Chapter 30: A Small Step Forward

“Tae-woo, would you like to rest at the Center for a bit before going?

It’s late, so I think it’d be fine to guide you and stay the night.”

It was something So-won said sincerely, but Tae-woo shook his head.

“No.

I’ll take you home so you can rest comfortably.”

“But—”

“I’m fine.

I’ll get going now.”

Tae-woo answered calmly and started the car.

Watching him anxiously, So-won hurriedly spoke up.

“W-wait, I’ll drive!”

Tae-woo paused.

So-won let out a small sigh of relief when the car didn’t move.

“Do you… know how to drive?”

At his reaction, as if he truly hadn’t known, So-won felt an inexplicable bitterness.

Moments like this made it painfully real that Tae-woo had died once, and that he himself had returned to the past.

Even after checking So-won’s license, Tae-woo hesitated for a long while without getting out of the driver’s seat.

Only when So-won got out first, opened the driver’s door, and urged him on did Tae-woo finally rise, looking reluctant.

“Ugh—”

The moment his feet touched the ground, Tae-woo staggered heavily.

Startled, So-won rushed to support him.

“Tae-woo, are you okay?”

“I’m sorry.

I’m fine now.”

Perhaps it was just a momentary lapse of strength—Tae-woo quickly regained his balance.

Seeing how hard it was for So-won to support his large frame, Tae-woo tried to refuse the help, but So-won didn’t release the arm holding him and guided him all the way to the passenger seat.

Returning to the driver’s seat, So-won suddenly felt a gaze on him.

When he turned his head, he met Tae-woo’s eyes.

He really doesn’t look well.

After seeing him stagger like that, all So-won could think about was getting home as soon as possible and guiding him.

But before that, there was one thing he needed to confirm.

“Tae-woo, you’re still being guided right now, right?”

“Yes.”

He hadn’t expected that guiding without contact would be this helpful.

The fact that their matching rate had increased felt reassuring all over again.

The car sped along the dark road.

Past midnight, the highway heading into Seoul was quiet.

While driving, So-won kept sneaking glances at Tae-woo, who stared straight ahead with a blank expression, checking his condition.

He should be receiving guidance, but his anxiety made it hard to focus on driving.

They arrived home earlier than expected.

Whether it was because of the guidance during the drive or because he’d rested briefly, Tae-woo didn’t stagger when he got out of the car this time.

“Would you like to wash up first?

I’ll guide you afterward.”

So-won wanted to guide him right away, but seeing monster blood still clinging to Tae-woo’s body, he said so instead.

Tae-woo nodded and went into his room.

Only after confirming that he made it inside safely did So-won head to the bathroom down the hall.

Seeing the wide bathtub made him want to soak for a while, but he shook his head and poured hot water over himself instead.

He didn’t have the luxury of wasting time on things like that.

Tonight, I’ll try a different kind of guiding.

It was a decision So-won had made while waiting for Tae-woo at the Center.

As the attending physician had said, Tae-woo—whose condition worsened after returning from Gates—needed stronger guidance.

But neither Tae-woo nor So-won was ready for something that intense just yet.

Still… skin contact, at least—wouldn’t that be okay?

Compared to the pamphlet contents that haunted him daily, pressing bare skin together no longer felt like such a big deal.

“Tae-woo, I’m coming in.”

After finishing his shower quickly, So-won returned to Tae-woo’s room.

Tae-woo didn’t seem to be out yet.

So-won lay down on the bed first and waited, listening quietly to the sounds beyond the bathroom door.

It’s just guiding, yet knowing it would be slightly different from before already made him tense.

While So-won worked to steady his breathing, Tae-woo came out of the bathroom.

The monster blood that had clung to him was gone.

But if anything, his wavelength seemed just as rough as before—washing hadn’t improved that.

So-won sat up.

He tried to get off the bed but stopped halfway, ending up in an awkward posture, too tense to even notice.

“Tae-woo… I heard this during Guide training.”

Ahem.

So-won cleared his throat.

For some reason, his throat felt dry.

He wanted at least a sip of lukewarm water, but there was nothing to drink nearby.

He swallowed and continued.

