Chapter 48: A Quiet Farewell

“How is it?”

“…Uh, yeah, it looks good…. As expected, our Jaeyul’s such a good clothes hanger—everything looks good on you!”

“It’s not that great…. It’s basically the same as a school uniform.”

Wearing the Academy uniform, Jaeyul looked like a different person.

The Academy—an educational institution somewhere between a school and the military.

Special ability users of all ages gather there to learn how to properly use their power.

Tomorrow, Jaeyul would be entering that place.

Judging by the way he scratched his cheek awkwardly at my praise,

he was still the Jaeyul I knew.

“This uniform is actually hard to pull off.

You need broad shoulders and height for it to look good.”

“What are you talking about, like you’ve tried it on before.

Hyung, stop just talking and hurry up and try it too.”

“Me…? No, I’m fine….”

Jaeyul insisted that I try on the Academy uniform as well.

Thinking back, the Academy didn’t leave me with good memories.

Everyone who approached me kindly back then

ultimately tried to use me one way or another.

As the only SS-rank Esper at the time,

I was valuable enough to exploit.

And aside from those people,

most Espers disliked me for no reason at all.

That’s why I told Jaeyul there was no need to aim for a high rank.

Living quietly is easier when you stay in the middle.

As I put on the Academy uniform for the first time in a long while,

random thoughts flooded my head endlessly,

and I hastily threw it on before stepping out of the fitting room.

“It feels awkward, somehow….”

The reflection in the mirror felt unfamiliar.

I couldn’t even remember how many years it had been since I graduated from the Academy.

This uniform, too, had only ever been worn that long ago.

“What the—hyung, you liar….

Didn’t you say you needed broad shoulders and height?

I think it looks way better on you.”

Jaeyul stepped closer, wrapping an arm around my shoulder,

meeting my eyes through the mirror.

The corners of his eyes curved beautifully.

“You like it that much?”

“Of course.

We’re going together—how could I not like it?

I’ll get stronger now and protect you, hyung,

so just wait a little longer. Really.”

I placed my hand over Jaeyul’s hand resting lightly on my shoulder.

I hadn’t even tied the tie properly,

yet my throat tightened.

The suffocating feeling clogged my chest.

In the end, I couldn’t say yes.

I couldn’t tell him I would.

I answered with a clumsy smile instead.

I couldn’t bring myself to make a promise I wouldn’t be able to keep.

It was a heartbreaking life.

A biological mother who disappeared in childhood.

Years spent with a stepfather she married,

enduring abuse so cruel the word itself felt insufficient.

Beaten until the brink of death,

roaming dangerous Gates instead of attending school.

Friends and teachers alike did nothing but leave scars.

Not a single person held the child’s small hand.

At first, he must have endured.

Believing that someday light would reach his life too,

that everyone gets at least one chance.

But soon he must have given up,

fallen into despair.

And eventually, grown angry.

Angry that the world was so cruel only to him.

That way…

Seon Jaeyul must have been born as “X.”

A ruthless murderer mistaken for a monster,

a legendary villain wielding absolute power.

It’s only a hypothesis,

but the process draws itself vividly in my mind.

But the current Jaeyul can’t become that.

Because of me—who started taking care of him out of some flimsy sense of justice—

he can’t fully wield the power he rightfully should have.

As long as I stay by his side,

the same thing will repeat.

Jaeyul will try to protect me from danger,

and I’ll do the same.

It doesn’t matter if he never becomes a villain who destroys the world.

If that’s Jaeyul’s choice now.

Wishing for the world’s destruction

is merely the desire of who I am now,

and of the “X” from the previous life.

But whatever choices Jaeyul makes from here on,

insufficient ability must not become an obstacle.

It must not be because his strength was lacking.

Whether he chooses to destroy the world again or not,

he must have the firm power to walk that path.

An abundance of strength—more than enough—

to shape his future.

So… this is as far as we go.

“By the way, hyung, shouldn’t we find a new place to live?

We already pulled out the deposit from the old place,

and it’s too far from the Academy to come rest easily.”

“We’ll be living in the dorm anyway, so it’s not that necessary.

Let’s save all the Academy pay and find a place slowly in a few years.”

“That’s a relief.

I was really worried I wouldn’t be able to earn money until after graduating college,

but I guess I’ll start earlier than I thought.”

Moments like this really remind me he’s still a kid.

Jaeyul kept smiling, probably imagining a plump bank account.

He didn’t say it, but it seemed like he’d wanted to go to the Academy all along.

“Aren’t you sad about quitting judo?

You spent years training.

And you… liked it, didn’t you?”

“Huh? I don’t like judo, hyung.”

“…What? You don’t?”

“Yeah.

What’s fun about sticking to sweaty guys?

Showing off strength gets old fast.”

What…?

I’d always assumed Jaeyul liked judo.

“I worked hard because you liked it, hyung.

How did you not notice all this time?”

On the way back after fitting the uniforms,

I stopped and faced Jaeyul.

The five years we spent together—

it wasn’t just me who sacrificed alone.

I thought I was the one taking care of him at first,

but the truth was different.

Just as Jaeyul relied on me,

I relied on Jaeyul too.

It wasn’t that I endured hardships because of him—

I endured them thanks to him.

Just like I did what I had to rather than what I wanted,

Jaeyul must have done the same.

“You don’t have to do that anymore, Jaeyul.

You can live doing what you want, what you like.”

I’m still not certain.

