Chapter 37 : Minota -kun!

Rumble-.

That day, humanity realized.

“Woo! Do you think you can treat a male like me like this?!”

That they had to bow down to that something, which was nothing more than a lump of fat.

Rumble-.

“Bring that woman back quickly!”

That this world is overflowing with demand, even for a man like that.

“Mr. Minotaur! Please calm down!”

“Are you mocking me, woman?! I am a male. I’m offering to employ her as my bodyguard, and she dares refuse?!”

Yena’s desperate words come to mind.

Am I truly the only salvation?

Looking at him again, Mr. Minotaur… for convenience’s sake, let’s call him The Lump.

That Lump of fat appears to be larger and have a higher body fat percentage than the boss from that zombie game we played last time.

Even now, in this age where advanced science has progressed to the point where it can’t advance any further, isn’t he riding on that chair-like contraption because it’s difficult for him to move?

“I think I saw that in WALL-E.”

[ E~VA~ ]

“Like with Terminator last time, how do you know movies that shouldn’t exist? We need to talk later.”

[ WAL~L~E~ ]

“Sigh… Let’s see how long you can keep it hidden.”

I believe you’ll tell me someday.

We have a lot of time together ahead of us.

Anyway, the topic at hand is that Lump of fat over there.

Even the male clerk is flustered and can’t handle him. Would even a slight touch be considered sexual assault here?

“Me. Want. That woman!”

Mr. Minotaur, now beginning to lack language skills.

[ It can’t be helped. As a man, he would’ve been able to do whatever he wanted growing up, even without education. ]

“But he’s not getting what he wants now.”

[ Bodyguards are merely an employer-employee relationship, not slaves. Naturally, the woman can refuse. Very, very, very, very rarely, though. ]

“Where does Mr. Minotaur rank among men?”

Honestly, I’m curious.

Just looking at the viewers, they faint when I put on a few clothes, and people come from all over the world to see me even though I haven’t been broadcasting for long.

Thinking about it that way, I’m really glad I got Gaia early on.

Real-time translation… only Gaia could do it.

[ Well, above average? Usually, many don’t even leave their homes, let alone speak. ]

“Why? Isn’t just going out a win? You can enjoy everything. There are lots of people who want you.”

[ Because they are protected to that extent, the outside is scary. Look at that fat. Do you think he’s ever been hurt? Even in death, women followed him. ]

The zombie leader briefly comes to mind.

Maybe he’s similar to Mr. Minotaur?

“Still, I’m here to hire a bodyguard too, and it hurts a little to be rejected like that.”

[ You worry too much. Rejecting WooSeok? She’s disqualified as a woman. ]

“Is that how I am, even if I say so myself?”

It feels good.

Even though I wasn’t unpopular worldwide, it’s nice to be praised like this.

However, the occasional outbursts from those around me are a bit tough.

[ Male idols exist in this world too. But none of them are under 150kg. To begin with, their job is just to briefly show their face when they feel like it and read a few lines of lyrics. That’s it. ]

“What, is that it..?”

[ That’s how scary men are. Even with just that, tens of millions of women swoon. Look, it’s not even singing, just reading lyrics. ]

“Almost all women are beautiful, but why are men like that?”

[ Genetically, maybe they all became similar to be chosen by men? It’s just a hypothesis, though. ]

“I’m going to choose my bodyguard very carefully. Let’s go now.”

Feeling a sense of crisis from Gaia’s words, I stepped in while Mr. Minotaur and the clerk were arguing.

I think I was really fearless.

The restaurant I went to with Yena, and the streets I walked alone after I first woke up.

All those places were a threat to my chastity.

“Excuse me, but could I also get an introduction?”

“Ah, one moment, please. This gentleman always takes priority.”

“Huh?”

It’s an unfamiliar experience.

It hasn’t been long, but I’ve always come first here.

“How dare a male interrupt my conversation! You shameless woman!”

[ Ah, they must have mistaken you for a woman after seeing such an unrealistic male. ]

The clerks didn’t even look at me, truly believing I was a woman, and almost all of them were clinging to the Lump of fat, struggling.

“How about this lady? She was Miss Pakistan, you know.”

“No!”

“Then how about this lady? She’s from a noble family in England..”

“No!”

I wonder why such beautiful and promising women came to be bodyguards.

