Chapter 33: This Is How I Live

In Lavarus, something like this might be common. It is a coast where dozens of small islands cluster, so you must have seen this jade color countless times. They would have made it themselves and sold it as dye, so this bottle might also have been made with dye you produced.

Jade green, purple, and white jade were colors praised next after gold. And this was as good as all of them condensed into one. Even if the bottle had been made with dye produced by a woman from Lavarus, it was an object of great value.

“Too bad. So that is the painter’s answer.”

“But something this precious does not come easily…”

“Next time, bring something more precious. Who knows, Amblin might like it.”

Jerond lightly pulled Luti’s hand. Luti moved where he led her, face expressionless. Leaving behind the women whose mouths hung open in shock, they walked toward the shop door.

All the way out, she felt stares on her back, but Jerond escorted her as if nothing were wrong. When they stepped outside, the gatekeepers hurried to open the carriage door.

The shop owner stared blankly at Amblin’s retreating back, her face pale.

It was a precious item no finger had ever touched. It had crossed the sea for over two months on a transport ship carrying eight thousand biller. She had hidden it away and shown it to no one, and now, because of a painter from a neighboring country, it had met a hollow and absurd end.

‘This can’t be… Just that kind of woman…’

All the noblewomen and rich farmers’ sons in the shop turned and glared at the owner. The owner clutched her wounded heart and fell backward.

Starting with the Artemir shop, Jerond took Luti into one store after another. Greeted by owners and gatekeepers, Luti looked over rare items, but nothing made her light up with pleasure.

She had no interest in belts studded with gold and jewels, or in handkerchiefs and fans that were necessities for women. Even at a hand-pulled carriage that cost as much as two horses, she did not so much as glance. At most she thought, ‘Oh, so things like this exist.’ Not one item caught her eye.

At Luti’s reaction, the guild merchants fell one by one. The rare goods they had spent thousands of biller to obtain were their wealth and pride.

They had hoped to find them new owners and charge a high price, but the first woman from Lavarus, and one Jerond had brought along so pleasantly, had said she disliked them all. This was clear failure, defeat, and disaster.

Leaving behind the merchants who had collapsed because of her, Luti came out of each shop empty-handed. The last place had a parrot figurine studded with dazzling jewels. It was as she left that shop behind that Jerond spoke.

“Is there really nothing you need?”

At Jerond’s question, Luti nodded, her face gloomier than before.

“They were pretty good items. Why did you dislike every single one?”

It was not that she disliked them. She simply did not need them much. To Luti, material desire meant only what was needed to eat, wear, sleep, and read.

Yet the man kept taking her around shops and telling her to name what she liked, so she began to wonder whether this was to introduce her to people or just to indulge in luxury.

“If there is something you want, say so.”

There was nothing she wanted to have. What she wanted was a forest that would come back to life and a small cabin. A wide yard where she could hang dried meat, and clean well water.

Still, the man was looking at her with stubborn eyes, as if he absolutely had to buy her something, and Luti was at a loss.

“Or are you really satisfied with something as petty as candy?”

Candy was good. She liked raspberry-flavored candy that burst in her mouth more than those useless precious things. But if she told Jerond candy, he would clearly buy her a whole candy shop.

After worrying, Luti shaped her mouth to speak. Rather than keep looking at things she did not need, it seemed better to do as Bardel had said.

“A feathered ha… hat, and… a jewelry box for ri… rings is ne… necessary.”

For a moment Jerond showed no reaction. He looked down at Luti with expressionless eyes, enough to make her think she had said something wrong, then after a long while let out an empty laugh.

“Bardel, huh.”

“…!”

“Bardel taught you to say that, didn’t he?”

She almost opened her eyes wide in surprise. ‘How does he know?’ As she stared at him, Jerond raised his attractive eyes.

“Better to choose a cheap hat than to buy difficult, obscure things. Rather than pick something expensive for no reason and have people say your eye is good or bad, it is safer to go with a modest image.”

Feathered hats and jewelry boxes could be bought even by those who were not rich nobles. They were common enough that, unless one made a special order, they could be bought at any time.

But once one picked up a proper one, it was also a costly luxury that could swallow a whole year’s castle maintenance costs.

“All right, let’s go to that alley.”

