Chapter 39: Prescribed Silence

“That said, it’s still too early to be completely at ease.”

“Even so, this isn’t a state where we can relax completely yet, so you’ll need to continue guiding him consistently.

Do you have any questions?”

At that, So-won glanced at Tae-woo, gauging his reaction.

That morning he’d wondered if it was just his imagination, but now that he looked again, the veins around Tae-woo’s eyes were definitely paler than usual.

If they kept guiding like this… wouldn’t even those disappear someday?

With a vague hope in his heart, So-won asked cautiously.

“If we continue guiding steadily… will Tae-woo’s side effects also get better?”

“Ah, there was a similar case overseas—an Esper who experienced side effects much like Kang Tae-woo’s and improved after receiving guiding.

However, that Esper’s symptoms were mild.

Kang Tae-woo’s condition was extremely severe to begin with, so it would be difficult to expect a complete recovery…”

So-won’s expression brightened—then gradually dimmed as the doctor continued.

Seeing that, the attending physician hurried to add,

“Kang Tae-woo is an S-rank Esper, and a physical enhancement type at that.

Physical enhancement types have high recovery rates, so he may recover faster than expected.”

“I see.”

So-won nodded, his face noticeably lighter.

Watching him accept that much at least, the doctor finally relaxed and turned to Tae-woo.

“Oh, and I hear you’re going to a gate tomorrow.

Is that correct, Kang Tae-woo?”

“Pardon?

A gate?”

He hadn’t heard anything about that.

Hearing it for the first time, So-won looked at Tae-woo in confusion.

Tae-woo lowered his head apologetically.

“I’m sorry.

I should have told you earlier.”

“No, it’s fine.

You’ve been busy lately.

I know now, so it’s okay.”

So-won understood, recalling how hectic Tae-woo’s schedule had been.

Recently, Tae-woo would only return home well past midnight, and So-won—barely keeping his eyes open—would fall asleep before they could even talk.

Even if Tae-woo had wanted to tell him, he probably hadn’t had the chance.

“That being the case, may I ask for your cooperation in a bit of research?

We’ve just brought in new equipment, and I think we’ll get better results if we run tests after you return from the gate.

Radiation guiding can’t be helped, but if you could come in without doing contact guiding after returning from the gate, we’d appreciate it.

Of course, if Kang Tae-woo’s condition worsens, you should guide him.”

“Hmm…”

So-won trailed off.

He didn’t mind cooperating with research, but the request to refrain from guiding after a gate run bothered him.

Even if Tae-woo’s condition had improved enough for his numbers to plunge straight down, going through a gate could always make things worse again.

“Tae-woo, will you be okay?”

“Yes.

I’ll be fine.”

He says he’s fine, but…

So-won’s gaze drifted back to the figures on the report.

He’d felt Tae-woo’s condition improve with his own senses, but seeing the exact numbers brought a different kind of reassurance.

The doctor wouldn’t be ignorant of Tae-woo’s state, and with his condition having improved this much, perhaps it really would be all right.

“Then let’s do that.”

“Thank you both for your cooperation.”

As So-won nodded, the doctor failed to hide his excitement, his delight plainly written across his face.

All that remained were a few minor tests.

Aside from the doctor looking as though he might burst into tears every time results came in—alternating his gaze between So-won and the data—nothing else out of the ordinary happened.

When all the tests were over and So-won stood up with Tae-woo, the doctor stopped him.

“Guide Lee So-won, have you received guide counseling yet?”

“Counseling?”

“Yes.

It’s one of the mandatory requirements.

Once a month has passed since you were assigned a dedicated Esper, you’re supposed to undergo counseling.

If you haven’t yet, how about doing it now while you’re here?

Normally you’d need to schedule it in advance, but I think we can arrange it right away for you.”

Was there really something like that?

So-won tried to think back, but nothing came to mind.

He didn’t recall doing anything like that eight years ago either… though back then, he’d barely followed any mandatory requirements at all.

For now, So-won nodded and left the lab with Tae-woo.

After a brief moment of deliberation, he decided to go ahead with the counseling, just as the doctor suggested.

There was nothing else scheduled, and if it was mandatory, it seemed best to get it done as soon as possible.

“Tae-woo, I’m going to go for the counseling.”

“All right.”

“And…”

So-won hesitated, then spoke again.

“After the counseling, would it be okay if I went to your private room?”

“If it’s you, Lee So-won, you’re welcome anytime.”

At that answer, So-won smiled brightly and nodded.

Just as the doctor had said, when So-won asked about counseling at the information desk, a staff member immediately escorted him to the counseling room.

It all happened quickly, after checking the record of his dedicated Esper.

“Hello, Guide Lee So-won.

Let’s begin the session.”

There was no time to mentally prepare—the counseling began right away.

Left alone with the doctor without even a waiting period, So-won felt a bit tense as he looked at the counselor.

