Chapter 14: While I Slept

“I hope you’re not thinking I’m keeping you alive because I couldn’t kill you.”

I had known for a long time.
It wasn’t that ‘X’ couldn’t kill me, but that he always let me go instead of killing me.
It must have been confidence.
The confidence that no matter how many times—hundreds or thousands—he fought me, he could never lose.

Maybe it was to pin the original sin of this world’s destruction on me.
After each fight with me he would, as if punishing me, erase one city from the map.
Because of that I always suffered from a heavy guilt even though I fought with my best.
I had to endure all the blame poured onto me.

“So what? What are you gonna do about it?”

“You wouldn’t understand. How ridiculous you are, risking your life and throwing yourself into fights you can’t win, doing it like it’s some kind of suicide mission. I found that so entertaining.”

“As expected from a monster — terrible taste.”

“…Monster, huh… What really separates monsters from humans?”

At that moment I couldn’t answer his question.
I couldn’t explain what difference there was between the man in front of me and myself.

“Is it only that the appearance is different? Or that you can’t communicate with them? Or that they eat weaker humans? Those are all standards from a human perspective.”

It sounded somehow philosophical.
Was he trying to say that monsters weren’t so different from humans after all?

“Then what am I? I speak the same language as you, I look the same as you. Besides, I don’t have the hobby of eating humans.”

It felt like getting slapped in the back of the head.

“So think carefully. What other reason might I have to keep you alive.”

That conversation we’d had sometime during countless battles suddenly came back to me.

My whole body seemed to be feverish and I must have been having useless dreams.
When ‘X’’s face blurred and my bodily sensations returned, the pain started again.
At least I could breathe properly, but my body was burning hot.

“…Can you… hear me? Hyung…”

At the sound of a voice near my ear I lifted my eyelids.
Blurry and out of focus… I saw ‘X’.
‘X’ looking down at me.
Before I could tell whether it was a dream or reality, that face changed into a familiar one.
I must have been mistaken because I felt bad.
Jaeyul was looking down at me.

“Haa… ha…”

The dream must have been too vivid.
I was too tired to keep my eyes open so I closed them again.
Something cold touched my forehead.
The icy chill cooled my head and my breathing eased.
Relief washed over me and consciousness sank below the surface once again.

“…Hyung. Hyung, just wake up for a second…”

When I came to again, I felt somewhat better than before.
My whole body still felt heavy like a waterlogged doll, but the fever had mostly gone.
I tried to lift myself with the strength supporting my nape, but I was too weak; opening my eyes was all I could do.

“Take this medicine and sleep again, hyung…”

“…Jae, Yul…”

My head spun and my vision swam.
After checking only Jaeyul’s face, I closed my eyes again.

“I’ll give you the medicine, so this time don’t throw up — just swallow it, okay?”

Again…? I didn’t understand, but a hard pill went into my mouth and water followed, brought to my lips.
I hadn’t known my throat was so dry, but the lukewarm water made me feel much better.
Sleepiness crept up again.

“…Don’t be in pain, hyung…”

I kept falling asleep and waking up like that.
Each time I woke up I felt my body getting better.
I couldn’t tell how much time had passed or why I had ended up like this, but gradually my thoughts cleared.

Right. I ate that black Petra and manifested as an Omega.
The manifestation itself wasn’t really surprising.
I had always been an Omega.
But the timing was absurdly early.
Normally I would have manifested after turning twenty, so I hadn’t prepared at all and paid the price.
And the usual manifestation felt like a bad cold; this time it felt like I had almost died and come back.

“Mm…”

As I stirred, unfamiliar movements and sounds reached me.
Even though my eyes were open, I couldn’t see clearly, so it must be evening now.
I stared at the ceiling and waited for my eyes to adjust to the dark.
The sleeping child beside me was the first thing I noticed.
Clinging to me like a koala on a big tree, one leg and one arm wrapped tightly around me as he slept.
…No wonder it felt stifling.

“Why are you sleeping here?”

