Chapter 36: Another Sleepless Night

“Tae-woo didn’t do that for no reason.

Esper Choi Si-hyeok tried to force me to guide him.

That’s why…”

“Guiding?

Why would Choi Si-hyeok get guiding from you?”

“Ah.”

He hadn’t wanted to say anything, afraid things would get complicated.

But while trying to clear Tae-woo’s name, he’d let it slip by mistake.

Just as So-won expected, an excited voice followed right away.

“You mean your matching rate with Choi Si-hyeok is good too?

Oh my, what a surprise!

What’s the rate?

Did you get tested?”

“No, I didn’t get tested…”

“Why not!

Go get tested right away!

If the matching rate’s good, you could ask to be reassigned as Choi Si-hyeok’s exclusive guide.”

What?

So-won frowned, utterly dumbfounded.

“He already has an exclusive guide.

Why would I do something like that?”

“I heard that overseas, some Espers have multiple guides.

So what if he does?

So-won, you shouldn’t suffer next to a monster like that.

Switch to being Choi Si-hyeok’s guide.

From what I can tell, he seems to have a good personality and looks like a decent guy.”

Hearing Tae-woo called a monster for the first time in a while made So-won’s mood sink.

Worse still, this time he himself had contributed to Tae-woo’s worsening reputation.

Still, knowing the words came from concern, he couldn’t bring himself to get angry every time she told him to change his exclusive Esper.

“Enough.

Then who do you expect Tae-woo to get guiding from?

Really, you don’t need to worry.

Oh, and Esper Choi Si-hyeok actually has a pretty awful personality.”

“Really?

He didn’t seem like that…”

Leaving his mother, who sounded quietly disappointed, behind, So-won went into his room.

But the empty space held nothing at all.

When he’d moved into Tae-woo’s house, he’d resolved not to run away again and had sent every last one of his belongings there.

By the time he saw his father’s face after he returned in the evening and then headed back to Tae-woo’s house, it was already quite late.

Even when So-won arrived, the house was empty.

It seemed Tae-woo would be late again today.

Perhaps because of what had happened at the Association, Tae-woo had only managed to return just before midnight yesterday.

Without time for proper guiding, he’d slept briefly and then gone straight back to the Association early in the morning.

So-won hadn’t asked directly, but he seemed extremely busy.

It might have just been So-won’s imagination, but it felt as though the distance between him and Tae-woo had grown a little.

Whether it was because of what happened with Si-hyeok, the guiding they’d done, or what had occurred in Tae-woo’s private room, he couldn’t tell.

Maybe it was all of it.

Worried they might never return to how things used to be, So-won closed his eyes beside Tae-woo, who had come home late yet again.

***

Waking in the middle of the night, Tae-woo looked down at So-won, who kept burrowing into his arms in search of warmth.

So-won, who had tossed and turned for a long time tonight, was finally asleep, breathing softly as he slept in peace.

Tae-woo quietly touched So-won’s hair—something he’d wanted to do at least once.

The fine strands brushed softly between his fingers.

It lasted barely a second, but Tae-woo was satisfied with just that and lowered his hand.

He was about to close his eyes and try to sleep as well.

But before he could, his gaze caught on slightly parted lips.

So-won’s lips looked warm and soft.

Soft enough that, even knowing everything was all right now, Tae-woo had once been unable to let him go.

Yet Tae-woo knew all too well that what he’d clung to—guiding or not—would have been no different from a nightmare for So-won.

Even so, Tae-woo continued to want him.

He wanted to stay with So-won, wanted So-won to never leave his side.

Tae-woo knew the name of this feeling.

A filthy sense of possessiveness—one he should never harbor toward So-won, who had stayed by his side.

Careful not to wake him, Tae-woo got out of bed and left the room.

It seemed sleep was out of the question again tonight.

He needed to empty his head, to stop thinking altogether.

Alcohol worked well for that—but with So-won in the house, he decided to drink an Esper-only beverage instead.

He took out several items he’d hidden deep inside the closet and set them on the table before sitting down on the sofa.

He immediately picked one up and swallowed it down.

Esper-only drinks weren’t more effective than alcohol, but they did help calm the mind.

But when the image of Si-hyeok receiving guiding from So-won flashed through his head, the plastic bottle in his hand let out a strange sound as it twisted grotesquely.

Crack—

“…..”

The contents spilled out, soaking Tae-woo’s hand.

He stared silently at the object, crumpled like a scrap of paper, before lifting another bottle.