“It’s been a month since your matching.

Are you getting along well with your Esper?”

“Yes.”

“And is the guiding going well?”

“Yes.”

Given the 100% matching rate and the fact that Tae-woo was his Esper, So-won had expected more probing questions.

Thankfully, it was a standard counseling session.

He could answer everything with simple nods or shakes of his head.

The questions remained straightforward throughout—apparently, it really was just a formality.

As his tension eased, So-won felt himself relax, thinking he’d be able to head to Tae-woo’s private room sooner than expected.

“I see here that you’re currently living with your dedicated Esper.

Are you having any difficulties in your daily life?”

“Well…”

After a moment’s hesitation, So-won spoke.

One thing came to mind at the doctor’s question: the recurring nightmares he’d been having since Tae-woo’s death.

Even to himself, So-won knew his nightmares were beyond ordinary.

He couldn’t sleep unless someone was beside him, and the fear of the nightmares lingered even when he was awake, making it frightening to be alone.

At thirty—no, twenty-two years old, to be bothered by something as trivial as nightmares… He’d been afraid people would say he was making a fuss, so he’d told no one and suffered alone.

But with the counseling atmosphere being this light, he wondered if it might be okay to mention it, just a little.

“Actually, I’ve been having the same nightmare for a few days now.

Um… I’m fine if someone’s beside me, but it’s bad enough that I can’t sleep alone.”

After hearing that, the doctor nodded and scribbled something down.

Then he opened So-won’s chart—

And upon seeing what was written there, the doctor chose his words carefully.

The dedicated guide of S-rank Esper Kang Tae-woo.

He’d heard the rumors well enough.

To be matched with such an Esper the moment one awakened as a guide—of course it would be overwhelming.

Guiding someone of a higher rank was already taxing, and that someone being Kang Tae-woo made it even more so.

Judging from the counseling so far, nothing seemed overtly wrong, but it was impossible for there to be no strain at all.

Guiding wasn’t easy work—especially as Kang Tae-woo’s guide.

The doctor looked at So-won with sympathy before speaking.

“It’s not uncommon for guides to experience anxiety shortly after awakening.

I’ll prescribe you a mild sedative—try taking it.”

“A sedative?”

So-won’s eyes widened.

He hadn’t expected to be told to take medication over nightmares alone.

He hurriedly shook his head, insisting it wasn’t that serious, but the doctor pressed the prescription into his hand anyway, saying it would help.

As the doctor explained, the reason the nightmares repeated every night probably wasn’t because he’d awakened as a guide.

The meaning of those dreams was far too clear for that.

Still, given the intense trauma caused by Tae-woo’s death, a sedative might help.

In the end, So-won accepted the prescription.

After the counseling ended and he picked up the medication, the unfamiliar weight of the pill bottle in his hand felt strange.

Back when his depression was at its worst, he’d taken sedatives to the point of being sick of them.

He never thought he’d be taking them again now, when he wasn’t even depressed.

And a whole month’s supply at that—it felt excessive.

Though he thought he wouldn’t need that many, he couldn’t bring himself to throw them away.

So-won carefully tucked the rattling white bottle into his pocket.

Soon after, he arrived at Tae-woo’s private room.

Recalling Tae-woo’s words, a pleasant smile spread across his face.

Anytime, he’d said.

He wouldn’t show up unannounced, of course—but it felt like he’d been granted permission to enter Tae-woo’s space, and that made him happy.

After knocking lightly, he went inside.

Tae-woo greeted him.

“How was the counseling?”

“Mm… it was okay.”

He decided to keep the sedatives a secret.

If Tae-woo found out, he might think So-won was taking them because he was afraid of living with him.

Clearing that misunderstanding would mean talking about the nightmares—and he couldn’t tell Tae-woo that those dreams were about his death.

“Tae-woo, would it be okay if I stopped attending guide training and stayed by your side while you’re working instead?”

So-won asked as he stepped closer to him.

After the incident Tae-woo and Si-hyeok caused in front of the Association, people had started recognizing So-won, making it impossible for him to continue attending training.

Besides, guide training had only ever been an excuse to get Tae-woo to come home earlier.

There was nothing to regret about not going—but the thought of lazing around alone at home all day sounded unbearably dull.

Worse, if he accidentally took a nap, he’d wake up from another nightmare.

“The training I was attending is already over anyway… And when I’m home alone, I get bored.

I thought it might be better to stay by your side and at least provide radiation guiding.

I won’t interfere with your work—I’ll stay quiet.”

He rambled on, worried Tae-woo might refuse, but the response he got was astonishingly simple.

“That’s fine.

You won’t be a disturbance.

Make yourself comfortable.”

Having gotten exactly the answer he wanted, So-won broke into a wide smile.

When he asked if they could go home together again today, Tae-woo nodded once more.