“They said that when you guide while holding someone, skin-to-skin contact is more effective.

Doing it over clothes lowers efficiency, so if possible, they recommend taking them off…

Since you went to a Gate today, I was thinking maybe we could try guiding like that.

So, um…”

The more he rambled, the more it sounded like he was making excuses, and his voice grew smaller.

“If you’re okay with it… would you like to guide without our clothes on?”

He hadn’t lied at all, yet once the words left his mouth, he couldn’t understand why they sounded so suspicious.

So-won gave an awkward smile.

After a brief silence, Tae-woo spoke.

“You mean… taking off our clothes?”

“O-of course not completely!”

So-won hurried to clarify.

He worried it might’ve sounded strange, but fortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case.

“……”

Tae-woo recalled his own body as he’d seen it while washing.

The veins weren’t bulging—considering how much power he’d used inside the Gate, his condition was relatively decent.

The reason was obvious.

It was thanks to the guidance he’d received from So-won.

Because So-won had guided him right up until entering the Gate, he was still this stable.

Even the veins that had darkened would return to normal with time.

If he followed So-won’s suggestion and guided through direct contact, it would surely calm down even faster.

“I’m sorry.”

But he couldn’t accept the suggestion.

“Huh?

W-why not?”

“I’m not in a condition that requires that level of guidance.

There’s no need for you to push yourself.”

Tae-woo glanced at the back of his hand—darkened veins—and quietly hid it behind him.

He knew well enough that what looked acceptable by his own standards wasn’t something So-won should have to see.

This had happened before.

The first Gate he’d gone to after meeting So-won.

Back then, his condition had been far worse, and So-won had looked genuinely shocked upon seeing him.

Pressing skin against such a grotesque body must have been a terrible experience.

He had already put So-won through that once—he couldn’t force another bad memory onto him.

At this rate, So-won will become unhappy.

Just like Si-hyeok had said.

“But… the attending doctor said last time that your guiding was insufficient.”

“The doctor exaggerated.

You don’t need to worry about it.”

“But—”

So-won trailed off.

Tae-woo said he was fine, but it was hard to believe him.

“Tae-woo… are you doing this because you’re worried I might be scared?”

So-won recalled Si-hyeok’s wavelength from earlier.

After feeling that calm, gentle, fragrance-like wavelength even once, even someone like So-won—who didn’t fully understand guiding—could tell how severe Tae-woo’s condition really was.

And after returning from the Gate, Tae-woo’s wavelength had grown even sharper than usual.

“……”

The delayed response was answer enough.

Eight years ago, there had been many times Tae-woo refused guidance because So-won trembled in fear at the sight of him.

Now, So-won finally understood—it had been consideration on Tae-woo’s part.

“Lee So-won, I really am fine.”

The problem was that even after returning to the past, So-won had shown those same reactions in front of Tae-woo.

He no longer trembled or acted afraid, but Tae-woo must still believe that So-won was scared of him.

“Um…”

So-won rolled his eyes, thinking.

First, he needed to make it clear that he wasn’t afraid anymore.

“Tae-woo, I… I was a little scared at first, but now I’m not afraid of you.”

The memory of freezing up during the guiding test—staring at him while trembling—surfaced, filling him with guilt.

If he hadn’t been scared from the start, maybe Tae-woo wouldn’t act like this now.

But back then, his fear hadn’t fully faded yet—there was nothing he could do.

“And when I saw your body in the private room last time, I was fine too.

The monster blood was a bit shocking, though.”

Even when he’d faced Tae-woo in terrible condition back then, the fear had only lasted for the first moment of checking his state.

By the next morning, even seeing Tae-woo unclothed hadn’t bothered him—only the realization that the liquid on his body was monster blood had been startling.

Remembering that sight, and the memory of wearing Tae-woo’s oversized clothes, So-won let out a small laugh.

“Ah—sorry.

I just remembered that morning…”

He hurriedly apologized when a laugh slipped out mid-sentence.

Tae-woo’s expression was still unreadable, but he seemed deep in thought.

“Anyway, I just wanted you to know I’m not pushing myself.”

“…Understood.

Then… would taking off just my top be sufficient?”