***

“Ugh…”

At that same moment, So-won, sleeping soundly in Tae-woo’s room, woke from a nightmare.

It wasn’t his usual kind—it was a dream featuring Choi Si-hyeok.

His mood plummeted the instant he woke up.

Of all things, that kind of dream.

This wouldn’t do.

If he didn’t erase that scene with Tae-woo’s wavelength, he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep tonight.

Fidgeting, So-won turned toward Tae-woo.

“…Tae-woo?”

No one was there.

He groped around the side of the bed, but it was empty.

Don’t tell me I’ve gone back eight years again…

His heart dropped, and he hurriedly checked the room.

A large bed, a guiding machine, and nothing else—Tae-woo’s room was empty as ever.

Relief washed over him, and his shoulders slumped.

This was still the past from eight years ago.

He finally calmed his anxiously pounding heart.

Checking the time, it was 2 a.m.—an awkward hour to be fully awake.

He looked outside, wondering if Tae-woo had gone out, but the car was still parked in the yard.

Maybe he’d just gone to get some water?

Even so, Tae-woo didn’t return to the room for a long time.

After waiting for quite a while, So-won eventually left the room.

Clatter—

A sound came from the darkness.

Something was moving on the first floor, but with the lights off, he couldn’t see clearly.

“Tae-woo?”

Feeling along the wall, So-won turned on a dim light.

Only then did he see Tae-woo sitting in the first-floor living room.

Their eyes met.

The coffee table was cluttered with various items, and Tae-woo was holding one of them.

Coming down to the first floor, So-won asked,

“What are you doing down here?”

“I couldn’t sleep, so I stepped out for a bit.

Please go back to sleep first.

I’ll come in later.”

Despite Tae-woo’s words, So-won felt like he’d have nightmares if Tae-woo wasn’t beside him.

Besides, after that unpleasant dream, sleep wasn’t coming anyway.

So-won asked,

“Can I sit next to you?”

“…Yes.”

Tae-woo shifted aside.

When So-won perched where he’d been sitting, he felt the sofa, heavy from use.

Warmth lingered there as well.

It seemed Tae-woo had been spending quite a long time alone in the dark.

That was when So-won noticed the many bottles spread across the table.

On the floor beside it lay an empty plastic bottle, crushed horribly into the unmistakable shape of Tae-woo’s grip—but he chose to ignore that naturally.

Pointing at the items on the table, So-won asked curiously,

“What are these?”

“Esper-only drinks.”

“Wow…

They make stuff like this too…”

Fascinated, So-won looked at the one in Tae-woo’s hand.

He hadn’t known there were beverages exclusively for Espers.

And with this many, Tae-woo must have been storing them somewhere in the house—yet So-won had never once seen them while living there.

Unable to resist his curiosity, he picked one up and examined it from every angle.

A pale green liquid filled the transparent plastic bottle.

The ingredient list was packed with unfamiliar terms he couldn’t understand.

If it weren’t for the English words Esper-only drink written on it, it would have looked like an ordinary beverage.

“If it’s for Espers, does it have some kind of special effect?”

“…It suppresses wavelengths and relaxes the muscles.

I believe it also contains pain-relief components.”

Tae-woo hesitated before answering.

Hearing the explanation, So-won understood why he’d paused.

Despite being called an Esper-only drink, it seemed to function like a stopgap—much like a guiding machine—for Espers without guides.

So-won fell silent, gazing at the item in his hand, then asked quietly,

“Are you not feeling well…?

If you needed guiding, you could’ve just told me…”

So-won looked at Tae-woo, his face full of concern.

Lately, things between them had been awkward, and on top of that, he hadn’t been able to guide him properly.

Whenever Tae-woo came home, it was late at night, so even if he tried to guide him, it barely amounted to an hour.

Maybe the guiding really hasn’t been enough…

Guilt washed over him.

As So-won spoke with that weight in his voice, Tae-woo denied it quickly.

“No.

I was just drinking because I couldn’t sleep.”

He didn’t look like he was lying, but that didn’t make So-won feel any better.

Without a word, So-won set the drink he was holding back down.

The conversation—which had gone on unusually long—came to an end.

An awkward atmosphere settled between them.

Even so, So-won didn’t leave.

He stayed seated, lips closed, quietly holding his place.

In the meantime, Tae-woo tilted the plastic bottle.

As he swallowed the liquid, his Adam’s apple moved noticeably.

So-won stared at the sight, and perhaps thinking he wanted some, Tae-woo offered,

“Would you like to try some?”

A little curious, So-won nodded.