Chapter 7: The Weight of a Single Word

#7

‘Wow, this is insane.’

He longed to boast about this incredible event to someone, anyone, but the unfortunate truth was that he had no one to share it with.

Dohoon, who had stood rooted to the spot until the live broadcast concluded, finally collapsed onto his bed only after the “broadcast ended” screen appeared.

‘Word.’

Jaejeong’s single word still echoed vividly in his ears. ‘So this is what it means to be an idol.’ To captivate and sway hearts with just that one brief utterance—he was truly extraordinary.

His excited heart showed no signs of calming, so he took Taeshik out and ran around the neighborhood for a long time. The wild, soaring feeling only somewhat subsided after he’d worked up a good sweat. Of course, whenever he thought of Jaejeong, he still couldn’t suppress a smile.

Overwhelmed with exhilaration, Dohoon recalled Ppaksae of Jjaekjjaek, who had previously offered him significant help. Surely Ppaksae would cheerfully receive such a story. A sudden wave of anticipation washed over Dohoon, and he immediately logged onto Jjaekjjaek.

Navigating to the message tab, he found the past conversation he’d shared with Ppaksae. However, the nickname and profile picture had changed, making him momentarily wonder if it was indeed the same person.

[TSdaddy: Ppaksae-nim]

[TSdaddy: Your nickname changed, so I wasn’t sure if it was you.]

After sending the messages, Dohoon pushed his excitement aside and waited for a reply. As it happened, Ppaksae was also online, and a response arrived shortly after.

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: Ah]

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: Hello]

[TSdaddy: Yes!]

He was beyond well; his condition was so superb he felt as if he could fly.

[TSdaddy: Did you happen to watch K-Live today? Haha]

He hesitated, knowing it would be obvious he was speaking with the sole purpose of boasting, but he felt he couldn’t endure if he didn’t unburden this overwhelming feeling somewhere.

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: I watched bits and pieces.]

[TSdaddy: Did you hear Jaejeong say ‘Word’ in the middle of it?]

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: Huh? Did he?]

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: I must have missed it.]

A sigh of regret escaped him upon hearing that they had missed that historical moment.

[TSdaddy: Ah… that’s a shame.]

[TSdaddy: He said that because he read my chat, you see.]

[TSdaddy: Jaejeong wasn’t saying much, so I sent a message telling him to say something.]

[TSdaddy: And Jaejeong said, ‘Word.’]

Even as he typed, his laughter wouldn’t stop. After sending the messages with a goofy grin, Dohoon felt a little embarrassed, realizing he had talked too much about himself.

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: Really?]

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: Jaejeong must have been cute.]

Dohoon, who had hoped for a slightly different reaction, if not one as enthusiastic as his own, was somewhat taken aback by Ppaksae’s remarkably calm response. Was it possible that in this world, such an event was truly nothing special? His soaring spirits plummeted in an instant.

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: K-app is good, but sometimes]

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: The fandom atmosphere gets ruined, and that’s annoying.]

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: This is when I like that my bias doesn’t talk much.]

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: No words means no slip-ups, haha.]

Having missed the beginning of K-Live, and with no negative fandom atmosphere having seeped into Dohoon’s timeline, he was completely unaware of the underlying issues.

[TSdaddy: Is something wrong?]

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: It’s just that sometimes members make slip-ups, you know.]

[Ppaksae_WaitingForPSComeback: Nothing major, though.]

At the assurance that it was nothing major, Dohoon didn’t press further, bringing the conversation to a close. Though Dohoon, still only dipping his toes into this shallow water, remained oblivious, K-Live, while fostering a comfortable atmosphere, also attracted various controversies due to its wide exposure.

[Idol_Quilting @idol_quilting

(Video)

Kwak Yubin’s K-app mood-killer.avi]

–[1000YearsOfWhite: @idol_quilting Kwak-again…]

–[Kwak_You_Bang: @idol_quilting Next up, baseless criticism.]

[Olden @**

(Quote)

I’m worried about the kid being sick, but a member is… ever since the visa, why is he like this, seriously?]

[ekjEjioTkd @**

(Quote)

Anti-fan account is acting up again.]

Once retweets started circulating on Jjaekjjaek, there were always those who would diligently spread them to idol communities, escalating the situation.

[FaceA’s Yubin, criticized for being tactless on K-app]

(Video)

Opinions are split on whether he was tactless or if what he said wasn’t wrong.

—-

Anonymous01: They’re only talking about it on Jjaekjjaek.

Anonymous02: Isn’t it against the rules to bring reactions from other communities?

…

Anonymous15: FaceA fans are always so fast; they always get the first comment.

–Anonymous05: If you’re annoyed, then come in faster too.

–Anonymous15: I’m not glued to communities like some people, so how can I get in faster?

–Anonymous14: This fan-baiting is tiresome… How can you tell who’s a fan just by looking at comments in an anonymous community?

…

Anonymous23: Didn’t he just say it casually because he was lazy? The other members explained it afterward, so it’s fine.

–Anonymous17: Exactly, why does he always make the other members have to explain things for him? It’s not the first or second time he’s done this.

