Chapter 40: See you next time (3)

I shouldn’t have left the water-filled space.

Using both hands to grab the blade and press it against my neck was utterly foolish.

Seeing Happy up close would surely allow artificially created emotions to mess with me.

I hated myself for being so arrogant, thinking I had overcome the ‘Quest Jewel’s’ compulsion that had guided me my entire life.

The price for regarding such an important part as trivial was devastating.

“Try if you can.”

Happy’s response sent an indescribable shockwave through me.

Not only did my last resort, which I was sure would succeed, fail.

Her indifference to my declaration of suicide felt like a deep wound.

“What…?”

From that moment, my chest throbbed.

It was a pain similar to the cut on my palm from the blade.

I felt like the love contained within my heart was constantly leaking out, and I tried to clutch it with my hand.

But I couldn’t let go of the blade against my neck.

I don’t know why I thought that way.

Maybe it was because I judged that Happy was lying to me.

I neglected the throbbing in my chest.

It was a bad decision.

In a matter of seconds, my body and mind grew weak.

They worked together to lead me to conjure up a terrifyingly awful delusion.

What if Happy, like me…

Was swept up in the ‘Quest Jewel’s’ punishment and forced to love me?

What if the love she had shown me so far was all a lie?

What if only madness was her true feeling?

How could I possibly find the resolve to deny it?

Not even knowing that, what?

I realized how foolish I had been to rejoice in controlling the punishment inflicted by the ‘Quest Jewel’.

The artificially created emotions had been binding me from the moment I felt them.

From the beginning, until now, without a single moment of rest.

Therefore.

Because it was an area beyond my control.

I hoped that Happy would save me from the negative emotions that were gradually destroying me.

I knew it was unlikely in this serious atmosphere.

But I wanted to hear her say, ‘Just kidding, Unnie,’ and breathe a sigh of relief.

“I said, try if you can.”

But Happy was the same as ever.

No, I had gone so crazy that I didn’t even know if this was still the same.

From that moment, the past two days with her began to change.

I regarded the sweet memories sandwiched between nightmares as nothing more than a childish infatuation.

“Happy.”

“Yes, Unnie.”

“…Are you serious?”

“Yes. I’m serious.”

Asking one last time yielded the same result as before.

From then on, a tremor rippled through the hand holding the blade.

My weakened, trembling legs demanded to collapse on the spot.

Loudly enough for Happy to notice.

Enough for her to laugh at me.

“You can’t do it, can you.”

Yet, I denied reality.

I was still trapped in a fantasy, brainwashing myself that her prank wasn’t over.

I assumed that she was acting tough because she wanted to know my true feelings, which were being swayed by the ‘Quest Jewel’.

Even though I had realized the truth a long time ago.

Happy’s face, which I carefully examined, was full of anger.

Even after uttering the sentence that declared we could never return to the good times.

She wasn’t afraid of the future that lay ahead.

“Then…”

In the end, I never managed to take the initiative in the conversation away from Happy.

At the same time, I sensed that I could no longer extract any information from her.

If so, the conversation should end here.

Now it’s time to choose how to act.

Either run away

Or just die.

You have to choose, Yeres.

…
…

Running away won’t change anything.

You know that.

Let’s end this life here.

If you know, hurry up.

You have to retreat to the next life.

Quickly slit your throat.

But… wait a minute.

What?

There’s one last thing I want to confirm.

That’s a foolish thought.

I know, I know.

How long are you going to be swayed by the punishment of the ‘Quest Jewel’?

Just until today. Allow me only in this life. Please.

…Do as you please.

I didn’t move the blade against my neck.

Instead, I slowly sank to the ground.

Instinct filled the void of reason that had retreated at my stubbornness.

It whispered to me to shed tears and open my mouth.

“Happy.”

“Yes, Yeres Unnie.”

So, I did.

“Did you ever really love me?”

“I’m serious. You’re everything to me, Unnie.”

Again, Happy answered my question without any hesitation.

“Then… why are you doing this to me?”

“That’s because.”

Honestly, I know how absurd this is.

I also know that the contradiction of hating but wanting to be loved can be a great hurt to Happy.

Yet, the reason I asked that question is because I wanted her to shout and get angry at me.

I wanted us to hurl abuse at each other, spew insults, and trample on each other’s hearts so that the feeling of love would disappear.

“It’s no use if only I’m sincere. You’re not. Do you want me to be the only fool? I don’t want that.”

“Couldn’t you have… pretended to be a fool, even a little bit?”

“Ah, I misspoke. I’ve already acted the fool many times.”

Happy fixed the spear aimed at Alpha’s neck in the air.

Then, she slowly walked towards me.

“When you broke the drain to escape.”

Step by step

“When you tried to escape using Runt.”

Very slowly

“When you imitated a dog in front of me.”