Without another word, Jerond headed to the place selling hats and jewelry boxes. The carriage arrived after only a few minutes. It was a clean street like before, but set slightly back, and the gatekeepers there looked less luxurious and less flashy.

Leaving behind the shop owners who ran out in surprise, Jerond spoke against a backdrop of dozens of hats.

“Choose whichever you want. You may choose every hat in here if you like.”

Well-trained clerks brought out hats and displayed them before Luti. From ones with splendid peacock feathers to hats made of light, flowing fabric, they looked expensive at a glance.

“…”

She was troubled. ‘Which one should I choose?’ She had lived patching a hole-ridden blouse with Ru’s powder and barely mending it, so she had no idea. Ru had told her about fabric while dyeing cloth, but she had only ever heard about it.

With a troubled expression, Luti tried to recall what Bardel had muttered while dressing her. She had not understood it clearly, but she remembered something about velvet. She remembered something about a purple dress, and picked up a deep purple hat.

“Do you like this one?”

Luti held the hat and nodded. Jerond called the shop owner.

“I will take this hat.”

“Thank you, my lord.”

“Send every hat in this shop to the castle. I will buy them all.”

Luti, still holding the purple hat, jerked her head up in surprise. Send every hat in here to the castle? It was not just this one?

“Tell the guild merchants. I will buy everything we stopped to look at. Send every item that woman touched or looked at, from beginning to end, to the castle. Tell them not to leave out even a single glove.”

He intended to buy everything Luti’s hands and eyes had touched. When he thought of that small hand and those eyes reaching them, he did not want to hand them to anyone else.

Her indifferent face as she looked at rare things was amusing enough, and when she chose only a cheap feathered hat, even her narrow, tiny thoughts looked cute.

Luti, not understanding the situation, stared blankly, and Jerond placed the purple hat on her head himself and said,

“Listen well. When it is hard to choose, buy everything.”

“…”

“You can pile them up until the room is full, and if you cannot keep them all in the castle, you can give them to the servants. If it catches your eye, you just buy it. Pick it up and say you will buy it, and anything will be yours.”

The man’s black eyes came close. As if telling her to remember this for certain, those black eyes faced Luti clearly and spoke.

“This is how I live in the world.”

“…”

“And you will have to live this way from now on.”

The man’s lips curved up pleasantly. For a moment Luti’s face went blank. No thoughts came, only the sound of her heartbeat.

She could only think that his smile, aimed at her, was so handsome, and faintly guess that maybe this throbbing in her chest was excitement.

Looking at Jerond’s face, Luti thought of someone else. It was a small demon who had smiled at her long ago. A demon who smiled showing sharp fangs, a demon who moved a purple tongue to eat candy, a demon who set fire to his black tail and threatened people while acting smug. Sorotel.

Why did that little demon, who must already be dead, come to mind? Why did thinking of the demon who had driven a horn into her chest and saved her make her sad?

Luti placed her hand over the trace Sorotel had left. When she put her hand over the spot that now held only a faint mark, she felt her heart pounding. This was proof she was alive.

It was also the reason she had to live harder from now on, enough for Sorotel’s share too. But why did Sorotel and Jerond overlap in her eyes now? The place where his horn had been lodged ached and tingled like pain, and she could not say anything.

Luti walked slowly to the mirror. She looked at herself wearing the splendid hat and found the reason.

That was because the world Jerond was showing her looked very much like the forest Sorotel had shown her.

After returning from the outing, she went into her room and did not move at all. She crawled into bed without even taking off her dress properly and made not a single sound.

They called a physician just in case, but he diagnosed that she had no fever, and she turned away from her favorite soup and fruit without taking a single bite.

Bardel looked at the untouched plate and sighed. He could not understand what could have happened outside the castle to make her like this. She had gone out with Jerond, so she could not have met rough people or heard strange things.

Of course, she must have gotten some envious looks from women over fancy fans, but that still should not leave her unable to move. At least the woman named Amblin, as far as Bardel understood her, was upright and steadfast. Her firm eyes were like that, and so were her tightly set lips.

Just from seeing that she never cried even after falling out of bed several times, he knew the cheap envy and jealousy of women were no match for her. Even so, seeing her like that made his stomach churn.

“What are you trying to do, not eating all day?”

As Bardel complained, a maid his age came over and spoke.

“What’s going on?”

“Lady Amblin is refusing to eat.”

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