Anonymous24: Transparent source… What’s the point of bringing a post from an account that constantly acts like an anti-fan?

Anonymous25: Before Jaejeong explained, his face looked a little stiff. Wasn’t he pissed off?

–Anonymous05: Jaejeong always looks like that.

…

Anonymous47: Remember last time, when Jayden went to Canada for his visa, he joked about him ‘flying off to Canada’ cutting out all context, and then the ‘Jayden is a pigeon’ rumors went wild? At this point, it feels like he enjoys causing controversy.

–Anonymous24: Next up, baseless speculation.

–Anonymous15: It’s a reasonable suspicion.

****

From early morning, the dorm was bustling. There was a photoshoot for the album, which meant an early departure for the salon after a long time. Jaejeong, who was not one to oversleep, was the first to wake, wash up, and rouse the other members.

He even prepared a simple breakfast, though it was only toast in the toaster. Aside from the member who had no appetite, everyone else had a piece of bread in their mouths. Jaejeong was among those who had no appetite.

“Hyung, aren’t you eating bread?”

Taeyoung, spreading a generous amount of peanut butter on a slice of bread, casually asked.

“I don’t eat breakfast.”

“I don’t feel energetic if I don’t eat.”

“Eat a lot, then.”

Jaejeong lightly ruffled Taeyoung’s hair, which was sticking out in all directions as if he hadn’t dried it properly the night before, then left the kitchen.

After a quick meal, the car carrying the members headed to the salon. Sejin and Yubin, who didn’t live in the dorm, had already arrived and were getting their makeup done.

After a brief greeting with the two, Jaejeong quickly took a seat. To finish preparations quickly, he needed to secure a chair first and not get sidetracked. With his short hair and not much to conceal on his face, Jaejeong’s preparations always finished earlier than the other members.

“Thank you.”

Jaejeong, who finished his preparations at a similar time to the early-arriving Sejin, stood up with a greeting. Just then, Sejin pulled Jaejeong along, suggesting they go for coffee.

“How far are you planning to go?”

“The cafe right in front.”

“They give us coffee here too, you know.”

“Coffee from a cafe tastes better.”

Jaejeong didn’t add any further words to Sejin’s stubbornness. Though they were only a year apart, Jaejeong often felt as if Sejin was a much younger brother. He held similar feelings for all the younger members of the team. Therefore, he usually indulged their wishes whenever possible.

Even for a cafe right in front of the salon, a manager accompanied them. The company always exercised caution due to people who would follow them even to the salon. The three headed to the cafe’s attached terrace, holding their prepared coffees.

Leaning against the railing, Jaejeong took a long sip of his coffee. Despite the early hour, quite a few people were coming and going on the street. Jaejeong’s gaze, watching the busy pedestrians, moved quickly along with them.

“Oh, right. Sejin, did you see Han Dohoon’s interview?”

“What interview?”

“He talked about you in some magazine interview, didn’t he?”

“Really?”

At the manager’s words, Sejin’s eyes sparkled. His favorite senior talked about him? What could be better than that?

“Yeah. It just went up online yesterday. Han Dohoon said he saw your impression of him and that you’re good at it. There’s a video.”

“Awesome. Wow, that’s crazy. Han Dohoon knows me? Oh my god, what do I do?”

Sejin’s face, flushed with excitement, soon became intensely animated. Though his face was covered by makeup, his earlobes and the nape of his neck glowed bright red.

Beside Sejin, who was immediately searching for Dohoon’s video on his phone, Jaejeong quietly lowered his gaze. It was a segment from an interview video uploaded to the magazine’s account.

[Q. Have you seen the trending Han Dohoon impression video?

–Ah, that one. Yes, I have. It’s FaceA’s Sejin-nim, right? You’re quite good.]

“He called me Sejin-nim! Hyung, look at this.”

Sejin held the screen out to Jaejeong, who stood beside him. Jaejeong stared intently at Dohoon’s smiling face on the screen. After proudly displaying the screen for a moment, Sejin pressed the replay button again.

[Q. Are you aware that FaceA’s Sejin chose you as his role model? How does it feel to be frequently mentioned as a role model by junior artists these days?

–Ah, I wasn’t aware of that. I’m very grateful. I haven’t done anything particularly special, so for them to choose me as a role model…]

[Q. Do you have any words for the many junior artists who look up to you?

–First, thank you very much. Ah, what should I say? Haha… Hmm, thinking back to my rookie days, you might feel stagnant or that your situation is hopeless. I definitely had such periods. But looking back, it seems everyone finds their light at different times. Even if the future feels uncertain or you feel powerless, I hope you never give up. There truly is no weapon like diligence and perseverance.]

Jaejeong, who had been quietly listening to Dohoon’s words, clenched the fist he had hidden behind his back. Lately, every single day had been like that for Jaejeong. Stuck somewhere, with darkness ahead. He simply couldn’t envision a future. Even now, with comeback preparations keeping him busy and no time for other thoughts, he couldn’t imagine how he would have endured these times without it.