Continuing on

“When you pretended to love me.”

Constantly

“I loved you so much that I pretended to be a fool in front of you every time something like that happened.”

With madness filling her eyes

“But… you never loved me.”

I was overwhelmed by her momentum, which was nothing like that of a magical girl.

I took a step back each time she took a step closer.

Splash

Before I knew it, the concentration of the liquid I felt on the floor had changed.

I was pushed away from the blood-filled floor to the water-filled floor.

“Isn’t it too selfish to ask me to act even more like a fool after all that?”

“But…!”

“Speak.”

Is it because I’m a water-based magic user?

Is it because I recalled my time as the queen of the evil organization Dark Moon?

I don’t know what it is.

“You kidnapped and abused me.”

Whatever it was, I ignored the correct answer that I shouldn’t do that anymore and kept hoping she would shout and get angry at me.

I was busy stimulating her nerves by reciting the most provocative sentences possible.

But it didn’t work.

“You didn’t even listen to me properly and tried to run away. Do you want to say that’s my fault too?”

“I… I…”

I never imagined I would be cornered instead.

I trembled even at sentences that were easy to refute and prayed that this life would end here.

“That’s enough.”

Unlike me, Happy cherished this life.

“I won’t be fooled by you anymore.”

When she opened her clenched fist, light burst forth.

The light ignored the natural law that it should only run forward and took shape.

It was a snare with the purpose of restraint.

Whirr

“Ugh…!”

I should have counterattacked immediately or gotten up and run away right away.

The big reason I couldn’t do that was because my mind had been broken by talking to Happy until now.

“I didn’t want to do this. It’s all your fault.”

Dozens of snares wrapped around my body.

The oncoming pain was so great that it couldn’t be compared to cutting my palm with a blade.

“I’ll cut off your limbs so you can’t run away anymore.”

The only part I could move was my face.

When I looked up at Happy, I could see the love that had been twisted by madness flickering.

“I’ll tear out your vocal cords and leave you alone for a month.”

She approached at the same speed as before and unhesitatingly spewed out harsh sentences.

She cast a light magic spell to create a knife with a very sharp side and thrust it at my right arm.

“If you live like that, you’ll love me out of fear, right?”

Happy was a good child who always kept her promises.

So, she would definitely do that.

After cutting off my right arm, then my left arm.

Then my legs.

And finally, my vocal cords.

I could clearly feel the madness in her actions, which were trying to raise me instead of loving me.

Then I had to do the same.

I struggled with the pain that stemmed from dozens of snares and steeled my wavering heart.

Even if I hadn’t solved all the questions, I had to end this life here.

Otherwise, I would be in an even more miserable state and crushed by Happy’s love.

“Endure the pain.”

I swallowed and recalled how much water I could gather at once.

That should be enough.

No, even if it wasn’t enough, I had to do it.

Happy raised the knife high into the sky.

And when she was about to cut my arm

I used the magic cast with the gathered water as a source to tear off the snares.

I couldn’t tear them all off, but I didn’t care.

All I needed was to be able to move my neck.

I thrust my neck at the knife that was coming down on my right arm.

Thwack

Fortunately, she reacted slowly.

“Yeres Unnie!!!!!”

The plan was only half successful.

Blood gushed like a fountain from my half-severed neck.

The extremely filthy feeling caused both me and Happy to not take any action for a moment.

Then Happy recovered the knife and rushed to heal me.

I couldn’t let that happen.

Don’t stop me from looking forward to the next life.

“Unnie!!! Don’t do this!!!”

I gathered all the water I had brought and created a barrier.

It wasn’t enough to stop Happy forever, but 20 seconds was enough.

Having experienced death so many times, I could easily calculate it even with my crumbling mind.

So, 18 seconds from now.

“Take this away right now, Unnie!”

15 seconds.

“Don’t leave me!”

I could feel the ominousness from Happy’s hand sticking out through the barrier.

13 seconds.

“Wait a little longer!!”

At this rate, it seemed like she would dismantle the barrier before I died.

10 seconds.

“Open your eyes, Unnie!!”

More than half of the barrier had collapsed.

I could see Happy’s face, wailing as she looked at me.

8 seconds.

“I’m done! I’m done!!”

Through the blurred vision, I could see Happy breaking through the barrier.

I wracked my brain, which wasn’t working properly.

I had to find a way to take away Happy’s time.

…
…
That’s it.

6 seconds.

“Happy.”

I reached out my hand.

4 seconds.

“I’m sorry for… lying about loving you.”

I stroked her cheek and apologized.

2 seconds.

“This is… the truth.”

She couldn’t take any action at my words.

0 seconds.

The blurred vision was completely dyed black.

It wasn’t scary because it was a sensation I had felt so many times.

However, the faint loneliness I felt was a bit painful.