Whether this is the right choice,

whether it truly is the best for Jaeyul…

I don’t know.

I can only hope it is.

“No matter what you do, don’t forget…

I’m on your side.”

Even if I’m not by your side.

I will be. Jaeyul.

“Wow… this place is amazing….”

Since we had no home,

we were staying in a short-term rental.

With the Academy starting tomorrow,

there was no need to rush finding a house.

And today,

we booked a slightly nicer residence-style hotel than usual.

“So this is the kind of interior you like, hyung.”

One living room and two bedrooms—

the same layout as our old place—

but since we spent some money,

the interior was noticeably luxurious.

Beyond the wide living room window,

the city nightscape spread out like a painting.

An expensive-looking carpet covered the floor.

The furniture clearly wasn’t cheap either.

“Who wouldn’t like this?

Just looking at that view, I could down three bottles of soju.”

“…Hyung, you drink?”

“How old do you think I am? Of course I do!

Do you know how hard it was only drinking after you fell asleep all this time?”

What’s with that stiff expression…?

In an instant, the smile vanished from Jaeyul’s face.

He let out a deep sigh and grabbed my arm.

Ah… this is dangerous….

“Hyung.

Do you even know how bad alcohol is for your body?

Liver cancer, stomach cancer, brain development issues—”

“…Uh, sorry….”

“You think that’s all?

Strokes, memory loss, even dementia—”

“Yeah… I was wrong….

You’re right about everything….”

That was a mistake.

Thinking it was the last time, I said something unnecessary.

Even on a day like this, I had to sit through a lecture…!

My head felt dizzy.

Even though I was fully awake,

everything felt strangely hazy.

Jaeyul’s nagging was devastating.

And it was all correct, so I couldn’t even argue back.

“What are you going to make, hyung?”

After enduring a lecture intense enough to make my ears bleed,

we went into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

We’d bought plenty of ingredients before checking in.

“It’s a cooking competition—can’t tell you.”

“Hah. Sorry, hyung, but I really hate losing.

I won’t go easy on you, even if you’re my hyung.”

“Yeah, same here.”

With only the two of us,

a cooking contest began.

It was simple.

Jaeyul insisted on cooking,

and I wasn’t willing to back down either.

So we both stood in the kitchen,

making our own dishes.

“Jaeyul, if you’re cutting onions and green onions,

cut some for me too.”

“Haa… how much?”

“Just a reasonable amount.”

Grumbling, Jaeyul still cut vegetables for my share too.

At least when it came to knife skills,

he was better than me.

“Cut me some squid too. Half a piece.”

“How big?”

“About the size of one of your fingers.”

In the end, we helped each other cook.

Well… it couldn’t be helped.

We were both doing this to feed each other something delicious.

Competition—

could there be a word less fitting for us?

Thinking that even this comfortable time would soon end…

my mood sank for no reason.

“Ang, ang-ang!”

“Got it. I’ll make your food too,

so wait patiently.”

At least that’s something.

With this noisy beast around,

I’ll probably smile at least once more.

“Good night, hyung.”

“Uh… you too.”

I stood in the living room,

watching until Jaeyul went into his room.

After staring at the closed door for a long time,

I placed an envelope on the table.

Our house deposit—

basically all our money—

the bankbook and card.

A box full of Petra,

and a note explaining how to take it, just in case.

“Poppy.”

“…Kking….”

Such a perceptive little thing.

I hadn’t said anything yet,

but Poppy drooped his ears and looked miserable.

“Take good care of Jaeyul.

When things get dangerous…

you have to protect him. Okay?

We’re still family. Please.”

I hesitated until the very end.

Whether to take Poppy with me,

or leave him behind.

Selfishly, I wanted to keep at least Poppy by my side.

Just seeing his antics would force a smile out of me.

But I didn’t know what dangers might come for Jaeyul,

so I decided to leave him.

It’s a shame… but it can’t be helped.

“…Stay by his side so he doesn’t feel lonely.”

I can’t do it,

but Poppy can.

“…Gwek…!”

As I kept stroking his small back,

he suddenly gagged.

This… feels familiar…?

After dry-heaving until his back shook,

something dropped from Poppy’s mouth.

“…Why is this coming out of your stomach…?”

“Ang.”

It was Petra.

And not just any—

a high-grade one, glowing a pure white.

I had no idea when he hid this again.

Poppy nudged the Petra toward me with his front paw.

“What is this, a gift?”

Poppy seemed offended again.

After dropping the Petra,

he walked over to Jaeyul’s door,

turned his back to me, and sat down.

It meant he was mad and wouldn’t talk.

…Ha, you adorable thing.

How am I supposed to live without you….

I put Poppy’s gift into my pocket

and packed a small bag.

Now… everything was ready.

When Jaeyul realizes I’m gone,

he’ll probably feel a betrayal beyond imagination.

Abandoned once again.

But that’s better.

If his anger toward me lets him gain power beyond the past,

it’s a worthwhile trade.

If it even becomes the trigger for awakening as “X,”

the one who destroys the world…

I don’t mind becoming the villain.

Well… I don’t know if I’m worth that much to Jaeyul.

After all, I devoted five years to see that version of him in the first place.

Even if that blind killing intent were to turn toward me,

I was prepared to endure it.

I believe this is the reason for my second life,

which began by chance.

My role ends here.

“…Sleep well… Jaeyul.”

Just for tonight,

please sleep peacefully without nightmares.

Please… please,

don’t let it be too hard on you.