Careful not to wake Jaeyul, I rose and carried the sleeping child to the bed in the room and laid him down.
I hadn’t exerted myself at all, yet I had no strength — how long had I been lying there?
After moving Jaeyul and closing the door, I turned on the living room light.

“…What the hell… is this…?”

I was speechless at the sight of the living room in the bright light.
At first glance it looked like a thief had broken in.
Of course… our house didn’t have anything worth stealing, to the point that a thief would have to leave their money behind.
Still.

A thick winter blanket that we only use in winter was spread on the floor, and around it were basins of water and several towels.
There were bowls that seemed to have contained medicine.
I learned what had been in those bowls from the kitchen.
Half a pot of white rice porridge that had been partially eaten was left in the pot.

“…Haa…”

A sigh escaped me as memories of what must have happened came back.
It was probably all Jaeyul’s doing.
He must have covered me with the thick blanket when I felt hot and then cold like having a fever, wiped my face with wet towels, and when it was mealtime diluted the rice and boiled porridge for me to eat.
I don’t know how he managed to get medicine, but he even found something to regulate pheromones and gave them to me on schedule.

I pictured the small kid bustling around like a mirage.
For that reason, I felt strangely uncomfortable tidying up the messy living room.
Bits of scenes flashed in my memory: swallowing porridge down my throat, the wet towel cooling me.
Even the voice saying, “I’ll be right back,” came back.

“…….”

I opened the refrigerator and couldn’t even sigh.
I had no idea how many days I had been unconscious, but there was nothing left in the fridge.
Not even a single common egg or a side dish.
What on earth had the kid been eating all that time?

My thoughts were too confused, so I cleaned the living room and took a shower.
Still, the noisy turmoil inside me didn’t quiet down.
I quietly went back to my room, sat on the floor beside the bed where Jaeyul was sleeping, and stared at his deeply sleeping face.
I felt sorry and grateful, and even more sorry.

---

I chopped green onions and peppers and put them into the bubbling doenjang stew, then lowered the heat.
Just in time I flipped the grilled mackerel again and turned off the stove.
I neatly sliced the cooled rolled omelet and placed it on a plate.

For the first time in a long while I also put anchovy braised and soy-braised beef into small bowls.

“Tofu stew is done, rolled omelet and mackerel, stew… ah, seasoned lettuce salad.”

I washed the lettuce in advance and mixed sliced onions with the dressing to finish it.
When I filled the table with dishes enough to be a full meal, just looking at it made me feel full.
Of course, having shopped and prepared since dawn, I was already tired.

“Huh…?”

Jaeyul seemed to have woken up at the right moment.
Although it was long past morning, I deliberately hadn’t woken him.
He normally slept a lot in the mornings and looked more tired than usual.
Anyway, it took a long time to prepare the side dishes.

“Jaeyul’s awake…”

I tried to greet him cheerfully, but couldn’t finish my sentence.

“Ugh, hic… Hyung, are you not in pain anymore…?”

He ran over, hugged me, and broke down in sobs.
He must have been worried.
After all, I — the only adult near him, even if only temporary family — had been unconscious for several days.
When that anxiety turned to relief, the tears flowed.

“Yeah. Thanks to you I don’t hurt at all anymore.”

I lifted him up, deliberately brighter in my voice, supporting his hips.
I matched his eye level and smiled.

“You were really worried… hic, I was so worried… I…”

Even so, he couldn’t calm down and kept clinging around my neck, crying again.
No amount of patting his back helped.
I let him have his moment of relief.
I was the one who had done something terrible.
Even at thirteen, I had made this kid worry.
Why did I eat that damn black Petra.

“You were really worried… Sorry, hyung…”

“Huh, I even looked up how to put on makeup just in case, hic, I tried to find out…”

…What, you idiot…? Isn’t that going too far…?
Suddenly my feeling of being moved plunged into the pit.
Kids these days are scary.
Because I manifested as an Omega, he almost tried to burn me to death.
I promised myself I’d never be sick in front of Jaeyul again.