Even in such a remote corner of the East.

[ Bodyguard companies are operated globally, so nationality doesn’t matter. Honestly, they’re called bodyguards, but many of these women are aiming for marriage. Having a husband itself leads to improved social standing. ]

“I’m glad I brought you. You fulfill the role of an explainer so well.”

[ This is the role of a smart assistant! As I said before, I’m constantly honing myself to become more like Skynet. ]

“Hey!”

I was wondering if I had to wait until this Lump of fat was finished, but the glares turned to me this time.

“You! Female!”

“…”

“Hey! Can you not hear me?!”

[ I think they’re calling for WooSeok. ]

“Huh? Are they talking to me?”

“Who else would I be referring to?! It seems you’re also here to hire a bodyguard. Correct?”

“Well… that’s true, but…”

I feel uneasy.

Those oil-filled eyes directed at me are unbelievably creepy.

Why is he licking his lips with his tongue?

Is it because of the sauce around your mouth?

Should I have brought Yena?

Yena would’ve kicked him away in one go.

“As expected of me. To pinpoint the objective so quickly.”

“Is there any other reason to come here?”

“Stop! Don’t talk back!”

“Sigh…”

Why do only these kinds of people flock to me?

I’d rather have the language-less zombies.

“Still, I like that rebellious look and attitude in your eyes. How about it? Becoming my 62nd maid?”

“Whoa…”

[ Maid uniform Jung WooSeok..? Note… note… note… Error… ERROR… ]

He’s unbelievably stupid.

And… disgusting.

“Hehehe. I knew it. Are you speechless with joy? Hey! Mother! Take this female to my bedroom immediately!”

“Hey.”

Ah, I’ve reached my limit.

Regardless of anything else, is talking to someone’s mother like that something a human should do?

[ !2₩|£]?”]¥]?”]6<>\,]$£*~$]>.£17\+>]?”.$ ]

Gaia, I get what you’re trying to say, but why did you break down?

Now I can only see broken characters.

“Me? Did you call me? No need for thanks. This is my duty as a man, so just be grateful for your luck.”

“This bastard, I’ve had enough. Are you out of your mind? What bullshit. What? Maid?”

Everyone around me looked worried.

Insulting a male must be a serious crime.

So what? I’m a man too.

“You, you… how dare..”

“How about some insults you’ve never heard before? Hey, Mr. Blubber.”

I’ll freely use the vocabulary of famous nerds worldwide.

Or do nerdy men not exist in this world?

“Uh… uh…”

Mr. Minotaur, who’s trying to grab the back of his neck, is weaker than I thought.

But he has too much fat on his hands to grab his neck.

Only his poor mother can hold his neck for him.

“And I’m a man, you crazy bastard.”

“””””Huh?”””””

Why are you guys more surprised?

The clerks, more startled than by the Minotaur, froze.

They dropped the items they were holding or carrying.

“Know your place and get out of my sight. You’re an eyesore.”

There’s a characteristic common to people like Mr. Minotaur.

They can’t stand up to those stronger or higher than them.

“L-liar!”

Guess not. Awkward.

[ Thud ]

“Are you reading my mind and answering? And I thought you were broken.”

[ ERROR ERROR ERROR ]

“Look at my ID. Oh, and you clerks over there. I’m broadcasting, so please come watch.”

“Yes…”

“Mom?”

I clearly advertised to the clerks, but the reply came from Mr. Minotaur’s mother.

Unlike a typical mother, her youthful and toned figure truly showed how advantageous this world is for men.

Mr. Minotaur seemed shocked by that and froze.

When his mom stopped supporting the back of his neck, he fell over.

“Then can I be guided to my bodyguards now? I’ve been slightly delayed.”

As politely as possible.

They must be stressed working as clerks.

Especially since the main customer base is men.

A little service for them wouldn’t hurt, right?

Maybe I can gain some regular viewers too.

“So, Mr. Minotaur, let’s not meet again.”

“As expected of you! My maid…”

“Are you really crazy?”

Leaving behind the still-raving Mr. Minotaur and his seemingly regretful mother licking her lips, I moved towards the women’s waiting room.

And then I felt…

“Killing intent?!”

[ No! This is the look of a predator eyeing its prey! And… the danger level is higher than the Sword Princess! ]

Shit.

*