.

Then, as if realizing something, she quickly relaxed again.

“Actually… I have a bit of a split personality.”

I already knew that.

But I noticed something else—

Happy says ‘I’, while Hyun-seo says ‘I… um, I mean, me…’

“But it’s not like I disappear when I transform.”

“Our consciousness is still shared.”

“But…”

As she continued explaining, my mind drifted.

I already knew all this.

Instead, I focused on what she had said before.

“I just… it’s my first kiss…”

“Did you not like it?”

“No! I loved it! It’s just that…”

So she does want to kiss me.

She’s just too embarrassed to say it outright.

“It’s okay.”

This much…

I can do it as many times as you want.

Even if I escape tomorrow.

“You’ll get used to it.”

For Hyun-seo, who was softer than Happy, I pulled the blanket over our heads.

The air trapped inside grew warmer with our mingling breaths.

She squeezed her eyes shut as I slowly—carefully—

Pressed my lips against hers again.

The feeling was strange.

I looked forward to tomorrow—

Yet at the same time, I felt like it didn’t need to come at all.

I wanted to forget something.

I wasn’t sure what.

But the desire inside me already knew the answer.

So I moved with it.

Kissing Hyun-seo was different from kissing Happy.

There was a faint bitterness mixed in.

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t sweet.